Read: When God Says No (Dr. Roels)

Introduction

Does God always hear our prayers as He promised He would? Yes He does. Does He always answer our prayers the way we would like? Certainly not! We usually refer to prayers which do not receive the answer we were looking for as "unanswered prayers” but it's important to remember that "No” is as much of an answer as "Yes” is.

Almost all of us have experienced times when our prayers were not "answered” the way we had hoped. We prayed for a job, but we could not find work. We prayed for money, but we did not receive it. We prayed for strength but we stumbled and fell. We prayed for victory, but we did not win. We prayed for light, but we groped in the darkness. We prayed for peace but we saw only conflict. We prayed for the sick, but they did not get better.

Thankfully, most of us can also point to those many times when God did grant us the desires of our hearts. He gave us food when we were hungry. He restored our health when we were sick. He kept us safe when we were in danger. He guided our steps when we were lost. He gave us peace when we were in turmoil. He gave us comfort when we were sad. So we KNOW that God does graciously answer prayer and He does often give us what we have asked for. And sometimes He even gives us even more! But we also know that God sometimes says "No” rather than "Yes.” And we often wonder why.

The Bible does not answer all our questions concerning "unanswered prayer.” There are times and circumstances when we just cannot understand why things happen as they do. But the Bible does help us understand why at least some of our prayers do not receive the answers we were hoping for.

In this lesson we will consider ten possible reasons why God might answer our prayers with a "No”--or, seemingly, not at all. We will then look at some Biblical passages or examples which illustrate those reasons.

POSSIBLE REASONS WHY GOD SAYS "NO.”

1. One of the major reasons why God does not respond positively to our prayers is because there are unconfessed sins in our lives. If we deliberately harbor sin in our hearts and do not repent of those sins, we create a barrier between ourselves and God, and God will not answer our prayers the way we desire. A positive answer to our prayers requires humility, sincerity, and integrity on our part.

The Psalm writer wrote: "'If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the LORD would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer.” Psalm 66:18-19

To the people of Israel God said: "'When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good.'” Isaiah 1:15-17

Isaiah wrote: "Your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear.” Isaiah 59:2

The prophet Zechariah wrote about the sinful Israelites this way: "They refused to pay attention and turned a stubborn shoulder and stopped their ears that they might not hear. . . . Therefore great anger came from the LORD of hosts. 'As I called, and they would not hear, so they called, and I would not hear,' says the LORD of hosts.” Zechariah 7:11-13

Read the following examples of times when God did not answer prayers because of the sins of the people who offered them.

Moses told the people of Israel: "So I spoke to you, and you would not listen; but you rebelled against the command of the LORD and presumptuously went up into the hill country . . . And you returned and wept before the LORD, but the LORD did not listen to your voice or give ear to you.'” Deuteronomy 1:43-45

Concerning the people of Israel, God said, "'Then my anger will be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them and hide my face from them, and they will be devoured. And many evils and troubles will come upon them, so that they will say in that day, 'Have not these evils come upon us because our God is not among us?' And I will surely hide my face in that day because of all the evil that they have done, because they have turned to other gods.'” Deuteronomy 31:17-18

Many years later the Lord said concerning the people of Israel: "'They have turned back to the iniquities of their forefathers, who refused to hear my words. They have gone after other gods to serve them. The house of Israel and the house of Judah have broken my covenant that I made with their fathers. . . . Though they cry to me, I will not listen to them. . . . Therefore do not pray for this people, or lift up a cry or prayer on their behalf, for I will not listen when they call to me in the time of their trouble.'” Jeremiah 11:10-14 See also Jeremiah 14:10-12 and 15:1.

After the Israelites were taken into captivity, the Lord said, "'And the nations shall know that the house of Israel went into captivity for their iniquity, because they dealt so treacherously with me that I hid my face from them and gave them into the hand of their adversaries, and they all fell by the sword. I dealt with them according to their uncleanness and their transgressions, and hid my face from them.'” Ezekiel 39:23-24

2. Another reason why God may not answer our prayers is because we sometimes pray with the wrong motives. We do not always ask for things in order that God's name will be glorified or that His Kingdom will be advanced. We sometimes ask for things selfishly or for things which will serve only to make our lives easier or more pleasant. It's certainly not wrong to ask for things that would make our lives more comfortable, but we must be sure not to ask for things which would be displeasing to Him. God wants us to focus our prayers and requests on things which will help us to serve HIM better. He doesn't want us to use the privilege and blessing of prayer simply to focus on our own wishes and desires--whether these would really be good for us or not.

James wrote, "You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” James 4:2-3

Jesus said, "'But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.'” Matthew 6:33

The Psalmist wrote, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

And Peter reminds us that "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5

3. If we harbor an unforgiving or negative attitude toward others in our hearts, God may refuse to grant us what we ask for--even if we ask for something that would normally be considered good and desirable. If God chooses to answer some of our prayers with a "No,” He may be reminding us that we need to restore a broken relationship with someone or to forgive a person who may have hurt us or offended us.

Jesus said: "When you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.'” Mark 11:25

John reminds us that it is impossible to truly love God the way we should if we have hatred in our hearts for our brother. "If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar.” 1 John 4:20

Peter emphasized that even a broken or improper relationship between married partners can have a negative effect on their prayer life. He wrote: "Husbands . . . be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7

4. Sometimes God does not answer our prayers the way we desire because He is disciplining us for some sin we have committed. Even though He graciously forgives our sins when we confess and forsake them, He may still punish us for that sin or let sin "run its course” in our lives with all the negative consequences that result from a bad or sinful choice we have made.

One of the best examples of this is found in the life of David. When David committed adultery with Bathsheba, God sent the prophet Nathan to him to confront him about what he had done. David immediately confessed his sin to the Lord. Nathan then told David, "'The LORD also has put away your sin; you shall not die. Nevertheless, because by this deed you have utterly scorned the LORD . . . the child who is born to you shall die” (2 Samuel 12:13-16). David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent all night lying on the ground (2 Samuel 12:13-16). But in spite of David's earnest pleas, God did not spare the child's life.

Sometimes the sins of parents continue to have serious negative effects in the lives of future generations. David's sin, for example, resulted in severe punishment that was expressed in these words, "Now, therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife” (2 Samuel 12:10).

This may be an example of what God meant when he said, "I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.” Exodus 20:4-5

5. Sometimes God uses unpleasant or difficult circumstances to draw us closer to Himself. By not granting what we ask, God may be moving us to focus on eternal and spiritual values rather than on physical or material things. He wants us to grow spiritually to become more like Christ. He knows that our greatest spiritual growth often comes through trials, hurt, defeat, sickness or disappointment rather than through material prosperity or success. If God always granted us everything we asked for, we might become proud, selfish, and excessively focused on earthly things.

There are many examples of people, both in the Bible and today, who became much more effective spiritually and even much happier because of their affliction or weakness or trials which the Lord chose not to take away. God wants us to put HIM in first place in our lives so that we focus our lives on bringing glory and honor to Him through how we live. The natural tendency for us is to focus on our own interests and needs rather than on the kingdom of God, but a "No” answer from God can help us re-focus on the Lord and His kingdom.

The apostle Paul is an outstanding example of spiritual growth which came when God answered His earnest prayers with a clear "No.” Paul wrote:

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassing great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

In writing to the Corinthian believers Paul reflected further on the fact that believers often suffer trials of one kind or another. He wrote: "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

James emphasized the same truth when he wrote: "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

The Psalmist wrote, "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word . . . It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.” Psalm 119:67, 71

It is good to remember these things, so that we do not become overly discouraged when God does not immediately answer our prayers for good health, peace, safety, or deliverance. If we are walking in fellowship with Him and at peace with our neighbor, we may be confident that God is truly working out all things for our good, even if our circumstances are unpleasant or difficult (Romans 8:28).

6. By not giving us something we desire or ask for, God may be saying "No” so that something much better can be accomplished. Though it may seem that God is not listening to our prayers, He may be responding in a way that leads to greater and better things than we asked for.

In Old Testament times, Joseph was passionately hated by his brothers who eventually sold him to some slave traders on their way to Egypt. In Egypt he was unjustly accused of assaulting his master's wife, he was put in an Egyptian jail for several years, and then he was forgotten by someone who might have helped free him (Genesis 37:12-36, Genesis 39, Genesis 40:14-15, 23).

Though no specific mention is made of Joseph's prayer life in these chapters, we may assume that Joseph was a man who spent much time with God in prayer. Many years after he had emerged victorious over all these trials, he said to his brothers, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today'” (Genesis 50:20). God did not keep Joseph from being sold, betrayed, imprisoned, or forgotten, but He used all these difficult circumstances to prepare him for future ministry and service which resulted in the rescue of his extended family and the saving of many others.

On his second missionary journey Paul wanted to go to a province in Asia Minor to carry out his mission work, but God prevented him from going there (Acts 16:6-7). In Romans 1:13 Paul indicated that he often had wanted to go to Rome but was prevented from doing so. By saying "No” to Paul's plans, God was guiding him to places where he would have a much more effective and fruitful ministry.

When Paul was imprisoned in Rome, he wrote, "I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard and to all the rest that my imprisonment is for Christ. And most of the brothers, having become confident in the Lord by my imprisonment, are much more bold to speak the word without fear.” Philippians 1:12-14

Jesus Himself prayed passionately and earnestly to His Father in the Garden of Gethsemane that His cup of suffering might be taken away from Him--but it wasn't (Luke 22:42-44). And throughout history millions of people continue to thank Jesus for His willingness to suffer and die for them--even though their salvation was purchased at such an awesome price.

God often works out His purposes in ways that go beyond our own prayers, plans or desires. Many people have been very grateful that God did not answer their prayers the way they had asked, since they realized later that God's answer was far better than anything they had asked for or hoped for.

7. There are times and situations where sincere people may pray for opposite things which cannot both happen at the same time. For example, enemies may pray for a victory in the same battle. Opposing sports teams may pray for a win in the same game. Two people may desire to obtain the same job. Political opponents may both pray for victory in the same election. Two students may pray for the same scholarship. Two men may wish to marry the same girl or two girls may desire the same man as their husband.

We must recognize that God is in control of all things and that HIS purposes will ultimately be accomplished. We may not understand why one person "wins” while another "loses,” but we may be sure that God is working things out in a way that will truly advance the cause of His kingdom while also being best for everyone who sincerely commits his life to the Lord.

8. There may be times when we do not pray with a humble and sincere faith that God will answer our prayers. Faith is not some kind of "magic” which automatically guarantees that our prayers will be answered. Rather, faith is a sure confidence and trust that our loving heavenly Father will truly grant what is best for us when we seek to do His will and live to His honor and glory.

The writer to the Hebrews reminds us: "And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

James wrote: "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord.”

Jesus said: "'Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.'” Mark 11:22, 24

Those who do not have faith in God and His promises will often find that their prayers are not answered as they desire. A clear example of that is found in Jesus' own experience in His home town of Nazareth. The Bible tells us that Jesus did not perform many miracles there because of the people's lack of faith. Mark describes that sad situation in these words, "And he [Jesus] marveled because of their unbelief.” Mark 6:1-6

9. Sometimes we may give up too quickly when we pray. We may become frustrated, discouraged, or unhappy when we don't immediately receive the answer we want, so we stop praying. And, as a result, we don't receive the answer God is ready to give us in His own time.

The prophet Isaiah wrote many years ago, "The LORD waits to be gracious to you and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” Isaiah 30:18

There are some wonderful examples of positive, persevering prayer in the Bible by people who wouldn't take "No” as God's final answer--even if God's first answer clearly appeared to be "No.”

Consider the following examples from the Old Testament.

"Then I [Daniel] turned my face to the Lord God, seeking him by prayer and pleas for mercy with fasting and sackcloth and ashes.” Daniel 9:3

Elijah prayed seven times for rain "with his face between his knees” before God answered him. After the seventh time, God sent black clouds, a strong wind, and waves of rain. 1 Kings 18:41-46

Jacob kept wrestling with an angel throughout an entire night and said to him, "'I will not let you go unless you bless me.'” Genesis 32:26

Nehemiah "wept and mourned for days, and continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven . . . day and night . . . confessing the sins of the people.” Nehemiah 1:4, 6

Read these examples from the New Testament.

A Canaanite woman, a Gentile, kept asking Jesus to heal her daughter until Jesus finally answered her request. Matthew 15:21-28

Jesus told a parable about a woman who was dealing with an unjust judge. She kept asking him for justice until he finally granted her what she asked for. After telling this story, Jesus said, "'Will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night?'” Luke 18:7

10. There are times when we do not pray according to the will of God.Many times we do know what God's will is since He has revealed it to us in the Bible. At other times, however, we really are not totally sure what God's will is in a specific situation. At such times we must pray the more earnestly for the leading of the Holy Spirit as we seek to discern what God's will is. It is also appropriate in those situations to add to our petitions the phrase, "If it be Your will.”

When we add those words to our prayers, we are not praying with a lack of faith. We simply acknowledge that we know that God's ways are higher than our ways and that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We confess that we know so little and that our understanding is so limited. We also acknowledge that our own desires and motives may not be perfectly pure, so we humbly submit our own desires to God's perfect will.

Read the following Scripture passages about praying according to the will of God.

"And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.” 1 John 5:14-15

Jesus prayed the night before his crucifixion: "'Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.'” Luke 22:42

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” Romans 8:26-27

SUMMARY AND CONCLUSION

By carefully studying what the Bible teaches us about prayer, we learn that there are many reasons why our prayers are sometimes not answered in the way we hope or desire. Many times we are prompted by our "unanswered prayers” to humbly examine our hearts, check our motives, and re-evaluate our desires. Sometimes we may be led to confess hidden sins. At other times we may be moved to exercise greater patience, deeper humility or greater perseverance. And frequently we will be led to recognize and accept the need for spiritual discipline so that we may become the kind of people God wants us to be.

There are also times, however, when we can do nothing more than humbly submit to the sovereign--and sometimes mysterious--will of God. With Job in the Old Testament, we just do not understand why some things happen as they do. With the Psalmist we cry out to God for help in circumstances which are completely beyond our comprehension. We honestly do not know of any reason why the Lord does not answer us. (Read Psalm 22:1-21; Psalm 44:9-25; Psalm 88:1-18.)

In times like that, we can only cast ourselves in humble faith on the unfailing mercies of the Lord, as Jeremiah did after the fall of Jerusalem. He wrote, "For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not afflict from his heart or grieve the children of men.” Lamentations 3:31-33

God graciously invites us to pray and sincerely means what He says when He promises to hear and answer us. At the same time, we must never forget that He is Almighty God and we are but mortal creatures with limited knowledge, limited understanding, and limited holiness. To Him belong the glory and praise for ever!

"Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways! 'For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?' 'Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?' For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.” Romans 11:33-36