Video 5C: Repair, Amends, and What Must Be Entrusted to God

Hi, I am Haley Steiner, a CLI presenter.

This course is taught by Rev. Henry Reyenga and Attorney/Pastor Brian DeCook.

In this video, we are talking about repair, amends, and what must be entrusted to God.

When you recognize something that truly belongs to you, the next question may be, “What should I do with it?”

Sometimes the answer is confession before God.

First John 1:9 says that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and righteous to forgive us and cleanse us.

Confession means telling the truth before God. It is not making excuses. It is not exaggerating. It is not punishing yourself. It is agreeing with God about what is real and receiving mercy from Christ.

Sometimes responsibility also calls for repair.

Repair may mean apologizing.
It may mean changing a pattern.
It may mean seeking counsel.
It may mean becoming more truthful with money.
It may mean learning healthier communication.
It may mean showing up more consistently for children.
It may mean making restitution when that is appropriate and possible.

But repair must be wise.

Not every apology should become immediate contact. Not every confession should be sent as a message. Not every amends conversation is safe, timely, or helpful.

If there has been abuse, coercion, stalking, threats, violence, a court order, child safety concern, or professional guidance limiting contact, do not use this course to create unsafe communication.

A repair step should not increase danger. It should not violate legal instructions. It should not manipulate another person. It should not force someone else to respond, forgive, reconcile, or give you access.

Sometimes the most faithful repair begins quietly.

You may repair by telling the truth to God.
You may repair by changing how you speak to your children.
You may repair by meeting with a pastor, counselor, attorney, or mentor.
You may repair by stopping a harmful habit.
You may repair by becoming dependable in the responsibilities still entrusted to you.

There are also things you must entrust to God.

You cannot make another person repent.

You cannot force reconciliation.

You cannot rewrite the past.

You cannot control what someone says about you.

You cannot heal every consequence in one moment.

You cannot make every person understand.

Entrusting something to God does not mean you stop caring. It means you stop pretending you are God.

Romans 12 reminds us not to take revenge, but to leave room for God’s justice. That is not passivity. It is surrender. You can pursue truth, safety, wisdom, boundaries, and appropriate help while still releasing final outcomes to God.

In divorce recovery, maturity often sounds like this:

“This is mine, and I will own it.”
“That is not mine, and I will release it.”
“This needs professional help, and I will seek it.”
“This belongs to God, and I will entrust it to Him.”

Your reflection question is:

What is one repair step that may be faithful, safe, and appropriate in this season?

Your gentle next step is to write that step down, then ask: “Do I need counsel before I act?”


Last modified: Monday, June 22, 2026, 12:10 PM