Notes: Session #1 Anger Issues and their Causes

Session #1 Anger Issues and their Causes

 

Most people behave in observable ways

    *Environment     * Other People     *Thinking Patterns     *Habits     *Values

 

Two Important definitions:

 

Anger:  A feeling of displeasure resulting from injury, mistreatment, opposition and usually showing itself in a desire to fight back at the supposed cause of this feeling. 

 

Conflict:  A sharp disagreement or opposition, clash of ideas.  An emotional disturbance resulting from a clash of opposing impulses or from an inability to reconcile impulses with realistic or moral considerations.

 

Objectives:

·      To accept human differences as inevitable

·      To help you lose your fear of conflict

·      To use tools that will help protect you in a conflict situation

·      To more effectively handle anger

·      To become more effective as solving people problems

·      To model effective anger management

 

Write the objective you have personally for taking this course

 

Write down the objective you have as you teach this course to others.

 

Define Fear _________________________________________________

 

Common Fears:

♦ Inadequacy in new environment/relationship              ♦ Lack of acceptance

♦ Fear of strangers, people who are different                   ♦ Faltering conversation

♦ Economic Failure                                                                ♦ Criticism

♦ Rejection                                                                             ♦ Failure

Exhibited Anger Behaviors

 

♦ Silence                                             ♦ Glaring eye contact: “the look”

♦ Brevity or abruptness                   ♦ Snubbing or ignoring people

♦ Insults and put-downs                  ♦ Blaming, discrediting, or discounting

♦ Threats…_(fill in the blank)__       ♦ An aggressive, controlling manner

♦ Yelling and shouting                      ♦ Angry outbursts or loss of control

♦ Physical threats                              ♦ Would rather be right than reasonable

 

 

                         

Accuse & Threaten

 

4. Enlist other to fight battles

3. Waste Energy getting even

 2. Generalize problems

1. Find more issues to fight about

 

 

Anger and conflict are both facts of life. Being able to and handle both effectively is one of the most important skills you can learn.  Most of us have a certain dread of confrontation.  We have a fear of being cheated; we are scared of letting others know what we really think. We are afraid to tell them what we feel or fear they will use against us.  We believe our honesty will hurt others, so we avoid confrontation or put on a strong front.