Video Transcript: Abuse Was Not Your Fault

Video 6A: Abuse Was Not Your Fault

In this video, we begin with a truth that many wounded people need to hear clearly: abuse was not your fault.

Abuse is not simply a difficult relationship or an ordinary disagreement. Abuse involves the misuse of power to harm, control, threaten, exploit, humiliate, violate, or intimidate another person.

The responsibility for that abusive choice belongs to the person who chose it.

People who have been harmed often carry an inner script of false self-blame.

I should have seen it sooner.

I should have stopped it.

Maybe I caused it.

Maybe I deserved it.

Maybe God is disappointed in me because I was afraid, confused, silent, or unable to leave.

These sentences can feel convincing, especially when an abuser repeated them. But repetition does not make a lie true.

You may look back and wish you had responded differently. You may recognize decisions you want to understand or change. That is not the same as accepting blame for another person’s abuse.

You can take responsibility for your present choices without taking responsibility for the harm someone else chose to do.

Scripture repeatedly shows that God sees people who have been mistreated. Hagar called the Lord “a God who sees.” Psalm 34 says that the Lord is near to those who have a broken heart. Jesus welcomed people whose suffering had been ignored, judged, or pushed aside.

God does not require you to rename abuse as love, submission, loyalty, patience, or forgiveness.

He does not ask you to pretend that evil was good.

He invites you to walk in truth.

A Scriptural self-conversation might begin like this:

What happened was real.

The abusive choice belonged to the person who made it.

My fear, confusion, or survival response does not make me guilty for being harmed.

God sees me.

I am not required to carry another person’s shame.

With wise support, I can take one safe and faithful step.

This course will not ask you to describe private abuse details. You do not need to prove your pain by telling your whole story. Your worksheet is private by default. Share only what you freely choose to share with a safe and appropriate person.

If abuse is happening now, or if you or someone else is in immediate danger, prioritize safety. Contact emergency services or qualified local help. Do not confront a dangerous person alone. Seek support from people who understand abuse, safety planning, applicable law, and professional care.

Healing is rarely simple or quick. You may still feel fear, grief, anger, numbness, or confusion. Those reactions do not mean you have failed spiritually.

Your next step does not need to solve everything.

It may simply be telling the truth to yourself:

The abuse was not my fault.

God sees what happened.

I am worthy of truthful, respectful, and safe treatment.

I can receive help without shame.

In Christ, the lie of false self-blame does not have to remain the loudest voice inside you.