Reading: Forgiveness

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 

“Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

“The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’

So they began to celebrate.”

Note: In Biblical times, a son who asked for his inheritance was saying that he wished his father were dead. This was a severe insult to the father. Nevertheless, when the prodigal son decided to return to his father’s house, his father welcomed him back into the family with a joyous celebration. This did not mean there were no consequences for the son: his share of the inheritance was gone.

What is forgiveness? While definitions of forgiveness can be quite complex and nuanced, in basic terms we can say that forgiveness involves the act of pardoning a person for the perpetration of a wrong or an offense. That is, among other things, forgiveness consists of a decision or an act to forego holding a wrong or an offense against the person who committed it.

How does a person seek forgiveness? A person seeking forgiveness must come in humility, with authentic confession and repentance. This person cannot expect the injured person to forgive. The offender can only offer his or her confession and repentance in humility and truth, and hope the injured person will accept the offer.

How does a person forgive? Forgiveness can only be given; it cannot be forced from someone. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it ignore the harm done or remove the offender’s responsibility to try to make things right. The act of forgiveness names the wrong that was done; otherwise there would be no need to forgive. Nevertheless, in the very acknowledgment of the offense or injury, the wronged party gives up the option to clutch the wrong as a permanent or irresolvable complaint against the offender.

Forgiveness is not the same as feeling forgiving. Rather, it is a decision not to hold a wrong and its consequences against the wrongdoer anymore. Forgiveness frees the wrongdoer from the strict demands of justice, although it does not ignore justice nor does it remove all consequences from the offender.

Forgiveness usually occurs through a process over time. As indicated in the introduction with respect to the steps toward reconciliation as a whole, forgiveness itself often takes considerable personal and relational work to deal with emotional and spiritual challenges and issues, especially for the victim. Even when it seems to occur or resolve in a crucial moment, this is likely the fruition of individual and interpersonal efforts over a period of time.

Used by permission - www.restorativejustice.org - a ministry of Prison Fellowship International