Reading: House To House - Chapter 8 Leading Through Servanthood

Part II

 Grassroots Leadership Development

Chapter 8

 Leading Through Servanthood

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant . . . (Philippians 2:5-7).

Leadership Means Servanthood

Jesus is our role model for leadership. He was and is the greatest leader who ever lived. He led by being a servant to all of those around Him. He knew who He was because of His intimate relationship with His Father, and out of that relationship He ministered to the needs of individuals.

In the same way, true leaders whom God is using mightily today have these few things in common: they have an intimate relationship with the Father; they know how to pray; they are humble; they are totally dependent on Jesus; and they are servants. If you would observe them when they are not in the spotlight, you would find them serving others.

As a young pastor, I was in Ohio at a leadership meeting and was able to observe a well-known servant of the Lord behind the scenes. He was the kind of person who took every opportunity to notice those around him and was sensitive to their needs. As I watched one day, this man of God led a busboy to the Lord. Then he went out of his way to help this young man find a local church to attend the following weekend. This particular leader served wherever he found an opportunity. His life had a profound impact upon my life. He was a true servant-leader.

Leaders and servants are synonymous in the Body of Christ. When DOVE started, we never used the term "leader” in isolation. We were careful to call our leaders "servant leaders,” which implies true leadership, fashioned after Christ, based on serving others.

There is a saying, "Your life is speaking so loudly that I cannot hear the words you are saying.” Telling others to serve when we're not serving is like a parent telling a child not to smoke, while puffing on a cigarette. When people see that their leaders do not give in to the self-serving spirit of our age but instead serve and lift each other up, they will be encouraged to do likewise.

There are countless ways we may serve others. We can't serve everyone in the world. We can't meet all the needs; but we are called to a small group or house church, and we can start there. Set the standard. Be the example. Help someone move, serve a meal, visit a shut-in, or pray with someone who has a need. There are hundreds of examples I could give of the servanthood that takes place within small groups and house churches.

One group I know of gave time and money so a single mom, worn out by the demands of her young children, could take a vacation. Others have given time freely to help remodel or repaint a room in a member's house or to repair a car. When a small group member came to a meeting one day and announced that her toilet had just broken apart with water gushing everywhere, the leader immediately left the meeting to assist the woman's husband in buying and installing a new toilet. When a leader sets the example, soon others will be doing the same, and the Body of Christ will experience serving as a lifestyle.

A servant leader does not rule over people but rather supports them and lifts them up to God. In the world's system, leaders are expected to dominate those under them, but God has called us to follow the example of His Son, Jesus, and be a servant. By His example, Jesus made it clear that leaders are called to serve.

Jesus Taught His Disciples Servanthood

Jesus called them together and said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave--just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:25-28).

When the mother of James and John came to Jesus and asked if her sons could sit on the right and left hand of His throne in His Kingdom, Jesus told her, "You do not know what you ask.” When the other ten disciples heard about it, they were angry, jealous, and resentful. Jesus responded with these words, "Whoever desires to become a leader must become a slave.” He did not say that it is wrong to be great, or wrong to be a leader; but greatness according to the world system is totally different than greatness from Jesus' perspective.

In John 13 we read that Jesus sent His disciples to prepare the Passover. When Jesus arrived, He realized that there was a problem. The disciples were arguing about who should wash their feet. Since there was no servant present, and it was customary for a servant to wash the feet of the family and guests as they came in from the dusty streets, the disciples were frustrated.

Without a word, Jesus took a towel and wrapped it around Himself. He knelt down and began to wash the disciples' feet. It was too much for Peter to handle. He balked at the idea that Jesus was willing to do the job of a lowly servant. Like Peter, we are sometimes proud and reluctant to be served. Other times, we must strip away our selfishness in order to serve others. In a small group or house church setting, we learn how to serve and to be served.

Leadership Without Servanthood

Rehoboam became king of Israel after Solomon died. He consulted two groups of counselors for wisdom to govern God's people properly. The older group, who had served before his father, Solomon, spoke these words, "If you will be kind to these people and please them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants” (2 Chron. 10:7).

Then Rehoboam went to the younger group who told him to tell the people, "If you thought you had a heavy yoke to bear under my father, just wait. I will be much tougher!” Rehoboam listened to the advice of the young men and lost ten of the twelve tribes of Israel because he didn't obey the biblical principle of serving.

God says that if we serve others and are kind to them, then they will also desire to serve us. Our true motive must be to serve others because Jesus Christ served us unselfishly on the cross 2,000 years ago. As we serve out of a pure heart, our sowing in servanthood will allow us to reap the benefits.

Sowing and Reaping Servanthood

An important key to your success as a leader is for you to serve in the small group or house church setting in which the Lord has placed you. Ask yourself the question, "How can I best serve this group?”

The greatest training for leadership is to be willing to serve, and then to do whatever needs to be done. Be practical. Find something that needs to be done and do it. Greet people at the door, pick up someone who needs a ride, take a meal, clean someone's home, help a family move, or fix a car.

As a leader, you are an example to those in your group, so you need to be setting the standard for servanthood. Like Paul, the apostle, you need to be able to say to those in your group, "Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1).

As you set the example, others will follow. For instance, if you are in a cell-based church, when you serve in some capacity at the Sunday morning congregational meetings, such as car parking, ushering, or children's ministry, those in your small group will be challenged to do the same.

Realize that serving others takes time. As a true servant, take all the time that is necessary to serve others in order to build good, trusting relationships. When you spend time with people in social contacts, or do things with others that are just fun or helpful, you are planting the seeds of friendship that will produce a harvest for God's Kingdom.

How do you respond to a phone call at 2:00 a.m.? You need to respond with the heart of a servant! It may take some practice, but a servant will answer, "Hello! What can I do for you?” Rather than, "Man! Do you know what time it is?” Untimely phone calls can tell us what we are really made of!

If we get upset, we are like a snake rising up, ready to strike out and demand our rights, as we respond out of a wrong spirit. The serpent in the Garden of Eden was only concerned about himself and his "rights.” Actually, we don't have any rights because we've laid them down at the foot of the cross. The Lord gives us privileges and responsibilities.

Jesus gave up His rights as God and went to the cross as a lamb goes to the slaughter. As Jesus laid down His rights as the Lamb of God, we must be willing to lay down our lives for others. This does not mean that we are to be wimps who live with a martyr's complex, but it does mean that we can be so secure as children of God that we will gladly lay down our rights and expectations to help others to be strengthened in Christ. (See Philippians 2:1-16.)

If a neighbor's house is on fire, how do you respond? Do you say, "I hope that big fire truck doesn't drive on my lawn!” or "I hope I don't get smoke in my house”?

No, I'm sure you would say, "I'll do whatever I can to serve my neighbors while they're in this crisis.”

If someone in our small group or house church has a problem, how should we respond? By doing all we can to serve and take care of the problem. Not because it's a big hassle for us and we want to get it over with, but because we want to see this person built strong in Christ. It's not only our actions that are important, but our attitude as well. Lord, teach us to have the heart of a servant.

Hirelings or Shepherds

"I'm sick and tired of people walking all over me.” "Everyone is taking advantage of me.” "No one appreciates what I'm doing.” Those thoughts may cross the mind of every leader sooner or later because servanthood often requires perseverance, and it's not all fun. But if this becomes our attitude, we'll never make it as a servant leader. Remember, we must give up our rights. We take our selfish rights to the cross of Jesus. Then there will be nothing left to hurt us. Paul said, "I die every day” (1 Cor. 15:31).

If we do not act like servants, the Bible calls us "hirelings.” A hireling gets paid to tend the sheep, but when the wolves come, the hireling runs away and leaves the sheep defenseless.

But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them. The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep (John 10:12-13 NKJV).

Hirelings have no personal love for the sheep, no investment of the heart. The Scriptures tell us:

The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith . . . (1 Timothy 1:5).

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth (1 John 3:18).

Hireling leaders of small groups or house churches are those tending sheep with the wrong motivation. They are not true shepherds. Their motivation is only for personal gain and personal pride.

Shepherds are servant leaders who are willing to lay aside their own agendas in order to serve others. There are, of course, times when it is proper for a servant leader to say "no.” Even Jesus left the multitudes and withdrew into the wilderness to pray and be refreshed.

We do need boundaries in our relationships. If we are giving and giving to others or filling an excessive amount of their needs, always saying "yes” rather than saying "no,” we actually hurt the relationships, hindering people from growing and developing on their own. Ask the Holy Spirit to help identify where healthy boundaries will grow relationships rather than limit them. Obviously, our motivation needs to be that the Holy Spirit is leading us to say "no,” not just because we are tired of serving.

The Motivation of a Servant Leader

One day, soon after I was married, I decided to surprise my wife and wash the dishes for her while she was out. I scrubbed the dishes spotless and expected a big thanks from LaVerne when she returned. When she didn't even notice, I had to practically gag myself with my dishcloth to keep from blurting out, "Don't you see what a great job I've done?” I hadn't learned to be a servant. I served for praise, instead of serving because I had the heart of a servant.

The number one motivation of a servant leader is to love God and serve His people out of a heart of love. If our only motivation is to have a good, prosperous, wonderful small group or house church--it is wrong. Our first motivation must be to love Jesus, love His people, and desire to reach those who do not yet believe in Christ. When we do that, the natural result will be a good, healthy, exciting group.

Your motivation as a leader probably will be tested at times. God may bring people into your life who are hard for you to love. Jesus said:

. . . whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me . . . (Matthew 25:40).

One night a young man in a backslidden state stopped by our home. He had been drinking and vomited all over himself and the driveway in front of our home. We took him into our home, loved him, and helped him to get cleaned up. God had given us an opportunity to practice the principles of the Kingdom of God with proper motivation.

Jesus loved the people He served.

When He saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd (Matthew 9:36).

Again, a small group or house church leader's motivation must be that he is moved with compassion. If we don't feel compassion, we must ask God to give it to us. Once we have the mind of Christ, we will eagerly seek those scattered sheep in order to help them.

Sometimes the Lord brings a "brother or sister sandpaper” into our lives. Something about them rubs us the wrong way. The Lord is putting us to the test. If we do not learn the lesson, the Lord will probably bring someone else into our lives who may be even tougher to handle. Welcome to the real world!

The small group and house church setting can give believers the secure atmosphere they need to become mature in the Body of Christ. In small groups and house churches we are being knit together with other people whom we are learning to love as Jesus does, and our Lord continues His good work of building His character in us.

Serving Through Building Relationships

From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work (Ephesians 4:16).

We believe that the "ligaments” the Bible is speaking about refer to relationships in the Body of Christ. Small group and house church meetings are only tools that God uses to build relationships. If a small group leader is not a servant, he gets uptight when people do not come to meetings. If, however, he is a true servant leader, he will always be building relationships with people outside of his group; and they will "beat the doors down” to come to the meetings because they know he cares for them. People recognize sincere servanthood. Children gather at mealtime around their mother and father because they are family. They know that they are loved and their parents care for them. They want to be together.

Some potential small group leaders and house church leaders have a "preacher's itch.” They are more concerned about speaking to others than they are about serving others. It is very noble to want to proclaim God's message to the world; however, our motivation must be to love people. We cannot be motivated by selfish gain or recognition. If we have the heart of a servant, people will come because God builds His Church on loving relationships.

Dwight L. Moody was the Billy Graham of a century ago. He had 1,200 young people in his Sunday school class in Chicago. Many wanted to help him teach. He knew that only servants would have successful classes, so he allowed the young people to go to any class that they wanted. Those teachers who had true servant hearts and were willing to build relationships with these young people had students in their classes. The others did not. This was Moody's screening process for small group leaders.

Serving Through Encouragement

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness (Hebrews 3:13).

Everyone gets discouraged at times. Everyone needs a friend who truly cares, who will listen and be understanding. As a small group or house church leader, you may not be able to personally encourage everybody daily. But you can be a catalyst in helping relationships develop. That way everyone in your group will be encouraged regularly.

A catalyst is an outside substance that speeds up a chemical reaction. In fresh, wet concrete, the calcium is the catalyst that causes it to harden quickly.

For example, as new Christians come into your group, you can pray about which individuals in your group are ready to disciple the new believers. If you sense God telling you that Ross could disciple Tom, a new believer, ask Ross to go along with you and Tom to breakfast or invite both Ross and Tom to your home to see if God would place them together in a relationship. You can be a catalyst in bringing a potential discipleship relationship together, but the Holy Spirit has to do the bonding. It is our job to pray, encourage, and allow God to bring people together because we cannot force relationships to happen.

It is especially important that you encourage a new Christian often. He needs daily contact and encouragement for at least a month after he makes a decision to follow Christ and regular contact for six months to a year. He is a spiritual baby and needs his spiritual "diapers” changed. If a new Christian tells you, "I'm discouraged. I don't know if it is worth the hassle of living for the Lord,” as a true servant, you will pray with him and spend time encouraging him. Then the spiritual baby will say, "I feel much better. Thanks!” It's just a part of helping new Christians grow.

A new tree is very small, fragile and spindly when it's first planted, but it grows larger and stronger. When the roots are grounded, it no longer needs a stake to keep the wind from blowing it over. The same principle applies to new Christians. They need lots of support during their first weeks and months as a Christian.

The greatest ways we can serve the Body of Christ are through prayer and giving regular encouragement. Our responsibility is not to hear from God for other people, but rather, we are called to pray for them so that they can hear God's voice for themselves. We train and build them up by holding them up before God's throne in prayer and by modeling for them our dependency on the Word of God. We can be a godly example to them and discuss appropriate Scriptures with them.

As we care for them and love them, they will soon be built up to hear from God for themselves about decisions that they need to make in their daily lives. The Word of God says:

But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil (Hebrews 5:14).

Serving Those Who Are No Longer Active
in Our Group

Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? (Luke 15:4).

Jesus' first priority was to go after the sheep that left the fold. We need to do the same. When people leave the fellowship that they had with other believers, the enemy is not just sitting nonchalantly in the corner. He is pursuing them.

We are all needy at times. Often when a member is depressed or has sinned and is pressed down with guilt (when he most needs encouragement), he avoids fellow Christians. A small group or house church needs to be a group of believers that is looking out for one another through the unpredictable turns of life. What should we do when someone is no longer active in the group?

It is important that we do not draw conclusions prematurely. Visit the person or give him a phone call or text him. People know when we sincerely care. Find out why he is not coming to the group. Maybe the Lord is calling him to another part of the Body of Christ, or maybe he is discouraged. A sheep that is sick needs attention. He may not respond immediately. Give him time for the Spirit of God to work in his life. But don't forget about him or think, "Oh well, he obviously wasn't committed anyway.” If he is open to it, pray with him and encourage him to return (unless God is calling him to another place).

During the early days of DOVE, we discouraged people from changing from one small group to another, other than when the group multiplied. But we learned through experience that for the health of the small group, it was more important that each person was assured that the Lord had placed him in the group he attended. Sometimes people do not seem to fit into certain small groups of believers. For example, perhaps Tammy and Ray discover they are not comfortable in the group they started attending. They have little in common with the others in the group and have trouble relating. In these cases we encourage Tammy and Ray to visit some other small groups or house churches until they find their niche. When Tammy and Ray are candid with their small group leader or house church leader about their struggle to fit in, he can help them find the best place for them.

A small group or house church leader should never feel insecure when people leave the group to find another, but rather he should confirm his love and acceptance of the person who struggles to fit in. A small group or house church leader knows that people are like pieces to a puzzle. Some pieces fit together and others do not. When God's people are fit together properly by the Holy Spirit, they will experience the Lord's peace.

The Elijah Training Principle

Elijah the prophet lived out a spiritual principle that the Lord requires small group leaders, house church leaders, pastors, and other Christian leaders to live out in this generation. After suffering from deep depression, Elijah heard his God speak through a still, small voice. The Lord instructed him to recruit Elisha as an "apprentice” and train him to take his place (see 1 Kings 19:11-16). When Elisha asked Elijah for a double portion of his spirit, Elijah gave him clear instructions to receive this "double anointing.” After Elijah's departure, Elisha performed twice as many miracles as Elijah.

My prayer for those I am responsible to disciple and train is that they may be used of God in a much greater way than I have been used. Jesus told His disciples that those who trusted in Him would do the works He does and even greater works (see John 14:12). And John the Baptist, a type of New Testament Elijah, stated clearly, "He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30). John's whole life was consumed with preparing the way for Jesus. The Lord has called us as small group and house church leaders, pastors, and Christian leaders to do the same--to see Jesus and others increase as we decrease. This must be our motivation. We are preparing servant leaders for the next generation.

In the next chapters we will take an in-depth look at the biblical qualifications and responsibilities of a small group and house church leader.

Questions for Practical Application

1.What must be the heart motive of true spiritual leaders?

2.What is the difference between a servant (shepherd) and a hireling?

3.Give an example of serving through building relationships and serving through encouraging others.