Reading: Overcoming Bitterness

Overcoming Bitterness

by Henry Reyenga

Voodoo Dolls In Folk Religion

James 3:13-16    Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.  But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.  Such "wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.  For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 

The Cause of Bitterness 

Someone does something to hurt you. A habit of hurt begins even when someone is made aware of it.

Acts 8:23  "For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.”(NIV)

Proverbs 14:30  A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. 

Bitterness Taking Root

When you hold onto hurt and refuse to forgive the person who hurt you. 

When you hold on to ongoing offenses of a small nature that build up over time. 

When each offense makes a home in the heart.

Soon the heart is filled with the weeds of bitterness.

Why Bitterness Hurts Your Ordination

Bitterness creates a leader who takes offense too quickly. If you find that your buttons are pushed easily, maybe you are struggling with bitterness. In ministry, this will hold you back.

Hebrews 12:15  See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (NIV)

Take Responsibility To Forgive Others

Waiting for someone else to forgive you or make an apology first is not wise.

Jesus said, "If you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions." (Matthew 6:14-15, NASB) 

Bitterness Kills Transparency

Bitterness tends to block those you minister to from being transparent on their own growth. 

James 3:14-15  But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom” does not come from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.  

Bitterness Multiplies

Bitterness will affect your body language and speech. You may have sarcasm, angry reactions, uncalled for mistrust, and much more. This hurts your ordination witness.

James 3:16  For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Get Rid Of Bitterness

1. Identify the bitter roots. 

Get help from a trusted friend to see where the roots are. You may not be aware of some of them. 

James 5:16  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (NIV)

1 Thessalonians 5:21-22  Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil. (NIV)

Get Rid Of Bitterness

2. Start confessing those sins and ask for forgiveness. Could be once or could take a while. 

Make a prayer list of the hurts and give them to God. Be self-aware of what you expect of others in relationship to you.

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  

3. Identify the patterns of offense in yourself.  A critical attitude, past hurt areas, childhood trauma, etc. Learn the triggers to your bitterness.

Galatians 5:16  So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

4. Focus on living at peace and be self-aware of loving others. Develop a thick skin. In ministry, you must have this.

James 3:17-18  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. (NIV)