📝 Worksheet 2.5: Peacefire Session Map and Coach Question Bank
📝 Worksheet 2.5: Peacefire Session Map and Coach Question Bank
Worksheet Purpose
This worksheet helps you build a practical Peacefire Session Map and a consent-based coach question bank for use in a Peacefire Ministry Practice.
By the end of this worksheet, you will have a repeatable tool that can help you guide a conflict-navigation session without rushing, controlling, diagnosing, judging motives, or feeding the Wildfire.
Student Name
Date
Ministry Setting
Soul Center / Church / Chaplaincy / Parish / Online / Community-Based / Other:
Practice Name or Draft Name
A. Formation of the Minister
1. Opening Prayer
Pray slowly before completing this worksheet.
Lord Jesus,
Teach me to return to Your Peacefire before I try to help others. Make me quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Help me notice Wildfire without becoming harsh, Strangefire without becoming proud, and fear without becoming controlling. Form in me the fruit of Your Spirit so I can serve people in conflict with humility, truth, courage, and love.
Amen.
2. My Personal Wildfire Inventory
When I am in conflict, I am most tempted to respond through:
Check all that apply.
☐ Defensiveness
☐ Anger
☐ Withdrawal
☐ Silence used as punishment
☐ Gossip disguised as concern
☐ Over-explaining
☐ Needing to be understood immediately
☐ Wanting to prove I am right
☐ Controlling the conversation
☐ Avoiding responsibility
☐ Blaming others
☐ Spiritualizing my reaction
☐ Rehearsing the offense repeatedly
☐ Seeking allies
☐ Sending messages too quickly
☐ Withholding warmth
☐ Assuming motives
☐ Other: ____________________________________
Reflection
Which Wildfire pattern do I most need to surrender to Christ?
3. My Strangefire Check
Strangefire is trying to accomplish a godly goal through ungodly methods.
In ministry, I may be tempted toward Strangefire when I:
☐ Want peace so badly that I pressure people too quickly
☐ Want to be helpful so badly that I overstep my role
☐ Want truth so badly that I become harsh
☐ Want reconciliation so badly that I minimize safety
☐ Want to be trusted so badly that I promise too much
☐ Want to be wise so badly that I talk too much
☐ Want a successful session so badly that I push for an outcome
☐ Want to protect someone so badly that I stop listening carefully
☐ Want justice so badly that I become accusatory
☐ Other: ____________________________________
Reflection
Where might a good ministry desire become a controlling demand in me?
4. The Peacefire Pause for the Minister
Before every Peacefire session, practice this pause.
Breathe
Take one slow breath.
Pray
“Lord Jesus, I return to You. Help me listen before I speak. Help me stay in my role. Help me serve without control.”
Ask
What am I carrying into this session?
What do I need to surrender before I serve?
What fruit of the Spirit do I especially need today?
☐ Love
☐ Joy
☐ Peace
☐ Patience
☐ Kindness
☐ Goodness
☐ Faithfulness
☐ Gentleness
☐ Self-control
5. My Consent Posture
A Peacefire Coach Minister does not force guidance. The coach asks permission before moving from listening to discernment or directive formation.
Complete these sentences.
When someone is emotional, I am tempted to:
When someone wants me to take their side, I am tempted to:
When someone asks for advice too quickly, I should first:
When I want to share Scripture or counsel, I can ask:
6. Scripture Reflection
Read James 1:19–20:
“So, then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger; for the anger of man doesn’t produce the righteousness of God.”
What would it look like for me to be “swift to hear” in a Peacefire session?
What would it look like for me to be “slow to speak”?
What kind of anger, anxiety, urgency, or control might keep me from serving well?
B. Formation of the Practice
7. My Peacefire Session Map
Use this map as a repeatable structure for a Peacefire coaching session.
Step 1: Welcome
Purpose
Receive the person with warmth, calm, and respect.
Sample Language
“Thank you for coming. I know conflict can be heavy. My hope is to listen carefully, pray with you if you would like, and help you discern one faithful next step in Christ.”
My Welcome Language
Write your own version.
Step 2: Role Clarity
Purpose
Explain what Peacefire Ministry offers and does not offer.
Sample Language
“My role is to offer Christian conflict-navigation coaching. I can listen, pray with permission, ask questions, help you use the Peacefire framework, reflect on Scripture, and help you discern a faithful next step. I am not serving as a therapist, attorney, investigator, emergency responder, or formal mediator. If another kind of help is needed, we will talk about appropriate next steps.”
My Role-Clarity Statement
Step 3: Confidentiality With Limits
Purpose
Build trust without promising absolute secrecy.
Sample Language
“What you share will be treated with care and respect. I will not repeat personal details casually. But I cannot promise absolute secrecy. If there is danger, abuse, threats, violence, self-harm, harm to a child or vulnerable person, or something that must be reported by law or ministry policy, I may need to involve appropriate help.”
My Confidentiality-With-Limits Statement
Step 4: Desired Help
Purpose
Ask what kind of support the person is seeking.
Coach Questions
What led you to seek help today?
What kind of support are you hoping for?
Would you like me to mostly listen, ask questions, help you think through next steps, or share biblical guidance when appropriate?
My Additional Desired-Help Questions
Step 5: Story Listening
Purpose
Hear before interpreting.
Coach Questions
What happened?
When did this begin?
What was said or done?
How has this affected you?
What feels most painful, confusing, or urgent right now?
Listening Reminder
Do not rush to say:
“You need to forgive.”
“You need to confront them.”
“You need to let it go.”
“You are overreacting.”
“They are clearly wrong.”
Instead, listen for facts, feelings, interpretations, desires, responses, and possible safety concerns.
Step 6: Safety and Power Check
Purpose
Ask what must be asked before recommending next steps.
Sample Language
“Before we talk about next steps, I want to ask a few safety questions. Is there any threat, violence, coercion, stalking, intimidation, sexual misconduct, child harm, elder harm, self-harm, fear of retaliation, or danger if you respond?”
Safety Questions
Is anyone in immediate danger?
Has there been violence, threat, coercion, intimidation, or stalking?
Are children, vulnerable adults, or dependent persons involved?
Is there fear of retaliation?
Is there a power difference that affects safety or freedom?
Does this situation require pastoral oversight, professional referral, mandatory reporting, legal support, emergency help, or another form of outside assistance?
Safety Decision
☐ Continue with ordinary coaching
☐ Pause coaching and seek oversight
☐ Refer to pastoral leadership
☐ Refer to counseling or professional care
☐ Refer to legal or protective support
☐ Follow mandatory reporting policy
☐ Emergency help may be needed
☐ Other: ____________________________________
Step 7: Peacefire Conflict Map
Use this tool to slow the conflict down.
Event
What happened?
What was said or done?
What do you know directly?
What have you heard from others?
Interpretation
What meaning did you attach to the event?
What story did you begin telling yourself?
What did you assume about the other person’s motive?
Is this something you know, something you suspect, or something you fear?
Desire
What did you want, need, fear, or hope for?
What felt threatened?
What did you believe you had to protect?
Has a good desire become a demand?
Response
How did you respond?
What did you say or do?
What did you not say or do?
Who else has been brought into the conflict?
What are you tempted to do next?
Spread
Where has this conflict spread?
☐ Prayer life
☐ Sleep
☐ Body or health
☐ Marriage
☐ Family
☐ Friendship
☐ Church
☐ Ministry team
☐ Workplace
☐ Social media
☐ Leadership trust
☐ Reputation
☐ Emotional life
☐ Relationship with God
☐ Other: ____________________________________
Describe the spread.
Step 8: Fire Discernment
Wildfire
What is spreading harm?
What response would add fuel?
What words, actions, or attitudes are increasing heat?
Peacefire
What would conscious reliance on Christ look like here?
What response would show the fruit of the Spirit?
What would help lower the flame without avoiding truth?
Strangefire
Is there a good goal being pursued through an ungodly method?
Is someone using spiritual language to pressure, control, avoid, accuse, or manipulate?
Is there any attempt to force peace without truth, safety, repentance, or wisdom?
Step 9: Role Discernment
Which role or roles may be present?
☐ The person has taken offense
☐ The person has caused offense
☐ The person has been harmed
☐ The person has harmed another
☐ The person is trying to be an ambassador
☐ The person may be called to intercede
☐ The person is carrying responsibility that is not theirs
☐ The person is avoiding responsibility that is theirs
☐ More information is needed
Coach Questions
What part of this is yours to own before God?
What part is not yours to control?
What responsibility may belong to another person?
Are you being called to confess, confront, forgive, set a boundary, intercede, seek help, or wait?
Step 10: Consent-Based Guidance
Before sharing discernment, Scripture, or a recommendation, ask permission.
Permission Phrases
“Would it be okay if I share what I am noticing?”
“May I offer a Scripture that may help frame this?”
“Would you like a practical next-step recommendation?”
“Would you prefer that I keep asking questions for now?”
“Would it help to think through this using the Peacefire map?”
“Would you be open to considering a boundary or firebreak?”
My Consent Phrase Bank
Write at least six phrases you can use.
Step 11: Next Faithful Step
A Peacefire session should usually end with one clear next step.
Possible Next Steps
☐ Prayer
☐ Lament
☐ Rest before responding
☐ Confession
☐ Apology
☐ Repair preparation
☐ A difficult conversation
☐ A boundary
☐ A firebreak
☐ Stop gossip or triangulation
☐ Follow-up session
☐ Pastoral meeting
☐ Counseling referral
☐ Legal or protective referral
☐ Safety plan
☐ Waiting period before responding
☐ Bible study or course pathway
☐ Other: ____________________________________
My Next Faithful Step Question
Write the question you will commonly use to help the person choose one step.
Client’s Chosen Next Step
Is the Next Step Specific?
☐ Yes
☐ No
Is the Next Step Safe?
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Needs consultation
Is the Next Step Within the Person’s Responsibility?
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Needs clarification
Step 12: Close, Pray, Document, and Follow Up
Closing Summary Template
“Here is what I heard today. The conflict began with __________. The meaning you attached to it was __________. The desire underneath it seems to be __________. The response you are tempted toward is __________. We noticed that the conflict has spread into __________. The next faithful step you chose is __________. We also agreed that __________ may be needed for safety, referral, or follow-up.”
My Closing Summary Language
Prayer by Permission
Ask:
“Would you like me to pray as we close?”
Follow-Up Plan
Will there be a follow-up session?
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Maybe
Date or timing:
Purpose of follow-up:
Documentation Reminder
Keep notes brief, factual, careful, and secure according to ministry policy.
Note:
Date: ______________________
Person present: _________________________________________________
General presenting issue:
Safety concerns asked and noted:
Next faithful step:
Referral or follow-up plan:
8. Coach Question Bank
Use these questions as a ministry tool. Add your own as your practice develops.
Welcome and Care Questions
What led you to seek help today?
What kind of support would be most helpful right now?
Would you like me to mostly listen, ask questions, or help you think through next steps?
Would prayer be welcome before we begin?
What feels heaviest right now?
Event Questions
What happened?
What was said or done?
When did this begin?
Who was present?
What do you know directly?
What have you heard from someone else?
What details are clear, and what details are uncertain?
Interpretation Questions
What did that moment mean to you?
What story did you begin telling yourself?
What did you assume about the other person’s motive?
What evidence supports that interpretation?
What evidence might complicate that interpretation?
Is this something you know, suspect, or fear?
Is there another possible explanation?
Desire Questions
What did you want in that moment?
What felt threatened?
What were you afraid of losing?
What did you believe you needed in order to be okay?
Was the desire itself good?
Has that desire become a demand?
What desire may need to be surrendered to Christ?
Response Questions
How did you respond?
What did you say?
What did you not say?
What have you done since then?
Who else has been brought into the conflict?
What are you tempted to do next?
What would add fuel?
What would lower the flame?
Spread Questions
Where has this conflict spread?
How has it affected your prayer life?
How has it affected your sleep or body?
How has it affected your family, church, ministry, or work?
Who else has been pulled in?
What might happen if this continues spreading?
What firebreak might be needed?
Wildfire Questions
What is spreading harm here?
What response would feed the Wildfire?
Where do you notice anger, fear, pride, shame, control, gossip, revenge, or accusation?
What part of this conflict is producing more heat than light?
What would happen if you acted from this place?
Peacefire Questions
What would returning to Christ look like right now?
What would reliance on Christ look like before you respond?
What fruit of the Spirit is most needed here?
What would truth spoken in love sound like?
What would humility require?
What would courage require?
What would love require?
What is one faithful step that does not depend on the other person changing?
Strangefire Questions
Is there a good goal being pursued through an unhealthy method?
Are you trying to get peace through pressure?
Are you trying to get truth through accusation?
Are you trying to get justice through revenge?
Are you trying to get unity through silence?
Are you using spiritual language to avoid something God may be asking you to face?
Role Discernment Questions
Have you taken offense, caused offense, or both?
Have you been harmed?
Have you harmed another person?
What part of this belongs to you before God?
What part does not belong to you?
Are you trying to carry responsibility for someone else?
Are you avoiding responsibility that is yours?
Are you called to confess, confront, forgive, set a boundary, intercede, seek help, or wait?
Safety and Referral Questions
Is anyone in danger?
Has there been violence, threat, coercion, intimidation, stalking, or retaliation?
Are children, vulnerable adults, or dependent persons involved?
Is there abuse, exploitation, sexual misconduct, or criminal behavior?
Do you feel safe responding to this person?
Would meeting privately increase danger or pressure?
Who else needs to know for safety, care, or accountability?
What kind of outside support may be needed?
Next Faithful Step Questions
What is one faithful step you can take in Christ?
What should you not do yet?
What needs prayer before action?
What needs confession?
What needs a boundary?
What needs outside help?
What needs more time?
What is specific, safe, and within your responsibility?
9. Final Portfolio Assignment
Create a polished version of your Peacefire Session Map and Coach Question Bank for your final Peacefire Ministry Practice portfolio.
Your finished tool should include:
☐ Welcome language
☐ Role-clarity statement
☐ Confidentiality-with-limits statement
☐ Desired-help questions
☐ Story-listening questions
☐ Safety and power check
☐ Event → Interpretation → Desire → Response → Spread map
☐ Wildfire, Peacefire, and Strangefire discernment questions
☐ Role-discernment questions
☐ Consent-based guidance phrases
☐ Next faithful step questions
☐ Closing summary template
☐ Follow-up and documentation prompts
My Portfolio Completion Plan
What will I revise before adding this to my final portfolio?
When will I complete the polished version?
Who can review it for clarity, safety, and role boundaries?
10. Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus,
Make me a minister who helps people return to You. Keep me from rushing, controlling, judging motives, or feeding the Wildfire. Teach me to ask wise questions, honor consent, notice safety concerns, and guide people toward one faithful next step. Let my Peacefire Ministry Practice be humble, clear, safe, and rooted in Your presence.
Amen.