Worksheet 12.4: Integration, Ninety-Day Rule of Life, and Support Plan

Private by default: This worksheet is for your reflection. You do not need to upload it or share it unless you choose to share selected insights with a trusted pastor, counselor, minister, chaplain, life coach, mentor, or support person.

This worksheet helps you gather what you have learned and carry it into the next ninety days. The goal is not to prove that you are fully healed. The goal is to walk forward with truth, grace, wisdom, support, and hope in Christ.

1. Pause and Pray

Before you begin, take a slow breath.

You are not trying to solve the rest of your life today. You are asking God to help you recognize growth, name what still needs care, and choose a faithful rhythm for the next season.

Opening Prayer

Lord Jesus,
thank You for walking with me through grief, loss, rebuilding, and hope.
Help me tell the truth without despair.
Help me receive grace without pretending.
Help me practice wisdom without panic.
Guide my next ninety days with Your presence, Your people, and Your peace.
Amen.

Grounding Question

Right now, as I think about finishing this course, I feel:

One thing I am grateful for is:

One thing that still feels tender or unfinished is:

2. Notice and Name: What Growth Can I Recognize?

This course has not promised a complete cure, a fixed timeline, or a guaranteed outcome. Still, growth matters. Name what has changed, even if the change feels small.

Areas Where I Have Grown

Check any that apply.

___ I can name my grief more honestly.
___ I understand layered loss more clearly.
___ I have a better support plan.
___ I know when I need professional or pastoral help.
___ I can practice lament without pretending.
___ I am learning to ground my identity in Christ.
___ I can distinguish responsibility from shame or false guilt.
___ I understand forgiveness, trust, access, consequences, and safety more clearly.
___ I have clearer boundaries.
___ I can communicate more briefly and wisely.
___ I am more child-conscious or family-conscious.
___ I have begun rebuilding daily life one domain at a time.
___ I have taken a step toward healthy community.
___ I can approach future relationships with more patience and wisdom.
___ I have a clearer sense of hope for the next season.
___ Other: ________________________________________________

My Growth Statement

One way I have grown during this course is:

One truth I want to carry forward is:

One grace I need to keep receiving is:

3. Integration Review: What Have I Learned?

Use this section to gather the major themes of your recovery journey.

Grief and Loss

The loss I can name more clearly now is:

A grief trigger or anniversary I need to plan for is:

Identity in Christ

A false or incomplete label I am learning to release is:

A truth about who I am in Christ is:

Responsibility and Grace

Something that belongs to my responsibility is:

Something that does not belong to me to carry is:

Something I need to entrust to God is:

Forgiveness, Trust, and Boundaries

A distinction I need to remember is:

A boundary I need to continue practicing is:

Children, Family, or Community

A child-conscious, family-conscious, or community-conscious step I need to continue is:

Daily Rebuilding

One life domain that needs continued attention is:

One practical rhythm that would help is:

Future Relationships

One question about singleness, dating, sexual integrity, or remarriage that needs wisdom is:

A person I could ask for pastoral or wise guidance is:

4. My Ninety-Day Recovery Rule of Life

A Recovery Rule of Life is a simple rhythm for continued growth. It is not a performance plan. It is a realistic structure for prayer, rest, responsibilities, support, boundaries, community, and review.

Choose practices that are specific enough to guide you and gentle enough to actually keep.

Prayer and Scripture Rhythm

For the next ninety days, my prayer or Scripture rhythm will be:

When I will practice it:

Rest and Body Care Rhythm

For the next ninety days, one body-care or rest practice will be:

When I will practice it:

Boundary Rhythm

One boundary I will continue practicing is:

What this boundary protects:

Who needs to know or support this boundary:

Responsibility Rhythm

One practical responsibility I will give steady attention to is:

My next action is:

When I will do it:

Community Rhythm

One healthy community connection I will practice is:

When or how I will take this step:

Purpose Rhythm

One small purpose, service, work, family, or contribution step that fits this season is:

A wise limit I need to keep is:

Review Rhythm

I will review this plan:

___ weekly
___ every two weeks
___ monthly
___ with a trusted person
___ with a pastor, counselor, chaplain, life coach, or mentor
___ other: ________________________________________________

My first review date will be:

5. Support and Referral Plan

You do not need one person to carry everything. Different needs may require different kinds of support.

My Support Team

One support relationship I need to strengthen is:

One professional or pastoral contact I may need to make is:

When I will reach out:

6. Warning Signs: When I Will Seek More Help

Hope does not mean handling everything alone. Write clear warning signs that tell you to seek support early.

I Will Seek Help If:

___ I feel unsafe.
___ I experience threats, stalking, coercion, violence, or intimidation.
___ I have thoughts of self-harm or harm to others.
___ I am tempted to violate a court order or safety plan.
___ A child or vulnerable person may be at risk.
___ My grief becomes overwhelming or daily functioning declines.
___ I stop sleeping for several nights or my health worsens.
___ Substance use, medication misuse, or harmful coping becomes dangerous.
___ Legal, financial, housing, or medical concerns become urgent.
___ I isolate and stop contacting trusted support.
___ I feel pressured into unsafe reconciliation, contact, dating, or remarriage decisions.
___ A future relationship becomes secretive, pressured, or boundary-crossing.
___ Other: ________________________________________________

My Help Plan

If I notice these signs, I will contact:

A second support option is:

An emergency or crisis option is:

7. Dates, Events, and Grief-Wave Plan

Some dates or reminders may still hurt. A faithful plan can help you grieve without letting grief make every decision.

Dates or Events That May Need a Plan

Examples: anniversary, holidays, court dates, birthdays, children’s events, church events, family gatherings, moving dates, financial deadlines.

A date or event I need to plan for is:

What this date or event may stir up:

What I will not decide impulsively during that grief wave:

What support I will use:

What prayer, Scripture, or grounding practice may help:

One wise action I can take before that date is:

8. One Faithful Step for the Next Seven Days

A ninety-day plan begins with one faithful step.

This week, my one faithful step is:

I will do it on this day and time:

The support I need is:

The boundary I need to remember is:

The prayer I need to pray is:

One thing I need to entrust to Christ is:

9. My Ninety-Day Hope Statement

Write a short statement of hope for the next season. Be honest. Do not pretend the pain is gone. Name the direction you want to walk with Christ.

Hope Statement

With God’s help, in the next ninety days I want to:

I will keep telling the truth by:

I will keep receiving grace by:

I will keep building stability by:

I will keep practicing wisdom by:

I will keep walking in hope by:

10. Safety and Scope Reminder

This course does not certify that you are fully healed, ready to date, ready to remarry, safe to reconcile, or finished with grief. It does not provide counseling, legal advice, custody advice, medical care, financial advice, crisis response, or a pastoral ruling about divorce or remarriage.

Seek appropriate help if there is danger, coercion, stalking, threats, violence, child safety concern, self-harm concern, harm-to-others concern, substance-impaired danger, medical crisis, violation of a court order, urgent legal matter, or any issue requiring professional or emergency support.

Seeking more help is not failure. It is wisdom.

11. Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus,
thank You for every truthful step, every grace received, every boundary practiced, every support given, and every sign of hope.
Guide my next ninety days.
Help me stay connected to You, seek wise support, protect what needs protecting, and continue rebuilding with patience.
Give me courage for grief, humility for responsibility, strength for boundaries, wisdom for future relationships, and hope for the road ahead.
Amen.