📝 Worksheet 1.4: My Starting Forgiveness Inventory
Worksheet 1.4: My Starting Forgiveness Inventory
Private Reflection Worksheet
This worksheet is designed for your private reflection before God. You should not be required to submit personal names, confessions, trauma details, relationship information, or identifying details.
You may use initials, general descriptions, or phrases such as:
a family member
a former friend
a church leader
a person I harmed
a past relationship
an unresolved situation
You may skip any question that feels unsafe or inappropriate.
This course is Christian education and discipleship. It is not counseling, trauma treatment, legal advice, crisis intervention, or domestic-violence assistance. Seek qualified help when a situation involves abuse, violence, criminal conduct, severe trauma, a protection order, self-harm, or immediate danger.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.”
—Ephesians 4:32, WEB
Part 1: What Brings Me to This Course?
Complete any statements that apply.
I am taking this course because:
☐ I want to understand biblical forgiveness more clearly.
☐ I find it difficult to receive God’s forgiveness.
☐ I continue to condemn myself for something in my past.
☐ I need to seek forgiveness from someone I harmed.
☐ I am struggling to forgive someone who harmed me.
☐ I carry anger or bitterness about an unresolved situation.
☐ I am uncertain about forgiveness, trust, and reconciliation.
☐ I need wisdom about boundaries after forgiveness.
☐ I want to help others practice forgiveness without pressuring them.
☐ I want forgiveness to become part of my Christian way of life.
Other:
What do I most hope to understand through this course?
Part 2: My Current Understanding of Forgiveness
Complete these sentences without worrying about finding a perfect answer.
Forgiveness means:
Forgiveness does not mean:
When I hear someone say, “You need to forgive,” I usually feel:
The most difficult part of forgiveness for me is:
One question I have about forgiveness is:
Part 3: Receiving Forgiveness From God
Rate each statement from 0 to 5.
0 means not true of me right now.
5 means strongly true of me right now.
_____ I believe God forgives those who confess their sins and trust in Christ.
_____ I can honestly confess my wrongdoing without making excuses.
_____ I can accept responsibility without believing I am beyond redemption.
_____ I find it difficult to believe that God has truly forgiven me.
_____ I repeatedly punish myself for past sins.
_____ I define myself by one or more failures from my past.
_____ I believe Christ’s grace is greater than my sin.
_____ I understand that forgiveness does not remove every earthly consequence.
Which statement produced the strongest reaction in me?
What might God be inviting me to receive from him?
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
—1 John 1:9, WEB
Part 4: Seeking Forgiveness From Others
Consider whether there is a situation in which you may need to confess wrongdoing or seek forgiveness.
You do not need to record identifying details.
Is there someone I may have harmed through my:
☐ words
☐ actions
☐ dishonesty
☐ neglect
☐ anger
☐ betrayal
☐ misuse of authority
☐ broken promise
☐ refusal to listen
☐ failure to protect
☐ other behavior
The general situation is:
Have I clearly acknowledged what I did?
☐ Yes
☐ Partly
☐ No
☐ I am uncertain
Have I apologized without excuses or blame-shifting?
☐ Yes
☐ Partly
☐ No
☐ An apology would currently be unsafe or inappropriate
Is there any repair, restitution, correction, or changed behavior that may be needed?
What responsibility belongs to me?
What outcome is outside my control?
Part 5: Extending Forgiveness to Others
Think about an offense, wound, betrayal, or unresolved conflict you may be carrying.
Use a general description rather than a person’s name.
The situation I am thinking about is:
What happened that I believe was wrong?
What did I lose or experience because of it?
☐ trust
☐ safety
☐ friendship
☐ opportunity
☐ reputation
☐ money or property
☐ belonging
☐ confidence
☐ peace
☐ another loss:
What responsibility belongs to the other person?
What responsibility belongs to me?
What responsibility does not belong to me?
Part 6: My Whole Organic Human Response
Conflict and unforgiveness can affect the whole person. Consider how this situation may be affecting you.
Thoughts
What thoughts, questions, arguments, or imagined conversations do I repeatedly rehearse?
Emotions
What emotions arise when I remember the situation?
☐ anger
☐ sadness
☐ fear
☐ shame
☐ guilt
☐ grief
☐ confusion
☐ disappointment
☐ numbness
☐ another emotion:
Bodily Responses
What happens in my body when I think about the situation or encounter the person?
☐ muscle tension
☐ racing heart
☐ stomach discomfort
☐ difficulty sleeping
☐ fatigue
☐ restlessness
☐ urge to flee
☐ urge to argue
☐ numbness or disconnection
☐ another response:
Words
How has the situation affected the way I speak?
☐ I repeatedly retell the offense.
☐ I speak harshly about the person.
☐ I avoid saying anything.
☐ I minimize what happened.
☐ I have difficulty speaking truthfully and calmly.
☐ I have spoken in ways I now regret.
Other:
Habits and Decisions
Has the situation affected my routines, choices, or behavior?
Relationships
How has the situation affected my relationships with other people?
Spiritual Life
How has the situation affected my prayer, worship, faith, or view of God?
Which area of my organic human life currently needs the most attention?
Part 7: Forgiveness, Trust, and Reconciliation
Complete the following statements.
I may be confusing forgiveness with:
☐ forgetting what happened
☐ immediately trusting again
☐ restoring the relationship to its previous form
☐ removing all consequences
☐ pretending that I am not hurt
☐ avoiding an honest conversation
☐ accepting responsibility for someone else’s sin
☐ returning to an unsafe relationship
☐ giving up a necessary boundary
Forgiveness may be possible even when:
☐ trust has not yet been rebuilt
☐ the other person has not apologized
☐ reconciliation is not currently possible
☐ consequences remain appropriate
☐ I still feel grief or anger
☐ distance is necessary
☐ the memory remains painful
What distinction between forgiveness, trust, and reconciliation do I most need to understand?
Part 8: Safety and Boundary Discernment
Forgiveness does not require exposure to continuing harm.
Does this situation involve any of the following?
☐ abuse
☐ threats
☐ stalking
☐ violence
☐ coercive control
☐ criminal conduct
☐ exploitation
☐ serious misuse of spiritual authority
☐ danger to a child or vulnerable person
☐ a protection or no-contact order
☐ none of these
When danger, abuse, criminal conduct, or safeguarding concerns are present, do not use this worksheet as a substitute for qualified assistance. Do not confront a dangerous person privately or violate a protection order.
A boundary I currently have or may need is:
A trusted person or qualified professional I could contact is:
One step that would support safety and truth is:
Part 9: My Starting Point in the Six Movements
Rate your present readiness for each movement from 0 to 5.
Receive
I am ready to receive God’s grace and bring this situation honestly before him.
Rating: _____
What makes receiving grace difficult?
Recognize
I am ready to tell the truth about what happened and distinguish responsibilities.
Rating: _____
What truth needs to be acknowledged?
Repent
I am ready to confess and turn from my own sinful responses or wrongdoing.
Rating: _____
What may require repentance?
Release
I am ready to place personal vengeance and final judgment into God’s hands.
Rating: _____
What am I still trying to control?
Repair
I am ready to consider appropriate apology, restitution, accountability, communication, or boundaries.
Rating: _____
What form of repair may be wise?
Rebuild
I am ready to develop healthier habits, relationships, boundaries, and spiritual practices.
Rating: _____
What may need to be rebuilt?
Which movement appears to be my most faithful next step?
Part 10: Beginning the GRACE Practice
G — Ground Yourself in God’s Grace
What grace, mercy, or forgiveness have I received through Jesus Christ?
R — Recognize the Truth
What happened, what was wrong, and what responsibilities belong to each person?
A — Ask, Accept, or Act
Do I need to ask for forgiveness, accept God’s forgiveness, or act by extending forgiveness?
C — Choose Release and Wise Repair
What vengeance, bitterness, excuse, false guilt, or controlling demand do I need to release?
What repair or boundary may be wise?
E — Entrust the Outcome to Christ
What person, consequence, relationship, memory, or unresolved outcome do I need to place into Christ’s hands?
Part 11: My Personal Statement of Hope
Complete the statement below.
During The Way of Forgiveness, I hope to grow in:
I hope to understand:
With God’s help, I hope to become someone who:
My personal statement of hope is:
Through this course, I hope God will help me ______________________
so that I can walk more faithfully in grace, truth, wisdom, and freedom.
Closing Prayer
Gracious God,
You know the truth about my life, my sins, my wounds, my relationships, and my unanswered questions.
Thank you for the forgiveness offered through Jesus Christ. Help me receive your grace without minimizing sin and accept responsibility without falling into condemnation.
Give me courage to recognize the truth, humility to repent, faith to release vengeance, wisdom to pursue appropriate repair, and patience to rebuild what can faithfully be rebuilt.
Protect me from false guilt, bitterness, denial, unsafe reconciliation, and the desire to control outcomes that belong to you.
Lead me in the way of forgiveness through the power of the Holy Spirit.
In Jesus’ name, amen.