Slides: Being a Coach That Listens

Steve Elzinga

Since coaching is client-centered, a coach must listen if any coaching is going to take place

When you pray who is doing most of the talking? Is God giving you a constant stream of advice and telling you what to do, or is he mostly listening? God is great listener. 

Listening communicates that you care

True listening comes from caring about what another person says.

Listening communicates that you believe in the person

Listening is one of the most powerful, compelling ways to say “You are a great person – I have confidence in you.”

Listening for possible deep wells

The coach hones in on the most interesting, unusual or significant thing the client shares. This is called intuitive listening. Asks the client to go deeper at that point.

Listening for …

Emotion

Voice, body language (joy, sadness, depression, guilt, fear), words

State of being words

“I feel unmotivated, tired, worn out, incapable of getting things done, angry, fearful, stressed.”

Listening for …

Statements that are out of the ordinary

“I just didn’t get to what I wanted to do last week because my oldest son came home for a few days.”

Statements that are interesting

“Sometimes I wish I could just start a new career.”  

Note: Look for statements that have the word “interesting” in it.

Listening for …

Statements that require more information

“I feel like I am wasting my time.”

“I would like to do something that is important.”

“I think I need to spend more time with my wife.”

“All I do is work.”

“My wife and I don’t seem to be getting along very well.”

Basic listening questions

“Could you say more about that?”

“I am not sure I know what you mean. Could you explain more about that?

The statement ________ is very interesting. Could you elaborate more on that?

Basic listening questions

“Why ….?”

“How ....?”

“Where ...?”

“When ....?”

“What ...?”

The first goal of listening is

To keep the client talking!

The second goal of listening is to help the client …

go deeper into his/her needs and or wants. 

The third goal of listening is to help the client …

Decide on a course of action.

Make a plan to carry out a course of action.

Make progress carrying out a plan of a course of action.