Worksheet 1.4 — Starting Point, Support Circle, and Recovery Covenant

Course: Divorce Recovery Growth Course
Topic 1: Beginning With Grace, Safety, and a Recovery Covenant
Purpose: To help you begin honestly, identify support, notice urgent needs, and make a simple recovery covenant for this course journey.

Privacy Reminder: This worksheet is private by default. You are not required to upload it, show it to a leader, or share details you prefer to keep private. You may choose to share selected insights in a ministry conversation.

1. Pause and Pray

Before writing, take a slow breath.

You do not have to solve everything today.
You do not have to tell your whole story.
You do not have to perform strength.
You are invited to begin where you are.

Opening Prayer

Lord Jesus, meet me in truth and mercy. Help me slow down. Help me notice what is happening in my life without shame, denial, or fear. Give me wisdom to seek the right kind of help, courage to take one faithful step, and grace to remember that I am not alone. Amen.

Grounding Question

Right now, I feel mostly:

• Shocked

• Sad

• Angry

• Relieved

• Guilty

• Afraid

• Numb

• Confused

• Exhausted

• Hopeful

• Something else: ___________________________

One sentence that describes where I am beginning this course:

2. Notice and Name

A. My Present Transition

What brought me to this course?

What has changed in my life because of separation, divorce, or post-divorce rebuilding?

What feels most unsettled right now?

B. Layered Loss Check

Divorce may involve more than the end of a marriage. Check any areas that feel disrupted.

• Daily companionship

• Home or housing

• Parenting time

• Children’s routines

• Finances

• Work focus

• Sleep

• Physical health

• Church belonging

• Friendships

• Former in-laws

• Holidays or traditions

• Confidence

• Identity

• Trust

• Future plans

• Spiritual peace

• Legal or administrative responsibilities

• Something else: ___________________________

The loss or disruption I feel most today is:

Why does this feel heavy?

C. What I Am Carrying

What burden feels too heavy to carry alone right now?

What have I been trying to handle by myself?

What am I afraid might happen if I ask for help?

3. Safety, Stability, and Support

A. Safety Check

This course is not emergency help, legal advice, counseling, medical care, financial advising, or domestic-violence intervention.

Check any concern that needs immediate or qualified help:

• I am in immediate danger.

• I am being threatened, stalked, controlled, or intimidated.

• I am afraid for my children or a vulnerable person.

• There is violence, abuse, coercion, or sexual misconduct.

• I have thoughts of harming myself.

• I have thoughts of harming someone else.

• There is a medical or psychiatric emergency.

• Substance use is creating danger.

• A court order or safety plan is being violated.

• I need urgent legal, housing, food, or financial help.

• None of these apply right now.

• I am not sure.

If any urgent concern is present, pause this worksheet and seek appropriate emergency, legal, pastoral, professional, or safeguarding help.

One safety or stability concern I should not ignore is:

B. Stability Check

How stable are these areas right now?

The area that most needs attention this week is:

One realistic support request I could make is:

4. My Support Circle

A support circle includes different people for different needs. One person should not have to carry everything.

Spiritual Support

People who can pray, listen, encourage, offer Scripture wisely, and help me stay connected to Christ.

Name or resource:

How this person or resource may help:

Practical Support

People who can help with meals, transportation, child care, errands, housing needs, paperwork, or daily responsibilities.

Name or resource:

How this person or resource may help:

Professional Support

Qualified helpers such as counselor, attorney, physician, financial adviser, domestic-violence advocate, pastor, or other trained professional.

Name or resource:

What question or need belongs with this person:

Safe Community Support

A church, Soul Center, group, friend circle, or trusted setting where I can experience belonging without pressure.

Name or resource:

What kind of connection would help:

People Who May Not Be Safe or Helpful Right Now

Some people may mean well but increase confusion, pressure, fear, shame, conflict, or unsafe contact.

People or settings I may need boundaries with:

A boundary I may need around sharing my story:

5. Discern and Choose

A. What Kind of Help Do I Want?

In a ministry conversation, I would most appreciate:

• Mostly listening

• Prayer

• Scripture reflection

• Help naming grief

• Help identifying one next step

• Help building support

• Help with boundaries

• Help finding a professional referral

• Help staying connected to church or community

• I am not sure yet

Something I do not want to discuss right now:

Something I may be willing to discuss later:

B. What Belongs to Me Today?

What is one responsibility that truly belongs to me this week?

What is something I am carrying that may not belong to me?

What belongs to a pastor, counselor, attorney, doctor, advocate, financial adviser, court, or other qualified helper?

What do I need to entrust to God today?

6. My Recovery Covenant

A recovery covenant is not a promise to feel better quickly. It is a simple commitment to walk this course with honesty, grace, wisdom, and support.

Read the statements below. Check the ones you are willing to affirm.

• I will begin where I am, not where I think I should be.

• I will tell the truth without forcing myself to share everything with everyone.

• I will seek the right kind of help when a need exceeds this course.

• I will not use this course to attack, diagnose, or prosecute another person.

• I will not pressure myself toward quick healing, dating, remarriage, or reconciliation.

• I will pay attention to safety, children, court orders, and wise boundaries.

• I will allow grief to be real without letting grief become my only identity.

• I will receive grace in Christ while also owning what is truly mine.

• I will take one faithful step at a time.

• I will remember that my story is not finished.

My personal recovery covenant:

With God’s help, I commit to walk this recovery journey with:

Truth: ___________________________________________________________

Grace: ___________________________________________________________

Wisdom: _________________________________________________________

Support: _________________________________________________________

Hope: ___________________________________________________________

Signature or initials, if desired: _______________________

Date: _______________________

7. One Faithful Step

A faithful step is small enough to do and important enough to matter.

This week, my one faithful step is:

When I will do it:

Who or what can support me:

What might get in the way:

How I can prepare:

8. Optional Ministry Conversation Preparation

You may bring these notes to a trusted minister, chaplain, life coach, pastor, counselor, group leader, or support person. You do not have to share the whole worksheet.

One thing that stayed with me from Topic 1:

One thing that feels difficult:

One kind of support I would like:

One thing I prefer to keep private:

A prayer request I may choose to share:

Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus, thank You for meeting me at the beginning of this journey. Give me courage to tell the truth, humility to seek help, wisdom to recognize what belongs to me, and peace to entrust what I cannot control to You. Surround me with safe, wise, and faithful support. Help me take one faithful step this week. Amen.