Reading: House to House - Chapter 11 The Meetings

Chapter 11

 

The Meetings

 

 

n a church with small groups (a cell-based church), there are two distinct meetings--the larger Sunday morning celebration service and the small groups that meet during the week in homes. The dynamics of the small group meetings are completely different from the Sunday morning celebration meetings. In the small groups, everyone has the opportunity to share life experiences and openly address others in the group, but the larger celebration is a time for corporate worship and teaching.

In a house church, the dynamic is often much different. House churches work so that each small church functions as a little church, a place where God's people experience community, worship, teaching, and pastoral care. Although healthy house churches normally network with other house churches within a network, the house church is the main focus for the local church and not the network itself.

In light of this, wise house church and small group leaders will ask the Lord for wisdom, knowing that each house church and small group needs to be tailor-made to fit the needs of the people involved. Some need more teaching, some more community, and others need to be challenged to move out in evangelism.

Since both the small group and the house church involve a small number of people, there are not as many spiritual gifts available as there are in a larger meeting. For example, there may not be anyone in the small group or house church gifted as a worship leader, yet at a weekend celebration meeting or network gathering there may be many worship leaders. So then, the purpose of the small group meeting in a cell-based church is not to try to be a miniature celebration meeting, but instead to be a safe environment for the Lord's people to share their lives together, pray, discuss the Word of God, and receive a vision from the Lord to reach those who do not yet follow Christ.

Within a small group setting, learning about "practical Christian living” is anticipated. In small groups we grow in spiritual maturity because we learn to accept and love our brothers and sisters unconditionally. It's a place where we pray for each other's brokenness as we witness the healing work of Jesus. Compassion surrounds us, and encouragement lightens our loads. When we hear what God is teaching others in their personal lives, it teaches us these same principles. The small group setting becomes a workshop where we learn about serving, accountability, prayer, and worship. It is where we can be brought as believers to a place of strength and maturity. We learn about practical Christian living as we watch over one another, knowing that as we serve, we are all growing stronger in Christ.

 

Choosing a Place for the Meeting for Both Cell Groups and House Churches

Every believer should be involved in the particular small group or house church that would release him to be fulfilled in his walk with God while at the same time serving others. It may or may not be with people in his local community. The church is built by relationships. Even though most people serve alongside believers in their own geographical area, they may initially drive many miles to serve with other believers with whom the Lord has placed them for a particular season of time. If a small group or house church receives them, people should have the freedom to go to the group where they believe God has called them, where they feel a unity and oneness or homogeneity with their fellow believers.

Sometime during our early years as a church, we decided to require small group attendees to get involved in a group that was within the closest proximity to where they lived. The principle was right. It is often more effective to relate to the people within our own geographical area rather than drive miles out of the way to attend a small group meeting; however, we soon learned that this advice cannot be dictated. The Holy Spirit is the one who builds people together in relationships. It soon became apparent that some people felt pressured to attend a small group nearby when in reality they had built relationships and felt bonded to others from a more distant small group. Also, this principle didn't work for homogenous small groups, which drew people with the same basic interests and experiences but often from diverse geographical areas.

After we realized that we had made a mistake, we repented and released the people to listen to the Holy Spirit and do what He told them to do. As spiritual leaders, we must be sensitive to those we serve. We constantly have the choice between leading by the letter of the law or by the Holy Spirit. Today it is interesting to notice that most people in our family of churches are involved in a small group or house church in their geographical area. They are in relationship with these people because they want to be, not because church leadership requires it.

When deciding where your small group or house church will meet, the following are some things to consider. Is the location central for the majority of the people in your group? Does it have a large enough room for the group to gather in with space for newcomers? If needed, is there a separate room for children's ministry? Does the place offer a comfortable and relaxing atmosphere to adults and children as well? If the group meets in a home, are the hosts financially able to meet the needs that hosting a group involves? This question is of special significance in cultures where serving coffee, tea, and cookies or biscuits is expected.

Sometimes the small groups and house churches meet in the same home until the group multiplies or the location is no longer suitable. Other groups find it much more advantageous to rotate to various homes of the members. Those who are willing to host the meetings are exercising the gift of hospitality and are not burdened by having the church meet in their homes.

 

Meeting Time and Format for Small Groups and House Churches

In the past at DOVE, most small groups met twice a month, and then they were encouraged to meet together to pray during the "off week.” Today, many DOVE churches do it differently. Some small groups have found it most effective to meet together each week. Sometimes groups will alternate a regular meeting with an outreach or game night. Other times the women will meet separately from the men on the off weeks. The men or women may get together for breakfast or go bowling. Believers in house churches usually meet together weekly.

Since the small group meeting and relationships are a priority in cell-based churches, believers should be spending at least as much time in some type of a small group context as in other types of church meetings. We are not minimizing the effectiveness of meetings of congregations or larger corporate celebrations. They are also important, but the New Testament church did both. They met in public meetings and from house to house (see Acts 20:20).

It is important that you follow the leading of the Holy Spirit when you conduct your small group and house church meetings. A helpful hint is to be prepared! Have a schedule and stick to it, unless you know that the Spirit is leading otherwise. There is no excuse to say you are "following the Holy Spirit” if in actuality you are unprepared. Many times we say we are Spirit-led when in reality we have been lazy and undisciplined. This is a disgrace to our Lord and to His people. To waste people's time shows poor leadership.

Prayer should be planned as a vital part of your time together. Ask someone beforehand to open with prayer. Have a time for intercession and praise. Give everyone an opportunity to pray. Be helpful and encouraging when people are learning to pray out loud.

One of the men in a small group that I led some years ago was afraid to pray publicly. He knew that he had to deal with this fear. He asked me to request that he pray in front of the other men in the group when we met together every other week before work. As I asked him to pray and encouraged him, he went on to lead various small groups in the years that followed. He just needed some encouragement and accountability in the small-group setting.

Teach people to pray. Encourage short conversational prayers. Explain the importance of praying in agreement according to Matthew 18:19-20:

Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in My name, there am I with them.

I am hesitant to give guidelines for what should happen at a small group or house church meeting because I believe it is so easy to trust the format rather than being truly open to what the Holy Spirit wants you to do. But so many pastors and small group leaders have asked me to discuss these guidelines that I believe I need to address this subject.

Many times small group meetings include a time of worship, testimonies, a short teaching (approximately 15 to 20 minutes), a time for response to the teaching, announcements, prayer, and sharing of life together. The format can be changed and altered in a thousand ways. You do not have to do all of these things, or in reality you do not need to do any of these things. Every time you come together should be different. Do not get stuck in a rut.

Every effort should be made to start and end your meetings on the agreed times. Be respectful of other people's time, especially parents of babies and school children who must study. Unless you are clearly led otherwise, I encourage you to keep the actual teaching and discussion part of the meeting to about one hour.

 

House Church Meetings

Although there are many similarities between small group meetings and house church meetings, house churches often take a bit of a different approach to their meetings. Some house churches have four basic components to the meeting, including eating, meeting, small groups, and "the meeting after the meeting.” Most house church meetings start with a potluck meal as a vital part of the church meeting, and continue on to include a time of worship, teaching, and discussion. Many house church meetings last a total of two to three hours.

One of the problems in some house churches is a lack of biblical teaching. In light of this, many house churches are a part of a house church network and often meet together corporately one time each month for a larger expression of worship and biblical teaching. The time allotted for teaching may be a bit longer in a house church then in a cell group. Teaching can take many forms; from a house church member giving a teaching, to reading and discussing Scripture, to watching a Bible teacher on a DVD or online, to having a guest speaker in the house church teach from the Scriptures.

If the house church is larger than five to six people, we encourage them to break down into even smaller groups for the last part of the house church meeting to pray for each other and be open with one another often in gender-specific groups. This also provides an excellent training opportunity for future house church leaders to begin to experience spiritual leadership.

Finally, "the meeting after the meeting” happens! The time following the meeting is full of opportunities for sharing and meeting the spiritual needs of people. This is often the most important time of the meeting. Those who must leave may go, and those who want to seek help from the leader or others in the group are free to do so. Many times after meetings, clusters of people gather together for informal fellowship to talk heart to heart and pray together. These times are invaluable as our fellow believers surround us with compassion and give us the courage to keep going so we will be able to stand tall, embodying the very fullness of Christ (see Eph. 4:11-16). Here's a good description of this time from a book I co-authored with Floyd McClung, entitled Starting a House Church:

In most conventional churches, people are ready to go home right after the service. Not so in house church. These people love being together. Actual meeting times may last one hour or three or more hours--whatever it takes to allow for adequate participation from everyone.¹

Whether in a small group or house church setting, we must remember our mission--to pray, reach those who do not trust Jesus and make disciples. Unless we keep our eyes firmly fixed on our mission, we may forget why we are together. The enemy may deceive us and put us to sleep spiritually while the world goes to hell around us.

 

Experiencing Worship in a Community Setting

Worship is a vital part of any small group, but sometimes we struggle with how to approach it in a smaller group setting because we often try to re-create a traditional Sunday-style worship service. Although the New Testament suggests that Christian worship incorporates the singing of hymns and psalms (see Eph. 5:19), prayer (see 1 Cor. 11:4-5), vocal thanksgiving (see Eph. 5:20; Heb. 13:15), and instruction (see 1 Cor. 14:26; Col. 3:16), in a small group, worship should be far more.

We must understand that what makes us the people of God is the fact that we are a worshiping community. We were created to worship a living God. This means that we are people of worship--a community of people who center ourselves on the Lord. God desires that worship holds a central place in our lives because He wants our hearts. So, in a small group setting, worship is not just singing songs to the Lord in our living rooms. Worship compels us to work through our problems and difficulties of relationships so that when we come before God in praise, we can do so without relational issues getting in the way.

Our act of worship includes the ways in which we live, the ways in which we serve God in our small group or in the community and workplace during the week. We should live as an act of worship that seeks to bring glory to our God and give back to Him the worship He deserves. In the context of worship, everyone can experience God and hear Him speak.

 

Worship Leaders

If possible, each small group and house church should try to have at least one person designated to lead the group in worship. If a person is selected for this ministry, he does not need to play an instrument--although many do--but should be able to lead in worshipful singing to the Lord.

Worship leaders can also make use of music CDs that enhance the times of singing to the Lord. Cell members and house church participants can be encouraged to come to the meetings with a song or a hymn to share with the group. When everyone feels a sense of responsibility for what happens at the meeting, you can expect the Lord to move through His body in a powerful way.

The worship leader should stick to the allotted time given by the small group or house church leader for the worship period. He also should have song sheets available for new members who would be uncomfortable worshiping without knowing the words.

 

Ministering to the Children

Many times small groups or house churches that have families with children provide ministry time for the older children or nursery for the younger ones. You could either have a regular leader for the children or have different people in the group take turns. Sometimes people from one small group or house church will serve the children in another group if the two groups meet at different times. Whatever you do, do not place the children in front of the television set as a babysitter; however, the use of Christian videos with a responsible teacher is appropriate as a part of the ministry to children.

We think it is best for two people to minister together to the children. In a day when child abuse has reached the proportions that it has (statistics now tell us that one out of every three girls and one in seven boys will be sexually assaulted before they reach the age of eighteen), two ministering together for the purpose of accountability is advisable.

Some small groups and house churches gear the entire meeting to minister to the families as a whole because they find this format the most advantageous for their group. The children are part of the worship, prayer, sharing, and ministry. We must listen to the Holy Spirit for His direction on these matters. What is right for one group may not be right for another.

When our daughter Charita was twelve years old, she felt a special call to serve the younger children in our small group. She used her organizational and teaching gifts to gather materials together suitable for Bible stories. She planned craft activities and collected prizes to give to the children when they learned their Bible verses, as well as planned skits, puppet shows, and games. The kids loved it and looked forward to coming to the group because they felt included and cared for.

Some small groups and house churches have a special youth night or children's night. On these nights the youth in the group plan the entire meeting. Other times the children may give a special program. Be creative and look to the children to be creative and imaginary. Intergenerational small groups can be the most fun as they incorporate the gifts and maturity levels of each generation.

Release the children to minister to the small group. Children have faith that is deeper than adults many times. Children can lay hands upon the sick and pray for the sick. Children can prophesy and speak into the life of the group. Children can work on a skit to present to the group at the close of the meeting. Jesus embraced children, and so should our small groups and house churches.

 

Handling the Group's Finances

In cell-based churches, many times small groups take occasional offerings and keep the money available for emergencies in the group. (This is not our tithe but an offering for service to others.) The money is then used by the group to purchase flowers for someone in a hospital or recovering from an illness or to give groceries to a needy family.

It is a good rule of thumb for the small group leader or assistant leader to be the treasurer for this fund. The fund is of great help when money is needed quickly. This way the need to collect money from everyone for each emergency is eliminated. Usually the emergency financial need can be met by the group, but if more help is needed, a network of small groups may get involved.

In house churches, the tithes and offerings are received at the house church. Most house churches serve within the guidelines of their particular house church network so they can properly administrate the funds with integrity and accountability. In cases where a great deal of money is needed and it is beyond that which the local small group or house church can handle financially, the leader is encouraged to contact the local pastor, house church network leaders, or someone who is designated within the local congregation or house church network to handle this responsibility. A special "deacon's fund” financed by a percentage of the tithes to the church may be available if needed.

 

Small Group Social Activities

Small group and house church leaders should periodically initiate activities for their groups to further build relationships. Outings, civic tasks, serving others, eating together, and local evangelistic outreaches are just a few examples of the kinds of activities in which a group can participate.

People who are gifted in the area of organization may be assigned to help plan activities. It helps to delegate responsibility to others, because it will give people a sense of kinship. Remember, small groups and house churches are called to be teams, working together to build the Kingdom of God in a given area. And please do not forget, our primary focus needs to be prayer and reaching those who do not yet follow Jesus.

It is not necessary for each activity to include everyone in the group. Believers can get together for a baseball game or for a craft session. There are many activities in which to participate in order to reach those who do not yet believe in Christ.

Small groups and house churches can also meet for breakfast or for a meal during a day off or over a lunch break. Another option is to combine activities for an entire section of small groups or a house church network. Before finalizing any plans for a combined event, though, it is best for leaders to check with their local pastor or house church network overseer to make sure this event does not conflict with another church function of which they are unaware.

 

Birthdays and Anniversaries

Birthdays and anniversaries are an important part of our lives. Some of the believers whom the Lord has placed in your small group or house church may not have a family who cares about them, or their families may live in another state or area. Remembering birthdays, anniversaries, and other special events with cards, an occasional party, or other rememberances can be a tremendous source of encouragement.

Perhaps someone in the small group or house church could compile a list of birthdays and anniversaries that could be photocopied and passed out to the entire group. As the group grows and multiplies, this list will become outdated, but the information can still be used as relationships continue even after multiplication.

 

Snacks and Food

Most house churches include food as an important part of their house church meetings. Having food can be a real blessing, but care must be taken that it does not become competitive or a burden to anyone. Some small groups only serve snacks on special occasions, such as birthday parties or other celebrations. In some cases, having snacks at the conclusion of each meeting could be distracting to what the Holy Spirit is doing. If you meet in various homes week to week, the person or family that is opening their home may feel pressure to do something that someone else has done but may not have the time or the finances. This could cause unnecessary tension. Be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and clearly communicate to everyone in your small group or house church what you think the Lord is saying about this.

 

Water Baptism

Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 2:38).

God's will is for new believers to be added to the church daily! When a new believer comes into the group, the small group or house church leader should inquire if he was baptized in water. If he has not been, the leader or another believer in the group can serve that person by baptizing him. The local pastor or house church network overseer may also be available to give training in this area. They can help the small group or house church leader with the details of locating a proper place for the baptism. We have used swimming pools, bathtubs, rivers--anywhere there was water available for a baptism. Take this opportunity to teach new believers the purpose of water baptism from the Scriptures.

Water baptism signifies our "death” in Christ and our "resurrection” with Him into new life as we come out of the water. Have a time of prayer for the person. Many times words of prophecy will be given at this time.

Often the entire small group or house church and the person's family will be in attendance, which provides an opportunity for witnessing and celebrating. Sometimes the new convert will give his or her testimony during the baptism. Romans 6:1-10 provides a great text from which to explain the Gospel at the water baptism site.

 

Communion; Love Feasts

Each small group and house church has the liberty to celebrate the Lord's Supper as often as it wishes in the small group setting. It is a vital part of the Christian life to remember and meditate on the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. Paul stressed it was the most important issue he could preach, ". . . Jesus Christ, and Him crucified” (1 Cor. 2:2).

It is important that the communion time is worshipful, with a sense of celebration. The leader can read or discuss passages such as First Corinthians 11:23-26, or passages on the Last Supper from the Gospels, about the death and resurrection of Jesus. Sometimes it can be very meaningful to have someone in the group sing a special song or background music could be played to encourage the people as they share communion together.

Some of the house churches and small groups in DOVE churches have had a meaningful and spiritual time of washing each other's feet as a symbol of servanthood, or some have had a love feast (a meal together) as found in John 13. Care must be given to properly explain and adequately prepare for such special times, but the outcome can be a tremendous blessing for each member of the group.

 

Baby Dedication

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord. And he worshiped the Lord there (1 Samuel 1:27-28).

When a newborn is dedicated to the Lord, it is a special time for the entire group as well as for relatives of the child who may not be a part of the small group, the house church, or the local congregation. It can be a time of joy and a powerful testimony. The group should affirm their willingness to help the parents in training the child for the glory of God.

Sometimes the small group or house church leader will read the story of the infant Jesus' dedication found in Luke 2 and allow the parents to express their commitment to bring up the child in the loving discipline and instruction of the Lord.

In a cell-based church, the small group leader should communicate with the local pastor regarding the new baby's dedication in the small group setting. At times, baby dedications are handled at the congregational level and other times at the small group level. Sometimes both are settings are used.

 

How Many People Should Be in a Group?

Jesus' small group consisted of twelve disciples. Moses encouraged small groups of ten. Ten to twelve adults in a group seems to be an ideal number of people to serve together. New groups only need a few people to start. If two or three gather in His name, He is in their midst! When the group grows to 20 or more adults, it can become a bit too large to be effective. The key to starting new groups is leadership. If leadership is not adequately prepared to start a new small group or house church, wait until leaders are properly equipped. People who are involved in small groups without clear leadership often become disillusioned.

One of our small groups a few years back had more than 80 people in it. That group was larger than the average church in America! But we had to wait until leadership was released for the group to multiply.

When a group becomes large, another unforeseen problem may come into existence. Where do you park all the cars when you meet together at someone's home residence? Often the overflow spills onto the side of the street or road and can be a potential problem for neighbors. In this case, we suggest that members try to carpool whenever possible. Respect for the community must always be observed. Cars should never be parked where they interfere with traffic flow or neighbors' properties.

 

Commissionings

Whenever someone in the small group or house church is going out on a mission trip, or into a ministry, or moving to another small group or area, the entire group is given opportunity in commissioning them. This commissioning should not take place on the spur of the moment. It should be announced well in advance so that no one is taken by surprise. During the time of commissioning, have the members lay their hands on the person or persons, and as many as are led by the Lord should pray. At this time, prophecy and words of wisdom and knowledge may also be given.

Commissionings are also encouraged when multiplying a new small group and house church or when confirming new leaders or assistant leaders from within the group. Communication with the local pastor or house church network overseer prior to this is important. If the pastor or overseer can be involved in the commissioning, it gives the Lord's people a sense of being linked to a movement of God, not just to a small group of people.

We believe that many Christians in the future will see the church as believers meeting in clusters of small groups in a given locality. These clusters of small groups and house churches will network together with other congregations to affect their communities for Jesus Christ. By concentrating on relationships rather than structure, small groups and house churches give everyone an opportunity to be involved, and people feel like they are part of a family.

In the next chapter, we will take a look at a variety of leadership skills an individual needs to lead a small group or house church so that members can experience healthy community in the group and also a clear vision to multiply.

 

 

Questions for Practical Application

1.   When a specific need of a small group or house church member is communicated to the leader(s), what steps can be taken to help meet this need?

 

2.   What can a small group do to minister to the children? How can the children minister to the group?

 

3.   When some members of a small group or house church sense that they are to join another group, what can the present leaders do to honor this person?

Chapter 11

1. Larry Kreider & Floyd McClung, Starting a House Church (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 2007), 104.