Reading: The Variables of Birth Order, Part 1

The Variables of Birth Order 
Part 1

Henry Reyenga

The Variables of Birth Order
The variables for birth order include:
spacing--the number of years between children
the sex of each child-- and in what sequence males and females are born physical, mental, or emotional differences--yes, genes are important
sibling deaths--which, if occurring early, cause the child below to be "bumped up” to the next birth order
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 37). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

The Variables of Birth Order
The variables for birth order include:
adoptions--which may or may not have an effect on birth order, depending on how old the child is when adopted the birth order position of each parent--because, for example, firstborn parents usually run a much different and tighter ship than laterborns
the relationship between the parents--and the parenting style they use as they pass on their personal values to their children.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 37). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

The Variables of Birth Order
The variables for birth order include:
the critical eye of a parent--because constant criticism takes its toll
the blending of two families due to
death or divorce-- because, for example, in a stepfamily certain birth orders often get stepped on

Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 37). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Variables Are Common
But some children act and appear very different from their ordinal birth order. And even when children seem to fit the typical descriptions of their ordinal birth order (# 1, #2, etc.), they can exhibit characteristics of other birth orders. That's where the variables come in. They can cause a child born in one birth position to function, at least in part, with characteristics of another birth position.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 38). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Spacing (1)
An obvious and crucial birth order variable in any family is spacing-- when each child arrives. Whenever you think of spacing, you should include the phenomenon called dethronement of the firstborn, which happens the minute a little brother or sister comes into the world . Until that moment, the firstborn has been number one and the apple of everyone's eye. Suddenly there is another little apple on the branch (and it's smaller, cuter, and new to the family tree ). The firstborn is no longer the only one who's special, and he may suffer some serious self-esteem problems if his parents don't make sure they let him know that he's still loved very much.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 39). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Spacing (2)
Many parents try to have their children two years apart (actually three is "ideal”), but these best-laid plans often go awry. Gaps of five to six years or more in the spacing of the children can create another "family.” I say can since the other variables may come into play. For example, with the five-year gap between me and my older brother, I could have started a second family and become a functional firstborn, but other things intervened. To show you how a second family can actually occur, let's look at the example below:
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 39). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

The Gender Variable
Any time the second born is the same sex as the first born, there is often friction.
When sex differences create someone "special,” it can put pressure on the child immediately above or below that special person.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 49). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Role Reversals
A role reversal is when two children do something of a flip-flop.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 50). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Multiple Births
Another important variable in birth order is multiple births, which have been happening more often in recent years. The usual multiple birth that we've seen down through the years is, of course, twins. And twins are always special. Twins are usually very aware of who is the firstborn. One of them will let you know that he is older, even if it's by as little as one minute!
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 51). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Gifted Children Factor
The same is true with kids in families. If you have kids in higher positions in the family who do very well, that next-in-line child might think, Hey, what's the use of even trying? I can't measure up to what they've accomplished.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 52). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Deaths
Suppose a family has two sons and a daughter. At age 4, the older boy dies of spinal meningitis , leaving behind his 2-year-old brother and 6-month-old sister. The 2-year-old takes over the firstborn role and grows up that way, while his little sister, who actually was born a baby of the family, grows up more as a firstborn girl.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 54). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Death (2)
Second, suppose the oldest child in the family dies at age 12 in an automobile accident. His 10-year-old brother assumes the firstborn role and is suddenly given firstborn assignments and responsibilities. But is he really a firstborn? No, for ten years he grew up as a secondborn, content not to challenge his older brother for supremacy in the family. Now he is getting a lot of pressure that he really doesn't want and has no idea how to cope with because he has no experience in that area.
Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 54). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Adoption Alert
I also advise parents not to adopt a child who is older than any biological children they already have. The adopted "intruder” may have a negative effect on the child directly beneath him or her. For example, suppose a couple has a 3-year-old child and decide to adopt a child who is 5. What happens? Their 3-year-old has just been knocked off his only-child mountaintop and now has to contend with someone bigger and smarter. Always remember the principle, which applies in this case: generally speaking, we are affected and influenced the most by whoever is directly above us in the family. When an older adopted child comes into a family, he or she is bound to collide with the biological child directly below in age.

Leman, Dr. Kevin (2004-09-01). The Birth Order Book (p. 56). Baker Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.