Reading: House to House - Chapter 12 Skills for Leading

Chapter 12

Skills for Leading

 

 

Be Flexible and Creative

To keep the meetings vibrant, don't settle into a dull routine. Plan well ahead for new activities. Talk with other small groups and house churches to find out what they are doing. Ask the people in your group periodically for suggestions. Resource books such as Creative Ideas for Cell Groups and Starting a House Church can be helpful resources for you.¹

On occasion, when someone in the group is in need, go to his or her home to help him or her instead of having the regular meeting. One night our small group met, and we realized that the one couple was missing because they had fallen behind in their yard work. Rather than scolding them for missing the meeting, we laid aside our plans for the meeting and went to their home and helped them. It was a tremendous time ministering to them in a practical way.

Other times we have joined another small group (or the whole section or house church network) for an evening together. These kinds of alternatives help keep the group flexible.

 

Call People by Their Names

In America, it is important that you know the people in your group on a first-name basis. Although other nations and cultures may require the use of proper names or family names, Americans usually address people by their first name as a common courtesy. In a small group setting, this kind of friendly familiarity draws people out and encourages them to participate. As you make use of illustrations and parables as you teach, employ the names of the people in the group as often as possible. It makes people feel important, and they should, because God thinks they are!

Jesus, the Good Shepherd, knows each of His sheep and calls them by name. As the leader spends time in prayer for each person in his group on a daily basis, he will find it will not take long until he knows each name by heart.

In case you have real difficulty remembering names, here is a helpful tip: When meeting someone and hearing his name for the first time, think of someone else you know who has the same name. It could be the name of a friend or family member or a character in the Bible. Then remember that name every time you think of the new person until you have it memorized.

 

Don't Put People on the Spot

Try to get everyone to participate in the meeting; however, it is important that you do not embarrass people by having them read Scripture, or pray, or explain a verse if they are uncomfortable with this. Some people in the small group or house church you may know well enough to be certain that they would not object. If you are not sure, you should ask them prior to the meeting. Give them the freedom to decline if they need to.

I have a friend who was put on the spot in a Sunday school class as the class members were reading the Scriptures one person at a time. My friend had difficulty reading and was so uncomfortable and embarrassed that it took twenty years to get enough courage to go back to a Sunday school class. A sensitive leader could have saved my friend a lot of pain.

Ask Matt if he is willing and ready to give a public testimony before telling the group he has something to share. Encourage timid Christians to be open, but speak with them privately about it first.

Introverted or shy people are best reached by gaining their confidence after the meeting. If there is someone who sits in the corner and hesitates to join in, make a point of spending time with him in casual conversation a few times and gradually enlist him to take part in the meeting and activities. Remember how you felt when you were a new Christian.

 

Teaching Tips

In the small-group setting in a cell-based church, people do not gather to receive "deep teaching.” Such in-depth teaching can be received at the larger celebration meetings (where there is a focus on teaching God's Word), at training events, through reading books and listening to teaching CDs. A teaching presented during the meeting should be short, with comments and response for practical application. We recommend that these messages last about ten to fifteen minutes.

Since it could become a burden for many small group leaders to study and prepare a new teaching for each meeting, some churches provide CDs containing a Bible teaching, along with a set of notes for the small group leader, well in advance of the meetings. The leader then is responsible to get the teaching into his spirit first, as preparation, before teaching it. This resource allows the small group leader, who is probably working a full-time job, to put more time into prayer and practical discipleship.

A prepared teaching is not a requirement to teach, but an option as each leader prays about what the Lord wants the group to do together each week. The leaders are encouraged, however, to study the teaching that is prepared as personal training and development for them as leaders even if they don't use it to teach. Some churches provide notes from the Sunday sermon to use in small group teaching and discussion times. In a house church, teaching is often more important since the believers do not receive biblical teaching each Sunday at a weekend service.

Every small group and house church is at a different place spiritually. If the people in the group are largely new believers, the teachings should be much different compared to a group that has all mature believers who need to be motivated and stirred to reach those who do not yet believe Christ.

When I served as senior pastor, members of our small groups received further training by taking extended training courses we offered throughout the year, including biblical teaching on marriage,² personal finances, teachings applicable to youth, training children, prayer, operating in the gifts of the Spirit, evangelism, church planting, etc. This provided ample opportunity to receive specific biblical training.

Those who teach in both small groups and in house churches are encouraged to use modern-day parables, stories that apply to the lives of God's people. Jesus constantly taught with stories. The people remembered the story, and then they remembered the spiritual truth. A key to teaching is to be a good storyteller. Some years ago I developed an interest in Dwight L. Moody, the famous evangelist of the 19th century. I remember my amazement when I picked up a book of his sermons. They were filled with stories. John Wesley used to rehearse his sermons in the presence of his 9-year-old servant girl. If she could understand it, then he would give the message publicly.

Again, I want to emphasize that each small group and house church is encouraged to do whatever is most effective for their group to be reaching those who do not yet believe in Christ and making disciples. If someone needs healing in the group or has a friend who is sick, perhaps there should be a short teaching on healing with a time of prayer for the sick.

Some small groups and house churches may listen to a CD or watch a DVD of a teaching. Then they take their Bibles and discuss the truths that were taught and help one another apply them to their personal lives. Other small groups and house churches have used DOVE's Biblical Foundation Series³ books as teaching formats or used other printed materials.

Another refreshing thing that can happen is to invite a person with the spiritual gift of apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor, or teacher into your small group or house church to minister to God's people. These "circuit riders” can impart more under the anointing of the Holy Spirit in one evening than you could imagine. The question to ask is: What will be the most effective thing for our group to do for every person to know Jesus in an intimate way and fulfill the Great Commission?

 

Maintain Order

Keep the meeting moving and alive. Whoever has been given responsibility for a particular part of the meeting must be enthusiastic about his part, or the meeting will falter and be of no benefit. People will be bored.

If there are those who constantly interrupt, they should be gently confronted with the truth that they need to "consider others as more important than themselves.” First Corinthians 14:26 tells us:

What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a hymn, or a word of instruction, a revelation, a tongue or an interpretation. All of these must be done for the strengthening of the church.

Nothing should be permitted to take place that does not line up with the Scriptures or quenches the Holy Spirit. For example, one evening I was leading a meeting when one of the men began to "pray” in a tongue that sent chills up my spine. There was something drastically wrong. I turned the meeting over to someone else and along with another Christian brother took this man into another room to minister to him. It became apparent that he needed deliverance and the voice he was "praying” in was the voice of a demon.

If you feel that your meetings are getting out of hand because one person monopolizes the time, you may need to encourage that person who is overly verbal to allow others time to talk. Ask him to stick to a time limit.

If someone takes the meeting "down a side street” by getting off the subject, you can tactfully tell him that you will be happy to talk to him privately about it after the meeting. This way you can honor him as a person, and you can keep the meeting from becoming boring for the rest of the people.

 

Utilize Gifts of the Spirit

Each person in the small group and house church should be learning how to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's promptings. For example, the leader should encourage each person to contribute to the supernatural life of the group. A close-knit group will provide an ideal setting to step out and begin exercising the gifts of the Spirit. As God directs, the leader needs to be sensitive and remember that it is a bit scary to give a prophecy or a word of knowledge for the first time.

The first time that I prophesied I was in a group of three people. I was so scared, my palms were sweaty, but at the encouragement of my two brothers in Christ I took a step of faith and prophesied for the first time.

Often the Holy Spirit will activate gifts in people during a time of worship or prayer, but opportunity must be given for the Holy Spirit to do His work. Invite Him to come among you and give Him liberty to operate in the group.

The Holy Spirit may give one person a prophecy. He may give another a word of wisdom or a word of knowledge (see 1 Cor.12:8). He may call you to take some time for gifts of healing or the working of miracles to flow.

The gifts of the Holy Spirit have been given to us to edify the church, to minister to those who have not yet accepted Christ, and to confound the unbelieving (see 1 Cor. 14). The small group or house church is the place for training and releasing the gifts of the Holy Spirit so that these gifts become a part of our everyday lives as we reach out in faith to pray for miracles for people in a hurting world.

As a small group or house church leader, you may sense a "stirring in your heart.” Don't be afraid to express this to the others in the group. Sometimes that's all the encouragement needed in order for someone to step out in faith. Small group and house church members may give words of wisdom and knowledge to others in the group, and healing will flow.

If the Holy Spirit tells you to have a time of kneeling down in prayer, that is exactly what you should do. A deep prayer session may be the most moving and exciting thing your group may ever experience. To allow God to move will truly be the best thing your small group or house church can do. Always be sensitive to new people in the group. Explain to them in private from the Scriptures why you do certain things.

All in all, the small group or house church is a gathering God is using in the Christian's school of the Holy Spirit. Personal prophecies can be given with the understanding that "we prophesy in part” and that there are proper ways to process that type of a word from the Lord.

Sometimes it is wise if personal prophecies can be recorded or written down to be given to the local church leadership, pastor, or house church network leadership for confirmation. The Bible tells us to "test all things” and "do all things properly and in an orderly manner.” It is best that personal prophecies not be given outside or in a corner somewhere without someone in leadership present. This will ensure proper spiritual protection to the person giving the personal prophecy as well as to the person receiving it. It will also help alleviate anyone being misled or improperly responding to the prophetic word that they have received.

If a small group or house church has a lack of experience in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, my suggestion would be to invite someone into the group who has a prophetic gift to equip the believers in this area. After a few weeks of equipping by a prophetic minister, the people in the group will find a new freedom to operate in the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

 

Find a Fit for New Believers

Since the small group in a cell-based church is the place for each believer to become actively involved in their church, each new person should be encouraged to become involved in a small group as soon as they can.

Ralph Neighbour, Jr. says in Where Do We Go From Here?:

As the cells grow, many small congregations will be formed. However, they do not replace the cells as the most significant part of church life. For example, no one ever joins a congregation; the only available link to its ministry is to join a cell.⁴

Several times during our first years as a church, we closed down our Sunday celebration meetings for a month. During this time, everyone met in homes in small groups on Sunday mornings. Not only does this strengthen the groups (the underground church), but it also does not give an option for believers to be involved in a Sunday morning celebration without becoming involved in the life of the church--the small group aspect of the church. These were often rewarding times. Several years ago when the Lord impressed on us to stop meeting in celebrations for one month and instead meet in homes on Sunday mornings, 100 people were added to small groups within the church.

The local pastor of a cell-based church may ask a small group leader to call or visit some of these new people to give them information about their group. If, for some reason, the newcomers do not feel at home in the small group that is recommended, the small group leader refers them back to the local pastor or other church leader who will continue to assist them. We encourage these new people to pray and ask the Lord where He wants them to serve.

Since DOVE started, we have felt impressed of the Lord to ask for two types of people to be added to His Church: pre-Christians and believers who are called by the Lord to labor with us in building His Church from house to house and reaching the pre-Christians. In other words, some of the people being directed to our small group or house church may already be Christians who need to be joined to a local church and others may be new believers from a totally unchurched background who may have had little or no Bible background.

In the small group and house church, the more mature Christians can quickly be trained to disciple younger ones in the Lord. This is God's plan for bringing His body to maturity. It's important that everyone is discipled and trained in the basics of the Christian life.

 

Understand What Your Group Believes

If a new believer wants to become a part of the small group or house church, he needs to know what they believe. Every local church and house church network should have a systematic way of sharing the Scriptures so individuals can understand exactly what they believe. Just as each family has a particular way of doing things, so each church family has various scriptural understandings and expectations. A church needs to be clear about what its members believe concerning important issues and biblical doctrines.

Most DOVE churches encourage newcomers to go through a "Biblical Foundation Series” to help believers understand basic biblical truths. The course currently consists of twelve teachings on DVDs that can be viewed on Sunday mornings at the celebration service, in the small group or house church setting during the week or in an individual's home.

These twelve sessions help us understand who we are as a church and assist us in knowing what we believe. In many DOVE cell-based churches, anyone in a small group who has not taken the course is encouraged to do so before expressing commitment to the church in the small group. Viewing these videos periodically as a group, especially when new members come in, is an excellent way to help a new person get established in the small group. This training is also available for house churches.

These same Biblical Foundations are also accessible in a twelve-book series.⁵ They are often utilized by small group leaders and house churches to disciple new believers and familiarize those who are new to the church with the basic spiritual principles the Lord has given us as a church family.

In the same way that every family is unique and varied, each church family has its own set of family guidelines. Either a Biblical Foundation Course or a similar substitute will help new persons make a final decision concerning where the Lord may be placing them in the Body of Christ.

 

Dissolve a Stagnant Group

To maintain healthy small groups and house churches, the groups will eventually need to multiply. Sometimes this is easier said than done. People often tend to get comfortable in their group. We have had groups that were together for quite some time without multiplying, and they were satisfied with their experiences of mutual support, often forgetting their mission to reach out.

A problem with that is that the closer we look at our faces in the mirror each morning, the more imperfections we see. In the small group and house church setting, if we just sit around and look at each other and forget our mission to reach out, we can quickly begin to dwell on the imperfections that we see in one another. This will inevitably lead us down a road of disillusionment and decline.

When a small group or house church leader and others in the group sense they have become spiritually stagnant, with no one desiring to multiply another group from the parent one, they realize they may need to eventually dissolve or discontinue altogether. This is not always an easy task for the leader.

It is helpful to have the local pastor or the network leadership of a house church involved in the process of a small group or house church that dissolves. This is another reason why house churches should be connected to a network of other house churches, so that there are external godly leaders to help them to process these kinds of changes. Often a spiritual overseer that we are in relationship with will have the grace and experience to help the members to quickly find their place in another group before the enemy can sow seeds of discouragement and confusion into their lives.

Sometimes when a small group or house church dissolves, it takes a period of time for believers to get involved in another group. It can be helpful for the small group or house church leader to start a "transition group” that he leads temporarily to support God's people and help them discern their future small group involvement.

 

The Multiplication Process

The healthy process of multiplication in human cells is called "mitosis.” It is multiplication by dividing. One cell becomes two, and each continues to grow until they, too, divide and separate to become four cells.

All small groups and house churches should eventually multiply. But they first go through different stages. Each small group and house church goes through a period of gestation (growth and learning) before it can give birth to a new group.

For a new small group or house church, the first few months is a good time for sharing testimonies and building new relationships. Everyone could explain how they came to the Lord, how they were filled with the Holy Spirit, and other life-changing experiences. It is very healthy to discuss these spiritual experiences. It is in this way that people begin to be knit together and understand more about each other. It also provides opportunities for deeper friendships to develop.

During the next few months there should be more of an emphasis on bringing others into the group. Talk with friends, neighbors, those at work, and loved ones about Jesus and how He has changed your life. Tell them what is going on--what God is doing in your small group or house church. Expect people to come to a place of faith in Jesus Christ.

The small group and house church leader needs to continue to give a clear vision to the group that it will multiply. Then, as the group gets larger, the people will begin to talk about birthing a new group. I was a member of one small group that became large and cumbersome. We decided to meet in smaller groups for prayer during our meetings. A month or two later we decided to take these four prayer groups and meet in separate homes. We were still a part of the same large group, but we met at times as smaller prayer meetings in different homes instead of always attending the regular small group meeting as often as we had before. After doing this for a while, some of the small prayer groups became so excited about their group that they decided to begin a new small group. It is said that some people never learn to swim until they jump into the water! The same is true with small group or house church multiplication.

Consequently, there should be a lot of prayer and open communication about specific upcoming changes. Give people some time to get used to a new idea until it is birthed in their own hearts and they welcome it. Then it will not be a traumatic thing, but something that people can look forward to with enthusiasm and faith. Encourage each person to seek the Lord's wisdom on any proposed change and get back to you with a response. It is best if the move can be confirmed by as many people as possible in the group. During this time the small group or house church leaders should be accountable to the local church leaders or the house church network overseers who will pray with them and assist them in any way possible.

Remember, growth is healthy. A healthy church is a growing church--numerically, by the adding of people to His Kingdom and in maturity, by growing closer to our Lord Jesus.

"How often should a group multiply?” is one of the questions that I am most often asked by pastors and small group and house church leaders. The answer depends upon what the Holy Spirit is saying to you and in which culture you are living.

In the North American culture, I believe it's feasible for believers in small groups and house churches to ask the Lord for the grace to spawn a new group or house church each year, although we would never make it a requirement. We have noticed that other cultures and nations usually multiply new groups much more often.

We tell our small groups or house churches that if they have the grace to multiply more often than once a year, they should do it. It's a wonderful goal to have, and goals are important, but they must be birthed by the Holy Spirit and be attainable. We must admit, some of the goals that we set in our early years as a church are embarrassing. We set a goal early on to be a church of 40,000 people during the first years we were in existence. In retrospect, this goal was based much more on a mathematical calculation than it was on a word from the Holy Spirit!

Another time, after a group from DOVE returned from our first visit to the then largest church in the world, in Seoul, Korea, we were all excited about quickly setting goals. Although the concept of goal setting was good and needed, we set goals that were not spiritually attainable for all of the small group leaders. We told the leaders that they needed to multiply their groups every six months, just like they did in Korea. This is certainly a good goal; however, each group and leader is at a different place spiritually. Although some groups enthusiastically trusted the Lord for their group to multiply every six months, other small group leaders began to "burn out” because of not being able to meet these expectations. Along with our leadership team, I asked their forgiveness for placing these stringent requirements on them.

We do believe, however, that to trust the Lord for at least two people or families to come to Christ through our small group or house church each year is certainly not setting a goal that is too high. Those who have no spirit-led goals often have no vision. And without a clear vision, the Scriptures tell us we will perish.

When it is time for a small group or house church to multiply, everyone will be ready for it because they were preparing for this process all along. Often a group has been praying for a particular town or area, and a few members who live there subsequently feel called to begin a new small group or house church in that town. Because assistant leaders have been raised up previously in the group, there is always ongoing leadership potential to accommodate multiplication.

And remember, the purpose for multiplication in the small group or house church is to see God's people released to train others and fulfill God's Word (see 2 Tim. 2:2), not just to meet a goal. The early believers walked in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit and were multiplied (see Acts 9:31). We are called to do the same.

One small group that was multiplying invited all of the other small groups in their city to celebrate the "small group multiplication” at a local restaurant. Nearly everyone came from the groups in the entire city. It was a festive occasion. There was a time of rejoicing that the Lord had given the group the opportunity to multiply into two. There was a time of prayer for the new and original small group leaders. Soon after the multiplication took place, the new group doubled in size and the original group became nearly as large as it was previously.

The natural tendency is for believers in the small groups or house churches to want to stay together. However, if we can understand our Lord's heart to see new people come into His Kingdom, multiplication will be a great joy as the Kingdom of God continues to grow through our small groups and house churches.

Small groups and house churches are not immune to problems. In the next chapter, we will take a look at some problems that may occur and give leaders possible solutions.

 

 

Questions for Practical Application

1.   Contrast being "unprepared” with being "led by the Holy Spirit.”

 

2.   How can a small group encourage members to step out in faith and practice spiritual gifts?

 

3.   Why is it better to use the term "multiply” rather than "split” or "divide”?

Chapter 12

1. Resources for small groups and house churches:

Karen Ruiz & Sarah Mohler, Creative Ideas for Cell Groups (Lititz, PA: House to House Publications, 1996).

Larry Kreider & Floyd McClung, Starting a House Church (Ventura, CA: Regal Books, 2007).

2. We recommend this marriage workbook Called Together by Steve & Mary Prokopchak (Shippensburg, PA: Destiny Image Publications, 2009).

3. Larry Kreider, Biblical Foundation Series (Lititz, PA: House to House Publications, 2013).

4. Ralph W. Neighbour, Jr., Where Do We Go From Here? (Houston, TX: Touch Publications, Inc., 1990), 204.

5. Larry Kreider, Biblical Foundation Series (Lititz, PA: House to House Publications, 2013).