Video Transcript: The First Peacefire Coaching Session

🎥 Video 6B: The First Peacefire Coaching Session

Hi, I am Haley Steiner, a CLI presenter.

This course is taught by Professor Brian DeCook.

A Peacefire Ministry Practice needs a clear first-session pathway.

The first session sets the tone for the entire ministry relationship. It tells the person, “You are welcome here, and this ministry has boundaries. We will listen with care, and we will be honest about what this ministry is and is not.”

A first Peacefire coaching session should begin with welcome.

The Peacefire Coach Minister receives the person warmly. The minister may say, “I’m glad you came. We will move slowly and carefully.”

Then the minister asks permission before prayer.

“Would it be okay if I begin with a short prayer for wisdom and peace?”

Consent matters. Prayer should never be used as pressure.

Next comes role clarity.

The minister explains, “This is Christian conflict-navigation coaching and formation support. I am here to listen, ask questions, pray with permission, help you discern your next faithful step, and point you toward appropriate support when needed. I am not serving as a licensed counselor, attorney, investigator, emergency responder, or formal mediator.”

That clarity protects the person and the minister.

Then the minister explains confidentiality with limits.

The minister may say, “I will treat what you share with care. But I cannot promise absolute secrecy if there is danger, abuse, threats, harm to self or others, child abuse, elder abuse, vulnerable-person risk, or anything that must be reported by law or ministry policy.”

That sentence may feel uncomfortable, but it is necessary. False promises create danger.

After that, the minister asks what kind of help the person wants.

“Would you like me mostly to listen today?”
“Are you asking for prayer?”
“Do you want help preparing for a conversation?”
“Are you trying to decide whether a boundary is needed?”
“Are you looking for next steps?”

Then the minister listens to the story without rushing to decide who is right.

The minister may use the Peacefire map:

Event. What happened?
Interpretation. What meaning did you attach to it?
Desire. What did you want, fear, protect, or demand?
Response. What did you do or want to do?
Spread. Where has the conflict gone since then?

The first session must also include a safety and power check. The minister asks about threats, coercion, abuse, violence, stalking, intimidation, sexual misconduct, child or elder abuse, self-harm, harm to others, or urgent danger.

Then, with permission, the minister helps discern one faithful next step.

That step may be prayer, lament, confession, repair preparation, forgiveness reflection, a boundary, a firebreak, pastoral care, professional referral, documentation, or simply waiting before acting.

The first session should end with a clear summary.

“What I hear is this. Your next step is this. We will follow up in this way.”

A good first session does not solve everything.

It creates safety, clarity, consent, and a faithful beginning.