Worksheet 3.4 — Discerning the Lord’s Purpose and Practicing Accountable Presence

Topic 3 Worksheet

The Lord’s Purpose, the Minister’s Presence, and Accountable Oversight

Purpose of This Worksheet

This worksheet helps you apply Topic 3 to your own Peacefire Ministry Practice. You will reflect on how God may work redemptively in conflict without calling harm good, how you personally respond when helping people in conflict, and how accountable oversight protects both the person being helped and the minister.

Peacefire Ministry helps people return to Christ, discern the next faithful step, and receive the right kind of help within proper role clarity, consent, referral, and accountability.

Part 1 — Seeing God’s Purpose Without Minimizing Harm

Read the statement below:

“God can work redemptively in conflict, but that does not mean we call harm good.”

Reflection Questions

1. Why is this statement important in Peacefire Ministry?

Your response:

2. What could go wrong if a minister says “God has a purpose” too quickly to someone who has been hurt?

Your response:

3. How does Joseph’s statement in Genesis 50:20 help Christians hold together moral clarity and redemptive hope?

Your response:

4. How does the cross of Christ help us understand that God can bring redemption without approving evil?

Your response:

Part 2 — Naming Harm Truthfully

In Peacefire Ministry, the practitioner must not spiritualize harm, excuse sin, or pressure quick reconciliation.

Mark each statement as Wise or Unwise.

1. “What happened to you matters, and we do not need to call it good in order to trust God.”
   Wise / Unwise

2. “You just need to forgive and move on. God allowed this for a reason.”
   Wise / Unwise

3. “Before we talk about reconciliation, we should ask whether there are safety concerns.”
   Wise / Unwise

4. “If you really trusted God, you would not need boundaries.”
   Wise / Unwise

5. “God may be inviting you to courage, lament, repentance, boundaries, or referral.”
   Wise / Unwise

Briefly explain one of your answers.

Your response:

Part 3 — The Minister’s Inner Life

Conflict ministry does not only reveal the heart of the person seeking help. It can also reveal the heart of the minister.

Check any reactions you may be tempted toward when someone brings you a painful conflict.

• ___ I want to fix the situation quickly.

• ___ I want to contact the other person right away.

• ___ I feel pressure to know the answer.

• ___ I become angry after hearing one side.

• ___ I feel needed and important.

• ___ I become defensive when someone questions my approach.

• ___ I avoid referral because it feels like failure.

• ___ I want the person to feel better immediately.

• ___ I feel anxious when conflict remains unresolved.

• ___ I am tempted to use Scripture too quickly instead of listening first.

Reflection

Which two reactions above are most important for you to watch in yourself?

Why?

Your response:

Part 4 — Wildfire in the Minister

Wildfire can appear in the person being helped, but it can also appear in the Peacefire Coach Minister.

Complete the chart.

Part 5 — Strangefire in Conflict Ministry

Strangefire happens when a godly goal is pursued in an unwise, unclear, fleshly, or unaccountable way.

For each example, identify the godly goal and the unwise method.

Example 1

A minister wants reconciliation, so he pressures a wounded person to meet privately with the person who hurt them.

Godly goal:

Unwise method:

Example 2

A minister wants truth, so she contacts the accused person without clear permission from the person who shared the concern.

Godly goal:

Unwise method:

Example 3

A minister wants to use Scripture, so he quotes Bible verses before listening to the person’s pain.

Godly goal:

Unwise method:

Example 4

A minister wants to protect confidentiality, so she promises secrecy even though safety concerns may be present.

Godly goal:

Unwise method:

Part 6 — Presence Before Intervention

James 1:19 says:

“So, then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
James 1:19, WEB

Practice Response

A person says to you:

“My church leader embarrassed me in front of everyone. I am so angry. I want to send a message tonight and tell him exactly what I think.”

Write a Peacefire response that is:

• Swift to hear

• Slow to speak

• Slow to anger

• Clear about not rushing action

Your response:

Part 7 — Consent Language Practice

Consent protects the person being helped and keeps the minister humble.

Rewrite each statement using consent-based language.

1. “Let me pray for you.”

Consent-based version:

2. “You need to confront him.”

Consent-based version:

3. “I’m going to call your pastor.”

Consent-based version:

4. “You should tell me exactly what happened.”

Consent-based version:

5. “We need to bring your spouse into this conversation.”

Consent-based version:

Part 8 — Safety and Power-Difference Questions

Before encouraging reconciliation, confrontation, or a joint meeting, a Peacefire Coach Minister should ask careful safety and power-difference questions.

Write five questions you could ask when someone seems afraid of the other person involved.

Reflection

Why is fear an important signal in conflict ministry?

Your response:

Part 9 — Oversight and Referral Discernment

A Peacefire Ministry Practice should not function as a hidden, private, unaccountable ministry. Oversight and referral are acts of faithfulness.

Mark each situation with the best next step.

Use one of the following:

• Continue Peacefire coaching

• Consult oversight

• Refer to licensed counseling

• Refer to legal help

• Contact emergency support

• Follow mandatory reporting policy

• Refer to pastoral/church leadership

1. A person wants help preparing for a calm conversation with a friend after a misunderstanding.
   Best next step:

2. A person says their spouse controls their phone, money, and relationships and becomes furious when they ask for help.
   Best next step:

3. A person says they are thinking about harming themselves tonight.
   Best next step:

4. A church volunteer says a ministry leader is using authority to pressure them spiritually and socially.
   Best next step:

5. A person wants advice about divorce papers, custody, or legal rights.
   Best next step:

6. A person reports possible abuse or harm involving a child, elder, or vulnerable person.
   Best next step:

7. A married couple wants communication coaching and there are no safety concerns.
   Best next step:

Part 10 — Receiving Correction

A Peacefire Coach Minister must be correctable.

Imagine a pastor, elder, supervisor, or mentor says to you:

“I appreciate your care, but you moved too quickly. You gave advice before you understood the situation, and you did not clarify your role.”

Write your first defensive response.

Your response:

Now write a teachable Peacefire response.

Your response:

What would gratitude sound like in this moment?

Your response:

Part 11 — Repairing a Ministry Mistake

Suppose you realize that you contacted someone without clear permission and made the situation worse.

Write a brief apology that includes:

• Ownership

• No excuses

• Concern for the person

• Commitment to proper oversight or process

Your apology:

Part 12 — Personal Practice Plan

Write a short plan for how you will strengthen your Peacefire Ministry Practice in Topic 3 areas.

1. Prayer

How will you pray before or after Peacefire conversations?

Your response:

2. Role Clarity

What sentence will you use to explain your role?

Your response:

3. Consent

What consent question will you practice using?

Your response:

4. Safety

What safety question will you remember to ask?

Your response:

5. Oversight

Who could provide appropriate oversight, accountability, or supervision for your Peacefire Ministry Practice?

Your response:

6. Referral

What referral pathways do you need to identify before your practice grows?

Your response:

Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus,
teach me to see Your presence in conflict without calling harm good.
Make me slow to speak, quick to listen, and humble in my responses.
Keep me from needing to be the hero.
Help me honor consent, notice danger, respect proper oversight, and refer wisely.
When I am corrected, make me teachable.
When I make mistakes, give me courage to repair them.
Let my Peacefire Ministry Practice reflect Your truth, grace, wisdom, and love.
Amen.