Reading: Mastering Good Eye Contact - Video Slides

Mastering Good Eye Contact

Henry Reyenga

Ears And Eyes Are So Connected

Psalms 34:15   The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; 

Eye Contact Balance

Not too much and not too little (Daniel Wendler)

Avoid Staring

Avoid Distance

Successful Eye Contact 

Match your eye contact with those you are talking to. 

If they look at you, look at them. If they look away, look away.

Mastering Good Eye Contact

You don't want to mirror your partner exactly, or they'll quickly realize you're copying them. It's ok to instantly match their eye contact on occasion, but in general, you should wait a few seconds before copying them. Wait about one second before looking at them, and about two or three seconds before looking away.

Daniel Wendler

Mastering Good Eye Contact

Those numbers are just rough guidelines, of course. Feel free to experiment to find what feels natural for you. The important thing is that you avoid moving like a mirror image of your partner. The exact timing of your pauses is less important.

Daniel Wendler

Mastering Good Eye Contact

Also, be aware that eye contact rules change somewhat when you're having an emotional conversation. It's sometimes easier to discuss emotional issues when you're not looking at someone, so when people are sharing something very personal or emotional, they will sometimes look away from the person they are speaking to.

Daniel Wendler

Mastering Good Eye Contact

If that happens, you still need to look at them to show that you care. If your gaze wanders, that communicates that you don't really care about what they're saying, which is bad at any time but especially hurtful when they're sharing something emotional.

Daniel Wendler