Video 2A: What Is Agape Love?

Hi, I am Haley Steiner, a CLI presenter.

This course is taught by Rev. Henry Reyenga and Attorney/Pastor Brian DeCook.

Welcome to Topic 2: Agape Love — Loving God, Yourself, and Others.

People skill confidence is not just about learning what to say. It is about learning how to love.

In this course, we define love as agape love.

Agape love is Christ-shaped love that seeks the true good of another person before God.

Agape love is patient, kind, truthful, wise, humble, courageous, respectful, and faithful.

Agape love is not people-pleasing. It is not flattery. It is not fear of disapproval. It is not control. It is not manipulation. It is not trying to make everyone like you. It is not losing yourself in someone else’s emotions.

Agape love asks, “What is truly good before God for this person, for me, for this relationship, and for this situation?”

That question changes how we enter conversations.

When I am driven by approval, I may say whatever keeps the peace.

When I am driven by control, I may push, pressure, correct, or dominate.

When I am driven by fear, I may hide, flatter, withdraw, or agree when I should speak.

But when I am shaped by agape love, I can listen with patience. I can speak with grace and truth. I can ask questions that honor the other person. I can set a boundary without hatred. I can care without pretending. I can be warm without being fake.

Jesus shows us this love.

He welcomed people. He listened. He asked questions. He told the truth. He touched the hurting. He corrected the proud. He forgave sinners. He laid down His life.

His love was not weak. His love was not harsh. His love was holy, truthful, sacrificial, and full of grace.

As an organic human, you are not a machine trying to perform social techniques. You are a God-created person learning to love with your whole life before God.

Your spiritual nature thinks, trusts, worships, hopes, fears, and speaks inwardly.

Your bodily nature participates through your brain, nervous system, tone, posture, facial expression, habits, and spoken words.

So agape love involves your whole person.

It shapes what you think before a conversation.

It shapes how you enter a room.

It shapes your tone.

It shapes your questions.

It shapes your courage.

It shapes your boundaries.

This week, do not begin by asking, “How can I become impressive?”

Ask, “How can I love God and love this person before God?”

Reflection question: Where do you most often confuse love with approval, fear, control, or people-pleasing?

Gentle next step: Before one conversation this week, pause and pray, “Lord Jesus, help me seek the true good of this person before You.”