Video Transcript: Which Role Is the Person In?

🎥 Video 6A: Which Role Is the Person In?

Hi, I am Haley Steiner, a CLI presenter.

This course is taught by Professor Brian DeCook.

In Peacefire Ministry, one of the first questions we ask is not, “Who is right?”

A better first question is, “What role is this person in?”

Conflict becomes confusing when people do not know their role. Someone may come to a Peacefire Coach Minister angry, wounded, defensive, afraid, or eager to fix the situation. But before we offer guidance, we need to discern carefully.

There are several possible roles in conflict.

A person may be the offended person. They were hurt, dismissed, betrayed, ignored, mocked, manipulated, or harmed. They may need care, lament, safety, boundaries, forgiveness guidance, or help preparing a wise next step.

A person may be the offender. They caused harm. They may need to confess, repent, make restitution, accept consequences, seek forgiveness, and rebuild trust over time.

A person may be both. Many conflicts are tangled. A person may have been genuinely hurt and also responded with Wildfire. They may have been wronged and then spread the fire through gossip, revenge, contempt, or avoidance.

A person may be an ambassador. They may be trying to help two other people move toward truth and peace. But ambassadors must know their limits. They are not investigators, judges, rescuers, therapists, or secret messengers.

A person may be an intercessor. They may not be called to intervene directly, but they may be called to pray, seek God, and support peace without controlling the outcome.

Role confusion creates Wildfire.

An offended person may try to become judge and jury.
An offender may pretend to be the victim.
An ambassador may become a gossip carrier.
An intercessor may become a manipulator.
A helper may try to fix what belongs to God, leaders, professionals, or legal authorities.

Jesus teaches us to begin with humility. In Matthew 7, He tells us to notice the beam in our own eye before helping with the speck in another person’s eye. That does not mean all wrongdoing is equal. It does mean we must approach conflict with self-examination.

In Matthew 5, Jesus says that if you remember your brother has something against you, go and be reconciled. That is the offender’s responsibility.

In Matthew 18, Jesus gives a pathway for addressing sin when someone has sinned against another. That is often connected to the offended person’s responsibility, though it must be applied wisely and safely.

A Peacefire Coach Minister helps the person ask:

“What role am I in?”
“What belongs to me?”
“What does not belong to me?”
“What would humility require?”
“What would love require?”
“What would safety require?”
“What is one faithful next step?”

This is not about assigning labels quickly. It is about helping the person stand before Christ truthfully.

When roles become clear, the next step often becomes clearer too.