People Smart Techniques 

Henry Reyenga


The Flooding Smile 

Don't flash an immediate smile when you see someone, as though anyone who walked into your line of sight would be the beneficiary. Instead, look at the other person's face for a second. Pause. Soak in their persona. Then let a big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes. It will engulf the recipient like a warm wave. The split-second delay convinces people your flooding smile is genuine and only for them.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 8). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Sticky Eyes 

Pretend your eyes are glued to your conversation partner's with sticky warm taffy. Don't break eye contact even after he or she has finished speaking. When you must look away, do it ever so slowly, reluctantly, stretching the gooey taffy until the tiny string finally breaks.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 12). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition.


Hello Old Friend

When meeting someone, imagine he or she is an old friend (an old customer, an old beloved, or someone else you had great affection for). How sad, the vicissitudes of life tore you two asunder. But, holy mackerel, now the party (the meeting, the convention) has reunited you with your long-lost old friend! The joyful experience starts a remarkable change. You will amaze yourself. The delight of rediscovery fills your face and buoys up your body language. I sometimes jokingly say if you were a light, you'd beam on the other person. If you were a dog, you'd be wagging your tail. You make this new person feel very special indeed.


Limit The Fidget 

Whenever your conversation really counts, let your nose itch, your ear tingle, or your foot prickle. Do not fidget, twitch, wiggle, squirm, or scratch. And above all, keep your paws away from your puss. Hand motions near your face and all fidgeting can give your listener the gut feeling you're fibbing.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 34). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Watch The Scene Before You Make The Scene 

Rehearse being the Super Somebody you want to be ahead of time. SEE yourself smiling the Flooding Smile, and making Sticky Eyes. HEAR yourself chatting comfortably with everyone. FEEL the pleasure of knowing you are in peak form and everyone is gravitating toward you. VISUALIZE yourself a Super Somebody. Then it all happens automatically.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 42). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


First Words Aren't As Important 

Worried about your first words? Fear not, because 80 percent of your listener's impression has nothing to do with your words anyway. Almost anything you say at first is fine. No matter how prosaic the text, an empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate delivery make you sound exciting.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 54). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Never The City Alone 

Whenever someone asks you the inevitable, "And where are you from?" never, ever, unfairly challenge their powers of imagination with a one-word answer. Learn some engaging facts about your hometown that conversational partners can comment on. Then, when they say something clever in response to your bait, they think you're a great conversationalist.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 65). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Never The Job Alone 

When asked the inevitable "And what do you do," you may think "I'm an economist/an educator/an engineer" is giving enough information to engender good conversation. However, to one who is not an economist, educator, or an engineer, you might as well be saying "I'm a paleontologist/psychoanalyst/photographer." Flesh it out. Throw out some delicious facts about your job for new acquaintances to munch on. Otherwise, they'll soon excuse themselves, preferring the snacks back at the cheese tray.


Introduce People With A Hook

When introducing people, don't throw out an unbaited hook and stand there grinning like a big clam, leaving the newlymets to flutter their fins and fish for a topic. Bait the conversational hook to get them in the swim of things. Then you're free to stay or float on to the next networking opportunity.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 72). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Be A Word Detective

Like a good gumshoe, listen to your conversation partner's every word for clues to his or her preferred topic. The evidence is bound to slip out. Then spring on that subject like a sleuth on to a slip of the tongue. Like Sherlock Holmes, you have the clue to the subject that's hot for the other person.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 75). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


The Swiveling Spotlight 

When you meet someone, imagine a giant revolving spotlight between you. When you're talking, the spotlight is on you. When the new person is speaking, it's shining on him or her. If you shine it brightly enough, the stranger will be blinded to the fact that you have hardly said a word about yourself. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she finds you.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 77). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Parroting 

Never be left speechless again. Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says. That puts the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 80). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 


Shining the Spotlight 

Whenever you're at a meeting or party with someone important to you, think of some stories he or she told you. Choose an appropriate one from their repertoire that the crowd will enjoy. Then shine the spotlight by requesting a repeat performance.

Lowndes, Leil (2003-10-10). How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships (p. 85). McGraw-Hill Education. Kindle Edition. 

Last modified: Thursday, June 27, 2024, 12:29 PM