Reading: Spiritual Oneness (Part 1)

SPIRITUAL ONENESS - SEEKING GOD TOGETHER

By Kristine Koetje-Balder

SPIRITUAL ONENESS

Spiritual intimacy is crucial if Christian couples are going to experience all the blessings God intends, yet, too often it is the one thing Christian marriages lack. Many couples can separately experience spiritual growth, but not have spiritual intimacy. Spiritual intimacy is the closeness that comes within marriage when partners share something of their own spiritual walk with each other.

SPIRITUAL ONENESS

When partners are asked the question, "How close are you spiritually as a couple?” there are usually two responses. Many say, "We're not spiritually close,” or "We're not as close as we could be.” The second response is, "I think we would like to be.” Many couples, when they finally talk about it, discover they would like to be closer spiritually, but they were uncomfortable dealing with it. It was difficult, so it was never discussed.

SPIRITUAL ONENESS

Perhaps, there is just not enough time. Busy schedules and there is hardly enough time to say 'hello' to each other, let alone have devotions together.

"I know I should talk with my wife about spiritual things,” a husband could say, "but when our relationship is not right in other areas, it feels hypocritical to start talking about God and the Bible.”

SPIRITUAL ONENESS

Why do many couples have so little intimacy 10 or 15 years after their marriage commitment? Very likely, it is the same thing that happened in the Garden of Eden. Their personal sin has created within them a spirit of fear, distrust or guilt, so they protect themselves and withdraw from each other.

Many marriage partners today feel close to their spouses in every way except spiritually. In that area, they feel isolated. Often this isolation cannot be kept in check, and it may creep into other areas of a couples' life and impact those areas too. And the more one person wants to be close spiritually and the other resists, the more resentment will build

SPIRITUAL ONENESS

Couples can worship regularly together, but there is no spiritual intimacy. Couples can read the Bible regularly together but have no spiritual intimacy. Couples can pray together but still lack in spiritual intimacy. There are other couples who don't pray and share, yet have spiritual intimacy.

SPIRITUAL ONENESS

DEFINITION: Spiritual intimacy is based on attitudes. Spiritual intimacy is a heart's desire to be close to God and submit to His direction for your life. It is the willingness to seek His guidance together, to allow the teaching of His Word in your everyday life. It's a willingness to allow God to help you overcome your sense of discomfort over sharing spiritually and learn to see your marriage together as a spiritual adventure. It's a willingness to enthrone Jesus Christ as Lord of your lives and to look to Him for direction in your decisions.  It means He will direct both of you, and change your hearts to be in agreement rather than speak just through one of you.

www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/spiritual-intimacy-in-marriage

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/growing-spiritually/developing-spiritual-intimacy-in-marriage

IT TAKES THREE TO AGREE 

In order for a marriage to not only survive, but also to be fulfilling and successful, there need to be three parties involved: the husband, the wife, and God. The reason marriages have issues in the first place is because every married couple is made up of two imperfect people. One imperfect human plus another imperfect human equals one imperfect marriage.  However, if the addition of a perfect God comes into this imperfect mix of two imperfect people, then there are unlimited possibilities for growing closer to the perfection God intended for marriage relationships.

IT TAKES THREE TO AGREE

You and your spouse can agree on something, but it can still be an issue if God does not agree with it. For example, if your spouse wants you to view a movie that has sexually explicit scenes in it and you agree to it, that is a compromise that you have both chosen, but it does not agree with God's Word.  Therefore, God does not agree with it. Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things.” (Omartian)

WHAT MAKES YOUR MARRIAGE CHRISTIAN? 

There are far too many couples who have referred to their marriage being Christian, but the only thing that made their marriage Christian was the type of wedding ceremony they had chosen or the fact that they went to the same church. To make a marriage Christian is that the couple is seeking to restore what was lost back in Genesis. 

WHAT MAKES YOUR MARRIAGE CHRISTIAN? 

In a marriage that is growing spiritually, both partners make the choice regularly to confront not only the shame, defensiveness, and fear that any two people are going to encounter in an intimate relationship but also the brokenness in their relationship with God. The couple is endeavoring to restore some part of what Adam and Eve shared together with God in the very beginning. Unless that search for spiritual intimacy with God is part of our behavior as a couple, there is little else that distinguishes a marriage as being truly Christian.  (Stoop)

TAKE AUTHORITY IN YOUR MARRIAGE 

The best place to start taking authority over your world and your life is by praying regularly for your husband (wife) and for your marriage. When a spouse prays with God-given authority, it releases the power of God to work in both of their lives. A spouse cannot change the strong will of their mate, but when the spouse is praying for him (her), there is an invitation for God to create an atmosphere in the spirit realm around him (her) that helps him (her) to better see the truth. 

GOD IS GREATER 

GOD IS GREATER than your husband's anger or your wife's lack of interest in sex. He is greater than your wife's depression or your husband's inability to communicate. He is greater than your unforgiveness or your husband's (wife's) hardness of heart. God is powerful enough to help you get out of debt and free of addictions. He is stronger than your bad habits and weak willpower. He made you victorious over all that and more.

PRESCRIPTION 

But, you cannot proceed "having a form of Godliness but denying its power.” (2 Timothy 3:5).  You have to run to the cross with gratefulness for His sacrifice on your behalf and acknowledge God's power in your life. 

GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE 

He says it is He "who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.” (2 Timothy 1:9). He has called you for a purpose and this marriage to be a Holy Sacrament. You can choose His destiny for your marriage, or make your own. The life you try to make happen will never be as good as the one you let God make happen. (Omartian) 

SPIRITUAL INTIMACY INVENTORY

This inventory has a list of 36 questions that can be answered with a simple yes or no. This inventory will provide an idea of where your marriage is in terms of spiritual intimacy. The goal is to work towards being able to answer "yes” to the questions asked. However, there most certainly will be questions answered "no” and this inventory can serve as a template for discussion regarding aspects of your married life and what needs to be strengthened and developed in your spiritual walk as a couple and with Jesus. This inventory is provided for you as a document in this section of the course so that you can open it, view it, and answer the questions.