📝 Worksheet 5.4: Personal Curious Question Bank
Worksheet 5.4 — Personal Curious Question Bank
Purpose
This worksheet helps you build a personal question bank for real conversations. The goal is not to memorize lines or force conversations. The goal is to prepare warm, respectful, curious, and interesting questions that help people feel seen.
Questions shaped by agape love seek the true good of another person before God. They do not pressure, pry, perform, manipulate, flirt, gossip, or control. They invite. They honor. They give room.
Your completed question bank will become part of your private People Skill Confidence Portfolio.
Privacy Reminder
This worksheet is private by default. You are not required to upload it or show it to anyone.
Do not write private details about another person’s trauma, sexual history, family conflict, medical situation, legal matters, workplace complaints, finances, or private communications. Keep your answers general enough to protect both your privacy and the privacy of others.
Movement 1: Pause and Pray
Before building your question bank, pause before God.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, help me see people as organic humans created by You. Teach me to ask with agape love, listen with patience, respect privacy, and welcome others with humility. Free me from pressure and performance. Shape my questions with wisdom, warmth, and truth. Amen.
Grounding Reflection
Complete these sentences privately.
When I enter conversations, I often feel:
One inward sentence I sometimes tell myself is:
That inward sentence affects my body, tone, posture, or confidence by:
A gracious self-conversation sentence I can practice is:
Before I ask questions, I want to remember:
“This person is an organic human created by God, not a social test.”
Write your own version of that sentence:
Movement 2: Notice and Name
Part A: Notice Your Current Question Habits
Check any that describe you.
I usually ask, “How are you?” and then do not know what to ask next.
I talk too much when I feel nervous.
I avoid questions because I do not want to seem nosy.
I ask questions too quickly when silence feels uncomfortable.
I sometimes ask questions that are too personal for the setting.
I forget to ask follow-up questions.
I turn the conversation back to myself too quickly.
I feel pressure to be interesting.
I feel pressure to keep the conversation going.
I am learning to ask with more peace and love.
Other:
Part B: Name the Difference Between Invitation and Pressure
A question that feels like an invitation usually has these qualities:
A question that feels like pressure usually has these qualities:
When someone gives a short answer, I usually:
A wiser response to a short answer might be:
When someone changes the subject, I usually:
A more loving response might be:
Part C: Identify Safe and Wise Boundaries
Some topics require extra wisdom, consent, privacy, or referral support.
Write topics you should not ask about casually:
Examples may include trauma, abuse, sexual history, legal matters, workplace complaints, family conflict, private finances, health details, dating details, or painful grief.
Topics I should avoid asking about casually:
Topics I may discuss only if the person brings them up and the setting is appropriate:
Topics that require pastoral, professional, legal, clinical, or safety support:
A permission-giving sentence I can use is:
Examples:
“You do not have to answer if that feels too personal.”
“We can talk about something else if you prefer.”
“Only share what you feel comfortable sharing.”
“I am glad to listen, but I do not want to push.”
My permission-giving sentence:
Movement 3: Discern and Choose
Part A: Build Your Question Bank
Write several questions for each setting. Keep them warm, natural, respectful, and fitting.
Family Conversations
Questions I can ask family members with love:
What has been encouraging you lately?
What has felt heavy this week?
What would help you feel supported?
What is something we could enjoy together soon?
My additional family questions:
Church or Soul Center Conversations
Questions I can ask in church, ministry, or Soul Center settings:
What encouraged you today?
How did you get connected here?
What has God been teaching you recently?
How can I pray for you this week?
My additional church or Soul Center questions:
Work or Service Conversations
Questions I can ask in work, volunteer, or service settings:
What part of this project needs the most attention?
What would make this clearer?
What has been going well?
What is the next helpful step?
My additional work or service questions:
New Conversations
Questions I can ask when meeting someone new:
How did you get connected here?
Have you been in this area long?
What do you enjoy doing when life is not too full?
What is something good you are looking forward to?
My additional new-conversation questions:
Friendship Conversations
Questions I can ask to grow friendship slowly and respectfully:
What has been bringing you joy lately?
What has been taking most of your attention?
What is something you are learning right now?
What would be a fun or restful thing to do soon?
My additional friendship questions:
Ministry, Chaplaincy, Coaching, or Care Conversations
Questions I can ask when the role and setting make deeper conversation appropriate:
Would you like me mostly to listen, or would you like help thinking through a next step?
What feels most important to name before God today?
What kind of support would be helpful?
Is there someone else who should be included for wisdom or safety?
My additional ministry or care questions:
Part B: Create Follow-Up Questions
A follow-up question shows that you listened.
If someone says, “I have been busy,” I could ask:
If someone says, “This week has been hard,” I could ask:
If someone says, “I am excited about something,” I could ask:
If someone says, “I am trying to make a decision,” I could ask:
If someone says, “I do not really want to talk about it,” I could say:
Part C: Use Agape Love to Discern
Agape love asks, “What is truly good before God for this person, for me, for this relationship, and for this situation?”
Think of one upcoming conversation.
Who is the person or setting?
What would love require in this conversation?
What question might help the person feel seen?
What question might feel too private or pressuring?
What should I avoid saying?
How can I respect the other person’s response?
What support or referral may be needed if serious concerns arise?
Movement 4: One Faithful Step
Choose one question to practice this week.
The question I will practice is:
The setting where I may practice it is:
Before the conversation, I will say this gracious self-conversation sentence:
During the conversation, I will try to:
ask gently
listen without interrupting
notice one detail
ask one follow-up question if appropriate
respect short answers
avoid pressure
avoid turning the conversation back to myself too quickly
respect privacy
leave the outcome with God
After the conversation, I will reflect privately.
Did I ask with agape love?
Did I listen well?
Did I pressure or perform?
Did I respect the person’s privacy?
Did I notice my inward self-conversation?
Did my body, tone, posture, or timing change?
Did I need to repair anything?
What did I learn?
What question would I like to practice next?
Personal Question Bank Summary
Choose your top ten questions from this worksheet.
My Top Ten Curious and Interesting Questions
Portfolio Statement
Complete this statement for your private People Skill Confidence Portfolio.
As an organic human in Christ, I am learning to ask questions with agape love. I do not need to perform, pry, pressure, or control. I can ask with warmth, listen with patience, respect privacy, and seek the true good of others before God. One question I want to practice is:
Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus, thank You for helping me grow in people skill confidence. Teach me to ask curious and interesting questions with humility and love. Shape my inward conversation with grace and truth. Help me honor others as organic humans created by You. Give me wisdom to know when to ask, when to listen, when to stop, when to pray, and when to seek help. Amen.