Notes: Behaviors Essential to Anger Management

Session #5 Behaviors Essential to Anger Management    

We pointed out that anger and conflict are related.  Where you find one, you often find the other. Typical conflict situations involve at least two people:

• Both parties think they have different values.
• They may hold a position because of past experiences.
• Each person wants to win and to do so the other person must lose.
• People with strong opinions, find it difficult to see beyond their expectations.

Behaviors are rooted in experience.  People tend to avoid behaviors/experiences that make them anxious or afraid of consequences beyond their comfort zones. They would prefer the way they behave because it is known rather than behave in a way that is unknown to them.  Although a behavior may be harmful, they may prefer it over a less harm inducing behavior because they have created a personal pattern.  Let’s look at some patterns of behavior that produce conflict and often escalate into anger that can lead to devastating consequences.

Patterns of Behavior are created by:

• Differing Values
• Attitude of Others
• Social & Economic Variances
• Situational & Environmental Conditions
• Responses to Prolonged Exposure to Certain Stimuli

Behavior is a Choice, you can:

Respond:   A reply that stems from knowledge based upon ethics.

                  Ethics govern our behavior and direct us to conduct ourselves

                  in a certain manner.

React:                  We are prompted by external influences that stimulate our thoughts.

                  Behaviors are based upon prior experiences which turn out to be  

                   favorable or unfavorable. Reactions are a necessary part of life in

                  circumstances that require immediate action.

People who learn to manage anger are far better prepared to meet challenges.
Daily, life is presented as a dose of reality.  Things go well or not so well. Information changes our course and we find ourselves having to adapt to a whole new set of circumstances. When holding anger inside, our physical strength is compromised. Letting it out appropriately takes practice and discipline.  In addition, it requires patience with yourself.  It cannot be ignored. Anger is part of life and it will show itself for certain.  Our certainty needs to lie in how well we manage it when it comes.