Reading: Chapter 12: Culture

Chapter 12

CULTURE

DECODING, MODELING, “HARAMBEE”

I was conversing with a colleague who taught leadership classes at our local high school. In passing, he tossed me a compliment_:

“You know Mike [not his real name], don’t you? I knew you did! I could tell he’s spent time in your ministry . . .”

The flow of conversation kept me from asking, “What tipped you off? How could you tell Mike was a ‘product’ of our ministry?” But obviously one or more aspects of our transformational discipleship culture had become a part of Mike’s way of being in the world.

Cultural norms influence all of us, often in ways we ourselves fail to perceive. I was amazed, after two years of living in Vienna, at my ability to “spot an American a mile away.” We really do stand out! Especially American tourists. Tourists from the U.S. convey a confidence that seems almost arrogant. Their stride, in contrast to locals and other visiting foreigners, is strikingly upright, hurried and purposeful. Sometimes their noses actually look as if they are pointing upward! In Vienna, watching was curious fun, but also sobering: Is that what I looked like two years ago? Is that what I look like now?

The world we inhabit really does have a squeezing effect on us. That is why the Scriptures warn us to pay attention: “Don’t let [Stop allowing] the world around you [to] squeeze you into its own mould . . .” (Romans 12:2, Phillips).

The good news is that we can offset the “squeezing” influence of the world with the transforming influence of God: “. . . but let [start allowing] God [to] re-mould your minds from within” (Ro- mans 12:2, Phillips).

Value: Youth programs should be transformational incubators. An incubator is any enclosed structure within which the environment works over time to produce a desired result. Most urban youth ministries already provide places of safety, fun and learning for inner-city kids. They can do more. They can foster transformation.

Thinking and Apprenticing

There were two activities instrumental in Jesus’ ministry that tend to be undervalued today. The first was His approach to discipleship: He apprenticed. He asked His disciples to follow Him—not to memorize facts or take notes in a classroom. They were given a task (to fish for people—i.e., to compel men and women to enter the kingdom of God) that involved on-the-spot training. (We have already seen a modern example of the value of an apprentice model of discipleship through Jimmy’s story.)

The second activity was one Jesus employed extensively when engaging others: thinking. To be more specific, He asked and fielded questions. About 20 years ago, I heard a quotation—attributed to well-known Bible teacher Cyril J. Barber—that went something like this:

Jesus used questions throughout his ministry; He used questions to begin a conversation (John 5:6). He reasoned with questions (Matthew 12:24-30). He taught with questions (Matthew 18:12). After telling the crowd the story of the Good Samaritan, He asked, “Which of the people in the story do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?” (Luke 10:36). On another occasion when the religious leaders tried to trap Him with their hostile, incriminating query, the Lord Jesus rebuked them with a question (Luke 22:49; Matthew 22:17-21). A great deal of His recorded ministry was conducted by means of questions. He used questions to hold His listeners’ attention and also to stimulate their thought processes.

To ask questions—good, timely, profound questions—requires a measure of skill. To allow others to ask questions of you—probing, searching, honest questions—requires humility, awareness and transparency.

Though they may be generally neglected in our time, these two experiences—thinking and apprenticing—are defining activities within a transformational discipleship culture. Both require being comfortable with questions.

How do we implement these two methods of discipleship? First, we prepare. Two preparatory activities that foster the leader’s capacity to ask and respond effectively to profound questions are decoding and modeling. Second, we create teaching moments. I call these “Harambee” (engaging God and life together) moments.

Decoding

I have addressed at length the life-altering influence of the code of the street on young people. Cultures of brokenness and violence squeeze youth into unhealthy views of God, themselves and others. Important, therefore, to creating an environment of transformational discipleship is the practice of decoding.

The dictionary defines “decoding” as converting a secret message—often a set of letters, numbers or symbols—into words that can be understood.¹ To decode is to uncover an underlying meaning. For our purposes, decoding is the practice of excavating central ideas (the youths’ and God’s) in order to accentuate God’s perspective in the minds of young people.

In editor Walter Hooper’s preface to God in the Dock: Essays on Theology and Ethics, he describes C. S. Lewis’s motivation for translating the gospel into common language:

After his conversion in 1931, Lewis, who seldom refused an invitation to speak or write about the Faith, found himself moving in very different circles. He preached to and argued with fellow dons, industrial workers, members of the Royal Air Force, and university students. It was partly due to this varied experience that he came to see why the professional theologians could not make Christianity understandable to most people. As a result, he set himself the task of “translating” the Gospel into language which men use and understand. He believed that if you found it difficult to answer questions from men of different trades it was probably because “You haven’t really thought it out; not to the end; not to ‘the absolute ruddy end’.”²

I inadvertently began decoding while attending seminary in Colorado. Theological concepts using words with ten letters or more rarely enter normal conversations. So I played a game during the 25-minute drive from the campus to my home. “If I had to explain this concept to the kids tonight, how would I do it? What would I say?” I would challenge my- self to translate—decode—complex concepts into terms youth would understand.

Finding Core Ideas

For years, in addition to running Neighborhood Ministries, I served as a teaching pastor. That meant decoding ideas coming from two directions—the Scriptures and the youth—on a regular basis. With the Scriptures, I learned to search for theological centers. To know what a passage means, one must first discover what it meant. Someone once said, “If you know what the biblical writer is saying and what the biblical reader is hearing, you can know what God is saying.” Surfacing the core ideas of biblical texts is key to persuasive preaching.

With youth, getting at the heart of what they are saying requires listening and probing without bias or presumption. Author Stephen Covey famously said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Group discussions are as much about listening as they are about speaking. So the youth leader must probe:

“What do you mean by that?” “Finish your thought . . .” “Why do you think that?” “Help me understand . . .”

Injected throughout is the clarifier: “So is this what you are saying?” This lets youth know that you are listening, and that you desire to understand. It also allows you to summarize their thoughts.

This is a significant decoding moment: You are hearing youths’ thoughts on life in their own words. Summarizing their thoughts may or may not reveal new ideas regarding youth perspectives. But by putting central ideas in terms they have expressed, key concepts will come across as fresh, perhaps new, to them. Later, when applying God’s perspective, it will be as if God is speaking directly to them.

The search for central ideas is a difficult task. It is easy to follow the practice of the pagans of Jesus’ day, who equated wordiness and repetition with spiritual persuasiveness (see Matthew 6:7).

Thoughts are much more powerful when they are focused. This requires mining for single ideas. Haddon Robinson, in his book Biblical Preaching, highlights this truth:

Students of public speaking and preaching have argued for centuries that effective communication demands a single theme. Rhetoricians hold to this so strongly that virtually every textbook devotes some space to a treatment of the principle. Terminology may vary—central idea, proposition, theme, thesis statement, main thought—but the concept is the same: an effective speech “centers on one specific thing, a central idea.”³

Deriving central ideas from youth can be as simple as summarizing the points youth make during a discussion. “Johnny, you said your mom is always breaking promises, which makes you feel it’s alright to disobey her. Tasha, you expressed fear and anger about the possibility that your parents might break up. It sounds like all of you wish you had a better relationship with your parents [their core issue, which also is a felt need].”

Your response might be based on Paul’s exhortation to children to honor their parents (see Ephesians 6:1-3) and could include some or all of the following: “This is not about your parents; this is about you.” “You respect your parents, not because they deserve it, but because it is the right thing to do.” “You did not choose your parents, but how you respond to them is your choice.” “Ask why they are the way they are; examine your responses as well.” “It won’t be easy, but if you honor them (i.e., look up to them and appreciate the good in them) and love them (i.e., seek that which is best for them), the negative stuff won’t hurt you. You can work your way through it.”

Youth leaders are not preachers, per se. But, like preachers, we are tasked to persuade our audience—which in our case happens to be youth. Persuasive ministry requires knowledge of the audience’s view of the world and God’s view of the audience. This means decoding.

Modeling

I once took a youth group to Red Rocks—a huge outdoor amphitheater in the foothills of Golden, Colorado. The amphitheater sits between two very high rock formations. As we stood atop the theater, we noticed that some people had climbed to the top of one of the formations—a very dangerous and illegal act.

Glaring at the climbers, I shouted in disgust, “What a dangerous and stupid thing to do!” Then, as we walked away, I muttered to myself, “I hope they’ll be okay.”

One of the kids heard me. “How can you say that?” she asked. “Why would you care about what stupid people do?”

That was when I first realized that others were sizing me up.

And they weren’t afraid to question what they saw.

We are being watched all the time. The ability to bear up under such scrutiny is an important part of the transformational discipleship environment.

Life in a Glass House

One of the first things I was told about being a missionary was that missionaries—even missionaries in the inner city—live in glass houses. I took that to mean that people who serve God lead transparent lives.

Much is made today of the difference between our inner and outer selves. While this distinction has some merit, an unintended consequence can be the affirmation of duality as a way of life.

This is not God’s way. The inner and outer lives of the disciple are to be consistently shaped by God’s Spirit and instruction. We return to Paul’s exhortation: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

Transformation should produce behaviors consistent with beliefs. Youth leaders should be comfortable living under the scrutinizing lens of discerning youth. What young people see in us should reinforce what we say about following Christ, whether it is what we preach on Sunday, what we tell someone in a personal conversation, or the day-to-day acts of our lives that whisper our true convictions.

What You Whisper

Years ago I took a Christian writing class from Dr. Bruce Shelley at Denver Seminary. Dr. Shelley made many profound statements, not the least of which was: “In writing, it’s not just what you shout, but what you whisper!”

I have since learned to appreciate the beauty of the implied. The Old Testament book of Esther is fascinating for this very reason: God is never mentioned by name, yet His presence fills the narrative. Powerful affirmations or damning contradictions can spring from that which is subtly implied.

The concept of whispering occurs in realms other than writing. Think of a child in a room filled with adults. What draws that child to one adult over another? They sense what is whispered: “You can entrust yourself to me.”

What do you whisper? Sadly, a great many politicians whisper dishonesty while shouting sincerity. Those who direct transformational discipleship ministries must live lives of integrity—down to the whispers.

You Matter

There is an indispensable element in all this: you. Unless you, as the leader, model what you teach, you cannot create a transformational discipleship culture.

I won’t lie; this is a costly standard. A commitment to modeling places a number of demands on leaders’ personal lives:

• Leaders examine their lives: they watch their lives and doctrine carefully (see 1 Tim. 4:16).
  Leaders walk with God: they live lives of obedience and devotion.
  Leaders apply what they teach (James: “You who say do not steal—do you steal?”): they allow the Holy Spirit to apply lessons first to them and then through them.
• Leaders are transparent: they share their journey with others.
• Leaders stay freshly attuned to God: they study the Scriptures again and again as if for the first time.
• Leaders model a God-shaped purpose: they live purpose- driven lives.
• Leaders model love: they seek only the highest good of others.

Harambee Moments

The term “Harambee” has a rich African history. In 1964, one year after its declaration of independence from British rule, the Republic of Kenya was born. Its president, “Mzee” Jomo Kenyatta, based his mandate in something that would become a motto for the people of Kenya: Harambee (which in Swahili means “let’s pull together!” or “pulling all together at once”). Later adopted by many ministries in the West, the term captures a sense of striving together toward a desired goal.

While the adolescent leadership program is the central activity of a transformational discipleship ministry, Harambee is its central event. A significant part of every youth gathering is (or should be) when young people come together for a time of discussion and a short talk about God. This is what I call the Harambee moment.

It’s club night. About 25 middle school-aged youth are mingling, waiting for club to start. Above the chatter, Karen speaks:

Okay, here’s the situation. Sondra—this is a made-up story—gets into a fight with Jessica at school. No one sees who started it, but everyone knows it had to be Jessica. Sondra had to be just defending herself. Both girls get suspended from school. Is that unfair [she points to one side of the room] or fair [pointing to the other side]? You make your choice . .  .

Gradually kids start to move. Kids on the “fair” side slowly notice that only one person—Carl—is walking toward the “unfair” side of the room. When Carl turns around, he is surprised to see the rest of the group laughing and pointing at him. After the initial shock, he smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

During discussion time:

Karen: Carl, why did you think suspending both of them was unfair?

Carl: It’s wrong for two people to get punished when only one of them deserves it.

Tonya: But you don’t know who started it.

Niles: Maybe they should have investigated it more.

Carl: Hey, I know what it’s like to get punished for something I did not do. It’s just not right.

Later, Karen gives a wrap-up:

We have all been accused of doing something we did not do. We may have even been punished for it. And, Carl, you’re right: that’s wrong.

But what can you do about it? It’s not like you can argue your case in court. Schools aren’t set up for that kind of thing.

Jesus talks about this, but you may not like what He says. In His day, people were taught to settle arguments by doing to others what they do to you. “You have heard it said,” Jesus told a crowd, “Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.” They were taught if someone hits you, you hit back!

Jesus says people who follow Him respond differently. He says, “But I say to you: Do not resist an evil person.” Don’t resist? What’s up with that?

[Karen holds up a poster.] You see this picture? Two middle-aged women, one black and the other white, standing arm-in-arm, smiling. They’re friends. Now look at the smaller picture in the corner. See that black girl wearing the shades? She’s walking into a school that, for the first time, has been ordered by law to allow black students to attend. You see the crowd of white people? They’re angry! They don’t want black people in their all-white school!

Now look closely at the white girl towards the front of the crowd who’s screaming. Recognize her? She’s the same person who is hugging the black woman. Now look closely at the black girl wearing the shades. See who she is? That’s right: she’s the black woman in the large picture!

The white girl hated black people. She screamed at them. But the black kids did not scream back. And later the black and white women became friends.

But when Jesus said, “Do not resist an evil person,” He was not just pointing to behavior. He was pointing to the necessity of a transformed life.

Jesus knew that no one could resist evil for very long. If a person keeps pushing your buttons (nags you, calls you names, gets in your face), at some point the best of us will snap.

That was Jesus’ point. You can’t resist, at least not on your own. But if Jesus is in your life, you will. Why? Because Jesus removes the buttons other people push in order to hurt and control you.

What if someone wants to pick a fight? How would they do that? Would they call you a name? Would they call your mother a name? (“Yo mama!” is a phrase that has provoked many a fight!) They’re looking for a button—something you’re sensitive about—to get you angry enough to fight. But what if there is no button to push? What if you are so secure in your (and your mother’s) self-worth that any provocation sounds like nonsense? That’s what Jesus does: Those who belong to Him discover who they really are. And when you know who you are, no one can bait or hurt you. There are no buttons to push.

So, going back to Jessica and Sondra, God shows up (or wants to show up) before the fight begins. If it is on you, you won’t pick a fight with anyone because, like Je- sus, it is not in your nature to do so. If someone wants to pick a fight with you, they will fail because you are not someone who can be provoked.

Make sense? This week think about the buttons people push to make you angry. What needs to change in you in order to remove that button? I challenge you to ask God to make that change in your life. Let’s pray . . .

I think of Harambee moments as times with the “multitude.” While Jesus spent significant time with the 12 disciples, He often addressed large crowds of people who were following Him. To these multitudes He said repeatedly, “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

The multitude was filled with different kinds of people.  There were those who believed Jesus’ message. There were curious onlookers. There were “groupies” who did not take Jesus’ words seriously but thought it cool to be part of the crowd. To this diverse group of people, He spoke truth, with the exhortation and plea: “Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.”

Your “multitude” might be your basketball squad, intermediate dance studio or weekly club attendees. No matter what brings them together, they are diverse in terms of their relationship with, understanding of and/or commitment to God. It is to this group that you bring the Harambee moment.

It is important to understand the context you are creating. Harambee is a focused time of engagement around a felt need. We are “scratching where the youth are itching.” Our goal is to present God’s perspective in a way that touches the group’s felt need.

• This is not a time for hanging out or basking in the moment of being with kids. You may be facilitating, and you certainly are in charge. But this moment is not about you. Your focus is on the youth. This is your servant leadership moment.
• Time is respected, and timeframes adhered to. For Harambee moments to be impactful, time must be used carefully. We are not cavalier about time, like the proverbial preacher who could have stopped 30 minutes ago but did not. (Once, before speaking for Denver Seminary’s Chapel service, John Perkins asked how much time he had. “Take all the time you need.” Dr. Grounds replied. “But when you’re finished: stop.”) Better to stop discussion at a high point than allow for a slow death. If you have not thought through your summary well enough to keep it within five minutes, you have not done your job!
• This is not a time for lecture, but discovery. Topics are introduced creatively, using videos, movie clips or stories taken from yesterday’s news. Discussion should be lively: What do you think, and why? The only time youth are silent is when you give the wrap-up (a silence earned because you have their respect and your summary is clear and to the point).

Transformational Discipleship and Numbers

You may already have built-in restraints on the number of youth in your program. Many ministries are open-ended:  constantly welcoming in new people, hoping they will stay. At times it may feel like a revolving door. This is not a setting conducive to long-term influence.

Two things must happen early on in order for the transformational discipleship culture to take root. First, the group must become comfortable sharing. Then, as sharing grows more transparent and honest, a sense of trust must be established so that the freedom to share continues. You cannot create this safe environment if your youth group is a revolving door for every young person with a passing interest. That may work well within an evangelistic setting, but not in a discipleship one.

Use large group activities during summer months to recruit new kids into your ministry. When the fall program begins, tell them that only those who are faithful attenders through November 1 can continue to meet weekly. After that, if they haven’t settled in to regular attendance, they may join in on the monthly fun activities (at full price, of course! They do not get the discount or freebies that faithful attenders get). But they will not be able to participate in the weekly group discussions.

I know this kind of thinking may feel heartbreaking. “But those wayward kids need Christ!” Yes, they do—and so do the young people already committed to the group. Far too many ministries sacrifice kids hungry to learn on the altar of a few not ready to commit.

By November, you will know who you are focused on over the coming year. Staff can now give one-on-one attention to specific youth.

Preparation for Harambee

The Boy Scout motto “Be prepared” applies here. Preparation is key to successful Harambee moments. There are five areas in which preparation must be thorough:

1. Surface a Need. Your topic may be “Parents,” but what is the felt need? Understanding them? Loving them? Anger towards them? Not having both of them? What is your group’s burden—their felt need? Identify what you perceive to be felt needs, then design discussion questions to draw out any additional felt needs.
2. Discover the Big Idea. What is God’s perspective? What is His word on the topic? Dig deep enough to discover not only the what but also the why. Then bring the subject (what God is saying) and the complement (what He is saying about what He is saying) into a single, focused, one-sentence statement: the Big Idea.⁴
3. Choose Your Opener. It could be a film clip or an interesting statement. Whatever it is, it must be clear, crisp, and draw immediate attention to the topic.
4. Choose Transitions and Big Idea Illustration. Transitioning from one segment to the next may be as simple as turning off the projector and asking a provocative question. It could be as short as a three-word command. The important thing is that you have thought it through; transitions must be intentional. You must also select a story that illustrates your Big Idea in a way that helps youth understand and relate to the subject.
5. Determine an Application. Give group members something simple to do, such as, “When you get home, tell your parents you love them.”

Ministry Incubator

Years ago, a Neighborhood Ministries board member drew a diagram that captured the essence of our ministry. He called it the Sphere of Influence. I do not remember the drawing clearly enough to recreate it, but I do remember thinking it looked like an incubator. That image has stayed with me as I have continued to reflect on our work with urban adolescents.

For every young person entering the world of Neighborhood Ministries, we were an influence for good in some way, shape or form. Not every child embraced the good news of Jesus Christ, but all—through the programs and long-term relationships with staff and volunteers—fell under the influence of God’s grace and mercy. Of course, some did find Christ. For them, life in the incubator took on the added dimension of self-discovery and growth as they learned from their Creator who and why they are. When these youth reached high school age, their growth was tested and refined through practical servant leadership opportunities, such as teaching, tutoring, community service—or even running a summer day camp.

The world of transformational discipleship, as I have come to see it, is an incubator. It is built on vision, principles and conviction. It is sustained by the prayers and support of God’s people. Its walls are distinctly lined with diverse programs and caring people who provide a constant flow of the love of God into the main chamber. Inside are kids. They are going through the practical, harsh stuff of life—growing, questioning, changing, hurting, crying, laughing, and so on. They are experiencing life with its ups and downs, its joys and pains. It’s hard. But they are not alone. Many caring people have built relationships that provide support structures for them.

That is life in the incubator: people committed to dynamic relationships, walking with youth through life’s circumstances over time, with the constant flow of the love of God in the air.

For Love of Culture

Decoding. Modeling. Harambee. These practices will have a character-shaping effect on those exposed to them.

• Young people will feel free to think and express their thoughts. They know that God is not offended or shaken by their honesty. (Remember Job. He pushed back against the judgments of his “friends” with raw honesty, declaring, “I will never admit you are in the right; till I die, I will not deny my integrity. I will maintain my innocence and never let go of it; my conscience will not reproach me as long as I live” [Job 27:5-6]. God approved Job’s honesty [see the end of the book] and vindicated him.)
• There is no “place” where God is “not”—no topic, no discussion, no issue, no felt need. God speaks in hard places to people in hard places.
• It is okay to examine what is going on around you—the way life is squeezing you.
• Integrity matters. Youth should be led by people who can say, “There is nothing you see in me that you cannot become.” Youth are drawn to people with integrity.

Notes

1. “Decode” at www.merriam-webster.com, accessed July 2015.
2. C. S. Lewis, God in the Dock: Essays on Theology and Ethics (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2014), pp. ix-x.
3. Haddon Robinson, Biblical Preaching: The Development and Delivery of Expository Messages (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2001), Kindle edition.
4. For example, consider Ephesians 6:1-3. A study of the passage reveals that Paul assumes children are in the congregation; it is significant that he addresses them directly and not through their parents. Commanding children to obey their parents “in the Lord” reveals an expectation that they will listen to their parents and discern their instructions even as they obey them. In addition, holding their parents in high esteem (simply because they are their parents) brings the promise of a good and long life for them. So if the subject (what he is talking about) is “The wisdom and benefits of obeying parents,” and the complement (what he says about what he is talking about) is “It is the right thing to do, and doing so contributes to a good future,” the Big Idea might be “The reason God commands you to respect and obey your parents is that this response is the right one, and it yields the promise of a good and long life for you.”