📖 Bible Study 1.5: Forgive Us as We Forgive Others
Bible Study 1.5: Forgive Us as We Forgive Others
Primary Scripture
Read Matthew 6:5–15.
“Forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.”
—Matthew 6:12, WEB
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
—Matthew 6:14–15, WEB
Bible Study Purpose
This study explores why Jesus places receiving and extending forgiveness together in the prayer he teaches his disciples.
Jesus does not present forgiveness as an occasional religious activity. He includes it within the regular rhythm of prayer. Christians continually need God’s grace, and they continually need to practice grace toward others.
This passage does not teach that people earn salvation by forgiving perfectly. Salvation is God’s gift through Jesus Christ. However, a settled refusal to forgive contradicts the grace Christians claim to have received.
Those who live by mercy are called to become merciful people.
The Setting of the Lord’s Prayer
Matthew 6 is part of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. In this section, Jesus teaches his disciples about giving, praying, fasting, possessions, anxiety, judgment, and faithful life in God’s kingdom.
Before giving the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus warns against two distorted approaches to prayer.
First, he warns against praying to gain public admiration. Prayer is directed toward God rather than performed for an audience.
Second, he warns against using empty repetition as though many words could pressure God into responding.
Jesus then teaches his disciples to pray with simplicity, confidence, reverence, and dependence.
The prayer begins:
“Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy. Let your Kingdom come. Let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
—Matthew 6:9–10, WEB
Christian prayer begins with God’s character, kingdom, and will. It then brings daily human needs before him:
daily bread
forgiveness
guidance in temptation
deliverance from evil
Forgiveness is therefore presented as a basic need of every disciple.
“Forgive Us Our Debts”
Matthew uses the language of debts.
Sin creates a moral debt because it violates what is owed to God and to other people. Human beings owe God worship, obedience, trust, and love. They owe their neighbors truthfulness, justice, faithfulness, respect, and care.
When people sin, they fail to give what love and righteousness require.
This debt is not merely financial. It is moral and relational.
A lie creates a debt to truth.
Betrayal creates a debt to faithfulness.
Theft creates a debt involving property and justice.
Cruel words create a debt involving honor and love.
Neglect may create a debt involving responsibility and care.
When disciples pray, “Forgive us our debts,” they acknowledge that they cannot erase their own moral guilt. They depend on God’s mercy.
Forgiveness Begins With God
The Lord’s Prayer is addressed to “our Father.”
Christians do not approach God as strangers trying to persuade an unwilling judge. Through Jesus Christ, they approach the Father who knows their needs and welcomes honest confession.
God’s forgiveness is grounded in the saving work of Christ.
Paul writes:
“In whom we have our redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.”
—Ephesians 1:7, WEB
God does not forgive because sin is unimportant. He forgives according to the riches of his grace through the atoning work of Jesus Christ.
The cross demonstrates both the seriousness of sin and the greatness of divine mercy.
Christians therefore confess without hiding and receive grace without minimizing their wrongdoing.
A Daily Prayer
Jesus teaches his disciples to pray for daily bread. In the same prayer, he teaches them to ask for forgiveness.
This suggests that confession and dependence on grace belong to the regular Christian life.
Christians do not graduate from needing forgiveness. As they grow, the Holy Spirit may make them increasingly aware of attitudes, words, habits, motives, and actions that do not reflect Christ.
Regular confession is not intended to produce constant fear. It teaches believers to live honestly before God.
A Christian may pray:
“Father, show me where I have sinned.”
“Help me stop making excuses.”
“Forgive me through Jesus Christ.”
“Show me what repentance and repair require.”
“Help me receive your grace.”
Confession brings sin into the light, where grace can be received and change can begin.
“As We Also Forgive Our Debtors”
Jesus connects the forgiveness disciples receive with the forgiveness they extend.
The word as does not mean that human forgiveness is equal to God’s forgiveness. God is perfectly holy, and Christ alone provides atonement for sin.
Rather, Jesus teaches that forgiven people are to become forgiving people.
The prayer could be expressed this way:
“Father, forgive us as people who are also learning to release the debts others owe us.”
This is a serious prayer.
We are asking God to form within us a way of life shaped by the mercy we have received.
What Does It Mean to Forgive a Debtor?
To forgive a person who has sinned against us is to release the moral debt from our personal vengeance and place judgment into God’s hands.
Forgiveness does not say:
the wrong was acceptable
the loss was imaginary
consequences are unnecessary
trust must immediately return
reconciliation must occur
legal or church accountability should stop
the injured person must remain available for further harm
Forgiveness says:
“What happened was wrong, but I surrender my claim to personal revenge.”
“I will not make the offender’s destruction the governing purpose of my life.”
“I entrust final judgment to God.”
“I will seek truth, justice, protection, and repair without allowing hatred to become my master.”
Why Does Jesus Add Verses 14–15?
After the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus returns to one request: forgiveness.
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
—Matthew 6:14, WEB
Jesus’ warning is strong because refusing forgiveness is spiritually serious.
He is not teaching that one act of human forgiveness purchases God’s grace. Scripture consistently teaches that forgiveness and salvation come through God’s grace rather than human achievement.
Jesus is exposing a contradiction.
A person cannot sincerely plead for mercy while permanently insisting that no mercy should ever be shown to others. A heart closed to forgiveness shows resistance to the character of God’s kingdom.
Receiving grace begins to change the receiver.
This change may be slow and difficult. A Christian may struggle, grieve, become angry, establish boundaries, or repeatedly return an offense to God. Such struggle is different from deliberately embracing vengeance and refusing God’s call to mercy.
The question is not whether every painful emotion has disappeared.
The question is whether the person is willing to place the offense under the lordship of Christ.
Forgiveness and Repentance
Some Christians wonder whether forgiveness can occur when the offender has not repented.
Scripture describes forgiveness from several perspectives.
Relational reconciliation requires participation from more than one person. An unrepentant person may refuse confession, repair, or restored fellowship.
However, the injured person can still release personal vengeance and entrust judgment to God.
Jesus prayed from the cross:
“Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”
—Luke 23:34, WEB
Stephen similarly prayed for those killing him:
“Lord, don’t hold this sin against them!”
—Acts 7:60, WEB
These prayers do not declare that injustice is acceptable. They demonstrate a refusal to be governed by personal vengeance.
The Christian may say:
“I release revenge, but reconciliation is not presently possible.”
“I forgive, but trust has not been rebuilt.”
“I entrust this person to God, but an appropriate boundary remains necessary.”
Forgiveness and Wise Boundaries
Jesus’ command to forgive must never be used to pressure someone into an unsafe situation.
Forgiveness does not require a person to:
return to an abusive relationship
meet privately with a dangerous person
violate a protection order
conceal criminal behavior
abandon safeguarding procedures
trust someone who continues to deceive
give an offender continued access to victims
remain under destructive spiritual authority
A person may forgive while contacting law enforcement, reporting abuse, seeking church accountability, maintaining distance, or ending an unsafe relationship.
Forgiveness releases personal vengeance. It does not eliminate truth, justice, wisdom, or protection.
When Forgiveness Must Be Repeated
The Lord’s Prayer is not prayed only once.
In the same way, forgiveness may need to be practiced repeatedly.
A person may sincerely release an offense and later experience another wave of anger or grief. A memory, anniversary, conversation, or new consequence may cause the pain to return.
The return of pain does not necessarily mean that forgiveness was false.
The person may pray again:
“Father, I remember what happened.”
“I still believe it was wrong.”
“I release this person from my personal revenge.”
“I place the judgment and outcome into your hands.”
“Show me what truth, repair, or boundary is faithful today.”
Repeated forgiveness is not repeated denial. It is repeated surrender.
Examining Our Own Debts
The Lord’s Prayer also directs attention toward our own need for forgiveness.
It is easier to identify what others owe us than to acknowledge what we owe them.
Before focusing entirely on another person’s sin, consider:
Have I spoken truthfully?
Have I listened carefully?
Have I made excuses for my behavior?
Have I used another person’s wrongdoing to justify my own?
Have I exaggerated the offense?
Have I spread the story unnecessarily?
Have I treated uninvolved people harshly?
Have I refused an appropriate opportunity to make peace?
Do I need to apologize or make repair?
Recognizing our own wrongdoing does not make another person’s sin acceptable. Each person remains responsible for their own choices.
The Lord’s Prayer invites every disciple to stand before God as someone who both needs mercy and is called to practice mercy.
Study Questions
Observing the Passage
To whom is the Lord’s Prayer addressed?
What requests appear before and after the request for forgiveness?
What word does Matthew use to describe sins in Matthew 6:12?
What relationship does Jesus establish between receiving and extending forgiveness?
Why do you think forgiveness is the only request Jesus immediately explains after the prayer?
Understanding the Passage
What does the image of a moral debt teach us about sin?
Why does asking God for forgiveness require honesty about wrongdoing?
Why is extending forgiveness a response to grace rather than a way of purchasing grace?
What is the difference between struggling to forgive and deliberately refusing forgiveness?
Why can forgiveness be sincere even when painful emotions remain?
How can forgiveness coexist with consequences and boundaries?
What is the difference between releasing personal vengeance and restoring trust?
Applying the Passage
Which part of the prayer is easiest for you to pray?
Which part is most difficult?
Is there a debt you need to confess before God?
Is there a person whose moral debt you continue to calculate?
What revenge, imagined outcome, or demand for control might need to be placed into God’s hands?
Is there an apology, restitution, correction, or changed behavior that your own repentance requires?
Is there a boundary that would support truth, safety, and Christian love?
What would it mean to pray Matthew 6:12 honestly today?
Private Forgiveness Reflection
Do not record identifying details when doing so would be unsafe or inappropriate.
A Debt I Need God to Forgive
A sin, failure, or sinful response I need to confess is:
What excuse or blame-shifting do I need to release?
What repentance or repair may be appropriate?
What promise of God’s grace do I need to receive?
A Debt I Need to Release
A general description of the offense is:
What was wrong about what happened?
What loss or pain am I carrying?
What personal vengeance or controlling demand am I holding?
What truth, boundary, accountability, or repair remains appropriate?
What outcome must I entrust to God?
Practicing the GRACE Tool
G — Ground Yourself in God’s Grace
Father, through Jesus Christ, I have received:
R — Recognize the Truth
The truth about this situation is:
A — Ask, Accept, or Act
Today I need to:
☐ ask God for forgiveness
☐ seek forgiveness from another person
☐ accept God’s forgiveness
☐ extend forgiveness
☐ seek wise counsel before acting
C — Choose Release and Wise Repair
I choose to release:
A wise repair or boundary may be:
E — Entrust the Outcome to Christ
Jesus, I place this person, relationship, memory, consequence, or unresolved outcome into your hands:
Prayer of Confession and Forgiveness
Our Father in heaven,
Holy is your name. Let your kingdom come and your will be done in my life.
Thank you for seeing my needs and knowing the truth about me.
Forgive my sins through Jesus Christ. Show me where I have hidden, made excuses, blamed others, or resisted your correction. Give me humility to confess and courage to make appropriate repair.
Help me receive your grace. Keep me from punishing myself for sins you have forgiven. Teach me to accept responsibility without living under condemnation.
I bring before you those who have sinned against me. You know what happened, what was wrong, and what was lost.
I release personal vengeance into your hands. I surrender my demand to control the person, the judgment, and the final outcome.
Give me wisdom about truth, justice, safety, boundaries, trust, and reconciliation. Protect me from denial, bitterness, false guilt, and unsafe pressure.
When painful memories return, help me forgive again. Form me into a person who lives by the mercy I have received.
Forgive us our debts as we also forgive our debtors.
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.