Reading: First Principle - Mutual Consent to Choose the Right Time

9 FOUNDATIONAL PRINCIPLES FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION
By Kristine Koetje-Balder

FIRST PRINCIPLE:   MUTUAL CONSENT TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT TIME

Mutual consent and right timing is essential for resolving conflict.
The following are guidelines that will provide help for a decision to choose the right time:
The HALT Principle

The HALT Principle
Hunger and Anger




Being either will make nerves raw and can bring ability to the surface to be irritated.  
The need to eat and stabilize blood sugar will be helpful in preparation for the right time.

The HALT Principle
Hunger and Anger
Anger can be extremely unproductive in resolving conflict and if present, then this is NOT the right time to begin to solve conflict.   
Anger can cause an "amygdala  hijack," and this is an organ that is lodged in the limbic system of the brain, rules our reactions without the benefit of logic or reason, and then can cause our bodies to go into a "fight or flight” response.  
NOTE - a rational brain makes sound decisions. A rational brain processes information at 500 milliseconds, while an emotional brain processes information at 2 milliseconds, which is 250 times faster.
The ability to process rationally to resolve conflict will not be possible. 

The HALT Principle
Loneliness and Tired



When profoundly lonely there can be avoidance and depression. 
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-signs-and-symptoms.htm

Proper rest is also essential for conflict resolution.  
Attention and focus are needed for best outcome in terms of resolution and these skills are markedly reduced with lack of proper rest.

IMPORTANT NOTE
- Be in a position where both individuals involved in the conflict will have ample time, not be hurried, or in a rush. 
These three things will place un-needed pressure on the conversation.

Mutual Consent/Right Time
When the "HALT” principle is not at the forefront and both parties are in a rational state, this would allow for the opportunity to reflect and pray.  
James 1: 2-5 speaks of the patience (in the absence of hurry) and taking the opportunity to pray will lead to answers.  "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”