Reading Assignment 9: Accessible Gospel, Inclusive Worship -pp 34-76
4: Inclusive Worship
Introduction
Salvation – is it the beginning or the end? Once we step into that new place of belonging in Christ, what is next? Most people involved in evangelism are quick to comment that evangelism and discipleship walk hand in hand. Once we are a child of God, it’s so important to put ourselves in places where God can continue the transformation in our lives.
2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
While God can choose many ways and places to transform our lives, Christians usually place themselves strategically so they can hear God’s voice and grow in Him. In my own life, I find being part of a church, a Christian small group, and finding daily time to spend by myself in God’s presence are some things He has used to allow me to grow throughout my years as a follower of Jesus.
For our brothers and sisters in Christ who experience areas of disability, are those same avenues available? Can an individual with Down syndrome, for example, walk into any Christian church and find a place of welcome? Would an individual with autism spectrum disorder be able to find a small group that encouraged his participation? If talking to God and listening for His voice was not modeled or taught in large or small group settings, would it be easy for that same individual to know how to have a personal time with God each day?
While I know some persons with disabilities have found places of worship that are welcoming and meaningful, I know from many personal experiences and contacts that this is often not the case. It is my hope that God will use the practical ideas that follow to give churches and family members ideas to try when creating such environments.
Three Types Of Stories
I hear so many stories. They tend to fall into three categories:
“We are so excited!” The excited stories tend to be from communities already experiencing inclusive worship. They tell about the day Holly joined the praise team and how her ability to use signs and gestures instead of words allowed God to create a new and vibrant place for all to worship. The stories recount the day Mario was baptized and the powerful and positive impact that made on the church education program. The stories reference ministering with, worshiping with, and serving with persons with disabilities and how the church has changed as a result.
For churches with those types of stories, may God use this book to give you additional ideas.
“We really have not thought much about this in our church.” I hear this many times from pastors and church members who fall into a second group of stories. I don’t consider this a negative comment, but one that invites discovery. I often encourage these communities to remember that around 20 percent of our population experiences some kind of disability. That’s a lot of people! Translated into a church setting, about one in every five people may need something altered or modified to be more a part of the community. It might be a hymnal in Braille, a rocking chair in the worship center, a hearing loop in the sanctuary, or a gluten free bread option for communion. That’s a large number of people, so it’s important for churches to consider what might need to happen in order to better welcome each one.
For churches with those kinds of stories, may God use this material to invite you into a place where you can consider some new options within your community. I am confident your stories will soon reflect the “I’m so excited” stories.
The third group of stories can best be summed up with “We are not interested.” This set of stories, unfortunately still so prevalent, often tells of families who have knocked on many church doors only to be asked to leave. Other individuals might be sent to the church down the road as “I heard they have a program for people like you.” Some families have become so tired and weary of searching for a church that they have given up and figure there is no spot for them within that community. Some parents go to church, but are always asked to shadow their family member with a disability in worship and educational settings. I often refer to these parents as some of the most “worship deprived” individuals in a church. Sometimes after years of filling this role, the families make a choice to stay home – it’s just easier that way.
These stories are troubling, and yet when one begins to ask more questions, the reasons for these comments are often based in fear, inexperience, or a legitimate comment – “We want to include this person, but we don’t know HOW.”
For churches with those kinds of stories, may God use this material to give you the “how to” and address the fear and inexperience that often undergird these comments. Be bold, pray into this, and allow God to lead.
Accessible Conversation With God
Accessibility. I used that word to help us think about the gospel message. How do we make that more accessible to each one? Now imagine accessibility in church, a small group setting, and individual settings. While it’s easy to think about issues like bathrooms, ramps, drinking fountains, pew cut outs for wheelchair users, and elevators, walk with me more deeply into this concept.
Most of our worship settings can be described as a conversation. While some of them are corporate and others are individual, we enter into a place where we speak to God and allow God to speak to our lives. For some individuals with disabilities, the tools we use as part of that conversation might be a bit different from some of the traditional tools. For example, if we use only spoken words set to music for the part of the conversation that says “I love you, God,” then we have left someone out who has no spoken words. How can we make that part of our conversation with God inclusive of each worshipper?
While drinking fountains and bathrooms are very important, the focus of this book will be on the tools and techniques one might use in including persons with intellectual disability, autism spectrum disorder, or physical challenges that might prevent the use of more traditional tools in a worship setting. If, however, your congregation has not had the chance to look at your physical property, I recommend beginning with www.crcna.org/disability and click on the link for the accessibility audit guide .
Concept Of Vertical Habits
Tom and Sally have been thrilled since they first knew that they would have a child. They prepared a safe and comfortable place for the baby to sleep, and their friends gave gifts of clothing, warm blankets and stuffed animals. And finally baby Asher arrived. They can hardly believe that this child was entrusted to them. They have prayed that the child would be healthy, would grow, and would come to love God as they do.
Before Asher can begin to understand, Tom and Sally are practicing habits of relating. They smile at him, talk to him, sing, laugh and quickly respond to his every need. Over and over they repeat “I love you.” Their deepest desire is that a deep and loving bond will grow between Asher and them, their family, friends and God.
Their love is expressed not only in words but in actions. They eagerly watch for smiles from Asher that are a response to their love. As Asher grows they begin to teach him expressions that will help these bonds grow.
It would be three years before Tom and Sally receive the diagnosis that Asher has autism spectrum disorder. Though these years have been filled with frustration and uncertainty, they have been reminded that God loves Asher and desires to have a relationship with him. They know that God wants Asher to be deeply connected with his parents, siblings, and family and friends who love him.
As Asher grows they want to help him learn to express” Thank you” either in words or gestures. When he is older they’ll teach him the importance of “I’m Sorry” and “Please help.”
Asher, as is true for all of us, also needs to learn practices of relating to God. In many Christian churches, worship is shaped by these practices. In 2005 Dr. John Witvliet of the Calvin Institute of Christian Worship taught this concept in a workshop in Denver. Bruce Gritter and Karen Wilk, church planters in Edmonton, Alberta wondered whether this might help new believers understand why we do what we do in worship. Thinking of human relationships as horizontal and relating to God as vertical, they called it “Vertical Habits” and spent a year learning and practicing 8 habits.
After receiving their reports and resources, Calvin Institute of Christian Worship staff wondered,
Would this framework be effective in congregations filled with life-long Christians?
Might Christian schools shape faith formation using the Vertical Habits?
Would it be meaningful in churches of various ethnicities and worship practices?
Twenty-three churches and schools accepted an invitation to learn about Vertical Habits and practice them for a year. At the end of the year they shared resources and reflections.
I also had a chance to work with the Vertical Habits project. My role was to consider how this language, this new way of looking at elements of a worship service and growing as a Christian, might impact the life of a person with a disability. There was such beauty in the way large words like “adoration,” “confession,” or “prayer for illumination” could be looked at much more simply. “Love you,” “Sorry,” and “I’m listening” often make more sense not only to new Christians but also to those with more concrete vocabularies. In fact, Vertical Habits impacted my conversation with God as well.
In addition, I had learned as a special educator that repetition is really important for my students. Practicing the same concept in a variety of ways was pivotal to learning new concepts. The same would be true for growing as a Christian. In that way, the use of the word “habit” was also a delight for me. In order to think about the topic of Christian or spiritual formation, the idea of building habits of saying “I love you” to God seemed really important. This vocabulary could be practiced in corporate settings, but also at home before bedtime.
As I looked more deeply into the concept of Vertical Habits, it not only made sense in allowing a person with a disability to enter into worship and grow as a Christian, it also seemed to be a common denominator for all who are worshippers of Jesus Christ. Vertical Habits, therefore, opened the doors to inclusive worship opportunities – a place where all believers can practice these habits and words together.
Since launching this project, many churches, schools, and families have found that the Vertical Habits help both adults and children grow in their relationship with God. In fact, it’s become the structure With Ministries uses when suggesting ideas for Christian formation and including persons with disabilities in corporate worship settings. Other names have sometimes been used to describe the process such as “Created to Worship” and “Growing Towards God.” The Psalms provide a biblical guide to shape the process both in worship and in relationships. Churches, schools, and individuals that use Vertical Habits say it helps develop worship habits that deepen their relationship with God and affect every part of their lives. A school which recently spent a year with Vertical Habits reported, “We will never be the same.”
Vertical Habits At A Glance
Love
You
(Praise) I’m
Sorry
(Confession)
Why?
(Lament) I’m
Listening
(Illumination)
Help
(Petition) Thank
You
(Gratitude) What Can
I Do?
(Service) Bless
You
(Blessing)
Why Habits Are Important
We teach children to brush their teeth regularly so that as they grow it becomes a habit. We teach children to say thank you so that any time someone does something kind for them they respond with gratitude. Helping children and adults develop habits in their relationship with God will help them grow throughout their lives.
These habits can shape our response to a sunset or a siren. We can give thanks to God for the beautiful colors in the sky. We might offer a prayer of protection for the stranger whose life is changed by some trauma that requires the response of the emergency vehicle. Vertical Habits can help people of all ages and abilities develop habits that will point them to God in the circumstances of everyday life. And in so doing, faith is shaped and strengthened.
In the following pages you will find each Vertical Habit that becomes part of our worship conversation with God and therefore part of our Christian Formation. Each Vertical Habit comes with suggestions of how the habit can be taught and practiced during worship that takes place in church, school, small group, and individual times. While we will offer many practical tools on how you can include each individual, you will want to adapt the concepts for your unique context and for those you are including. Be creative. Remember to begin by getting to know the individuals you are including and find out what that person CAN do.
Appendix C is filled with additional ideas generated by the school and churches involved in this Vertical Habits project. Adapt, use, enjoy.
Love You (Praise)
Sing praises to God, sing praises; Sing praises to our King, sing praises, For God is the King of all the earth; Sing to Him a Psalm of Praise.
Psalm 47:6 -7
People experience God’s love expressed through the love of family, teachers, pastors, and friends. Children, for example, enjoy responding to love and expressing their love by drawing a picture of a flower or a rainbow. A hug expresses love without words. And often a warm smile says “I love you” more deeply than words.
Saying “I love you” to God is part of most worship experiences. Whether in a large group or as an individual moving through his or her daily routine, it’s important to give people the opportunity to express love to God. While much of this is done through spoken words or words set to music, consider additional ways to convey those words.
Learning from a story
Christmas Day at my former church congregation was one of my favorite worship services. At the end of the service, they would invite people to come forward and sing the Hallelujah Chorus. I would proudly join the alto section, ready to be thrilled by the music and the text.
Three days before Christmas I hunted down my copy of Handel’s Messiah. I was ready. Two days before Christmas I came down with the sniffles. “No big deal,” I thought. “It’s only the sniffles.” By Christmas morning, however, I had no voice. It was gone. I might have been able to sing the bass line, but the alto line was out of the question. Not only would I not be able to sing the Hallelujah Chorus, I was going to have to sit out of all the Christmas carols lined up for that morning as well. I remember thinking that I might as well stay home that Christmas Day, and that’s exactly what ended up happening.
Many years later, I look on that day as a powerful lesson from God. For a moment in time, I was given the opportunity to know what it is like to be one of my friends who is unable to use language as part of a worship service. Perhaps from a physical difference or some type of intellectual disability, some participants are unable to utter words or songs of praise to God each and every day. My lack of creativity as well as my disobedience on that Christmas Day is overwhelming to me now. Psalm 150:6 says, “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.” The Bible is clear – if you are breathing, you need to be offering praise to God. Singing is one way to do that, but some individuals need to be creative in their praise to God each and every day.
While Psalm 150 ends with the words, everything that has breath praise the Lord, the rest of the Psalm reminds me of some type of idea bank. The Psalmist suggests tambourines, cymbals (even loud ones), dancing, strings, and much more. In fact, singing isn’t even mentioned in this Psalm. What is very clear, however, is that God is worthy of praise, and there are many ways to focus your heart on Him and let Him know. As hard as it was for me to comprehend on that Christmas Day, I had many options available to me. What I lacked was a focused and grateful heart.
Praising God is not optional for Christians. Why, then, do we often offer such limited methods of doing that in our worship services? Saying “I love you” to God is on each heart, not only on the hearts of those who have a voice to speak it forth.
Similar to Psalm 150, the list that follows is an idea bank. Remember, don’t look at what an individual CAN’T do; look for what that person CAN do to praise God. As God has designed each person, it makes sense that He also designed each person to be able to praise Him and follow the expectations laid out for us in Scripture. If singing is not on the list, what options are available and how can you incorporate that into your worship service or personal times of worship? No one is off the hook. If you are breathing, you need to participate. If you are planning the worship service, you need to provide each participant with the opportunity.
Idea Bank for “Love You” (Praise):
1. Teach some basic signs and gestures to your congregation. Many children’s curricula as well as curriculum for persons with disabilities use movements with the words. Although one cannot call these movements “sign language,” which adheres to a very strict grammatical structure for those who are deaf, using some signs and gestures often enhances the meaning of the text. For example, the sign for Jesus is a tactile reminder of the nails that went into the hands of our Savior. If I had known the sign for “Hallelujah” on my voiceless Christmas morning, I could have participated in a new way, giving expression to my love for Jesus. I can say “Love you” to Jesus with sign at other times in the service as well. Perhaps the entire congregation can learn the sign for “Love you,” and use it after prayer times, praise times, or at times of commitment. The internet is rich with resources that could demonstrate signs and gestures that can be paired with words.
2. Create some banners, flags, praise rings, and other items individuals can use to praise God. Waving a wrist ribbon in place of, or in addition to, singing can be a colorful way to show praise to God. Directions for a variety of visual praise instruments can be found in a resource called The Easter Book . Written as part of the curriculum for Friendship Ministries (now With Ministries), this book contains instructions for making many items. Children’s educational supply catalogs also offer pre-made ribbons and flags in the music section.
3. If you are in a setting where you allow participants to choose songs, try putting together a song selection board. Either with pictures or words, make up a set of index-sized cards that allow a person who is not verbal to go forward and point to or pick up a song that the whole group will be singing.
4. Some individuals may be without voice and without much movement. In some cases, you may be able to drape a wheelchair with ribbons of praise and have a person push that wheelchair around the group, allowing the ribbons or flags to surround the congregation. (Make sure you first get permission from the wheelchair user to do this!) The color of the flag or ribbons may also be tied in to the song or message. If one, for example, is singing about the blood of Jesus covering our sins, as the red flag passes each person it is a reminder of the sacrifice and love of Jesus. The individual in the wheelchair, therefore, is not an added extra or exhibit, but a meaningful part of the worship experience for all involved.
5. In some cases, the time of singing and praise can be painful to certain individuals. Primarily for those with auditory sensitivity (where a sound that might be at just the right volume level to most, is painfully loud to a few individuals), churches may need to provide creative ways to mute the sounds so that the person can relax and participate. Some hardware stores sell sound blocking devices used in construction work. These can be very helpful for individuals who need to block out some of the sound during worship. At times, earmuffs or headphones can do that as well. Some individuals may prefer to engage in singing time in the cry room or other room where the volume can be turned down to a comfortable level. The person may then join others for the remainder of the worship service. (For more information on auditory differences and other sensory areas, read the book Autism and Your Church: Nurturing the Spiritual Growth of People with Autism Spectrum Disorder . In this book, I have given several additional adjustments for those who experience sensory differences).
6. Some individuals without speech also have a communication device. It might be a paper board with pictures or a computer that is operated by pushing buttons. Talk to the individual or the individual’s caregiver. It might be possible to program that device to include some things the individual might be able to contribute in a worship setting. For example, one might place 3-4 song selections on that board for the individual to choose. One might put the phrase “love you” on that board so that the individual can select that to say to God. In my experience, teens are often masters at technology. If the individual has other people program the device, teach a couple of teens to operate it so that the individual can respond based on what material or questions are being asked.
7. Ultimately, each one of us needs a chance to make a commitment to accept Jesus as Savior for the first time. Many church settings offer a chance for participants to do just that. If one only allows for a verbal option, some would be unable to participate. Consider having some paper hearts available that can be tailored with the individual’s name. Instead of telling Jesus “love you,” one could place a heart with the individual’s name by a cross or other designated area. Another option would be to teach the signs for “love you” and allow people to speak or sign that as a commitment to Jesus. Think broadly when you give an invitation to accept Christ. Are you being inclusive of all those represented?
8. “Everyone please stand to sing” is a common phrase we use in our worship settings. If someone is unable to stand, it would make more sense to say, “Please stand in body or in spirit.” That way all can participate.
9. This idea bank is only a way to get your own creative juices flowing. Put yourself in the shoes of the individual in your congregation with a disability. If the person is not able to speak, then you try not speaking for a service. What options do you see as one who cannot speak? If the person is unable to use their arms and legs, then you try it for a service. What options do you see? Create those options in large and small group settings and be open to having God use the actions of that individual to touch your congregation in ways you never thought were possible.
I’m Sorry (Confession)
Generous in love – God give grace! Huge in mercy – wipe out my bad record.
Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I’ve been; my sins are staring me down.
You’re the one I’ve violated, and you’ve seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair. Psalm 51:1-4 (The Message)
For both adults and children, confession is difficult. Why do you think this is true? It is hard to acknowledge we have done wrong, that we have hurt someone, that we have responded or acted in anger. But for a healthy relationship with God and with the people in our lives, honest confession is essential. Openly recognizing what we have done and expressing our regret allows us to move forward in healing a relationship. Adults can model confession in their speech with each other, with their children, and in talking with God.
The Bible is filled with assurances that God desires our confessions and promises forgiveness. Adults can demonstrate forgiveness when a child confesses he has done wrong, even though there may be consequences for the action. Expressing love even when someone has disappointed or hurt us demonstrates God’s grace toward all of us.
During worship, churches have a variety of ways to help worshipers confess their sins to God. In some churches this is a regular part of every worship service, along with an assurance of God’s forgiveness. In other churches confession is mentioned only rarely, often because they assume that people are uncomfortable talking about sin. Christians who regularly confess their sins to God and to one another express that the freedom that comes with confession leads to renewed love and praise. Each individual, then, needs a chance to say “I’m sorry” in an inclusive worship setting.
Learning from a story
This vertical habit gives us a chance to examine our own lives and congregations through the eyes of a family with a child with autism spectrum disorder. The parents were delighted in the child’s progress. The young boy had made great gains in Kindergarten. He was cherished by his peers who cheered him on for each new word he could use. As the parent-teacher conference was coming to a close, I asked, “Does Henry enjoy Church school?” They looked at each other and then started to reveal a three-year nightmare. Like all of the other children who turn 3, Henry’s parents took him to Church school. After the hour was over, a very tired teacher took Henry back to his parents and said, “Please don’t ever bring Henry back to Church school.” Unprepared for a child with autism spectrum disorder, the teacher felt she had no other response. Taking this to heart, the parents took turns staying home with Henry. By the time I asked them this question at conferences, it had been three years since they had worshiped together as a family. A call to the pastor, a few strategies for the Church school staff, and now the family is firmly embedded in their congregation.
How many individuals with disabilities have a similar story? I have heard hundreds. A place that should represent inclusion and healing is often the source of pain and rejection. Our churches often have willing hearts, but they don’t always feel as though they have the expertise. God’s expectation, however, is very clear. 1 Corinthians 12:21 says, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’” Have we done this in our church community? Have we sent some away? Have we been inclusive or exclusive?
It appears to me that this vertical habit of confession, saying “I’m sorry” to God, may need to begin with our response to God’s command to live as an inclusive body of Christ. Are you a church community that reflects the amazing diversity that God wove into His body, or are you a community that has been unwilling to make accommodations for those who need them? Have you sent children and youth away from your Church school and youth group? Have you placed barriers for adults who wish to attend your worship service? Perhaps the best place to begin a new path is on our knees – saying “I’m sorry” to God for our disobedience in this area. Make a new commitment to echo God’s heart: Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 1 Corinthians 12:27
Prayer of Confession: Lord, I am sorry. For lack of trusting you for the answers, I have been disobedient to your command to cherish each person in the body of Christ. For the hurt and damage I have done to another member of my family and your body, I am sorry. Teach me your new way. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Idea Bank for “I’m Sorry” (Confession)
1. Ultimately, in addition to telling God, “Love you,” we must also tell God, “I’m sorry.” Once again, some individuals with disabilities will need this concept made more concrete. One way to do that is to select some type of coat or shirt. Put sticky-sided Velcro on the clothing item. Cut out a variety of “puddles” from gray cloth. Put the soft-sided Velcro on the back of those pieces and adhere them to the clothing. Talk about our sin – the things that make God sad – as having dirty mud stuck to us. When we tell Jesus “I’m sorry” for the things that make God sad, and when we say “Love you” to Jesus, He takes those muddy things off from us. Only people with clean clothes can be with God. Allow people to tell God “I’m sorry” and “Love you.” Remove the mud.
2. A way to allow people to say “I’m sorry” without words can come in a chain and scarf exchange. By using a length of chain or mud-colored scarf, drape that around the neck of the individuals involved. Allow that person to come to an area with a cross or another designated spot to tell God “I’m sorry” by letting Him remove the chain. By telling God, “Love you,” you receive a clean scarf in its place. You are now part of His family!
3. Once we have said, “I’m sorry” for the first time, there is still the need to recognize we live in a fallen world. One important thing to remember is that just as we need to be understanding with the actions of others, it’s NOT OK to allow an individual with a disability to continue in sin, excusing it as “they can’t help it.” We may need to be understanding, loving, patient, and more, but just as you would confront another member of God’s family, it’s OK to expect godly living from an individual with a disability. I often do a workshop called “Heads – Promoting Acceptance, Tails – Encouraging Change.” Not only do we need to promote acceptance of an individual on the part of others, we also need to encourage change and growth in the life of that individual. One child with Down syndrome was behaving very badly in Church school – showing a lot of disrespect to the teacher and other children. The leader had decided that it was OK because you couldn’t expect more out of the child. I suggested that it’s not OK to allow that child to go on “sinning.” By putting some other parameters and supports in place, that child could grow and be more accepted by peers as well as exhibit godlier behavior in response to authority.
4. Perhaps because of our fallen nature, one of the very first phrases we teach our young children is “I’m sorry.” We expect them to say that when they have wronged another individual. Presenting the concept of “sorry” to a person with a disability may need to begin with real-life practice. Do some role-playing with situations appropriate to individuals that age. Then apply that to our relationship with God. Just as we say “I’m sorry” to our friend after we hurt him, we can tell God “I’m sorry” too. It made his friend feel happy; it makes God happy too.
5. Teach the sign for “I’m sorry” to your congregation. As a routine in your worship service, allow people to sign and say “I’m sorry” during times of confession.
6. Let people express “I’m sorry” by bowing or kneeling. If appropriate, let them know that God put His words of “I forgive you” in the pastor’s hand or the leader’s hand for right now. When they feel you touch the shoulders or head, it’s like God saying, “I forgive you.”
7. Allow opportunity for your whole congregation to say “I’m sorry” to God for not supporting an inclusive environment for those with unique gifts and needs. Preach a sermon, ask for testimonies, invite a special speaker, inform the congregation of God’s expectation. Let the community say “I’m Sorry” and then allow God’s Spirit to move in your community as you follow His commands.
Additional ideas for community awareness can be found through www.withministries.org, Worship As One: Varied Abilities in the Body of Christ by Barbara J. Newman , and www.faithward.org/everybody-belongs-serving-together. Body Building: Devotions to Celebrate Inclusive Community by Barbara J. Newman would also help children and adults in your community be more understanding and welcoming.
Why? (Lament)
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.
Psalm 13:1-2, 5-6
Sometimes children ask “Why?” so often that we grow weary of answering. Sometimes we can’t answer because we don’t know why. Our lives are filled with experiences we don’t understand – a broken marriage, a crushing diagnosis, a miscarriage, death of a loved one, or life-changing damage to a previously healthy body. Why, Lord? We pray and pray without seeing any healing.
Sometimes in our relationship with God and in our churches we are afraid to ask God these hard questions. Expressing our anger with God because of what has brought us this pain seems inappropriate, even sinful.
But the Bible is filled with people who brought their pain and anger to God. We can be assured that God wants us to express our deepest emotions to Him. We can model this with others by allowing them to express their frustrations and anger to us.
Throughout the Psalms we find examples of people asking God hard questions. But every time they finally recognize God’s love for them, even when circumstances don’t change. Throughout the Bible we discover that the acknowledgement of pain leads to rebirth and new life.
Church leaders who include opportunities for lament in worship help the congregation acknowledge that they can bring their pain to God. This is counter-cultural in our American lifestyle where we try to pretend that our lives are happy and fulfilling. But there is much in our personal lives and in this broken world that brings us pain. We must be given permission and expression to ask God “Why, Lord?”
Learning from a story
He truly is a miracle. He wasn’t expected to live past the first few days of his life. Jordan was born with bones the consistency of sawdust and a condition known as Osteogenesis Imperfecta (Brittle Bone Disease). Changing a diaper would break his bones, and he was carried around on a pillow to prevent injury. God’s plan for Jordan’s life was different than the plan of the doctor. He not only lived to see his first birthday, but he is fully alive today and very much a high school graduate. He still has brittle bones, lots of risks and injuries, but those who know Jordan realize he is a vibrant part of God’s body.
As we talk to friends and family who know Jordan, it’s clear that Jordan is a miracle. You don’t only read the Bible to understand miracles, you can know Jordan’s story and realize that God is active today in doing miracles. This is the truth.
It is also the truth that Jordan’s siblings had a very unfortunate event one summer. After many issues with his health, they were able to go to the theme park Cedar Point, where Jordan’s disability allowed them a fast trip to the front of the lines. Unfortunately, at the start of the day, Jordan’s wheelchair tipped over, and he had another broken bone or two. The siblings knew that it was the right thing to do to leave with Jordan and head for the hospital. The siblings know that Jordan is loved by God and is a miracle. They also know how to ask that important question of God, “Why?” Why did Jordan have to break a bone today? Why do we have to say good-bye to mom so many days as she heads out with Jordan for treatments? Why do our needs go on hold so much of the time just to keep Jordan alive? Why does he have to hurt so much? Why don’t the treatments make him all the way better? Why? How long? Although the brain knows the ultimate truth of God, the heart is quickly drawn into the everyday experience – and we ask “Why?”
One of the blessings of the inclusive school setting where I teach is that we have many siblings of individuals who have disabilities. Sometimes they lament together. Sometimes the siblings compare notes of trips that were cancelled, restaurants they had to leave, stares of passing people, conditions of brothers and sisters. It’s OK to lament. It’s OK to ask “Why?”
It’s also important to have people there to finish the Psalm of Lament. It’s important to experience the community of Christ with people who can state the truth. Psalm 13 ends with:
But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.
When all the questions have been asked, it’s important to return to the truth of what we know.
With Jordan and his family, we echo the questions of “Why?’ and “How long?” We know that Brittle Bone Disease stinks, and we also question why the family’s trip had to end that way one summer. We also join hands with you, praising God for His miracle in Jordan, and we give our strong testimony, “But I trust in your unfailing love.”
Idea Bank for “Why?” (Lament)
1. Done with the permission of the individual or individual’s family, sometimes it’s helpful to hear a person’s story. Hopefully hearing Jordan’s story allows the issue of lament to become more understandable. Hopefully hearing Jordan’s story also encourages us to speak God’s truth about who Jordan is and where our hope lies. Many individuals with disabilities have a powerful testimony. Sometimes it’s a miracle. Sometimes it’s the opportunity to hear about a person who asked “Why?” many days and can now give powerful testimony to God’s work in her life. Using a newsletter, bulletin insert, or testimony time, telling an individual’s story can be a powerful way to better understand the whole concept of lament.
2. Many Psalms are considered a lament. Sometimes one can pick out a phrase that is repeated or inserted into a Psalm. Teach the signs and short phrase. As you read the Psalm, have the congregation speak or sign the repetitive phrase throughout the reading.
3. Teach the sign for “Why?” Let the congregation use that sign during this portion of the service.
4. Have a picture of an eye, an ear, and a brain. Let people talk about what they see and hear. Perhaps after a natural disaster or a congregational event of sadness, talk about the experience of what you see and hear. Then talk about what you know to be true about God. Talk about His love, His plan, His hope. Put that under the brain picture. It’s OK to talk about what we see and hear, but it’s also important to talk about what we know.
5. Put a small dumbbell in each hand. In one hand talk about the experience of what happened (the sadness, the event). Raise that dumbbell. Then raise the other one and talk about who God is – what you know to be true. Do these exercises, realizing that you need to change the weight of what you know to a bigger size. Despite what we experience, what we know about God is stronger and bigger.
6. Have people create a visual image or collage of current events that make us wonder about “Why?” this happened. When the collage is complete, place the phrase “I put my hope in God” or other similar Scripture that allows us to see that God’s hope and His truth cover the events.
7. Although a visual collage is helpful, you might be able to use an individual for this activity. As a person shares their situation and people respond with a time of joining in asking “Why?”, have congregation members write God’s truth on sticky-notes and place it on and around that individual or family.
8. Many times people with disabilities have hurts and questions that run very deep. After leading people through freedom appointments as outlined by Neil Anderson in The Bondage Breaker: Overcoming Negative Thoughts, Irrational Feelings, Habitual Sins , it’s clear to me that we can get stuck in the questions and never move on to the statements of truth and hope. As you allow people to share their hurts, fears, and disappointments, be prepared to listen and speak God’s truth over them. It’s in that reality that we as Christians get to live. It’s in that place that we can experience God’s peace even in difficult times. Give that gift to those in our community who struggle with issues of body and mind. It will be healing ointment for the soul!
I’m Listening (Illumination)
How can those who are young keep their way pure?
By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart;
Do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.
Psalm 119:9-11, 15-16
When we are talking with children we might ask, “Are you listening to me?” We are aware that when minds wander, instructions may not be heard with any accuracy. Sometimes in talking with other adults, we might be tempted to ask, “Are you listening?” Only with listening can there be a healthy relationship. Finding ways to capture your child’s attention is probably something that has already been part of your role as a parent.
God tells us that it is important that we listen to Him. His word gives instruction for our relationship with Him and with others. In Psalm 119 we are reminded of the importance of having Scripture in our hearts that will shape all our decisions and actions.
In some churches there is prayer before Scripture asking God to open our hearts and minds to what God is saying to us. It turns out that children are not the only ones who have wandering minds. Adults, too, must be reminded of the importance of listening to God and to each other.
We live in a noisy, busy world filled with demands, expectations and activities. How might we experiment with ways to make space to focus on God? Some families have a time or place where technology is not permitted. Instead, they spend time talking with each other. Helping people practice time alone or with a good book is a gift to them in this world filled with distractions.
Learning from a story
As we look at this phrase “I’m listening,” it appears that the opportunity for each person to truly listen to God can often depend on the mode of presentation. Although God can speak directly to the heart of an individual, I believe He expects us to be faithful in presenting His Word in ways that will connect with the listeners. For the pastor led to preach on a particular topic or a youth leader presenting God’s Word, we need to put it in language that will be understood by those ready to listen – those who come hungry to hear and say to God, “I’m listening.”
The pastor in this church made the invitation each week to come forward for prayer. A congregation member with autism spectrum disorder was listening to God’s call. She was living in a place of unforgiveness towards Sue who worked in her group home several years ago. The problem, however, was that this was the 36th week that Lynnae had come forward for prayer. The pastor wondered how to handle this. I asked how he was praying with her. Lynnae told about the things Sue had done and then he asked permission to put his hand on her shoulder and they prayed together. At the end of the prayer Lynnae hugged the pastor and gave a big smile. The next week, however, Lynnae was back up front asking to forgive the same individual.
The pastor needed to know some more information about Lynnae. He needed to better work through getting to know the individual. Lynnae learns very little by ear, but she learns a lot through her eyes. I suggested the next time they write Sue’s name on a sticky-note, carry it over to the cross in front of the church, and pray about forgiveness as taking that person and putting her with Jesus to take care of the problem. Lynnae didn’t need to think about Sue anymore because Jesus would take care of the problem. I also suggested they leave the sticky-note there for the next week because coming forward for prayer was a habit. But when the pastor saw Lynnae, he could ask where they put Sue and see that she was forgiven and still with Jesus.
The next week Lynnae came forward and the pastor pointed out the sticky-note. She smiled and walked away. That was the last time she came forward for prayer about Sue. While they had talked about forgiveness 36 weeks in a row, Lynnae needed to understand it in a visual way. She was listening to God’s call to come forward for prayer, but the pastor needed some different presentation tools.
Idea Bank for “I’m Listening” (Illumination)
1. Although each person with a disability is a unique individual, you will have a much greater impact if you involve more of the senses of those listening. That’s actually true for each of us. For example, you could talk about the sword of the Spirit, but actually swinging a sword around as you talk will increase the likelihood that people will connect with your words. By asking people to swing their arms as if holding a sword as you have them speak some phrases along with you will increase the possibility of hearing the information even more. If you are talking about being a prophet, priest, and king, consider having three hats with those words written on them. As you talk about each role or “hat” we wear as Christians, wear the accompanying hat. Providing hat patterns for people to make their own to wear as they review the points at home will really allow the concept to sink in more deeply. How can you add a prop, a set, an action, a drama, or a take-home piece that will reinforce the words you are speaking? Can’t think of one? Share your lesson or message with someone who is a visual person in your group or congregation. Find a person who “thinks in pictures” and let them provide you with some ideas.
2. Think of the example provided in Scripture. When God said “Do this in remembrance of me,” how did He set it up? God wanted us to remember what Jesus has done for us, and He made it totally possible for every type of learner to connect. The Lord’s Supper is something that pulls in several sensory systems. We hear the words in Scripture, taste the wine and bread, smell the fragrance of the elements, touch them as we receive the elements, taste them, and often involve movement as we go forward or pass the elements to the next person. If we let Communion serve as our example, we will be all set! Think multi-sensory!
3. Boil down your lesson or message to one main point. What is the one big idea you want people to understand? As you pull in other points and sub-topics, remember to highlight your one big idea throughout the lesson. Perhaps you will have people repeat it with you. You might always display the “big idea” in PowerPoint or on a poster. You could save the posters to display to help people trigger the memory of your previous messages.
4. Some individuals might benefit from sitting with a mentor or interpreter.
This person could quickly translate confusing phrases or answer questions as they arise. This person would be responsible for trying to have the individual connect with the message. It could be as simple as whispering “Jesus loves you, Matt” into the ear of the friend. The person might restate or clarify, “Pastor is talking about a flood, lots of water. Can you draw lots of water on this picture?” As the message continues, they would add elements to their picture story to reflect that Noah would be safe, just like Matt is safe with God. Training four people to be a mentor for one individual would allow each person to fit into that role one time per month. Those four people would get to know Matt and how he best learns and grows.
5. Add pictures. By using PowerPoint or other pictures, you will have a reference point for those who comprehend words more slowly or differently. Church school or small group leaders should have a bank of visuals to draw from each week. If you can’t find the pictures you want, use a digital camera to take some. Have friends dress up like characters or express a certain emotion on their faces.
6. Develop bulletins that can stand alongside the message. Have a person in your congregation who is savvy with a computer have the pastor’s message a day or two in advance. Come up with activities that will go along with the message. If there is a verse you are highlighting, then do some type of fill in the blank activity with that verse. If you are talking about Mary and Joseph, have people draw in those characters beside the manger. What parts of the message could you turn into an activity sheet?
7. There may be times when a topic is very difficult for an individual with an intellectual disability. It’s at those times when an alternate curriculum might be best. Including the individual in a portion of the worship service or age-appropriate class is excellent. The other portion, however, might be better spent with a mentor who can communicate in a more effective way. Remember, only do this for a PORTION of the time. By always moving an individual, the body of Christ is missing an important part. Preserve the body, and then provide portions of time for pullout instruction. With Ministries has excellent materials one can use in these types of settings. The Together Bible study offers a high quality curriculum designed to be accessible for people of all abilities, especially persons with intellectual disabilities . Standard Publishing3 has made all of their Church school and Vacation Bible School materials inclusive so that there are tips for connecting with children with and without areas of disability located in the materials prepared for the general group.
8. There are those individuals with disabilities for whom it appears there is very little understanding and connection with others. How does one allow this individual to listen? I believe that God wires each one of us to connect to Him in some way. Whether that method is by ear, eye, or touch, the wiring is there. As you include this person in your congregation, pray over that individual that God would speak directly to his or her heart and mind. Ask for God’s Spirit to make a connection that humans appear to be unable to make. Praise God for His ability and knowledge to complete the wiring job.
9. Teach your congregation the sign for “I’m listening.” Have them sign that throughout your message, as you get ready to repeat the “big idea” or another important concept.
10. You can make a telephone out of PVC pipe. Not only does it look like a telephone from a few years ago, it provides great feedback to the ear when you speak or whisper into it. Connect two corner pieces with a straight piece. Use the PVC pipe phones before your message. Let people know there is a phone call from God. Have individuals say into that phone “I’m listening.”
11. Know the individual. Get to know the gifts and needs of each person.
An individual with a hearing loss may need an interpreter or a special sound system set up in the sanctuary. A person with low vision may benefit from larger print or books in Braille. PowerPoint without some type of verbal presentation won’t connect with a person who is unable to see it. Do you need a ramp or special seating for a person with a physical difference? Get to know your people. Once you have done that, it might be helpful to establish a connection (done with confidentiality issues in mind) with others who know this person well. Find out what others have used to effectively interact with this person. Try a few new things. Be creative.
Help (Petition)
Hear me, Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.
Guard my life, for I am faithful to you, save your servant who trusts in you. You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you.
Psalm 86:1-4
Children run to their parents or other people they trust when they are afraid. Often there are no words to express fear, but it is quickly evident that the child is terrified. Sometimes the danger is real, sometimes it is perceived. Regardless of the cause, the child seeks protection and assurance.
Adults, too, experience fear. God tells us that we can come to Him for help. Perhaps we bring a desperate plea because of a life-altering experience. Perhaps we ask for help in making decisions or in relationships.
A congregation comes together in worship to ask for God’s help. It may be for our own personal needs, for the needs of others, or for the needs of the world.
As parents we know the importance of our children trusting us enough that they can come to us when they are afraid. God invites His children of all ages and abilities to bring their fears and uncertainties to Him.
Why is it often hard to ask for help? Our culture teaches us that we should be self-sufficient. There is a perception that asking for help is a sign of weakness. In healthy human relationships and in our relationship with God, it is essential that we humble ourselves and acknowledge that we need others.
Learning from a story #1
It was obvious the man needed help. He had probably used that word many times each day of his life. This man was unable to walk. Daily care required others. He needed help moving, getting food, getting dressed, and making a living. His friends had heard about Jesus and wanted to take him to a place where they could witness a miracle. They knew that Jesus could make their friend walk. Carrying him on a mat, they found an obstacle. The crowd was too thick. The hope of getting this man to Jesus seemed slim in the large this idea, but they removed part of the roof and lowered the man in front of Jesus. Jesus healed the heart and body of this man because of the faith of his friends. What an amazing truth – the faith of a community of believers moved the healing hand of God. Not only do I see this as an example of the importance of holding up our friends with disabilities before God, I also see a group of people committed to modifications and accommodations. Use whatever word makes the most sense to you, but getting this man before Jesus required creative thinking and an alternate route.
Help. Sometimes we don’t like to ask for that. It’s much easier to be the helper than the helpee. Some of our friends with disabilities, however, are well acquainted with that word. While it might take me 30 minutes to get from my bed to the car, ready to face the workday, an individual who uses a wheelchair may find the morning routine taking much longer. While I can reach the top shelf at the local food store, an individual with a physical challenge may be unable to do that. “Help.”
How easy it is for many of us to avoid that word “Help.” After all, if I just work harder and longer, I can do it myself. That, however, is not the way God desires for us to live. Not only do we show pride by not acknowledging our daily need of God’s help, He gives us a community where we are expected to ask for help. He expects us to support one another so that our areas of giftedness will complement another’s area of need. Our needs, then, require the giftedness of others.
Learning from a story #2
It was such a difficult day. The drama team I directed was performing that morning, and I was exhausted. Life at school and home was more hectic than I could handle. Instead of asking for help, I just tried to up my performance and tried to put on a happy face in front of people.
I arrived at the church that morning and tried to use one of my smiles to cover up a sea of exhaustion. It was working. No one seemed to notice. Then Jonathan sat down beside me. I had been Jonathan’s teacher when he was young, and now he played the role of Jesus in the play. Jonathan and I had known one another for 25 years. I, however, was typically in the teacher or leader role.
He reached his hand out for mine and said in halted and broken sentences (Jonathan has Down syndrome), “Mrs. B, you look sad today. I will pray for you.” He did. Cover blown. And God used his words and presence in my life to heal my hectic and broken insides on that day.
On that day, Jonathan dug through the outer covering I had placed over myself in order to set me in front of God. He was the friend; I was the one on the mat desperately in need of the presence of Jesus Christ.
Don’t ever assume you know which one is on the mat. As a church, we need to surround one another. What will it take to get each one of us before Jesus? What will it take to reach each individual? For some, it requires brainstorming and creative friends as are mentioned in the Bible. What changes need to be made in order for an individual to understand and enjoy a worship service? What additions or deletions need to be in place for someone to access the fellowship provided in a small group? Whether voiced or unvoiced, we need to ask for help from one another so that each one can stand face to face with God and make that same request to Him, “Help.” Make a clear path for that conversation to happen.
Idea Bank for “Help” (Petition)
*This will also include some educational changes you can make to help support the needs of some individuals in classroom settings.
1. As you use the word “Help” in your worship service, teach the sign language for this word.
2. Getting help from someone is certainly well within the understanding of individuals with disabilities. When you transfer that to asking God for help, it might make more sense to some individuals to have a picture of Jesus, an empty chair, or a specific place where people can bring requests for help. By writing out requests for help and placing them on that chair or by that picture, it allows you to also track God’s answers. If someone is asking for help during a surgery, then it’s powerful to go back to that written request for help and comment on God’s answer. This is a great time to bring in the response of “thank you.”
3. Although it’s important to be ready to offer help to an individual, some people with unique gifts and needs have stories and issues that can seem overwhelming to us. Many times an individual will come to a person with a problem or situation and expect that individual to give an answer. It’s important, however, to model for that person that you do not hold those hard answers – but you know who does. No matter what the situation, you know where to go with that hurt or feeling. You know that all of those issues are safe in God’s hands. Teach individuals to go to God. It’s great to talk to a friend, but God is the one who answers prayers. He is the hero – you are not. He is the source of all strength – you are not. Reroute the word “help” to the proper place – God.
4. In some small group settings, it’s helpful to have pictures available during prayer time. A person with limited speaking ability may be able to point to a picture and ask for help using picture communication.
5. For some people, it’s hard to access words when one is frustrated or anxious. Although a child or adult may use words to ask for help, some people won’t be able to ask verbally. It’s important, therefore, to be mindful of having some type of non-verbal arrangement available for a child or adult who may need to leave a particular setting. For example, some leaders have a “break ticket” hanging on a wall. Instead of asking to be excused, an individual is welcome to grab that ticket and leave. It allows people with limited language (for either permanent or temporary reasons) a chance to make a request without using words. It’s also a great system if the leader notices an individual is becoming stressed or anxious. The leader can take the ticket and hand it to the individual, suggesting that a break might be helpful.
6. There are certain individuals you know will need support and help to make church a happy and successful place. There are some other individuals who may benefit from some modifications, but they stem from learning needs, not physical needs. For example, a Church school class may have a child who receives support in school for reading and writing. When it’s time to read aloud, that child may wish to crawl under the table. It’s for these individuals for whom some simple changes may help increase happiness at church. Some individuals need accommodations in the area of reading. Here are some things you might be able to try:
Find the book or passage on a recording. The Bible in most versions is available for free on a Bible app called You Version . Once downloaded on your device, it has a feature that will read the passage out loud.
Do partner reading where the individual is paired with a friend who can read the passage out loud.
Some individuals may need larger print.
Others may be able to participate by highlighting key words with a highlighter or highlighter tape.
Sometimes copying the book passage, enlarging the print, and using a different color background paper (like blue or green) can help an individual read the words more easily.
Some may be able to read pictures, and a friend could translate some of the passage by putting a small picture or icon by some of the words.
Sometimes it helps to practice in advance. If, for example, a class generally takes turns reading aloud, an individual might be assigned a section the week before so that he or she can practice that portion.
Find the same information at an easier reading level. If the story is from Genesis, one might be able to find a picture book or Bible storybook that shows pictures in addition to a more simplified text.
7. Writing is a complex task – even more difficult than reading. Some individuals need accommodations in the area of writing. Here are some things you might be able to try:
Use a partner. The pair must talk about what is written before it’s put on paper, but only one person does the writing. Have two people, but only one final paper product.
Have an individual copy key words into blanks instead of trying to originate a whole sentence or paragraph. (Sometimes it’s easier to copy from a paper beside the person than from a board or overhead.)
Lessen the amount of writing expected. Instead of a whole page, ask for a few key words.
Use technology. Have the individual put thoughts on a recording rather than on paper.
Supply a few options. Instead of writing, perhaps a picture or outline or collage might be appropriate.
Sometimes it’s best to use a scribe. Have a leader or partner write for the individual.
Things like keyboards, larger sized pencils, and adapted crayons or markers can be very helpful. If appropriate, ask caregivers what tools would be the most helpful in the area of writing.
8. Many individuals need accommodations in fine motor activities and crafts. Here are some things you might be able to try:
Sometimes having a variety of sizes for scissors, markers, crayons,
and other tools can be very helpful. Check teacher stores and catalogs for ideas.
Simple changes to a project can allow some people to participate.
For example, instead of drawing animals on the paper, have the person put animal stickers on the paper. Instead of cutting out the objects and then gluing them down, have those objects pre-cut for the individual to glue.
If it’s a project with multiple steps, sometimes it helps to explain the project and then sit beside the individual and do one yourself for the individual to follow.
Try to think through the steps of the project. What portions could the individual accomplish? You do the other parts.
Start thinking about the individuals in your class at least a day ahead. This will allow you to get ready and have the needed supplies available.
9. Have a team of friends do the thinking. It’s helpful to have at least one other person to put together modifications. Just like the man in our Bible passage had faithful friends, sometimes it takes one person to move the tiles while another gets rope to lower the mat. Whatever the arrangements, multiple minds are almost always better than one.
10. Include input from the individual with the disability. Sometimes it’s easy to ask for input from everyone else, but remember to talk to your friend about necessary accommodations. Is that chair comfortable? Which marker would you rather use? Would you like me to read this to you, or would you like a recording of the Bible passage? Include the preferences of the individual involved.
11. Be sensitive to those with milder needs. There are times when certain individuals prefer to have no accommodations, even when you know it might help that person. Some children, for example, would prefer to not be singled out when everyone else is using the same type of pencil. In this case, it might take some time to build trust with that person.
12. The Bible story about faithful friends is an excellent one to share in a Church school class or other child’s group. Not only can you encourage the group to pray for a classmate and friend, it can also allow you to brainstorm with the group. How can we make it easier for Justin to be part of this class? What could we do during Bible story so he can answer a question? Children can be highly creative, and involving them in the discussion can also encourage them to be more involved with the friend.
13. As you involve peers, it’s important to remember the difference between a “friend” and a “mother.” In fact, you might want to spend some time role-playing the difference. I generally tell classes that Jason already has a mom. What Jason needs is a friend. Then I enjoy showing the difference between those two types of interactions.
14. As children and adults interact, be willing to give specific feedback.
Instead of saying “I’m glad you are nice to Justin,” try saying “I like the way you let Justin try his glue lid first, and then you asked if he wanted help. It’s great to let him try it on his own, but you were right there to help out before he got frustrated.” Not only are you giving a pat on the back, you are helping to shape future interactions. Whereas schools are building relationships that will last a few years, churches are building relationships that may last a lifetime. Justin and his friend may grow old together in this church community. You may be shaping this friendship for years to come.
15. Don’t recreate the wheel when it comes to finding helpful modifications and accommodations. If allowed by parents, guardians, or the individual, check with the current school or placement to find out what has been successful with an individual. Parents are a great source of information – ask them. In adult care homes, workers may be more than willing to share ideas with you. Don’t be shy about asking.
Make sure to reference Appendix B. The Substitution Guide lists common activities we do in church settings with alternative options for that activity. Feel free to make copies from the website listed so that each church volunteer can reference this guide.
Thank You (Gratitude)
Praise our God, all people, let the sound of His praise be heard; He has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver.
You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.
You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water,
But you brought us to a place of abundance. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld His love from me.
Psalm 66:8-12, 20
Learning to express thanks is one of the first emotions of relationship that many children learn. When someone gives something to them, does something for them, when love is expressed in any way, parents teach their children to respond with gratitude. It may be with words, a sparkle in the eye, a smile, some recognition that someone cares enough about them to express love.
In worship we have opportunity to express our thanks to God. Perhaps we name the reasons for our gratitude. Often it is easy to thank God for material blessings but practicing the habit of naming and giving thanks for spiritual blessings can help deepen our gratitude to God. It also protects us from disappointment or discouragement when we pass through times when it seems our material blessings are limited. The focus on spiritual blessings can change our perspective from a sense of scarcity to abundance. Thanking God for all He has given us rather than grieving what we do not have leads to joy and contentment. Helping people identify God’s many gifts – His faithfulness, patience, forgiveness – can help them express thanks, especially in difficult times.
Learning from a prayer
Please join me in this prayer of Thanksgiving for certain individuals through whom God has touched my life in profound ways. As I mention these
individuals, perhaps you could begin your own prayer for similar people in your life.
Thank you, God, for Lana. She was an example to me of how you long to spend time with us. Lana would take any snippets of time I would give her. She loved to just hang out with me. Whether we had anything to say or not, she would just be with me. I know you love me that way too, God. I remember clearly the day that the newspaper reporter took several pictures of us together. She kept that article and memory with her all the time. Sometimes I think you hold me close to your heart like that too. I also know the day she got so jealous of my sharing attention with others, and she threw her shoe at me across the classroom. Thank you that I ducked in time. I’m sure you must get jealous too, God. I deserve to have a whole closet full of shoes whipped in my direction! Thank you for Lana and her love. Thank you for your love and grace. Thank you, too, that she is now with you – no longer hindered by lack of oxygen. Her face would turn purple, and now I think her face must glow from being in your presence. Thank you for Lana, the first friend of mine who happened to have Down syndrome.
Thank you, God, for John and Andrea. They both loved music so very much. They both had a zest and love for life. I enjoyed them as students and children of yours. For both of those children, they were with me one day and with you the next. You made me grow, God. You made me think about the importance of how I treated each child every day. You gave me a passion for making sure each one knew about you and made a commitment to you. I rejoice that now both children are released to praise you fully. Andrea’s tongue, slowed by Down syndrome, and John’s body, so easily thrown into seizures, are now completely unhindered as they praise you. I look forward to meeting them again, not as students, but totally as my sister and brother in Christ.
Thank you for Jessica. You taught me that spiritual warfare is real. You allowed me to witness the transformation that takes place when we accept Christ as Savior. I know that I had seen it before, but Jessica having autism spectrum disorder allowed me to see it with the social veil removed. I saw the instant transformation in her speech and countenance. I saw you enter her life, and she put up no barriers to block your entrance. I got to see the transformation from death to life in the face of a young girl. I hear your words through her. She has a profound relationship with you. “My body may have autism, but my spirit does not.” Autism does not take away from her life with you. In fact, Jessica and you have something very special together. You and I have something very special together, too. Thanks for loving each one of us, searching us out, fighting for us, and being in relationship with us – a relationship that is unique to each one.
Thank you for Stu. When I asked for first grade volunteers to help support a child with Cerebral Palsy, he jumped in with all he had. He was so sad the day he got sick and had to stay home because he could not be with his friend. Stu, and so many others like him at my school, is a gift from you.
When I watch him delight in his buddy, it reminds me of the way you want me to delight in the people who surround my life.
Thank you for Lana, John, Andrea, Jessica, Stu, and so many more. You have enriched my life through them.
In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Idea Bank for “Thank You” (Gratitude)
1. Once again, teach the sign for “Thank You.” You can use it in prayers, in songs, and in conversations with God and others.
2. Children learn at a very young age to say, “Thank You.” To allow that concept to transfer, practice on real people first. For example, you might like to give a friend a gift or treat and request that she sign or say, “Thank You.” Then look at a picture of a flower or something else in nature. Tell your friend that God gave you that gift of a flower just like you gave her the gift of a candy treat. Together, you can say and sign “Thank You” to God.
3. Having a picture bank is an excellent way to talk about things for which we are thankful. Instead of trying to come up with an idea with no visual, it allows someone to get an idea or to point to a picture. I was in a worship service with an individual who has a picture board she uses for communication. As part of prayer requests, her mentor asked her to show what she was thankful for. After selecting an item, the mentor said, “Mary is thankful for Rob.” That was incorporated into the prayer that day.
4. Psalm 136 is an excellent one to use in a responsive reading. By teaching the phrase (perhaps even in sign) “His love endures forever,” one can participate in the worship service by reading a portion of Scripture. Repetition is often very helpful for individuals with an intellectual disability. Depending on your type of service, sometimes it’s helpful to use more repetitive phrases. For example, by having everyone say, “Thanks be to God” each time you have finished reading Scripture, it will allow participation each week for certain individuals.
5. Focus on the glass being half full. Let’s face it, there are many people who struggle each day with difficult circumstances. Although it’s easy to be consumed with those issues, it’s also important to allow that individual to focus on the gifts that God has given. Begin a routine of starting a conversation by saying “Today I am thankful for .” If you do that each time you see a particular individual, he will begin to prepare for your conversation and focus on those gifts. It’s also a great conversation starter at a family mealtime.
6. We generally think about a cornucopia being a Thanksgiving decoration.
Consider having one that is available year-round. Use a basket as a cornucopia and turn the top of the basket into a piggy bank slot. As people share a story or event, you can quickly grab a pen and write out, “Deb is thankful for her new job.” Put it in that display. Every once in a while, take the slips out and thank God for those items that people have submitted.
7. Ask an artist in your church to make you some pictures or look for other pictures that show attributes of God. For example, God is strong. God is a healer. God loves. As you show the picture, the group can pray along, “Thank you, God, for being strong. Thank you, God for being a doctor healer.” Having the pictures to go along with the words can help make prayer more concrete.
8. Has your congregation or family been blessed by the presence of an individual with a disability? Perhaps you would consider thanking God for that individual. What gifts has God given your group because of the presence of that person? As an image-bearer of God, what do you see in that person that makes you think about God?
If you want to delight in some other stories of the gifts that persons with disabilities bring to our communities, considering reading Body Building: Devotions to Celebrate Inclusive Community written by Barbara J. Newman .
What Can I Do? (Service)
What shall I return to the Lord for all His goodness to me?
I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord.
I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people,
In the courts of the house of the Lord in your midst, Jerusalem.
Praise the Lord!
Psalm 116:12, 17-19
In a loving relationship we want to put our emotions into action and offer something to the one we love. Parents teach children that a response to love is to do something helpful and loving in return. A child may willingly help with work around the house when parents explain the significance of returning love through actions.
In our relationship with God, His love for us leads us to serve Him and the people He puts into our lives. A valuable conversation with others can help them explore what they can do to express love for others. They may wish to do something special for a person who they love at home or church or school. Help them be creative.
Learning from a story
At the beginning of this book I referenced green and pink puzzle pieces, with the color green representing our strengths and the color pink our weaknesses. When we say to God, “What can I do?” we are offering up our green (and even our pink) areas in His service. That is just as true for a person who is typically developing as it is for a person who has a disability. Service is an expectation for each one of us.
At our annual Harvest Festival, the community was treated to candy at each event. One of our candy passers held the bowl on her lap as the rest of her body was immobilized due to Cerebral Palsy. Each child got a smile from her and a piece of candy. She was using a gift she had to serve others, and everyone was blessed by it!
Idea Bank for “What Can I Do?” (Service)
1. Remember, the place to begin is getting to know the individual. If you skipped over part 3 of this book, please go back to complete those activities. Remember, not everyone with a disability is gifted to be a greeter. Discover the individual’s gifts and needs.
2. Plug that person in to your community based on the strengths and gifts.
Although each individual is unique, here are a few ideas:
greeting
coffee serving
library assistant
stuffing member mailboxes
picking up attendance sheets
support person with children
intercessor – praying for the needs of others
creator of artwork
building maintenance
yardwork
office support person
counting the offering, sorting the money
taking attendance
making food
hosting for small group
visiting senior citizens
any match of gift to a situation at church
3. It might be helpful to have a mentor with an individual to serve as a coach for a while. By greeting with another individual, you can form a bond with a peer as well as learn skills from one another. Although there might be a time when an individual can make coffee on her own, having a mentor to teach and guide initially is important.
4. Look for ways to include that individual in existing service projects at your church. For example, if your youth group is going on a mission trip, do you have a youth group member with a disability that might also be able to go along? Perhaps part of the service opportunity would be to form a circle of support around this individual so that he or she could participate in the project. If you have a weekly food distribution or food pantry, perhaps an individual could work in this area.
5. Once again, you may want to teach the sign language for “What can I do?”
6. If you have a digital camera available, you might want to take pictures of a variety of people in your group, including an individual with a disability. As you ask for people to make a commitment, “What can I do?” you might want to have those pictures cycling through on a screen. “Here are some people from our church. God wants you to serve Him. What can you do?” By including that individual, you not only speak to the individual, but also to your entire community.
7. Sometimes an individual with unique gifts and needs can be an opportunity for service for others in your church. Forming support groups around an individual can provide mutual blessings. In the school setting we often offer children a circle of friends. This group agrees to befriend the individual and support the needs as well as celebrate the gifts. In Worship As One: Varied Abilities in the Body of Christ , there is a section on Community Teams. Taking the circle of friends concept, church volunteers agree to surround an individual or family. They get to know one another and commit to supporting that person. This is also known as a Wrap-Around Support team.
Bless You (Blessing)
O my soul, bless God.
From head to toe, I’ll bless His holy name!
O my soul, bless God, don’t forget a single blessing!
He forgives your sins – everyone. He heals your diseases – everyone.
He redeems you from hell – saves your life!
He crowns you with love and mercy – a paradise crown.
He wraps you in goodness – beauty eternal.
He renews your youth – you’re always young in His presence.
God has set His throne in heaven; He rules over us all. He’s the King!
So bless God, you angels, ready and able to fly at His bidding,
quick to hear and do what He says.
Bless God, all you armies of angels, alert to respond to whatever He wills.
Bless God, all creatures wherever you are – everything and everyone made by God. And you, O my soul, bless God!
Psalm 103:1-5, 19-22 (The Message)
When we practice the Vertical Habits we are reminded of the blessings God has given to us, we bless God out of gratitude to Him and we extend that blessing to other people. Perhaps blessing is the most difficult concept to teach to young children. Maturity is needed to understand God’s blessings to us and the ways we can bless others.
But even the youngest among us can experience the assurance and comfort of a blessing. Some parents speak a blessing to their children when they put them to bed. Families may express a blessing when they gather around the table for a meal. We can speak a blessing over one another in the body of Christ.
A worship service typically ends with a blessing. God’s blessing is given to His people and they are charged to go out to be a blessing to others. In some churches people are encouraged to open their hands to receive the blessing. For many people this can be especially meaningful to experience God’s blessing for them.
Learning from a story
Every day of the year, my mom would set out breakfast and serve us with love and respect. Generally, by about the end of April, however, I began to search mom’s Ladies Home Journal magazine. Anticipating Mother’s Day in May, I would hunt for those amazing ideas the family could do to “bless” mom. I read what other families had done, and it sounded pretty good. Mom would like breakfast in bed. Mom would enjoy having a whole day without touching the dishes. That craft on page 42 looks really cute. She would not expect to have a large gift, but when the actions of her family back up the words they say (“I love you, Mom”), it blesses her. Actions plus words really say it all.
“Bless you” is not only something we can say to God, but I believe we need to back up those words with actions. 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4 says, Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. This passage (other translations use the word “Bless” instead of “Praise”) certainly lets us know that as we bless God as the one who gives us comfort, we in turn are expected to actively pass on that comfort to others. Another passage in James says, “What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him,
‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed’, but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?” James 2: 14-16 As we reach our hands out to God and say “Bless you,” I would imagine God is a bit like Mom on Mother’s Day. She is blessed by the actions that back up those words.
What if the passage from James were worded a bit differently? “What good is it, brothers and sisters in Christ, if a person raises their arms to God and cries out ‘Bless you!’ but there are no actions to back up those words? Suppose there is a brother in your church community who has Down syndrome. That person is not allowed in Sunday school or the worship service. If one of you says to him, ‘We are the body of Christ. You were made in God’s image, and you have an honored place here as part of that body’, but you do nothing to create that spot, what good are your words?”
1 Corinthians 12 is not a suggestion; it’s a picture and command of how God expects us to live with others in the body of Christ. As you take steps to back up those words with your actions, I know you will have created a concrete way to bless God. God’s heart is open and bleeding for those He sent us – those whom many have turned away. A church is to be His agent of healing in this world, and many persons with disabilities will testify to the hurt and pain they have experienced from exclusion. Exclusion does NOT bless God. Inclusion, and our obedience to His heart, will bless God.
Say it and do it! Then watch God’s blessing fall on your community in ways you cannot yet imagine.
Idea Bank for “Bless You” (Blessing)
1. Get your congregation ready for words and actions. It’s always best to start with Scripture. God is very clear with what He expects of us. Perhaps your group needs to hear very clearly what God is saying in His Word. Challenge them to begin to put actions with those words. Find a coordinator – someone who is willing to focus attention on supporting the gifts and needs of those who have a disability in your community. Perhaps that coordinator will need the support of a committee. Have those people get to know the individuals and put together individual plans for each person.
2. Don’t allow persons with disabilities in your community to be content, either, with just saying the words to God. Allow each person opportunities to put actions to words. Include individuals in ways to praise God. Include all members in service projects and postures of prayer. Give opportunities to speak and act – even if the speaking and acting comes in unique packages.
3. Get the word out in your community. Is your church ready to put action behind the words “Everyone Welcome”? If so, your community is aching to hear those words. I can guarantee you that there are families at home during your worship time because a family member has not been welcome in the place they know as “church.” Get ready for God to grow your church community. There is a mission field out there ripe for God’s touch through you.
4. As you teach people the meaning of “Bless You,” you may want to teach the sign for those words. You may also want to use the example many individuals have witnessed in a church setting. As the pastor delivers God’s blessing to the people, often a pastor will raise his or her arms over the group. As you say “Bless You” to God, have people raise arms to God.
5. Appoint people within your congregation to create visuals to go along with the phrases in the Psalms where the writer blesses God. These can be used as part of a responsive reading or a “blessing” display with references.
6. Have individuals think about who God is. You may want to use picture cards to cue these thoughts, or have people write down a sentence or two on paper. “God, you are holy.” “God, you are strong.” “God, you are enormous.” Whatever people know to be true about God, have them speak it out. Give people a chance to bless God by telling Him who He is.
7. Many of the suggestions written in the section “Love You” might be helpful here as you use music and songs to say “Bless You” to God.
Make sure you reference Appendix C. It contains many activities that churches have done with Vertical Habits. The ones we have included are easy to adapt and use with an inclusive congregation. Also note that while we have focused the efforts of this book on including persons with disabilities, our congregations often include persons who may be new believers, people from a variety of backgrounds and cultures, and persons from a variety of age groups. Many congregations have found Vertical Habits to be a way to welcome each one into the conversation with God. May God show you many ways to use this concept within your congregation.
COMMENTS FROM SCHOOLS AND CHURCHES THAT LEARNED AND PRACTICED VERTICAL HABITS
From fifth graders:
…I worship the one true Father in heaven, the maker of heaven and earth, the one who made me the way that I am – not strong in math, but strong in art. He made me that way for a reason, for a plan that only He knows… I worship because it brings me closer to God, like if you hang out with a friend and get to know them more. Soon enough they could be your BFF. God can be like that too. Just talk to Him and He will be your BFF one day.
…What I learned about worship and God, is that it does not matter where I am or what I am doing. I can always worship God. I don’t only have to worship Him in church or at chapel. For example, I might be in the computer lab taking a MAP test that seems boring. If I try my best, I am doing it for God’s glory because He gave me the brain that I have.
…Whenever I think of how big God is and how much He loves us, I think of my cousin Noah stretching his arms out as far as they can go while he is saying, “so big!” God is so much bigger than that!
...For “I’m sorry,” each class received bags of sand, symbolizing sin. Students carried them as they participated in normal activities. Classes talked about how sin weighs them down and inhibits their lives. In a Friday praise time, the teacher explained how confession means laying down our sins. Then the students placed their ‘burden bags’ at the cross.
Vertical Habits gave students a worship language that spilled over into academics. During a reading lesson, one student commented, “The girl in that story is not practicing the Vertical Habit of forgiveness.”
In a Christian high school setting where the students and teachers come together each day for worship, during the year of Vertical Habits, one month was devoted to lament. “That was an incredible month of personal testimonies, of crying out to God in chapel. It really came across to students that it’s okay to wonder, to question why. God is big enough to handle our frustrations, our anger, whatever is going on in our life.”
“Psalms for Families”1 by Robert and Laura Keeley use the Psalms to encourage faith formation in children and youth. They’ve discovered that when all ages interact with the Psalms, they nurture a common language for life together with God. They’ve learned how to create access points into the Psalms for preschoolers on up. “We included psalms of lament to make sure children get to experience that we can come to God with our sorrows,” Laura Keeley says.
When children engage with the Psalms, they become aware that God hears them, and learn language they can use when they feel like singing a praise chorus or when their world has been shattered. The Psalms demonstrate how to tell God we’re sorry or ask God for help.
A young college student was given the responsibility of making sure everyone got on the bus. She assigned every choir member a phrase from Psalm 24. She’d get on the bus and say, ‘The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.’ The next student would say, ‘The world and all who live in it’ and so on. They would recite the entire Psalm each time they got on the bus. And they knew if anyone was missing, because they knew the Psalm and who said what line. Psalm 24 became an important part of that choir tour, and they ended up reciting it in their concerts.
Adults can help children see that whenever the people in Psalm 107 were hungry, thirsty or in chains, they cried out to God. God responded, and they gave thanks. Youth can color-code the Psalm’s repeated pattern of ‘trouble – God’s response – our thanks.’ They can talk about how God acts in our daily lives and how we thank Him.
Tom Long, director/writer of the Christian drama group Friends of the Groom, worked with five metro Cincinnati churches on Vertical Habits.2 He reports that congregations approached the same habits differently, depending on their theological traditions and congregational makeup.
Focusing on what we do in worship helps remove attention from preferences of style. One church reported that for two years they had been in the midst of considerable congregational discord, which contributed to a loss of many young families. There was a critical need to rebuild trust between various factions within the church, as well as a need to renew worship in a manner that reached out to children, youth, and their parents. This church reported, “Vertical Habits is bringing a fresh element to worship by focusing on the purpose behind worship, rather than engaging in a debate about the style of worship. It has helped us emphasize the elements of worship that draw us together as one body.”
The concepts of Vertical Habits may at first appear simplistic. Yet the churches who have taken time to learn and teach these concepts have found them both challenging and profound. Marc Nelesen, who pastored the congregation at Third Christian Reformed Church in Zeeland, Michigan, noted, “In a day where true, intimate communication is breaking down, even these simple, pithy words become incredibly complex and difficult. The Word that became flesh should be easier than all these other words that we have.”
Another congregation reported, “We have learned so much from our children, who have contributed drawings and devotional entries on the various Vertical Habits. I am truly amazed at the simultaneous profundity and simplicity of their understanding of these habits as they relate to God. Their very honest and very real responses to the Vertical Habits have really challenged many of us to approach God with a ‘child-like’ heart. We learned to appreciate those with disabilities because one of our concentrations was the hand signs of each of the Vertical Habits. The children especially got involved in this.”
One church created stations that allowed people to learn about and experience Vertical Habits through hands-on activities. One group expressed “I’m Sorry” by laying a road down on the floor complete with forks in the road where you had to make a decision about which way to turn. Sometimes in life we make good decisions, but we also make bad ones for which we have to repent. When we repent, God washes us clean. This group symbolized that forgiveness by putting a car wash over the road (PVC pipe with blue streamers) and had people remember that God washes them clean as they walked through the car wash. Another station had a locked treasure chest with a key that did not work. A person trying to unlock the chest needed to ask for help, something that was surprisingly challenging for many people.
A church of inner-city youth called their project the Relationship Toolbox. They found it provided the tools for young people to interact with each other and with God.
In a clinical, residential setting with young people, Vertical Habits proved to be a simple way to build relationships and give expression to emotions these young people had not been able to express.
For more information, including reports, videos, and free resources see http://worship.calvin.edu/resources/resource-library/showcase-verticalhabits-worship-and-our-faith-vocabulary/
Introduction
Salvation – is it the beginning or the end? Once we step into that new place of belonging in Christ, what is next? Most people involved in evangelism are quick to comment that evangelism and discipleship walk hand in hand. Once we are a child of God, it’s so important to put ourselves in places where God can continue the transformation in our lives.
2 Corinthians 3:18 says, “And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
While God can choose many ways and places to transform our lives, Christians usually place themselves strategically so they can hear God’s voice and grow in Him. In my own life, I find being part of a church, a Christian small group, and finding daily time to spend by myself in God’s presence are some things He has used to allow me to grow throughout my years as a follower of Jesus.
For our brothers and sisters in Christ who experience areas of disability, are those same avenues available? Can an individual with Down syndrome, for example, walk into any Christian church and find a place of welcome? Would an individual with autism spectrum disorder be able to find a small group that encouraged his participation? If talking to God and listening for His voice was not modeled or taught in large or small group settings, would it be easy for that same individual to know how to have a personal time with God each day?
While I know some persons with disabilities have found places of worship that are welcoming and meaningful, I know from many personal experiences and contacts that this is often not the case. It is my hope that God will use the practical ideas that follow to give churches and family members ideas to try when creating such environments.
Three Types Of Stories
I hear so many stories. They tend to fall into three categories:
“We are so excited!” The excited stories tend to be from communities already experiencing inclusive worship. They tell about the day Holly joined the praise team and how her ability to use signs and gestures instead of words allowed God to create a new and vibrant place for all to worship. The stories recount the day Mario was baptized and the powerful and positive impact that made on the church education program. The stories reference ministering with, worshiping with, and serving with persons with disabilities and how the church has changed as a result.
For churches with those types of stories, may God use this book to give you additional ideas.
“We really have not thought much about this in our church.” I hear this many times from pastors and church members who fall into a second group of stories. I don’t consider this a negative comment, but one that invites discovery. I often encourage these communities to remember that around 20 percent of our population experiences some kind of disability. That’s a lot of people! Translated into a church setting, about one in every five people may need something altered or modified to be more a part of the community. It might be a hymnal in Braille, a rocking chair in the worship center, a hearing loop in the sanctuary, or a gluten free bread option for communion. That’s a large number of people, so it’s important for churches to consider what might need to happen in order to better welcome each one.
For churches with those kinds of stories, may God use this material to invite you into a place where you can consider some new options within your community. I am confident your stories will soon reflect the “I’m so excited” stories.
The third group of stories can best be summed up with “We are not interested.” This set of stories, unfortunately still so prevalent, often tells of families who have knocked on many church doors only to be asked to leave. Other individuals might be sent to the church down the road as “I heard they have a program for people like you.” Some families have become so tired and weary of searching for a church that they have given up and figure there is no spot for them within that community. Some parents go to church, but are always asked to shadow their family member with a disability in worship and educational settings. I often refer to these parents as some of the most “worship deprived” individuals in a church. Sometimes after years of filling this role, the families make a choice to stay home – it’s just easier that way.
These stories are troubling, and yet when one begins to ask more questions, the reasons for these comments are often based in fear, inexperience, or a legitimate comment – “We want to include this person, but we don’t know HOW.”
For churches with those kinds of stories, may God use this material to give you the “how to” and address the fear and inexperience that often undergird these comments. Be bold, pray into this, and allow God to lead.
Accessible Conversation With God
Accessibility. I used that word to help us think about the gospel message. How do we make that more accessible to each one? Now imagine accessibility in church, a small group setting, and individual settings. While it’s easy to think about issues like bathrooms, ramps, drinking fountains, pew cut outs for wheelchair users, and elevators, walk with me more deeply into this concept.
Most of our worship settings can be described as a conversation. While some of them are corporate and others are individual, we enter into a place where we speak to God and allow God to speak to our lives. For some individuals with disabilities, the tools we use as part of that conversation might be a bit different from some of the traditional tools. For example, if we use only spoken words set to music for the part of the conversation that says “I love you, God,” then we have left someone out who has no spoken words. How can we make that part of our conversation with God inclusive of each worshipper?
While drinking fountains and bathrooms are very important, the focus of this book will be on the tools and techniques one might use in including persons with intellectual disability, autism spectrum disorder, or physical challenges that might prevent the use of more traditional tools in a worship setting. If, however, your congregation has not had the chance to look at your physical property, I recommend beginning with www.crcna.org/disability and click on the link for the accessibility audit guide .
Concept Of Vertical Habits
Tom and Sally have been thrilled since they first knew that they would have a child. They prepared a safe and comfortable place for the baby to sleep, and their friends gave gifts of clothing, warm blankets and stuffed animals. And finally baby Asher arrived. They can hardly believe that this child was entrusted to them. They have prayed that the child would be healthy, would grow, and would come to love God as they do.
Before Asher can begin to understand, Tom and Sally are practicing habits of relating. They smile at him, talk to him, sing, laugh and quickly respond to his every need. Over and over they repeat “I love you.” Their deepest desire is that a deep and loving bond will grow between Asher and them, their family, friends and God.
Their love is expressed not only in words but in actions. They eagerly watch for smiles from Asher that are a response to their love. As Asher grows they begin to teach him expressions that will help these bonds grow.
It would be three years before Tom and Sally receive the diagnosis that Asher has autism spectrum disorder. Though these years have been filled with frustration and uncertainty, they have been reminded that God loves Asher and desires to have a relationship with him. They know that God wants Asher to be deeply connected with his parents, siblings, and family and friends who love him.
As Asher grows they want to help him learn to express” Thank you” either in words or gestures. When he is older they’ll teach him the importance of “I’m Sorry” and “Please help.”
Asher, as is true for all of us, also needs to learn practices of relating to God. In many Christian churches, worship is shaped by these practices. In 2005 Dr. John Witvliet of the Calvin Institute of Christian Worship taught this concept in a workshop in Denver. Bruce Gritter and Karen Wilk, church planters in Edmonton, Alberta wondered whether this might help new believers understand why we do what we do in worship. Thinking of human relationships as horizontal and relating to God as vertical, they called it “Vertical Habits” and spent a year learning and practicing 8 habits.
After receiving their reports and resources, Calvin Institute of Christian Worship staff wondered,
Would this framework be effective in congregations filled with life-long Christians?
Might Christian schools shape faith formation using the Vertical Habits?
Would it be meaningful in churches of various ethnicities and worship practices?
Twenty-three churches and schools accepted an invitation to learn about Vertical Habits and practice them for a year. At the end of the year they shared resources and reflections.
I also had a chance to work with the Vertical Habits project. My role was to consider how this language, this new way of looking at elements of a worship service and growing as a Christian, might impact the life of a person with a disability. There was such beauty in the way large words like “adoration,” “confession,” or “prayer for illumination” could be looked at much more simply. “Love you,” “Sorry,” and “I’m listening” often make more sense not only to new Christians but also to those with more concrete vocabularies. In fact, Vertical Habits impacted my conversation with God as well.
In addition, I had learned as a special educator that repetition is really important for my students. Practicing the same concept in a variety of ways was pivotal to learning new concepts. The same would be true for growing as a Christian. In that way, the use of the word “habit” was also a delight for me. In order to think about the topic of Christian or spiritual formation, the idea of building habits of saying “I love you” to God seemed really important. This vocabulary could be practiced in corporate settings, but also at home before bedtime.
As I looked more deeply into the concept of Vertical Habits, it not only made sense in allowing a person with a disability to enter into worship and grow as a Christian, it also seemed to be a common denominator for all who are worshippers of Jesus Christ. Vertical Habits, therefore, opened the doors to inclusive worship opportunities – a place where all believers can practice these habits and words together.
Since launching this project, many churches, schools, and families have found that the Vertical Habits help both adults and children grow in their relationship with God. In fact, it’s become the structure With Ministries uses when suggesting ideas for Christian formation and including persons with disabilities in corporate worship settings. Other names have sometimes been used to describe the process such as “Created to Worship” and “Growing Towards God.” The Psalms provide a biblical guide to shape the process both in worship and in relationships. Churches, schools, and individuals that use Vertical Habits say it helps develop worship habits that deepen their relationship with God and affect every part of their lives. A school which recently spent a year with Vertical Habits reported, “We will never be the same.”
Vertical Habits At A Glance
Love
You
(Praise) I’m
Sorry
(Confession)
Why?
(Lament) I’m
Listening
(Illumination)
Help
(Petition) Thank
You
(Gratitude) What Can
I Do?
(Service) Bless
You
(Blessing)
Why Habits Are Important
We teach children to brush their teeth regularly so that as they grow it becomes a habit. We teach children to say thank you so that any time someone does something kind for them they respond with gratitude. Helping children and adults develop habits in their relationship with God will help them grow throughout their lives.
These habits can shape our response to a sunset or a siren. We can give thanks to God for the beautiful colors in the sky. We might offer a prayer of protection for the stranger whose life is changed by some trauma that requires the response of the emergency vehicle. Vertical Habits can help people of all ages and abilities develop habits that will point them to God in the circumstances of everyday life. And in so doing, faith is shaped and strengthened.
In the following pages you will find each Vertical Habit that becomes part of our worship conversation with God and therefore part of our Christian Formation. Each Vertical Habit comes with suggestions of how the habit can be taught and practiced during worship that takes place in church, school, small group, and individual times. While we will offer many practical tools on how you can include each individual, you will want to adapt the concepts for your unique context and for those you are including. Be creative. Remember to begin by getting to know the individuals you are including and find out what that person CAN do.
Appendix C is filled with additional ideas generated by the school and churches involved in this Vertical Habits project. Adapt, use, enjoy.
Love You (Praise)
Sing praises to God, sing praises; Sing praises to our King, sing praises, For God is the King of all the earth; Sing to Him a Psalm of Praise.
Psalm 47:6 -7
People experience God’s love expressed through the love of family, teachers, pastors, and friends. Children, for example, enjoy responding to love and expressing their love by drawing a picture of a flower or a rainbow. A hug expresses love without words. And often a warm smile says “I love you” more deeply than words.
Saying “I love you” to God is part of most worship experiences. Whether in a large group or as an individual moving through his or her daily routine, it’s important to give people the opportunity to express love to God. While much of this is done through spoken words or words set to music, consider additional ways to convey those words.
Learning from a story
Christmas Day at my former church congregation was one of my favorite worship services. At the end of the service, they would invite people to come forward and sing the Hallelujah Chorus. I would proudly join the alto section, ready to be thrilled by the music and the text.
Three days before Christmas I hunted down my copy of Handel’s Messiah. I was ready. Two days before Christmas I came down with the sniffles. “No big deal,” I thought. “It’s only the sniffles.” By Christmas morning, however, I had no voice. It was gone. I might have been able to sing the bass line, but the alto line was out of the question. Not only would I not be able to sing the Hallelujah Chorus, I was going to have to sit out of all the Christmas carols lined up for that morning as well. I remember thinking that I might as well stay home that Christmas Day, and that’s exactly what ended up happening.
Many years later, I look on that day as a powerful lesson from God. For a moment in time, I was given the opportunity to know what it is like to be one of my friends who is unable to use language as part of a worship service. Perhaps from a physical difference or some type of intellectual disability, some participants are unable to utter words or songs of praise to God each and every day. My lack of creativity as well as my disobedience on that Christmas Day is overwhelming to me now. Psalm 150:6 says, “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.” The Bible is clear – if you are breathing, you need to be offering praise to God. Singing is one way to do that, but some individuals need to be creative in their praise to God each and every day.
While Psalm 150 ends with the words, everything that has breath praise the Lord, the rest of the Psalm reminds me of some type of idea bank. The Psalmist suggests tambourines, cymbals (even loud ones), dancing, strings, and much more. In fact, singing isn’t even mentioned in this Psalm. What is very clear, however, is that God is worthy of praise, and there are many ways to focus your heart on Him and let Him know. As hard as it was for me to comprehend on that Christmas Day, I had many options available to me. What I lacked was a focused and grateful heart.
Praising God is not optional for Christians. Why, then, do we often offer such limited methods of doing that in our worship services? Saying “I love you” to God is on each heart, not only on the hearts of those who have a voice to speak it forth.
Similar to Psalm 150, the list that follows is an idea bank. Remember, don’t look at what an individual CAN’T do; look for what that person CAN do to praise God. As God has designed each person, it makes sense that He also designed each person to be able to praise Him and follow the expectations laid out for us in Scripture. If singing is not on the list, what options are available and how can you incorporate that into your worship service or personal times of worship? No one is off the hook. If you are breathing, you need to participate. If you are planning the worship service, you need to provide each participant with the opportunity.
Idea Bank for “Love You” (Praise):
1. Teach some basic signs and gestures to your congregation. Many children’s curricula as well as curriculum for persons with disabilities use movements with the words. Although one cannot call these movements “sign language,” which adheres to a very strict grammatical structure for those who are deaf, using some signs and gestures often enhances the meaning of the text. For example, the sign for Jesus is a tactile reminder of the nails that went into the hands of our Savior. If I had known the sign for “Hallelujah” on my voiceless Christmas morning, I could have participated in a new way, giving expression to my love for Jesus. I can say “Love you” to Jesus with sign at other times in the service as well. Perhaps the entire congregation can learn the sign for “Love you,” and use it after prayer times, praise times, or at times of commitment. The internet is rich with resources that could demonstrate signs and gestures that can be paired with words.
2. Create some banners, flags, praise rings, and other items individuals can use to praise God. Waving a wrist ribbon in place of, or in addition to, singing can be a colorful way to show praise to God. Directions for a variety of visual praise instruments can be found in a resource called The Easter Book . Written as part of the curriculum for Friendship Ministries (now With Ministries), this book contains instructions for making many items. Children’s educational supply catalogs also offer pre-made ribbons and flags in the music section.
3. If you are in a setting where you allow participants to choose songs, try putting together a song selection board. Either with pictures or words, make up a set of index-sized cards that allow a person who is not verbal to go forward and point to or pick up a song that the whole group will be singing.
4. Some individuals may be without voice and without much movement. In some cases, you may be able to drape a wheelchair with ribbons of praise and have a person push that wheelchair around the group, allowing the ribbons or flags to surround the congregation. (Make sure you first get permission from the wheelchair user to do this!) The color of the flag or ribbons may also be tied in to the song or message. If one, for example, is singing about the blood of Jesus covering our sins, as the red flag passes each person it is a reminder of the sacrifice and love of Jesus. The individual in the wheelchair, therefore, is not an added extra or exhibit, but a meaningful part of the worship experience for all involved.
5. In some cases, the time of singing and praise can be painful to certain individuals. Primarily for those with auditory sensitivity (where a sound that might be at just the right volume level to most, is painfully loud to a few individuals), churches may need to provide creative ways to mute the sounds so that the person can relax and participate. Some hardware stores sell sound blocking devices used in construction work. These can be very helpful for individuals who need to block out some of the sound during worship. At times, earmuffs or headphones can do that as well. Some individuals may prefer to engage in singing time in the cry room or other room where the volume can be turned down to a comfortable level. The person may then join others for the remainder of the worship service. (For more information on auditory differences and other sensory areas, read the book Autism and Your Church: Nurturing the Spiritual Growth of People with Autism Spectrum Disorder . In this book, I have given several additional adjustments for those who experience sensory differences).
6. Some individuals without speech also have a communication device. It might be a paper board with pictures or a computer that is operated by pushing buttons. Talk to the individual or the individual’s caregiver. It might be possible to program that device to include some things the individual might be able to contribute in a worship setting. For example, one might place 3-4 song selections on that board for the individual to choose. One might put the phrase “love you” on that board so that the individual can select that to say to God. In my experience, teens are often masters at technology. If the individual has other people program the device, teach a couple of teens to operate it so that the individual can respond based on what material or questions are being asked.
7. Ultimately, each one of us needs a chance to make a commitment to accept Jesus as Savior for the first time. Many church settings offer a chance for participants to do just that. If one only allows for a verbal option, some would be unable to participate. Consider having some paper hearts available that can be tailored with the individual’s name. Instead of telling Jesus “love you,” one could place a heart with the individual’s name by a cross or other designated area. Another option would be to teach the signs for “love you” and allow people to speak or sign that as a commitment to Jesus. Think broadly when you give an invitation to accept Christ. Are you being inclusive of all those represented?
8. “Everyone please stand to sing” is a common phrase we use in our worship settings. If someone is unable to stand, it would make more sense to say, “Please stand in body or in spirit.” That way all can participate.
9. This idea bank is only a way to get your own creative juices flowing. Put yourself in the shoes of the individual in your congregation with a disability. If the person is not able to speak, then you try not speaking for a service. What options do you see as one who cannot speak? If the person is unable to use their arms and legs, then you try it for a service. What options do you see? Create those options in large and small group settings and be open to having God use the actions of that individual to touch your congregation in ways you never thought were possible.
I’m Sorry (Confession)
Generous in love – God give grace! Huge in mercy – wipe out my bad record.
Scrub away my guilt, soak out my sins in your laundry.
I know how bad I’ve been; my sins are staring me down.
You’re the one I’ve violated, and you’ve seen it all, seen the full extent of my evil.
You have all the facts before you; whatever you decide about me is fair. Psalm 51:1-4 (The Message)
For both adults and children, confession is difficult. Why do you think this is true? It is hard to acknowledge we have done wrong, that we have hurt someone, that we have responded or acted in anger. But for a healthy relationship with God and with the people in our lives, honest confession is essential. Openly recognizing what we have done and expressing our regret allows us to move forward in healing a relationship. Adults can model confession in their speech with each other, with their children, and in talking with God.
The Bible is filled with assurances that God desires our confessions and promises forgiveness. Adults can demonstrate forgiveness when a child confesses he has done wrong, even though there may be consequences for the action. Expressing love even when someone has disappointed or hurt us demonstrates God’s grace toward all of us.
During worship, churches have a variety of ways to help worshipers confess their sins to God. In some churches this is a regular part of every worship service, along with an assurance of God’s forgiveness. In other churches confession is mentioned only rarely, often because they assume that people are uncomfortable talking about sin. Christians who regularly confess their sins to God and to one another express that the freedom that comes with confession leads to renewed love and praise. Each individual, then, needs a chance to say “I’m sorry” in an inclusive worship setting.
Learning from a story
This vertical habit gives us a chance to examine our own lives and congregations through the eyes of a family with a child with autism spectrum disorder. The parents were delighted in the child’s progress. The young boy had made great gains in Kindergarten. He was cherished by his peers who cheered him on for each new word he could use. As the parent-teacher conference was coming to a close, I asked, “Does Henry enjoy Church school?” They looked at each other and then started to reveal a three-year nightmare. Like all of the other children who turn 3, Henry’s parents took him to Church school. After the hour was over, a very tired teacher took Henry back to his parents and said, “Please don’t ever bring Henry back to Church school.” Unprepared for a child with autism spectrum disorder, the teacher felt she had no other response. Taking this to heart, the parents took turns staying home with Henry. By the time I asked them this question at conferences, it had been three years since they had worshiped together as a family. A call to the pastor, a few strategies for the Church school staff, and now the family is firmly embedded in their congregation.
How many individuals with disabilities have a similar story? I have heard hundreds. A place that should represent inclusion and healing is often the source of pain and rejection. Our churches often have willing hearts, but they don’t always feel as though they have the expertise. God’s expectation, however, is very clear. 1 Corinthians 12:21 says, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’” Have we done this in our church community? Have we sent some away? Have we been inclusive or exclusive?
It appears to me that this vertical habit of confession, saying “I’m sorry” to God, may need to begin with our response to God’s command to live as an inclusive body of Christ. Are you a church community that reflects the amazing diversity that God wove into His body, or are you a community that has been unwilling to make accommodations for those who need them? Have you sent children and youth away from your Church school and youth group? Have you placed barriers for adults who wish to attend your worship service? Perhaps the best place to begin a new path is on our knees – saying “I’m sorry” to God for our disobedience in this area. Make a new commitment to echo God’s heart: Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 1 Corinthians 12:27
Prayer of Confession: Lord, I am sorry. For lack of trusting you for the answers, I have been disobedient to your command to cherish each person in the body of Christ. For the hurt and damage I have done to another member of my family and your body, I am sorry. Teach me your new way. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Idea Bank for “I’m Sorry” (Confession)
1. Ultimately, in addition to telling God, “Love you,” we must also tell God, “I’m sorry.” Once again, some individuals with disabilities will need this concept made more concrete. One way to do that is to select some type of coat or shirt. Put sticky-sided Velcro on the clothing item. Cut out a variety of “puddles” from gray cloth. Put the soft-sided Velcro on the back of those pieces and adhere them to the clothing. Talk about our sin – the things that make God sad – as having dirty mud stuck to us. When we tell Jesus “I’m sorry” for the things that make God sad, and when we say “Love you” to Jesus, He takes those muddy things off from us. Only people with clean clothes can be with God. Allow people to tell God “I’m sorry” and “Love you.” Remove the mud.
2. A way to allow people to say “I’m sorry” without words can come in a chain and scarf exchange. By using a length of chain or mud-colored scarf, drape that around the neck of the individuals involved. Allow that person to come to an area with a cross or another designated spot to tell God “I’m sorry” by letting Him remove the chain. By telling God, “Love you,” you receive a clean scarf in its place. You are now part of His family!
3. Once we have said, “I’m sorry” for the first time, there is still the need to recognize we live in a fallen world. One important thing to remember is that just as we need to be understanding with the actions of others, it’s NOT OK to allow an individual with a disability to continue in sin, excusing it as “they can’t help it.” We may need to be understanding, loving, patient, and more, but just as you would confront another member of God’s family, it’s OK to expect godly living from an individual with a disability. I often do a workshop called “Heads – Promoting Acceptance, Tails – Encouraging Change.” Not only do we need to promote acceptance of an individual on the part of others, we also need to encourage change and growth in the life of that individual. One child with Down syndrome was behaving very badly in Church school – showing a lot of disrespect to the teacher and other children. The leader had decided that it was OK because you couldn’t expect more out of the child. I suggested that it’s not OK to allow that child to go on “sinning.” By putting some other parameters and supports in place, that child could grow and be more accepted by peers as well as exhibit godlier behavior in response to authority.
4. Perhaps because of our fallen nature, one of the very first phrases we teach our young children is “I’m sorry.” We expect them to say that when they have wronged another individual. Presenting the concept of “sorry” to a person with a disability may need to begin with real-life practice. Do some role-playing with situations appropriate to individuals that age. Then apply that to our relationship with God. Just as we say “I’m sorry” to our friend after we hurt him, we can tell God “I’m sorry” too. It made his friend feel happy; it makes God happy too.
5. Teach the sign for “I’m sorry” to your congregation. As a routine in your worship service, allow people to sign and say “I’m sorry” during times of confession.
6. Let people express “I’m sorry” by bowing or kneeling. If appropriate, let them know that God put His words of “I forgive you” in the pastor’s hand or the leader’s hand for right now. When they feel you touch the shoulders or head, it’s like God saying, “I forgive you.”
7. Allow opportunity for your whole congregation to say “I’m sorry” to God for not supporting an inclusive environment for those with unique gifts and needs. Preach a sermon, ask for testimonies, invite a special speaker, inform the congregation of God’s expectation. Let the community say “I’m Sorry” and then allow God’s Spirit to move in your community as you follow His commands.
Additional ideas for community awareness can be found through www.withministries.org, Worship As One: Varied Abilities in the Body of Christ by Barbara J. Newman , and www.faithward.org/everybody-belongs-serving-together. Body Building: Devotions to Celebrate Inclusive Community by Barbara J. Newman would also help children and adults in your community be more understanding and welcoming.
Why? (Lament)
How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.
Psalm 13:1-2, 5-6
Sometimes children ask “Why?” so often that we grow weary of answering. Sometimes we can’t answer because we don’t know why. Our lives are filled with experiences we don’t understand – a broken marriage, a crushing diagnosis, a miscarriage, death of a loved one, or life-changing damage to a previously healthy body. Why, Lord? We pray and pray without seeing any healing.
Sometimes in our relationship with God and in our churches we are afraid to ask God these hard questions. Expressing our anger with God because of what has brought us this pain seems inappropriate, even sinful.
But the Bible is filled with people who brought their pain and anger to God. We can be assured that God wants us to express our deepest emotions to Him. We can model this with others by allowing them to express their frustrations and anger to us.
Throughout the Psalms we find examples of people asking God hard questions. But every time they finally recognize God’s love for them, even when circumstances don’t change. Throughout the Bible we discover that the acknowledgement of pain leads to rebirth and new life.
Church leaders who include opportunities for lament in worship help the congregation acknowledge that they can bring their pain to God. This is counter-cultural in our American lifestyle where we try to pretend that our lives are happy and fulfilling. But there is much in our personal lives and in this broken world that brings us pain. We must be given permission and expression to ask God “Why, Lord?”
Learning from a story
He truly is a miracle. He wasn’t expected to live past the first few days of his life. Jordan was born with bones the consistency of sawdust and a condition known as Osteogenesis Imperfecta (Brittle Bone Disease). Changing a diaper would break his bones, and he was carried around on a pillow to prevent injury. God’s plan for Jordan’s life was different than the plan of the doctor. He not only lived to see his first birthday, but he is fully alive today and very much a high school graduate. He still has brittle bones, lots of risks and injuries, but those who know Jordan realize he is a vibrant part of God’s body.
As we talk to friends and family who know Jordan, it’s clear that Jordan is a miracle. You don’t only read the Bible to understand miracles, you can know Jordan’s story and realize that God is active today in doing miracles. This is the truth.
It is also the truth that Jordan’s siblings had a very unfortunate event one summer. After many issues with his health, they were able to go to the theme park Cedar Point, where Jordan’s disability allowed them a fast trip to the front of the lines. Unfortunately, at the start of the day, Jordan’s wheelchair tipped over, and he had another broken bone or two. The siblings knew that it was the right thing to do to leave with Jordan and head for the hospital. The siblings know that Jordan is loved by God and is a miracle. They also know how to ask that important question of God, “Why?” Why did Jordan have to break a bone today? Why do we have to say good-bye to mom so many days as she heads out with Jordan for treatments? Why do our needs go on hold so much of the time just to keep Jordan alive? Why does he have to hurt so much? Why don’t the treatments make him all the way better? Why? How long? Although the brain knows the ultimate truth of God, the heart is quickly drawn into the everyday experience – and we ask “Why?”
One of the blessings of the inclusive school setting where I teach is that we have many siblings of individuals who have disabilities. Sometimes they lament together. Sometimes the siblings compare notes of trips that were cancelled, restaurants they had to leave, stares of passing people, conditions of brothers and sisters. It’s OK to lament. It’s OK to ask “Why?”
It’s also important to have people there to finish the Psalm of Lament. It’s important to experience the community of Christ with people who can state the truth. Psalm 13 ends with:
But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the Lord’s praise, for He has been good to me.
When all the questions have been asked, it’s important to return to the truth of what we know.
With Jordan and his family, we echo the questions of “Why?’ and “How long?” We know that Brittle Bone Disease stinks, and we also question why the family’s trip had to end that way one summer. We also join hands with you, praising God for His miracle in Jordan, and we give our strong testimony, “But I trust in your unfailing love.”
Idea Bank for “Why?” (Lament)
1. Done with the permission of the individual or individual’s family, sometimes it’s helpful to hear a person’s story. Hopefully hearing Jordan’s story allows the issue of lament to become more understandable. Hopefully hearing Jordan’s story also encourages us to speak God’s truth about who Jordan is and where our hope lies. Many individuals with disabilities have a powerful testimony. Sometimes it’s a miracle. Sometimes it’s the opportunity to hear about a person who asked “Why?” many days and can now give powerful testimony to God’s work in her life. Using a newsletter, bulletin insert, or testimony time, telling an individual’s story can be a powerful way to better understand the whole concept of lament.
2. Many Psalms are considered a lament. Sometimes one can pick out a phrase that is repeated or inserted into a Psalm. Teach the signs and short phrase. As you read the Psalm, have the congregation speak or sign the repetitive phrase throughout the reading.
3. Teach the sign for “Why?” Let the congregation use that sign during this portion of the service.
4. Have a picture of an eye, an ear, and a brain. Let people talk about what they see and hear. Perhaps after a natural disaster or a congregational event of sadness, talk about the experience of what you see and hear. Then talk about what you know to be true about God. Talk about His love, His plan, His hope. Put that under the brain picture. It’s OK to talk about what we see and hear, but it’s also important to talk about what we know.
5. Put a small dumbbell in each hand. In one hand talk about the experience of what happened (the sadness, the event). Raise that dumbbell. Then raise the other one and talk about who God is – what you know to be true. Do these exercises, realizing that you need to change the weight of what you know to a bigger size. Despite what we experience, what we know about God is stronger and bigger.
6. Have people create a visual image or collage of current events that make us wonder about “Why?” this happened. When the collage is complete, place the phrase “I put my hope in God” or other similar Scripture that allows us to see that God’s hope and His truth cover the events.
7. Although a visual collage is helpful, you might be able to use an individual for this activity. As a person shares their situation and people respond with a time of joining in asking “Why?”, have congregation members write God’s truth on sticky-notes and place it on and around that individual or family.
8. Many times people with disabilities have hurts and questions that run very deep. After leading people through freedom appointments as outlined by Neil Anderson in The Bondage Breaker: Overcoming Negative Thoughts, Irrational Feelings, Habitual Sins , it’s clear to me that we can get stuck in the questions and never move on to the statements of truth and hope. As you allow people to share their hurts, fears, and disappointments, be prepared to listen and speak God’s truth over them. It’s in that reality that we as Christians get to live. It’s in that place that we can experience God’s peace even in difficult times. Give that gift to those in our community who struggle with issues of body and mind. It will be healing ointment for the soul!
I’m Listening (Illumination)
How can those who are young keep their way pure?
By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart;
Do not let me stray from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.
I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.
Psalm 119:9-11, 15-16
When we are talking with children we might ask, “Are you listening to me?” We are aware that when minds wander, instructions may not be heard with any accuracy. Sometimes in talking with other adults, we might be tempted to ask, “Are you listening?” Only with listening can there be a healthy relationship. Finding ways to capture your child’s attention is probably something that has already been part of your role as a parent.
God tells us that it is important that we listen to Him. His word gives instruction for our relationship with Him and with others. In Psalm 119 we are reminded of the importance of having Scripture in our hearts that will shape all our decisions and actions.
In some churches there is prayer before Scripture asking God to open our hearts and minds to what God is saying to us. It turns out that children are not the only ones who have wandering minds. Adults, too, must be reminded of the importance of listening to God and to each other.
We live in a noisy, busy world filled with demands, expectations and activities. How might we experiment with ways to make space to focus on God? Some families have a time or place where technology is not permitted. Instead, they spend time talking with each other. Helping people practice time alone or with a good book is a gift to them in this world filled with distractions.
Learning from a story
As we look at this phrase “I’m listening,” it appears that the opportunity for each person to truly listen to God can often depend on the mode of presentation. Although God can speak directly to the heart of an individual, I believe He expects us to be faithful in presenting His Word in ways that will connect with the listeners. For the pastor led to preach on a particular topic or a youth leader presenting God’s Word, we need to put it in language that will be understood by those ready to listen – those who come hungry to hear and say to God, “I’m listening.”
The pastor in this church made the invitation each week to come forward for prayer. A congregation member with autism spectrum disorder was listening to God’s call. She was living in a place of unforgiveness towards Sue who worked in her group home several years ago. The problem, however, was that this was the 36th week that Lynnae had come forward for prayer. The pastor wondered how to handle this. I asked how he was praying with her. Lynnae told about the things Sue had done and then he asked permission to put his hand on her shoulder and they prayed together. At the end of the prayer Lynnae hugged the pastor and gave a big smile. The next week, however, Lynnae was back up front asking to forgive the same individual.
The pastor needed to know some more information about Lynnae. He needed to better work through getting to know the individual. Lynnae learns very little by ear, but she learns a lot through her eyes. I suggested the next time they write Sue’s name on a sticky-note, carry it over to the cross in front of the church, and pray about forgiveness as taking that person and putting her with Jesus to take care of the problem. Lynnae didn’t need to think about Sue anymore because Jesus would take care of the problem. I also suggested they leave the sticky-note there for the next week because coming forward for prayer was a habit. But when the pastor saw Lynnae, he could ask where they put Sue and see that she was forgiven and still with Jesus.
The next week Lynnae came forward and the pastor pointed out the sticky-note. She smiled and walked away. That was the last time she came forward for prayer about Sue. While they had talked about forgiveness 36 weeks in a row, Lynnae needed to understand it in a visual way. She was listening to God’s call to come forward for prayer, but the pastor needed some different presentation tools.
Idea Bank for “I’m Listening” (Illumination)
1. Although each person with a disability is a unique individual, you will have a much greater impact if you involve more of the senses of those listening. That’s actually true for each of us. For example, you could talk about the sword of the Spirit, but actually swinging a sword around as you talk will increase the likelihood that people will connect with your words. By asking people to swing their arms as if holding a sword as you have them speak some phrases along with you will increase the possibility of hearing the information even more. If you are talking about being a prophet, priest, and king, consider having three hats with those words written on them. As you talk about each role or “hat” we wear as Christians, wear the accompanying hat. Providing hat patterns for people to make their own to wear as they review the points at home will really allow the concept to sink in more deeply. How can you add a prop, a set, an action, a drama, or a take-home piece that will reinforce the words you are speaking? Can’t think of one? Share your lesson or message with someone who is a visual person in your group or congregation. Find a person who “thinks in pictures” and let them provide you with some ideas.
2. Think of the example provided in Scripture. When God said “Do this in remembrance of me,” how did He set it up? God wanted us to remember what Jesus has done for us, and He made it totally possible for every type of learner to connect. The Lord’s Supper is something that pulls in several sensory systems. We hear the words in Scripture, taste the wine and bread, smell the fragrance of the elements, touch them as we receive the elements, taste them, and often involve movement as we go forward or pass the elements to the next person. If we let Communion serve as our example, we will be all set! Think multi-sensory!
3. Boil down your lesson or message to one main point. What is the one big idea you want people to understand? As you pull in other points and sub-topics, remember to highlight your one big idea throughout the lesson. Perhaps you will have people repeat it with you. You might always display the “big idea” in PowerPoint or on a poster. You could save the posters to display to help people trigger the memory of your previous messages.
4. Some individuals might benefit from sitting with a mentor or interpreter.
This person could quickly translate confusing phrases or answer questions as they arise. This person would be responsible for trying to have the individual connect with the message. It could be as simple as whispering “Jesus loves you, Matt” into the ear of the friend. The person might restate or clarify, “Pastor is talking about a flood, lots of water. Can you draw lots of water on this picture?” As the message continues, they would add elements to their picture story to reflect that Noah would be safe, just like Matt is safe with God. Training four people to be a mentor for one individual would allow each person to fit into that role one time per month. Those four people would get to know Matt and how he best learns and grows.
5. Add pictures. By using PowerPoint or other pictures, you will have a reference point for those who comprehend words more slowly or differently. Church school or small group leaders should have a bank of visuals to draw from each week. If you can’t find the pictures you want, use a digital camera to take some. Have friends dress up like characters or express a certain emotion on their faces.
6. Develop bulletins that can stand alongside the message. Have a person in your congregation who is savvy with a computer have the pastor’s message a day or two in advance. Come up with activities that will go along with the message. If there is a verse you are highlighting, then do some type of fill in the blank activity with that verse. If you are talking about Mary and Joseph, have people draw in those characters beside the manger. What parts of the message could you turn into an activity sheet?
7. There may be times when a topic is very difficult for an individual with an intellectual disability. It’s at those times when an alternate curriculum might be best. Including the individual in a portion of the worship service or age-appropriate class is excellent. The other portion, however, might be better spent with a mentor who can communicate in a more effective way. Remember, only do this for a PORTION of the time. By always moving an individual, the body of Christ is missing an important part. Preserve the body, and then provide portions of time for pullout instruction. With Ministries has excellent materials one can use in these types of settings. The Together Bible study offers a high quality curriculum designed to be accessible for people of all abilities, especially persons with intellectual disabilities . Standard Publishing3 has made all of their Church school and Vacation Bible School materials inclusive so that there are tips for connecting with children with and without areas of disability located in the materials prepared for the general group.
8. There are those individuals with disabilities for whom it appears there is very little understanding and connection with others. How does one allow this individual to listen? I believe that God wires each one of us to connect to Him in some way. Whether that method is by ear, eye, or touch, the wiring is there. As you include this person in your congregation, pray over that individual that God would speak directly to his or her heart and mind. Ask for God’s Spirit to make a connection that humans appear to be unable to make. Praise God for His ability and knowledge to complete the wiring job.
9. Teach your congregation the sign for “I’m listening.” Have them sign that throughout your message, as you get ready to repeat the “big idea” or another important concept.
10. You can make a telephone out of PVC pipe. Not only does it look like a telephone from a few years ago, it provides great feedback to the ear when you speak or whisper into it. Connect two corner pieces with a straight piece. Use the PVC pipe phones before your message. Let people know there is a phone call from God. Have individuals say into that phone “I’m listening.”
11. Know the individual. Get to know the gifts and needs of each person.
An individual with a hearing loss may need an interpreter or a special sound system set up in the sanctuary. A person with low vision may benefit from larger print or books in Braille. PowerPoint without some type of verbal presentation won’t connect with a person who is unable to see it. Do you need a ramp or special seating for a person with a physical difference? Get to know your people. Once you have done that, it might be helpful to establish a connection (done with confidentiality issues in mind) with others who know this person well. Find out what others have used to effectively interact with this person. Try a few new things. Be creative.
Help (Petition)
Hear me, Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.
Guard my life, for I am faithful to you, save your servant who trusts in you. You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all day long. Bring joy to your servant, Lord, for I put my trust in you.
Psalm 86:1-4
Children run to their parents or other people they trust when they are afraid. Often there are no words to express fear, but it is quickly evident that the child is terrified. Sometimes the danger is real, sometimes it is perceived. Regardless of the cause, the child seeks protection and assurance.
Adults, too, experience fear. God tells us that we can come to Him for help. Perhaps we bring a desperate plea because of a life-altering experience. Perhaps we ask for help in making decisions or in relationships.
A congregation comes together in worship to ask for God’s help. It may be for our own personal needs, for the needs of others, or for the needs of the world.
As parents we know the importance of our children trusting us enough that they can come to us when they are afraid. God invites His children of all ages and abilities to bring their fears and uncertainties to Him.
Why is it often hard to ask for help? Our culture teaches us that we should be self-sufficient. There is a perception that asking for help is a sign of weakness. In healthy human relationships and in our relationship with God, it is essential that we humble ourselves and acknowledge that we need others.
Learning from a story #1
It was obvious the man needed help. He had probably used that word many times each day of his life. This man was unable to walk. Daily care required others. He needed help moving, getting food, getting dressed, and making a living. His friends had heard about Jesus and wanted to take him to a place where they could witness a miracle. They knew that Jesus could make their friend walk. Carrying him on a mat, they found an obstacle. The crowd was too thick. The hope of getting this man to Jesus seemed slim in the large this idea, but they removed part of the roof and lowered the man in front of Jesus. Jesus healed the heart and body of this man because of the faith of his friends. What an amazing truth – the faith of a community of believers moved the healing hand of God. Not only do I see this as an example of the importance of holding up our friends with disabilities before God, I also see a group of people committed to modifications and accommodations. Use whatever word makes the most sense to you, but getting this man before Jesus required creative thinking and an alternate route.
Help. Sometimes we don’t like to ask for that. It’s much easier to be the helper than the helpee. Some of our friends with disabilities, however, are well acquainted with that word. While it might take me 30 minutes to get from my bed to the car, ready to face the workday, an individual who uses a wheelchair may find the morning routine taking much longer. While I can reach the top shelf at the local food store, an individual with a physical challenge may be unable to do that. “Help.”
How easy it is for many of us to avoid that word “Help.” After all, if I just work harder and longer, I can do it myself. That, however, is not the way God desires for us to live. Not only do we show pride by not acknowledging our daily need of God’s help, He gives us a community where we are expected to ask for help. He expects us to support one another so that our areas of giftedness will complement another’s area of need. Our needs, then, require the giftedness of others.
Learning from a story #2
It was such a difficult day. The drama team I directed was performing that morning, and I was exhausted. Life at school and home was more hectic than I could handle. Instead of asking for help, I just tried to up my performance and tried to put on a happy face in front of people.
I arrived at the church that morning and tried to use one of my smiles to cover up a sea of exhaustion. It was working. No one seemed to notice. Then Jonathan sat down beside me. I had been Jonathan’s teacher when he was young, and now he played the role of Jesus in the play. Jonathan and I had known one another for 25 years. I, however, was typically in the teacher or leader role.
He reached his hand out for mine and said in halted and broken sentences (Jonathan has Down syndrome), “Mrs. B, you look sad today. I will pray for you.” He did. Cover blown. And God used his words and presence in my life to heal my hectic and broken insides on that day.
On that day, Jonathan dug through the outer covering I had placed over myself in order to set me in front of God. He was the friend; I was the one on the mat desperately in need of the presence of Jesus Christ.
Don’t ever assume you know which one is on the mat. As a church, we need to surround one another. What will it take to get each one of us before Jesus? What will it take to reach each individual? For some, it requires brainstorming and creative friends as are mentioned in the Bible. What changes need to be made in order for an individual to understand and enjoy a worship service? What additions or deletions need to be in place for someone to access the fellowship provided in a small group? Whether voiced or unvoiced, we need to ask for help from one another so that each one can stand face to face with God and make that same request to Him, “Help.” Make a clear path for that conversation to happen.
Idea Bank for “Help” (Petition)
*This will also include some educational changes you can make to help support the needs of some individuals in classroom settings.
1. As you use the word “Help” in your worship service, teach the sign language for this word.
2. Getting help from someone is certainly well within the understanding of individuals with disabilities. When you transfer that to asking God for help, it might make more sense to some individuals to have a picture of Jesus, an empty chair, or a specific place where people can bring requests for help. By writing out requests for help and placing them on that chair or by that picture, it allows you to also track God’s answers. If someone is asking for help during a surgery, then it’s powerful to go back to that written request for help and comment on God’s answer. This is a great time to bring in the response of “thank you.”
3. Although it’s important to be ready to offer help to an individual, some people with unique gifts and needs have stories and issues that can seem overwhelming to us. Many times an individual will come to a person with a problem or situation and expect that individual to give an answer. It’s important, however, to model for that person that you do not hold those hard answers – but you know who does. No matter what the situation, you know where to go with that hurt or feeling. You know that all of those issues are safe in God’s hands. Teach individuals to go to God. It’s great to talk to a friend, but God is the one who answers prayers. He is the hero – you are not. He is the source of all strength – you are not. Reroute the word “help” to the proper place – God.
4. In some small group settings, it’s helpful to have pictures available during prayer time. A person with limited speaking ability may be able to point to a picture and ask for help using picture communication.
5. For some people, it’s hard to access words when one is frustrated or anxious. Although a child or adult may use words to ask for help, some people won’t be able to ask verbally. It’s important, therefore, to be mindful of having some type of non-verbal arrangement available for a child or adult who may need to leave a particular setting. For example, some leaders have a “break ticket” hanging on a wall. Instead of asking to be excused, an individual is welcome to grab that ticket and leave. It allows people with limited language (for either permanent or temporary reasons) a chance to make a request without using words. It’s also a great system if the leader notices an individual is becoming stressed or anxious. The leader can take the ticket and hand it to the individual, suggesting that a break might be helpful.
6. There are certain individuals you know will need support and help to make church a happy and successful place. There are some other individuals who may benefit from some modifications, but they stem from learning needs, not physical needs. For example, a Church school class may have a child who receives support in school for reading and writing. When it’s time to read aloud, that child may wish to crawl under the table. It’s for these individuals for whom some simple changes may help increase happiness at church. Some individuals need accommodations in the area of reading. Here are some things you might be able to try:
Find the book or passage on a recording. The Bible in most versions is available for free on a Bible app called You Version . Once downloaded on your device, it has a feature that will read the passage out loud.
Do partner reading where the individual is paired with a friend who can read the passage out loud.
Some individuals may need larger print.
Others may be able to participate by highlighting key words with a highlighter or highlighter tape.
Sometimes copying the book passage, enlarging the print, and using a different color background paper (like blue or green) can help an individual read the words more easily.
Some may be able to read pictures, and a friend could translate some of the passage by putting a small picture or icon by some of the words.
Sometimes it helps to practice in advance. If, for example, a class generally takes turns reading aloud, an individual might be assigned a section the week before so that he or she can practice that portion.
Find the same information at an easier reading level. If the story is from Genesis, one might be able to find a picture book or Bible storybook that shows pictures in addition to a more simplified text.
7. Writing is a complex task – even more difficult than reading. Some individuals need accommodations in the area of writing. Here are some things you might be able to try:
Use a partner. The pair must talk about what is written before it’s put on paper, but only one person does the writing. Have two people, but only one final paper product.
Have an individual copy key words into blanks instead of trying to originate a whole sentence or paragraph. (Sometimes it’s easier to copy from a paper beside the person than from a board or overhead.)
Lessen the amount of writing expected. Instead of a whole page, ask for a few key words.
Use technology. Have the individual put thoughts on a recording rather than on paper.
Supply a few options. Instead of writing, perhaps a picture or outline or collage might be appropriate.
Sometimes it’s best to use a scribe. Have a leader or partner write for the individual.
Things like keyboards, larger sized pencils, and adapted crayons or markers can be very helpful. If appropriate, ask caregivers what tools would be the most helpful in the area of writing.
8. Many individuals need accommodations in fine motor activities and crafts. Here are some things you might be able to try:
Sometimes having a variety of sizes for scissors, markers, crayons,
and other tools can be very helpful. Check teacher stores and catalogs for ideas.
Simple changes to a project can allow some people to participate.
For example, instead of drawing animals on the paper, have the person put animal stickers on the paper. Instead of cutting out the objects and then gluing them down, have those objects pre-cut for the individual to glue.
If it’s a project with multiple steps, sometimes it helps to explain the project and then sit beside the individual and do one yourself for the individual to follow.
Try to think through the steps of the project. What portions could the individual accomplish? You do the other parts.
Start thinking about the individuals in your class at least a day ahead. This will allow you to get ready and have the needed supplies available.
9. Have a team of friends do the thinking. It’s helpful to have at least one other person to put together modifications. Just like the man in our Bible passage had faithful friends, sometimes it takes one person to move the tiles while another gets rope to lower the mat. Whatever the arrangements, multiple minds are almost always better than one.
10. Include input from the individual with the disability. Sometimes it’s easy to ask for input from everyone else, but remember to talk to your friend about necessary accommodations. Is that chair comfortable? Which marker would you rather use? Would you like me to read this to you, or would you like a recording of the Bible passage? Include the preferences of the individual involved.
11. Be sensitive to those with milder needs. There are times when certain individuals prefer to have no accommodations, even when you know it might help that person. Some children, for example, would prefer to not be singled out when everyone else is using the same type of pencil. In this case, it might take some time to build trust with that person.
12. The Bible story about faithful friends is an excellent one to share in a Church school class or other child’s group. Not only can you encourage the group to pray for a classmate and friend, it can also allow you to brainstorm with the group. How can we make it easier for Justin to be part of this class? What could we do during Bible story so he can answer a question? Children can be highly creative, and involving them in the discussion can also encourage them to be more involved with the friend.
13. As you involve peers, it’s important to remember the difference between a “friend” and a “mother.” In fact, you might want to spend some time role-playing the difference. I generally tell classes that Jason already has a mom. What Jason needs is a friend. Then I enjoy showing the difference between those two types of interactions.
14. As children and adults interact, be willing to give specific feedback.
Instead of saying “I’m glad you are nice to Justin,” try saying “I like the way you let Justin try his glue lid first, and then you asked if he wanted help. It’s great to let him try it on his own, but you were right there to help out before he got frustrated.” Not only are you giving a pat on the back, you are helping to shape future interactions. Whereas schools are building relationships that will last a few years, churches are building relationships that may last a lifetime. Justin and his friend may grow old together in this church community. You may be shaping this friendship for years to come.
15. Don’t recreate the wheel when it comes to finding helpful modifications and accommodations. If allowed by parents, guardians, or the individual, check with the current school or placement to find out what has been successful with an individual. Parents are a great source of information – ask them. In adult care homes, workers may be more than willing to share ideas with you. Don’t be shy about asking.
Make sure to reference Appendix B. The Substitution Guide lists common activities we do in church settings with alternative options for that activity. Feel free to make copies from the website listed so that each church volunteer can reference this guide.
Thank You (Gratitude)
Praise our God, all people, let the sound of His praise be heard; He has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you, God, tested us; you refined us like silver.
You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs.
You let people ride over our heads; we went through fire and water,
But you brought us to a place of abundance. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld His love from me.
Psalm 66:8-12, 20
Learning to express thanks is one of the first emotions of relationship that many children learn. When someone gives something to them, does something for them, when love is expressed in any way, parents teach their children to respond with gratitude. It may be with words, a sparkle in the eye, a smile, some recognition that someone cares enough about them to express love.
In worship we have opportunity to express our thanks to God. Perhaps we name the reasons for our gratitude. Often it is easy to thank God for material blessings but practicing the habit of naming and giving thanks for spiritual blessings can help deepen our gratitude to God. It also protects us from disappointment or discouragement when we pass through times when it seems our material blessings are limited. The focus on spiritual blessings can change our perspective from a sense of scarcity to abundance. Thanking God for all He has given us rather than grieving what we do not have leads to joy and contentment. Helping people identify God’s many gifts – His faithfulness, patience, forgiveness – can help them express thanks, especially in difficult times.
Learning from a prayer
Please join me in this prayer of Thanksgiving for certain individuals through whom God has touched my life in profound ways. As I mention these
individuals, perhaps you could begin your own prayer for similar people in your life.
Thank you, God, for Lana. She was an example to me of how you long to spend time with us. Lana would take any snippets of time I would give her. She loved to just hang out with me. Whether we had anything to say or not, she would just be with me. I know you love me that way too, God. I remember clearly the day that the newspaper reporter took several pictures of us together. She kept that article and memory with her all the time. Sometimes I think you hold me close to your heart like that too. I also know the day she got so jealous of my sharing attention with others, and she threw her shoe at me across the classroom. Thank you that I ducked in time. I’m sure you must get jealous too, God. I deserve to have a whole closet full of shoes whipped in my direction! Thank you for Lana and her love. Thank you for your love and grace. Thank you, too, that she is now with you – no longer hindered by lack of oxygen. Her face would turn purple, and now I think her face must glow from being in your presence. Thank you for Lana, the first friend of mine who happened to have Down syndrome.
Thank you, God, for John and Andrea. They both loved music so very much. They both had a zest and love for life. I enjoyed them as students and children of yours. For both of those children, they were with me one day and with you the next. You made me grow, God. You made me think about the importance of how I treated each child every day. You gave me a passion for making sure each one knew about you and made a commitment to you. I rejoice that now both children are released to praise you fully. Andrea’s tongue, slowed by Down syndrome, and John’s body, so easily thrown into seizures, are now completely unhindered as they praise you. I look forward to meeting them again, not as students, but totally as my sister and brother in Christ.
Thank you for Jessica. You taught me that spiritual warfare is real. You allowed me to witness the transformation that takes place when we accept Christ as Savior. I know that I had seen it before, but Jessica having autism spectrum disorder allowed me to see it with the social veil removed. I saw the instant transformation in her speech and countenance. I saw you enter her life, and she put up no barriers to block your entrance. I got to see the transformation from death to life in the face of a young girl. I hear your words through her. She has a profound relationship with you. “My body may have autism, but my spirit does not.” Autism does not take away from her life with you. In fact, Jessica and you have something very special together. You and I have something very special together, too. Thanks for loving each one of us, searching us out, fighting for us, and being in relationship with us – a relationship that is unique to each one.
Thank you for Stu. When I asked for first grade volunteers to help support a child with Cerebral Palsy, he jumped in with all he had. He was so sad the day he got sick and had to stay home because he could not be with his friend. Stu, and so many others like him at my school, is a gift from you.
When I watch him delight in his buddy, it reminds me of the way you want me to delight in the people who surround my life.
Thank you for Lana, John, Andrea, Jessica, Stu, and so many more. You have enriched my life through them.
In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Idea Bank for “Thank You” (Gratitude)
1. Once again, teach the sign for “Thank You.” You can use it in prayers, in songs, and in conversations with God and others.
2. Children learn at a very young age to say, “Thank You.” To allow that concept to transfer, practice on real people first. For example, you might like to give a friend a gift or treat and request that she sign or say, “Thank You.” Then look at a picture of a flower or something else in nature. Tell your friend that God gave you that gift of a flower just like you gave her the gift of a candy treat. Together, you can say and sign “Thank You” to God.
3. Having a picture bank is an excellent way to talk about things for which we are thankful. Instead of trying to come up with an idea with no visual, it allows someone to get an idea or to point to a picture. I was in a worship service with an individual who has a picture board she uses for communication. As part of prayer requests, her mentor asked her to show what she was thankful for. After selecting an item, the mentor said, “Mary is thankful for Rob.” That was incorporated into the prayer that day.
4. Psalm 136 is an excellent one to use in a responsive reading. By teaching the phrase (perhaps even in sign) “His love endures forever,” one can participate in the worship service by reading a portion of Scripture. Repetition is often very helpful for individuals with an intellectual disability. Depending on your type of service, sometimes it’s helpful to use more repetitive phrases. For example, by having everyone say, “Thanks be to God” each time you have finished reading Scripture, it will allow participation each week for certain individuals.
5. Focus on the glass being half full. Let’s face it, there are many people who struggle each day with difficult circumstances. Although it’s easy to be consumed with those issues, it’s also important to allow that individual to focus on the gifts that God has given. Begin a routine of starting a conversation by saying “Today I am thankful for .” If you do that each time you see a particular individual, he will begin to prepare for your conversation and focus on those gifts. It’s also a great conversation starter at a family mealtime.
6. We generally think about a cornucopia being a Thanksgiving decoration.
Consider having one that is available year-round. Use a basket as a cornucopia and turn the top of the basket into a piggy bank slot. As people share a story or event, you can quickly grab a pen and write out, “Deb is thankful for her new job.” Put it in that display. Every once in a while, take the slips out and thank God for those items that people have submitted.
7. Ask an artist in your church to make you some pictures or look for other pictures that show attributes of God. For example, God is strong. God is a healer. God loves. As you show the picture, the group can pray along, “Thank you, God, for being strong. Thank you, God for being a doctor healer.” Having the pictures to go along with the words can help make prayer more concrete.
8. Has your congregation or family been blessed by the presence of an individual with a disability? Perhaps you would consider thanking God for that individual. What gifts has God given your group because of the presence of that person? As an image-bearer of God, what do you see in that person that makes you think about God?
If you want to delight in some other stories of the gifts that persons with disabilities bring to our communities, considering reading Body Building: Devotions to Celebrate Inclusive Community written by Barbara J. Newman .
What Can I Do? (Service)
What shall I return to the Lord for all His goodness to me?
I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord.
I will fulfill my vows to the Lord in the presence of all His people,
In the courts of the house of the Lord in your midst, Jerusalem.
Praise the Lord!
Psalm 116:12, 17-19
In a loving relationship we want to put our emotions into action and offer something to the one we love. Parents teach children that a response to love is to do something helpful and loving in return. A child may willingly help with work around the house when parents explain the significance of returning love through actions.
In our relationship with God, His love for us leads us to serve Him and the people He puts into our lives. A valuable conversation with others can help them explore what they can do to express love for others. They may wish to do something special for a person who they love at home or church or school. Help them be creative.
Learning from a story
At the beginning of this book I referenced green and pink puzzle pieces, with the color green representing our strengths and the color pink our weaknesses. When we say to God, “What can I do?” we are offering up our green (and even our pink) areas in His service. That is just as true for a person who is typically developing as it is for a person who has a disability. Service is an expectation for each one of us.
At our annual Harvest Festival, the community was treated to candy at each event. One of our candy passers held the bowl on her lap as the rest of her body was immobilized due to Cerebral Palsy. Each child got a smile from her and a piece of candy. She was using a gift she had to serve others, and everyone was blessed by it!
Idea Bank for “What Can I Do?” (Service)
1. Remember, the place to begin is getting to know the individual. If you skipped over part 3 of this book, please go back to complete those activities. Remember, not everyone with a disability is gifted to be a greeter. Discover the individual’s gifts and needs.
2. Plug that person in to your community based on the strengths and gifts.
Although each individual is unique, here are a few ideas:
greeting
coffee serving
library assistant
stuffing member mailboxes
picking up attendance sheets
support person with children
intercessor – praying for the needs of others
creator of artwork
building maintenance
yardwork
office support person
counting the offering, sorting the money
taking attendance
making food
hosting for small group
visiting senior citizens
any match of gift to a situation at church
3. It might be helpful to have a mentor with an individual to serve as a coach for a while. By greeting with another individual, you can form a bond with a peer as well as learn skills from one another. Although there might be a time when an individual can make coffee on her own, having a mentor to teach and guide initially is important.
4. Look for ways to include that individual in existing service projects at your church. For example, if your youth group is going on a mission trip, do you have a youth group member with a disability that might also be able to go along? Perhaps part of the service opportunity would be to form a circle of support around this individual so that he or she could participate in the project. If you have a weekly food distribution or food pantry, perhaps an individual could work in this area.
5. Once again, you may want to teach the sign language for “What can I do?”
6. If you have a digital camera available, you might want to take pictures of a variety of people in your group, including an individual with a disability. As you ask for people to make a commitment, “What can I do?” you might want to have those pictures cycling through on a screen. “Here are some people from our church. God wants you to serve Him. What can you do?” By including that individual, you not only speak to the individual, but also to your entire community.
7. Sometimes an individual with unique gifts and needs can be an opportunity for service for others in your church. Forming support groups around an individual can provide mutual blessings. In the school setting we often offer children a circle of friends. This group agrees to befriend the individual and support the needs as well as celebrate the gifts. In Worship As One: Varied Abilities in the Body of Christ , there is a section on Community Teams. Taking the circle of friends concept, church volunteers agree to surround an individual or family. They get to know one another and commit to supporting that person. This is also known as a Wrap-Around Support team.
Bless You (Blessing)
O my soul, bless God.
From head to toe, I’ll bless His holy name!
O my soul, bless God, don’t forget a single blessing!
He forgives your sins – everyone. He heals your diseases – everyone.
He redeems you from hell – saves your life!
He crowns you with love and mercy – a paradise crown.
He wraps you in goodness – beauty eternal.
He renews your youth – you’re always young in His presence.
God has set His throne in heaven; He rules over us all. He’s the King!
So bless God, you angels, ready and able to fly at His bidding,
quick to hear and do what He says.
Bless God, all you armies of angels, alert to respond to whatever He wills.
Bless God, all creatures wherever you are – everything and everyone made by God. And you, O my soul, bless God!
Psalm 103:1-5, 19-22 (The Message)
When we practice the Vertical Habits we are reminded of the blessings God has given to us, we bless God out of gratitude to Him and we extend that blessing to other people. Perhaps blessing is the most difficult concept to teach to young children. Maturity is needed to understand God’s blessings to us and the ways we can bless others.
But even the youngest among us can experience the assurance and comfort of a blessing. Some parents speak a blessing to their children when they put them to bed. Families may express a blessing when they gather around the table for a meal. We can speak a blessing over one another in the body of Christ.
A worship service typically ends with a blessing. God’s blessing is given to His people and they are charged to go out to be a blessing to others. In some churches people are encouraged to open their hands to receive the blessing. For many people this can be especially meaningful to experience God’s blessing for them.
Learning from a story
Every day of the year, my mom would set out breakfast and serve us with love and respect. Generally, by about the end of April, however, I began to search mom’s Ladies Home Journal magazine. Anticipating Mother’s Day in May, I would hunt for those amazing ideas the family could do to “bless” mom. I read what other families had done, and it sounded pretty good. Mom would like breakfast in bed. Mom would enjoy having a whole day without touching the dishes. That craft on page 42 looks really cute. She would not expect to have a large gift, but when the actions of her family back up the words they say (“I love you, Mom”), it blesses her. Actions plus words really say it all.
“Bless you” is not only something we can say to God, but I believe we need to back up those words with actions. 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4 says, Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. This passage (other translations use the word “Bless” instead of “Praise”) certainly lets us know that as we bless God as the one who gives us comfort, we in turn are expected to actively pass on that comfort to others. Another passage in James says, “What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him,
‘Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed’, but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?” James 2: 14-16 As we reach our hands out to God and say “Bless you,” I would imagine God is a bit like Mom on Mother’s Day. She is blessed by the actions that back up those words.
What if the passage from James were worded a bit differently? “What good is it, brothers and sisters in Christ, if a person raises their arms to God and cries out ‘Bless you!’ but there are no actions to back up those words? Suppose there is a brother in your church community who has Down syndrome. That person is not allowed in Sunday school or the worship service. If one of you says to him, ‘We are the body of Christ. You were made in God’s image, and you have an honored place here as part of that body’, but you do nothing to create that spot, what good are your words?”
1 Corinthians 12 is not a suggestion; it’s a picture and command of how God expects us to live with others in the body of Christ. As you take steps to back up those words with your actions, I know you will have created a concrete way to bless God. God’s heart is open and bleeding for those He sent us – those whom many have turned away. A church is to be His agent of healing in this world, and many persons with disabilities will testify to the hurt and pain they have experienced from exclusion. Exclusion does NOT bless God. Inclusion, and our obedience to His heart, will bless God.
Say it and do it! Then watch God’s blessing fall on your community in ways you cannot yet imagine.
Idea Bank for “Bless You” (Blessing)
1. Get your congregation ready for words and actions. It’s always best to start with Scripture. God is very clear with what He expects of us. Perhaps your group needs to hear very clearly what God is saying in His Word. Challenge them to begin to put actions with those words. Find a coordinator – someone who is willing to focus attention on supporting the gifts and needs of those who have a disability in your community. Perhaps that coordinator will need the support of a committee. Have those people get to know the individuals and put together individual plans for each person.
2. Don’t allow persons with disabilities in your community to be content, either, with just saying the words to God. Allow each person opportunities to put actions to words. Include individuals in ways to praise God. Include all members in service projects and postures of prayer. Give opportunities to speak and act – even if the speaking and acting comes in unique packages.
3. Get the word out in your community. Is your church ready to put action behind the words “Everyone Welcome”? If so, your community is aching to hear those words. I can guarantee you that there are families at home during your worship time because a family member has not been welcome in the place they know as “church.” Get ready for God to grow your church community. There is a mission field out there ripe for God’s touch through you.
4. As you teach people the meaning of “Bless You,” you may want to teach the sign for those words. You may also want to use the example many individuals have witnessed in a church setting. As the pastor delivers God’s blessing to the people, often a pastor will raise his or her arms over the group. As you say “Bless You” to God, have people raise arms to God.
5. Appoint people within your congregation to create visuals to go along with the phrases in the Psalms where the writer blesses God. These can be used as part of a responsive reading or a “blessing” display with references.
6. Have individuals think about who God is. You may want to use picture cards to cue these thoughts, or have people write down a sentence or two on paper. “God, you are holy.” “God, you are strong.” “God, you are enormous.” Whatever people know to be true about God, have them speak it out. Give people a chance to bless God by telling Him who He is.
7. Many of the suggestions written in the section “Love You” might be helpful here as you use music and songs to say “Bless You” to God.
Make sure you reference Appendix C. It contains many activities that churches have done with Vertical Habits. The ones we have included are easy to adapt and use with an inclusive congregation. Also note that while we have focused the efforts of this book on including persons with disabilities, our congregations often include persons who may be new believers, people from a variety of backgrounds and cultures, and persons from a variety of age groups. Many congregations have found Vertical Habits to be a way to welcome each one into the conversation with God. May God show you many ways to use this concept within your congregation.
COMMENTS FROM SCHOOLS AND CHURCHES THAT LEARNED AND PRACTICED VERTICAL HABITS
From fifth graders:
…I worship the one true Father in heaven, the maker of heaven and earth, the one who made me the way that I am – not strong in math, but strong in art. He made me that way for a reason, for a plan that only He knows… I worship because it brings me closer to God, like if you hang out with a friend and get to know them more. Soon enough they could be your BFF. God can be like that too. Just talk to Him and He will be your BFF one day.
…What I learned about worship and God, is that it does not matter where I am or what I am doing. I can always worship God. I don’t only have to worship Him in church or at chapel. For example, I might be in the computer lab taking a MAP test that seems boring. If I try my best, I am doing it for God’s glory because He gave me the brain that I have.
…Whenever I think of how big God is and how much He loves us, I think of my cousin Noah stretching his arms out as far as they can go while he is saying, “so big!” God is so much bigger than that!
...For “I’m sorry,” each class received bags of sand, symbolizing sin. Students carried them as they participated in normal activities. Classes talked about how sin weighs them down and inhibits their lives. In a Friday praise time, the teacher explained how confession means laying down our sins. Then the students placed their ‘burden bags’ at the cross.
Vertical Habits gave students a worship language that spilled over into academics. During a reading lesson, one student commented, “The girl in that story is not practicing the Vertical Habit of forgiveness.”
In a Christian high school setting where the students and teachers come together each day for worship, during the year of Vertical Habits, one month was devoted to lament. “That was an incredible month of personal testimonies, of crying out to God in chapel. It really came across to students that it’s okay to wonder, to question why. God is big enough to handle our frustrations, our anger, whatever is going on in our life.”
“Psalms for Families”1 by Robert and Laura Keeley use the Psalms to encourage faith formation in children and youth. They’ve discovered that when all ages interact with the Psalms, they nurture a common language for life together with God. They’ve learned how to create access points into the Psalms for preschoolers on up. “We included psalms of lament to make sure children get to experience that we can come to God with our sorrows,” Laura Keeley says.
When children engage with the Psalms, they become aware that God hears them, and learn language they can use when they feel like singing a praise chorus or when their world has been shattered. The Psalms demonstrate how to tell God we’re sorry or ask God for help.
A young college student was given the responsibility of making sure everyone got on the bus. She assigned every choir member a phrase from Psalm 24. She’d get on the bus and say, ‘The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.’ The next student would say, ‘The world and all who live in it’ and so on. They would recite the entire Psalm each time they got on the bus. And they knew if anyone was missing, because they knew the Psalm and who said what line. Psalm 24 became an important part of that choir tour, and they ended up reciting it in their concerts.
Adults can help children see that whenever the people in Psalm 107 were hungry, thirsty or in chains, they cried out to God. God responded, and they gave thanks. Youth can color-code the Psalm’s repeated pattern of ‘trouble – God’s response – our thanks.’ They can talk about how God acts in our daily lives and how we thank Him.
Tom Long, director/writer of the Christian drama group Friends of the Groom, worked with five metro Cincinnati churches on Vertical Habits.2 He reports that congregations approached the same habits differently, depending on their theological traditions and congregational makeup.
Focusing on what we do in worship helps remove attention from preferences of style. One church reported that for two years they had been in the midst of considerable congregational discord, which contributed to a loss of many young families. There was a critical need to rebuild trust between various factions within the church, as well as a need to renew worship in a manner that reached out to children, youth, and their parents. This church reported, “Vertical Habits is bringing a fresh element to worship by focusing on the purpose behind worship, rather than engaging in a debate about the style of worship. It has helped us emphasize the elements of worship that draw us together as one body.”
The concepts of Vertical Habits may at first appear simplistic. Yet the churches who have taken time to learn and teach these concepts have found them both challenging and profound. Marc Nelesen, who pastored the congregation at Third Christian Reformed Church in Zeeland, Michigan, noted, “In a day where true, intimate communication is breaking down, even these simple, pithy words become incredibly complex and difficult. The Word that became flesh should be easier than all these other words that we have.”
Another congregation reported, “We have learned so much from our children, who have contributed drawings and devotional entries on the various Vertical Habits. I am truly amazed at the simultaneous profundity and simplicity of their understanding of these habits as they relate to God. Their very honest and very real responses to the Vertical Habits have really challenged many of us to approach God with a ‘child-like’ heart. We learned to appreciate those with disabilities because one of our concentrations was the hand signs of each of the Vertical Habits. The children especially got involved in this.”
One church created stations that allowed people to learn about and experience Vertical Habits through hands-on activities. One group expressed “I’m Sorry” by laying a road down on the floor complete with forks in the road where you had to make a decision about which way to turn. Sometimes in life we make good decisions, but we also make bad ones for which we have to repent. When we repent, God washes us clean. This group symbolized that forgiveness by putting a car wash over the road (PVC pipe with blue streamers) and had people remember that God washes them clean as they walked through the car wash. Another station had a locked treasure chest with a key that did not work. A person trying to unlock the chest needed to ask for help, something that was surprisingly challenging for many people.
A church of inner-city youth called their project the Relationship Toolbox. They found it provided the tools for young people to interact with each other and with God.
In a clinical, residential setting with young people, Vertical Habits proved to be a simple way to build relationships and give expression to emotions these young people had not been able to express.
For more information, including reports, videos, and free resources see http://worship.calvin.edu/resources/resource-library/showcase-verticalhabits-worship-and-our-faith-vocabulary/
Last modified: Tuesday, January 2, 2024, 9:06 AM