Reading: Unique Characteristics Concerning Human Communication (Video Slides)

Unique Characteristics Concerning Human Communication

Henry Reyenga

God Created Language

John 1:1  In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 

John 1:14  And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth. 

Incarnation Was Communication

Word became flesh.

Love became embodied! 

Love In Words

Communication can still incarnate love.

James 3:10  Out of the same mouth proceeds blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. 

We Communicate Post Fall

Even our words fail us.

Danish scientist Piet Hein: "Ideas go in and out of words as air goes in and out of a room with all windows and doors widely open.”

Quoted in "Life”, 14 October 1966.

We Communicate Post Fall

Not only post fall, we are post Tower of Babel.

The diversity of language means a diversity of meaning.  

Genesis 11:9  Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth. 

We Must Commit To Understand

Each person has their own code of meaning.

Often we code our messages without trying. We have been trained from early childhood to express ourselves indirectly on many topics and feelings. All of us have spent a lifetime coding our own messages and decoding the messages of others.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (p. 66). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 

Making Guesses 

Guesses and communication go hand in hand.

One of the basic reasons for miscommunication is that decoding is always guesswork. We can hear another person's words and we can observe his actions, but we can only infer what the words and actions mean.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (p. 67). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 

Making Guesses 

You can guess about behavior, words and concepts.

Many times you must really guess about emotions.

The fact is that you must be committed to talking and listening to incarnation communication. 

The Heart Of Misunderstanding

Our tendency to decode another's message inaccurately leads to needless misunderstanding on both sides. Since the speaker's thoughts and feelings are private and known only to him, the listener can only guess what they are. And since the listener's interpretation of the speaker's meaning is private and known only to the listener, neither may be aware that a misunderstanding exists.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (p. 68). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 

Hiding In And Around The Bushes

Genesis 3:8  And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. 

Many times people will come to you hiding what they really want to talk about! 

Hiding In And Around The Bushes

Each person conceals much of himself from others. Everyone "travels incognito” to some degree. Yet it is often those very things that we sometimes most want to discuss that we hide most carefully. This results in a phenomenon popularly known as "beating around the bush.” The speaker does not come directly to the point. In fact, he may not even hint at the real point of what he is saying. The speaker's drive to talk about one topic may impel him to converse with you, but his anxiety about that topic may keep him speaking about another subject altogether.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (p. 69). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 

Often People Do Not Know What Their "Wanter” Wants

Bury emotions or blinded by emotion.

On the one hand, they are often unaware of their own emotions. On the other hand, feelings sometimes surge through a person with such force that reason and other factors become impotent. The person finds himself dangerously out of control and is unable to direct his own destiny at that time. The first condition comes when we are blind to our emotions. The second condition is caused when we are blinded by our emotions. 

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (p. 70). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 

Commit To Master Listening

The heart commitment to listening is central: spiritual warfare present.

One of the reasons for poor listening (and also for good listening) is that people can think much faster than they can talk. The average rate of speech for most Americans is about 125 words per minute. This rate is slow for the ear and brain, which can process words about four times that fast. While we listen, we have a lot of spare time for thinking.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (p. 72). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 

Emotional Conditioning

Emotional profiling is unavoidable.

Once such conditioning takes place, often without design, the child (or adult) reacts to the words emotionally. The gut-level response to the now emotionally laden word interferes with the reception of messages containing that word.

Bolton, Robert (2009-11-24). People Skills (p. 73). Touchstone. Kindle Edition. 

Actions Of Love

James 3:13   Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 

1 John 3:18  Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.