Reading: Birth Order Insights from Kevin Leman

Birth Order Insights From Kevin Leman
Henry Reyenga

Introduction
Think of your family as a tree. Your mom and dad (or mom or dad, if you're from a single-parent family) form the trunk of the tree. The children in the family are the branches. Have you ever seen a tree where all the branches are growing in the exact same direction? The same is true with children. One of the best predictions in life is that whatever the firstborn in a family is, the secondborn in the family will go in a different (and oftentimes opposite) direction.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (pp. 13-14). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Birth Order Insights
Yes, birth order makes sense. After all, how else can three or four or even eight little cubs be so different, yet come from the very same den? Birth order is simple, but it's not simplistic. There are standard birth order rules, and there are also exceptions to the standard birth order rules (both of which we'll also talk about in this book). However, the exceptions are explainable when you understand how birth order works. Even the exceptions develop because of when you were born into your family.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 17). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Why should you care about birth order?
Birth order can give you some important clues about your personality; your relationship with friends, co-workers, and loved ones; the kind of job you have; and how you handle problem solving. Birth order is really the science of understanding your place in the family line. Were you born first? Second? Third? Or even farther down that line? Wherever you landed, it has affected your life in countless ways.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 18). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

General Firstborn Traits
Perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, a list maker, well-organized, hard-driving, a natural leader, critical, serious, scholarly, logical, doesn't like surprises, and techies.
"Reliable and conscientious, they tend to be list makers and black-and-white thinkers. They have a keen sense of right and wrong and believe there is a right way to do things. They are natural leaders and achievement oriented.”
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 18). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Middle Children (1)
Mediator, compromising, diplomatic, avoids conflict, independent, loyal to peers, has many friends, a maverick, secretive, used to not having attention
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 18). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Middle Children (2)
They're the hardest to pin down of all the birth orders, but they'll be the opposite of the child above them in the family. If the firstborn is very conventional, the second will be unconventional. Middle children walk to the beat of a different drummer. They are competitive, loyal, and big on friendships. Being the middle child means living in a sort of anonymous haziness.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 21). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Middle Children (3)
But that's not all bad. If a middle child is anonymous, he can get away with occasional laziness and indifference. He's not pushed as hard or expected to accomplish quite as much as the one who came before him. The drawback is that without being pushed, he may never fulfill his potential . The middle child of the family is often the negotiator who tries to keep the peace.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 21). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Lastborns (1)
Charming, blames others, attention seeker, tenacious, people person, natural salesperson, precocious, engaging, affectionate, loves surprises
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 18). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Lastborns (2)
These social, outgoing creatures have never met a stranger. They are uncomplicated, spontaneous, humorous, and high on people skills. To them, life's a party. They're most likely to get away with murder and least likely to be punished. They often retain their pet name.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 22). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Note: "Get away with murder” is metaphor that means to not get in trouble for being very naughty.

Lastborns (3)
But there's also a flip side to being the youngest.
Although they're the little star in the family constellation , it's no fun being the smallest, because it means they spend a lot of their time wearing hand-me-downs that are ragged, incredibly out of style, or too big. Being the youngest also means that they get picked on from time to time and maybe get called an unflattering nickname.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 22). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Only Children
Little adult by age seven, very thorough, deliberate, high achiever, self-motivated, fearful, cautious, voracious reader, black-and-white thinker, talks in extremes, can't bear to fail, has very high expectations for self, more comfortable with people who are older or younger.
Books are their best friends. They work independently. And they can't understand why kids in other families fight.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 18). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Disclaimer
Notice that regarding each major birth order, I always qualify the characteristics by saying "good bet” or "chances are .” Not all characteristics fit every person in that birth order. In fact, a firstborn may have baby characteristics, a lastborn can sometimes act like a firstborn in certain areas, and middle children may seem to be firstborns . I've seen onlies who you would swear were youngest children. There are reasons for these inconsistencies.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 19). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.