Reading: Pastoral Care Listening Edge (The Video Slides)

The Pastoral Care Listening Edge

Pastoral care is an adventure with those in your care

This area of pastoral work is multifaceted and full of surprises, unexpected problems, and opportunities for profound insight into the human situation. - An Introduction to Pastoral Care., Charles V. Gerkin

Theology of Listening

• You are ministering to image bearers of God and/or saints in Christ.

James 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

The Listening Edge in Pastoral Care

• Listening makes those in our care feel special

People feel respected, valued, interesting and loved. Our conversations go deeper, our relationships build more trust. By listening, we model the skill to others.

Pastoral Care Listening Techniques

• Look comfortable toward those you are listening to.

Sit up straight or lean slightly forward to demonstrate your interest in the other person through body language.

• Show that you understand (“uh-huh” and “um-hmm”, “I see”) and nod.

Ask questions that keep the revelation continuing.

With raised eyebrows, ask questions like, what happen then? How did you feel about that?

Don’t cross your arms.

• Focus on the speaker.
• Avoid thinking ahead.
• Keep your thoughts at bay

Proverbs 18:13, “He who answers before listening- that is his folly and shame.”

• Don’t get on the speaker stage. Let them shine.

Don’t tell the speaker how the same thing happened to you last week, last year, last church. Unless they specifically ask for advice, let them talk.

• Stay quiet even if they are attacking you.

The speaker needs to be heard, don’t defend yourself. They will feel respected and heard, and you will really hear their whole argument.

• Get into the conversation. Become the respectful detective.

Ask questions, but wait until the speaker has completed talking. Don’t interrupt their train of thought. After you ask questions, restate their point to make sure you didn’t misunderstand.

“What you are saying…”

“I have struggles with doubts”

• Common struggle
• Faith based certainty, not certainty based faith
• Get just enough

Hebrews 11:3 By faith, we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.