Reading:Third Principle - Stay in the I Pronoun

THIRD PRINCIPLE -  STAY IN THE "I” PRONOUN
"You” Statements

Examples of you statements will sound like this:
"You are always late"
"Waiting up for you is pointless"
"Counting on you to come home on time is never going to happen"
"You continue to disappoint me by not keeping your word"
"You don't care about anyone else, except yourself."

"I” Statements
Using "I” statements allows the person to take responsibility for their behavior and their own feelings.  
Used correctly, they remove any accusatory tone in the statement and allow the person to express a point without getting a defensive reaction. 
There are three important components to an "I” statement. 
1) Stating your feeling  
2) Connecting the feeling to an issue
3) Stating what you want to have happen.

"I” Statements
The ability to own the feelings allows the spouse to hear more vulnerably and honestly.  
This will allow for a much stronger possibility of the spouse engaging in dialogue and eventual resolution to the conflict.