🎥 Video 5B: Care Without Victim-Blaming

Hi, I am Haley Steiner, a CLI presenter.

This course is taught by Professor Brian DeCook.

In Peacefire Ministry, we learn to care for wounded people without victim-blaming.

When someone shares a painful conflict, our first instinct may be to fix it quickly, explain both sides, or move straight to forgiveness. But wounded people often need care before correction.

A Peacefire Coach Minister listens before offering solutions. We do not minimize pain, cross-examine the person, or rush to explain what happened.

Instead, we might simply say:

"I'm sorry this has been so painful. I want to understand what happened. Would you like me to mostly listen first?"

That question communicates compassion, protects consent, and slows the conversation enough for genuine care.

Good care also includes recognizing that not every conflict is the same.

Some situations involve misunderstanding. Others involve abuse, coercion, intimidation, violence, or serious danger. In those cases, the next faithful step may not be reconciliation. It may be safety, healthy boundaries, wise counsel, reporting, or creating a firebreak.

Peacefire Ministry never pressures unsafe access.

Forgiveness is not pretending the harm never happened. It is not immediate trust, removing consequences, or remaining in danger.

A minister can encourage forgiveness while also supporting healthy boundaries.

Our questions matter.

Rather than asking, "What did you do to make them act that way?" we ask, "How has this affected you?"

Rather than asking, "Are you ready to forgive?" we ask, "What would it look like to bring this pain honestly before God?"

Rather than saying, "You need to meet with them," we ask, "Would contact be wise, safe, and appropriate right now?"

These questions help restore agency without assigning blame.

Agency means the wounded person still has a faithful next step before God. That step may be prayer, lament, seeking wise counsel, establishing boundaries, reporting abuse, waiting, or beginning the process of forgiveness.

Our calling is not to force an outcome.

Our calling is to help people return to Christ, tell the truth, resist Wildfire, receive His care, and discern their next faithful step.

That is care without victim-blaming.

Last modified: Tuesday, June 30, 2026, 7:12 AM