Slides: Father and King

Father and King (2 Samuel 11-20)
by David Feddes

11:4David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her…Then she returned to her house. 5 And the woman conceived, and she sent and told David, "I am pregnant."

David ordered Joab to send Uriah on a mission that would get him killed.

11:7You are the man! ... 11:11Thus says the LORD, “Behold, I will raise up evil
against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of
this sun.”

…because by this deed you have utterly scorned the LORD, the child who is born to you shall die. (2 Sam 12:14)

David's son Amnon raped Tamar, his half-sister and Absolom's sister.

Two years later, Absalom had Amnon killed. Absalom fled to Geshur for three years.

Joab got David to let Absalom return to Jerusalem. However, for two more years, David refused to see Absalom.

14:25Now in all Israel there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him. 26And when he cut the hair of his head (for at the end
of every year he used to cut it; when it was heavy on him, he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head, two hundred shekels by the king’s weight.

14:29Then Absalom sent for Joab, to send him to the king, but Joab would not come to him. And he sent a second time, but Joab would not come. 30Then he
said to his servants, "See, Joab’s field is next to mine, and he has barley there; go and set it on fire." So Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.

Then Joab went to the king and told him, and he summoned Absalom. So he
came to the king and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom.

15:6 Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.

15:10 "As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then say, 'Absalom is king at Hebron!'"

17:14 The LORD had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in
order to bring disaster on Absalom.


Timeline of events

• Amnon rapes Tamar.

• Two years later, Absalom has Amnon killed.

• For three years, Absalom lives in Geshur.

• For two years, Absalom lives in Jerusalem without being allowed to see David.

• For four years, Absalom uses his foothold in the palace to build support for making himself king instead of his father David.

• A total of eleven years passes from the rape of Tamar to Absalom’s rebellion.

18⁴ The king stood at the side of the gate, while all the army marched out by hundreds and by thousands. ⁵And the king ordered Joab and Abishai and Ittai, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom." And all the people heard when the king gave orders to all the commanders about Absalom.

18:9 Absalom was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the thick branches of a great oak, and his head caught fast in the oak, and he was suspended
between heaven and earth, while the mule that was under him went on.

18:14 Joab took three javelins in his hand and thrust them into the heart of Absalom while he was still alive in the oak. “Good news for my lord the king!” “Is it well with the young man Absalom?”
“May the enemies of my lord the king and all who rise up against you for evil
be like that young man.”

18:33 And the king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the
gate and wept. And as he went, he said, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

19¹It was told Joab, "Behold, the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom." ²So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people, for the people heard that day, "The king is grieving for his son." ³And the people stole into the city that day as people steal in who are ashamed when they flee in battle. ⁴The king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, "O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!"

⁵Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, "You have today covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who have this day saved your life and the lives of your sons and your daughters and the lives of your wives and your concubines, ⁶because you love those who hate you and hate those who love you. For you have made it clear today that commanders and servants are nothing to you, for today I know that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased.”

^7”Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the LORD, if you do not go, not a man will stay with you this night, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now." ⁸Then the king arose and took his seat in the gate. And the people were all told, "Behold, the king is sitting in the gate." And all the people came before the king.

Joab the son of Zeruiah

• David’s sister Zeruiah had three sons: Abishai, Joab, and Asahel.

• Abishai wanted to kill Saul and later Shimei. He was chief of the elite Thirty and a general. In the middle of a battle, he saved an aging David from an attacking Phillistine giant.

• Asahel, one of the elite Thirty, was killed in battle by Saul’s general Abner, who was later named chief of David’s army. Joab then murdered Abner, getting revenge and regaining his position.


Necessary Execution
Joab took three javelins in his hand and thrust them into the heart of Absalom
while he was still alive in the oak.

Necessary Intervention
Joab said, “You love those who hate you and hate those who love you.
… Go out and speak kindly to your servants… if you do not go, not a man will stay with you this night.”

Joab the general

• Brave and deadly: first soldier into Jerusalem; quick to eliminate any enemy of David

• Shrewd and political: very diplomatic or very direct, depending on the need of the hour

• Decisive and practical: “Far be it from me, far be it, that I should swallow up or destroy!” (2 Samuel 20:20) Just hand over the culprit!

• Ruthless and selfish: kills any who wrong him or take his position: Abner, Absalom, Amasa

Joab said to Amasa, "Is it well with you, my brother?" And Joab took Amasa by the beard with his right hand to kiss him. But Amasa did not observe the sword that was in Joab’s hand. So Joab struck him with it in the stomach and spilled his entrails to the ground without striking a second blow, and he died.
(2 Sam 20:9-10)

Joab the believer

• “Be of good courage, and let us be courageous for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the LORD do what seems good to him.” (2 Samuel 10:12)

• Joab said to the king, “May the LORD your God add to the people a hundred times as many as they are, while the eyes of my lord the king still see it, but why does my lord the king delight in this thing?” (2 Samuel 24:3)

• Joab fled to the tent of the LORD and caught hold of the horns of the altar… He said, “I will die here.” (1 Kings 2:28-30)

Joab fled to the tent of the LORD and caught hold of the horns of the altar…
“I will die here.” Am I more worthy of salvation than Joab? When death comes
for me, my only hope is to hold tight to the altar of sacrifice and refuse to let go.


Flawed father

• David sinned grievously against his family, his kingdom, and his Lord—and his kingdom, his family, and his Lord suffered for it.

• David had thrown himself into building his kingdom but did little to build his family.

• No direction or discipline: “His father had never at any time displeased Adonijah by asking, "Why have you done thus and so?" He was also a very handsome man, and he was born next after Absalom.” (1 Kings 1:6)

Distant dad

• David bottled up his feelings for his sons—until it was too late. When Absalom was in another country, David yearned for Absalom to be with him, but kept him at a distance.

• After Absalom returned to Jerusalem, David shunned him and was slow to embrace him.

• As father David let his sons run loose.

• As king David did not apply justice to his sons or protect his kingdom from them when they became loose cannons.

A father’s heart

Despite his flawed fathering, Dave still had a great heart of love for his son Absalom.

• The spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom. (2 Sam 13:38-39)

• The king kissed Absalom. (2 Sam 14:33)

• "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Sam 18:33)

• Let your son see your heart for him and for God before it is too late.

Sons blind to father’s heart

• David’s rebel sons did not know their father’s love for them, and did not show love for him.

• David wept at Absalom’s death, even after Absalom sought David’s death.

• Absalom, and later Adonijah, inherited their father’s looks, charm, and ambition, but not his heart—the true greatness of David.

• Father is flawed, but sons are responsible for rebelling and missing his godly, loving heart.

King and Father

• Building kingdom instead of family had a negative impact on David’s family.

• David’s violation of marriage and neglect of family nearly destroyed his kingship.

• With family and kingdom both in jeopardy, David’s favoritism and grief over one family member almost destroyed everything.

• It is hard to do justice both to family duties and to duties of God’s calling beyond family.

Stopping a ruinous rebel

• Absalom endangered everyone in David’s family and kingdom. David could not afford to be soft with him. The rebel could ruin all.

^• Before a battle in which 20,000 men would be killed because of Absalom, David ordered, “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” (2 Sam 18:5)

• God would do what David would not: “The LORD had determined … to bring disaster on Absalom.” (2 Sam 17:14)

Stopping ruinous rebels

• Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the LORD… the men treated the offering of the LORD with contempt… they lay with the women who were serving at the entrance to the tent of meeting. (1 Sam 2:12, 17,22)

• His sons were blaspheming God, and he did not restrain them. (1 Sam 3:13)

• Eli’s sons would not listen to the voice of their father, for it was the will of the LORD to put them to death. (1 Sam 2:25)

King and Father

• A king (or high priest) had a duty to put a rebel son out of commission, regardless of how tender his feelings toward his son.

• David could not bring himself to destroy Absalom, so Joab did what had to be done: he killed Absalom to prevent further trouble.

• David fell apart when he heard of Absalom’s death, so Joab pushed David to do what had to be done: stop acting like a grieving father and start acting like a victorious king.

Weeping but punishing

And when Jesus drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! … your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation.” (Luke 19:41-44)

David’s great successor

• "Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!” (1 Samuel 18:33)

• Our Lord did endure the death we deserved.

• After dying at the hands of his rebel children, Jesus rose again in victory.

• Although David’s roles and feelings were in conflict, God’s attributes are in harmony.

• Jesus reveals to us the Father’s loving heart, but also his justice as King and Judge.

King and Father

•   The Father’s love: But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. (Luke 15:20)

•   The King’s judgment: But as for these enemies of mine, who did not want me to reign over them, bring them here and slaughter them before me. (Luke 19:27)