Video Transcript: Leading Family Worship

Video Transcript - Leading Family Worship (Dr Beeke)

All turn with me pleased this evening to two passages of Scripture. The first is from Joshua. Joshua 24 beginning of verse 14. Hear the Word of God. And be aware that this is Joshua's farewell address to Israel as a portion of it. Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him In sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your father's served on the other side of the flood and in Egypt, and serve we the Lord. And by the way, the word serve here can also be translated worship throughout this entire passage. And if it seemed evil to you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve, whether the gods whether your father's serve, which your father's serve, that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, and whose land you dwell, but as for me, and my house, we will serve worship the Lord. That people answered and said, God forbid that we should forsake the Lord, to serve other gods for the Lord our God. Here it is that brought us up in our fathers out of the land of Egypt from the house of bondage, in which did those great signs in our site and preserved us and all the way we're in we went Among all the people through whom we passed, and the Lord drave out from before us, all the people, even the Amorites, which dwelt in the land, therefore will we also serve, worship the Lord for He is our God. Joshua said into the people he cannot serve the Lord, for He is a holy God. He's a jealous God. He will not forgive your transgressions nor your sins. If we forsake the Lord and serve strange gods, then he will turn into your hurt and consume you. After that he has done you good. And the people sit into Joshua No, but we will worship the Lord. Joshua said unto the people, you are witnesses against yourselves that you have chosen the Lord to serve to worship Him, and they said, We are witnesses.

Now, therefore, put away said he, the strange Gods which are among you, and incline your heart unto the Lord God of Israel and the people set into Joshua, the Lord our God, will we serve worship and his voice will leave, obey. Now, Deuteronomy, chapter six, Deuteronomy, chapter six, verse four, Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord:

Well, brothers, I don't know where you're at on family worship. But just as in private worship, all of us, no doubt, fall short. In private prayer, so in family prayer and private readings on family reading. So my prayer tonight is that somehow by the grace of God, those of you who are engaging in daily serious family worship, may hear things tonight that may strengthen that family worship and cause it to grow. And that those of you who are not engaged in it or do not know how to engage in it, perhaps sort of never engaged in it might learn how to engage it. And don't find it threatening but find it, as Dr. Piper just said, encouraging to begin. And I assure you, it will change your life, your family's life. I grew up in a Dutch Reformed home, my father always prayed before the meal. And then Dutch circles, traditions, you pray after the meal as well. So there's always two prayers and a Bible reading. But my father only spoke to us and interacted with us in engaged, prolonged family worship, once a week, on Sunday evening. And so we were kind of trained that when we got married as kids that we would pray before the meal, pray after the meal Read, read Scripture. So we read three chapters a day with our family, morning, noon, supper But not engage in much conversation.

When my son was three years old, my firstborn, I was asked to do a talk and family worship. And I studied the Scottish tradition, the Dutch tradition. And I was blown away. absolutely blown away. And I said to my wife, I'm to give this talk and I'm not doing it myself and I sat down with my boy, he was three years old, and I say, Calvin, please forgive daddy. I have not been talking to you. The way I should have he had no clue what I was talking about. But I said to my wife, please forgive me. I have not been leading family worship the way I thought the way my dad did on Sunday evenings. Every Sunday evening, he'd read the pilgrim's progress to us for about 40 minutes. we'd sing. And then we interrupt him. Sometimes when he was reading, we'd ask him questions, he'd often set the book down. He teach us about how the Holy Spirit leads sinners, with tears coming down his eyes. It was wonderful fact, when my parents had their 50th anniversary, two years before my father died. All five of us children agreed that we would thank my mother for one thing, we would thank my father for one thing, and we put it on tape, so they could keep it as a keepsake. But none of us would talk to each other about what we were going to say. It was absolutely amazing because all five of us think my mother for her prayer life. She was a prayer warrior. And all five of us thank my father for the Sunday evening family worship pilgrim's progress time. And my oldest brother said this. He said, Dad, I want to thank you, but I never had a question in my mind if God is real. Because when I was sitting on your lap, the oldest memory I have in life is when I was three years old sitting on your lap. And I looking into your face and seeing you weep as you talk to us about God from pilgrims progress. Don't you want your children to have that as your old as their oldest memory?

Family worship is invaluable. For the last 17 years of my life, I can say to you that family worship time is the most important thing I do in my life. I wouldn't miss it for anything in the world. It's the highlight of my day doesn't mean it always goes perfect doesn't mean it even always goes well, but I know I feel to the core of my being this is critical to have family worship. I don't know if you remember the space shuttle Columbia, tragically disintegrating during its high speed reentry into the atmosphere in 2003. Remember, the commander of it was Colonel Rick Husband, he was a conservative, evangelical Christian. And before he launched into space for 18 days, he made 36 videos 18 for his son and 18 for his daughter, because he said, I'm going to be gone for 18 days, but I want to lead you and family worship every day even when I'm gone.

He wrote in a videotaped interview that he played at his memorial service these words if I ended up at the end of my life, having been an astronaut, but having sacrificed my family along the way, are living my life in a way that did not glorify God. Then I would look back on it with great regret. Read, have you become an astronaut would not have meant that much at all. I came to realize that what meant the most to me was to try to live my life as God wanted me to do to be a good husband to Evelyn and a good father, to my children. How precious do you think those 18 videos are to the family today? To each child? isn't that the legacy that we want to leave to our children and our grandchildren?

You know, we all want our churches to grow, don't wait. But sometimes our most solid growth is internal growth. And it comes from families that are already there. And we need to nurture them, we need to nurture them in the home and we as pastors need to lead the way So that people coming into our home see us engaging in family worship, we need to preach about it, we need to talk about it. So that our families, our church families, engage in family worship, and strive, albeit with shortcomings with the Puritan said, We must seek to have our families be little churches, for that will be the backbone of the visible church. And so, what I want to do my goals with you in this address as ministers of the gospel, are really for full First, I want to set before you a kind of paradigm of family worship according to the scriptures and, and lacing with some of my own ideas and suggestions. Second, I want us to examine our own practice of leading family worship and ask ourselves, what must change or what could change for the better. And then third, I want to challenge you to commit To preaching on this subject yourself, perhaps to give out a little book, or an audio recording of some kind, to reach every family in your church with this call to family worship.

And then fourth, I want you to seriously consider doing what the Puritans did. When they officiated at the wedding of couples in their church. They went over to the couple's house shortly after they were married, and they modeled in front of the couple family worship, to train their men to lead their families from day one in family worship. In fact, did you know that the Puritans took this so seriously, that in their directory of worship of public worship, they also talk about Family worship. These are the Westminster divines of the 1640s. And they actually went so far that they barred the father from coming to the Lord's Supper if he refused to engage in regular daily family worship, because they said it's an integral part of daily life. And it's actually the foundation, the foundation plank of child rearing. Now, you can do great family worship and still turn your family into a mess if you don't live, what you're saying in family worship, but the point is that you see, family worship is the foundation of child rearing. And that's what we need to get firmly into our minds. And so as family worship goes, often solo go the family and as the family goes, so we'll go the home and as the home goes, so we'll go the church and as the church goes, so we'll go the nation. Family worship is the backbone of the whole venture of our society. That's what the Puritans taught. Now, what I want to do then is I want to look at four things with you. First, we're going to look at the duty of being grounded in the scriptures. I won't look with you so much at the theological foundations of that I've actually, I've actually got a chapter on that in my little book, the family worship, if you want to look at that.

But let me just say a quick word about it right now. Just a brief outline. Our God is a family God. He's a Triune God, he's not a lonely, Allah, a single solitary person, but he's three persons in one. He has a son, he has a spirit. He has an inter Trinitarian relationship. And that is the basis of earthly families and showing his fatherly love our God overflows. into the world he created and He created us in His image to emulate him and to worship him also in our family units, and so he deals with homes, he deals with families, all throughout the Old Testament as well as the new through the principles of Covenant, and represents representative headship. And therefore we fathers are responsible to lead our children in our families in the ways of God. That's why I said this to Abraham in Genesis 18. I know Abraham that he will command and leave his family in the statutes of the Lord. And in the New Testament, we see whole families converted together under fatherly leadership and call to grow in holiness in the life of the church. That's why Doug Kelly says family religion, which depends not a little on the household head, daily, leading the family before God in worship is one of the most powerful, structures that the covenant keeping God has given for the expansion of redemption through the generations so that countless multitudes may be brought into communion with and worship the living God in the face of Jesus Christ. Well, that needs to be fleshed out. And you can read about that. 

But I want to look first at the duty of family worship, second, how you do it, implementing it. And then third, we'll look at some objections and conclude by giving you some motivations. So first, then the duty. I just read to you, Joshua, 24:14-15. And Joshua concludes that verse 15, with these critical words, but as for me, and my house and my house, we will not be optional; we will worship the Lord. Now there are several things we want to notice here quickly. The first thing is that Joshua enforces the service of God in His family by his own example. Verse one of this chapter actually makes plain that he's addressing the heads of households. And verse 15 declares that Joshua is going to do what he wants every other household in Israel to do namely, to worship the Lord in His family. And he has such command and leadership over his own family, but he doesn't go around and ask them, will you worship the Lord with me? No. He says, As for me and my house, we will worship the Lord. And we need to remember that Joshua was over 100 years old here. He has remarkable zeal and courage and command as an aged man. And he knows that his leadership is soon going to end. His direct control over his family will soon terminate. God has told him he is soon going to die. This is his farewell message. Yeah, he's so confident that his influence will continue in his family, that they will not abandon family worship after he dies, that he says, As for me and my family, we will future tense, worship the Lord. That's an amazing testimony of faith. Here's a man who's over 100 years old, it's his farewell message, he's going to die. He knows that much idolatry remains in Israel. He's just told the people put away your false gods. He knows that his family will be swimming against the stream and continuing to worship the Lord. But he believes they will do it anyway.

Because he set the example. And he's imputed into them, instilled it there. Now, turn with me just a moment to Joshua 24:31. You see, his influence is so pervasive that most of the nations follow his example for at least one generation. Look at verse 31. And Israel serves the Lord all the days of Joshua. And all the days of the elders that outlive Joshua that is the next generation in which I know in all the works of the Lord that he has done for Israel. Wow, that's dynamite. Joshua's, Joshua's influence that was grounded in family worship pervades throughout Israel and for the whole next generation. The elders are continuing that tradition among the people and the people are worshipping God daily, in their families.

As for me, in my household, would you go that every one of us would say that tonight with conviction, as for me, in my household, we will serve the Lord, we will seek Him, we will worship Him. We will pray to him as a family. We will read his word replete with instructions and reinforce its teachings in our family. Let me quote Doug Kelly once more. The representative principle inherent in God's covenant dealings with our human race indicates that the head of each family is to represent his family before God in Divine worship, and that the spiritual atmosphere and long term personal welfare of that family will be impacted in large measure by the fidelity or failure of the family head in this area. Now, it's possible that we have failed completely in this area, and God is amazing in his grace and he can still bless our children still best our families, but his normal way is to give a special blessing upon families that worship him from day to day. So what is our duty to do in family worship? 

What does scripture say? What are the ingredients of family worship? Well, there are three numbers. The first is daily instruction, daily instruction in the Word of God. That means we need to worship God in our family by reading the scriptures together as a family, and then instructing our children about what we've just read. And apparently, the way that was done in Old Testament times, was Deuteronomy six, through Q & A, and instructions, and interactions about sacred truth. All those activities that Moses talks about that I read to you, sitting in your house, walking, by your way, lying down, rising up, these are daily activities. You lie down every night you rise up in the morning, you sit in your house every day you walk by the way every day, and Moses is saying we must diligently not passively but diligently converse with our children about the truth of God with burning hearts as fathers. Just like we engage in these daily activities must teach diligently from the heart, with tears at times with earnestness, the Word of God, but the kind of earnestness that we preach to our congregations, we have to be as holy in our family, as we are as we appear to be on the pulpit. Daily instruction in the Word of God, second, daily prayer to the throne of God, daily prayer to the throne of God. Pray without ceasing, implies praying in your family as well, doesn't it? First Timothy four, four and five says, For every creature of God is good and nothing to be refused, if it would be received with thanksgiving for the sanctification by the word of God and by prayer. And if we do everything to the glory of God, even our eating in our drinking, then the food we eat must also be dedicated to God not just with a little Father, thank you for this food, amen, let's eat.

But we must engage in prayer with our family. Whether it's before supper after supper, whatever time of day you pick, that's up to you. But whenever the family can most get together, we must storm the mercy seat with a man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. We must seek to bring our families into heavenly places and to rain down the benediction of God upon them through prayer. God says in Jeremiah 10:25 and he will pour out his fury. That's a scary word, God's fury upon families that could not upon his name, appeared to Thomas Brooks commenting on This text said, a family without prayer is like a house without a roof open and exposed to all the storms of heaven. And then third, daily singing the praise of God. Psalm 118:15 says the voice of rejoicing and salvation is in the tabernacles, or tense of the righteous. The right hand of the Lord does its value late. That's a clear reference to singing. Philip Henry, the father of the famous Puritan commentator, Matthew Henry said, what that means is as you walked along around mealtime, or family worship time in Israel, in the ancient days, you'd hear some singing from that tent and then you hear some singing from that tent they'd be singing the songs God's God's hymnbook and people would be responding and involved in family singing, not just temple singing. So the Lord is to be worshipped daily but Singing of songs and hymns in our homes is glorified families are edified by singing Colossians 3:16 that the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, seeing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Dear brothers, we must implement and we must teach our congregations our families to implement family worship in our homes. God requires it of us not only privately as individuals, but publicly as members of the covenant body and community and socially as families. The Lord Jesus is worthy of family worship. God's word commands family worship, and your conscience affirms it's your duty. Your family owes its allegiance to God. corporately as a family and God has placed you in a position of authority to guide your children in the ways of the Lord, Your first congregation is your family. 

You're more than friends and advisors to your children, as their teacher and ruler. Your example and leadership are crucial, so close with holy authority. You must walk in your family, not just as the buddy of your kids, but you're their Prophet, their priest and King, your prophet to teach them you. You're their priest to pray for them. You're, you're their king to guide them and rule over them by conversing with them and showing them the way to go through the Word of God. So as pastors, we must lovingly inform the heads of families in our churches, that they must command their household to worship God every day. 

Well, how do you do it? That's my second thought. How do you implement it? Well, I'll try to avoid two extremes here. I'll try Avoid an idealistic approach that's beyond the reach of even the most God fearing home. And I'll try to also avoid a minimalist approach that almost abandons daily family worship because the ideal seems out of reach. So let's aim for a happy medium here. First thing is this. So a few preparatory remarks. Number one family worship requires some preparation. You should pray for God's blessing upon that worship. You should have your Bibles ready. You can delegate it to your wife if you want, that's okay. But you're in charge. Have your Bibles ready in a scripture passage selected, and perhaps a catechism book or books of questions and answers for children which can be helpful or a good daily devotional or something at hand to assist you perhaps, particularly, fathers in your families will need that you you may find as pastors that you just want to do it freely from the text at hand. 

That's great. Cheers. Some songs and hymns that are easy to sing, pick a place to gather. We never have family worship around our supper table with all the clutter of dishes. We move right away after supper into a separate room and all our books are situated by our five chairs and we're sitting in a tight circle and we do family worship. And use whatever time and guarded well, use whatever time fits you best, and expect everyone to be there as much as possible. Family worship is to be jealously guarded. And during family worship Principle number two, aim for brevity. Don't provoke your children. If you worship twice a day, probably 10 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes in the evening is probably sufficient for most families. And if your children are older, and they're God fearing and they really want to talk with you longer, maybe shut down the family worship, let some of the younger ones go in play and Speak. Speak longer with them. That's that's fine, but don't overdo it. And don't do 45 minutes on Monday then skip Tuesday. That's like binge eating on Monday and then fasting on Tuesday. You need spiritual food every day and so does your family. Three, don't indulge excuses to avoid family worship.

And come home at night and you say, I'm so tired. Let's just let's just quit it. Tonight. We'll pick it up tomorrow. Don't do that. Or Jesus was very tired for you and he went to the cross and He kept on going. Jesus having loved his own loved them to the end. If he wasn't too tired to die for you, you shouldn't be too tired to live for Him. Or maybe you just kind of lost your temper. 20 minutes ago one of the kids was in here, no mood to do family worship. Late W. Pink says that's all the more reason to do family worship. Because first you need to confess to your child and to God because the greatest problem in our lives really is not sin. I say that Reverend Lee's greatest problem in our lives is unconfessed sin. So confess it immediately. get beyond it. You'll be surprised how. If you're not in the habit of confessing things to your children, I'm always surprised I'll resolutely ask children that way how quick they are to forgive. It's amazing. Just ask him for forgiveness and get beyond it and your family worship will probably have more meaning to you that night. And Principle number four, lead your family worship, with a wonderful combination of a firm fatherly hand and a soft penitent heart. Speak with hopeful solemnity with encouraging warmth With abiding love, talk naturally and you had reverently to your children using the tone that you would use when you speak to a deeply respected friend about a serious matter and expect as you do so great things from a great covenant keeping God. Those are some preparatory remarks. Let's look now at the three areas and let me give you a couple practical guidelines for each first for the reading of scriptures.

Number one, have a plan. Read perhaps 10 or 20 verses from the Old Testament the morning 10 or 20 for the New Testament the evening or read. If your children are very young read maybe a series of parables or stories or book a Genesis is great, or miracles or historical portions. Just be sure that as your children get a bit older, you read the whole Bible. JC Ryle said a whole Bible makes a whole Christian so eventually you want to bring them Through the whole word of God. Since our children were around 10 and up we just we just moved from Genesis to Revelation. When I try to do something different, they don't like it. They said, No daddy month, the whole Bible, okay? Well, whatever works for you. But make sure that they get the scriptures. Two account for special occasions. Don't make it ironclad, do break, break through for special occasions. If we're going to go on a trip we all get down on our knees and we read Psalm 91, or Psalm 121. That's an obvious choice. When we talk about the need for God's protection, and then we go on the trip, or we're gonna have Lord's Supper that on Sabbath morning we reread Psalm 22 or Isaiah 53 or Matthew 26. Three involve the whole family and the reading as soon as the children can read Even before they can read, give them a Bible. And we like to give each one of our children a Bible with a bunch of study notes on the bottom and give them different ones if possible. So they all have different notes and we can compare notes and facilitate conversation. And of course, the ones that can't read yet well try to pretend they can a bit. And that's okay. They're feeling involved and you can help them. You can put your finger on it there and say a couple words, they'll say a couple words behind you, and so on. Just lead them through a couple verses. So if you got 20 verses to read, we got five people in our family. You know, I read for versus tonight. Everyone's involved and as they read, teach them how to read the read too fast. say, oh, son, son, wait a minute. You're going so fast. This this is Word of God, my, my boy,

slow down a bit. And teach them to read with expression by your own example. And don't Don't, don't mumble read with expression. This is the Word of God. It's a breathing book, read it with expression. So you teach them so by the time they're 10 - 12, you don't have to say anything anymore. They read the scriptures wonderfully. Second area biblical instruction. This is the challenge at the beginning, but actually you'll come to love it. Number one be playing in meaning be playing in meaning. The 1647 Church of Scotland directory provides counsel here, it says the Holy Scriptures should be read ordinarily to the family. And after they are read, there should be a conference that is there should be conversation, making use of what has been read and heard. If there was sin reproved in the word read, the father must then make use thereof to make all the families circumspect and watchful against that same sin. If any judgment be threatened, or mentioned to have been inflicted, and that portion of Scripture read, use may be made by the father to make all the time like fear less the same or worse judgment fall upon them for any duty be required. If any comfort and promise be held forth. Use may be made by the father to stir up themselves to employ Christ for strength, and to enable them to do the commanded duty and to apply the offered comfort to their own souls. In all of this, this is still the 1647 directory, the master of the family, that's you father's is to have the chief hand and any member of the family may propose questions or doubts for resolution in the midst of the discussion.

That's the way to do it. So you encourage family dialogue around God's word, you just kind of walk your way back through the 20 verses your children follow along, you ask them questions. Hey, Calvin, what is your note? What do your notes say about that expression there in verse 15, he reads the notes. What do you think? Here's what my notes say: what you know, what do you think is better? What? You know what? How would you interpret that? If they're a little bit younger, you know, you talk about How can you apply this to your daily life? What does this have to do with you today? Lydia? How can you use this? And never ask another child the same question. If the first one doesn't get it, because they start competing, or they start feeling secure, especially if the younger one gets the answer, right, I learned that the hard way. So aim your questions at each child according to their age. So I simply, I simply named them and then asked a question, and the other ones aren't allowed to answer.

And I get another question. So this way you encourage family dialogue. If you don't know the answers, or they don't know the answers, don't ever make them feel belittled ever. This is a learning experience for all of us. Sometimes I don't know the answers. So generally, it's good to have a commentary or two, especially teaching your father to do that in the congregation of Matthew Pooler. JOHN Calvin is a more contemporary commentary that sounds and reform habits sitting beside you. And look it up right there. And if it still doesn't have the answer, just say, well, Dad will study it out for damn well, I'll try to try to get you the answer tomorrow. Three, be pure in doctrine. There's no excuse for abandoning doctrinal precision when teaching young children. All you've got to do is aim for simplicity and soundness together. And four be relevant in application Don't be afraid to share your experiences when appropriate. But do it simply be simply read the first Timothy one. Well, first timothy one verse 15, was an incredibly special verse to me. I was someone you know, I was assaulted in Latvia by two men as I came back from a lecture.

They hit me. One guy had a knife. He cut up a sheet and they bound me head and feet and arms behind my back very tight and gagged me and kept running the knife up and down my back and said they were the mafia. That's all I understood about the mafia. And I just been told all the night before that if the mafia ever gets older, you're as good as dead. So I really never imagined at that moment, I didn't even enter my mind to come out of this alive. I knew I was dead. So I just took those last minutes of my life to pray to God that my wife commanded my children, seminary, and church to God. And it was amazing because God just applied this promise to me. This is a faithful, sane and worthy to be accepted of all that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, whom I am chief and I was laying there expecting to die any moment I saw that was through the blood of Jesus that I was saved and through that blood alone and I could rest in that. It was the perfect base for a little while. And then I started thinking about my kids. And my hands were tied very tightly bound behind my back and numbness started going up my arm. And he got up to just about my elbow and I said, you fool focus on Jesus, I focus on Jesus and and honestly, the numbers were right back down and out of my fingers, I thought was a miracle at the moment later, I explained it to a doctor, my congregation, so it was very physiologically explained.

 All right, but it was wonderful to me at the time. But you see, that verse is imprinted on my  memory bank. I love that verse. I love to preach that text. So when we come to that family worship, I tell that to my children, you know what this verse means to your dad. So this gives a sense that, hey, the Bible is real to my dad. The Bible is a real book, the Bible helps us in time of need. So it's not just relevant in applications to daily life, trying to bring things from your own life, or trying to bring things from the life of positive things from the life of people from your church or positive things from church history about these various texts. So your children feel this is a real book that gives real answers, use concrete illustrations, or try to tie it into sermons you preached last week or two weeks ago. That's very helpful as well makes children feel Hey, sermons aren't just for Sunday. They're there to be lived out there to be talked about during the week as well. And then fifth be affectionate in manner be affectionate in manner. Here my, my, my hero is Solomon in Proverbs I, I just think this is amazing. The way he talks to his sons, my son, there's just such warmth. My son came my son, I'm going to give you wisdom and understanding. That's how we should do family worship. It's all affectionate. Children need to feel our warmth and our love and get our urgency. We need to be a father friend to them. We need to take them on our laps when we're young.

Talk to them one on one, the one on the other, face to face eyeball to eyeball but the wonderful things of God with love can hold wonderful The Lord is telling there's there's no way no other way to live but to love the Lord and serve the Lord and fear the Lord and delight in the Lord. There's no other option for children, this is the way to let them feel your warmth. conveyed to them the whole counsel of God while they're on your lap. When you go to pray, you know you pray, Lord, I can't bear the thought, Lord that I miss any of these children haven't please Lord convert all of them. So my dad used to pray at our family table to the minister who heard 1000 times Lord, I can't miss any can't miss any of our children and have them when we all got converted. He said, Lord, I can't miss any of the grandchildren. convert them all, Lord. And well, my mother now is 35 grandchildren 89 great grandchildren, and most of them serve the Lord but but now let's convert the great grandchildren all of them. Our children need to feel that we love them, but we love their soul. Most of all, soul. Love said Ryle is the soul of all love. They've got to feel that they've got to know that love is the one grand secret of successful training. Ryle concluded. You know, when my son was three years old, he taught me something I will never forget. We have a separate little room. We call it a sunroom. It's really the discipline room.

And  I take them in there individually, I follow Ted Tripps example of shepherding a child's heart. You never discipline them. Other children, and well my son got a few spankings from me. And one time after he got a spanking, and we hugged and then we prayed and we walked out of the room, hand in hand together closure. He looked up at me and he said something that just floored me. He said, Daddy, how come you never sin? Whoa, let's go back to the room. So I sin I sin every day I'm a sinner just like you. But it is overwhelming. Do you know little children see you as a good figure? That's awesome. We had a family coming to church and visiting for a while and I went over to visit them and next Sunday I got in the pulpit and the lady was sitting about row 10 with your child and traveled four or five years old and she said to the child Just you know who that is. I mean, just been there. She expected, of course a Reverend Beaky, the child said, God

What you saw last night we talked about Calvin saying, What is prayer, I climb onto the lap of God. And I know the warmth of his ear and his heart. Like a good shepherd. He's the great Shepherd, so that we can hear his priestly beating heart. Well, in family worship, I want my children to have that feeling. Put them on my lap, the warmth with which I embraced him, this is the way God embraces sinners. I want to teach them by the evening by the very posture in which they're sitting on my lap. And then of course, require attention. This is where you've got the firm part come in . As loving as you are, you'll never allow slouch behavior. We are worshipping God's family. No one answers the phone. Now this is far more important than any phone call. The caller will call that we are worshiping God, there's no interruptions. No one brings their cell phone to family worship. Everything centers around God, our audience with God is more important than the voice of any human being. We require attention. Here you children, the instruction of a father and attend to no understanding. Now what about the praying part? Well, be short. When your children are young, probably three to five minutes is sufficient. And when they get older, please don't go more than seven or eight minutes, that's long enough for even teenagers. And don't teach in your prayer and don't preach in your prayer. God doesn't need your instruction. If you're going to preach to your children, do it with your eyes open.

So teach with your eyes open and pray with your eyes shut. And be simple without being shallow. You know, a perfect model here is JC Ryle. You know, one of the first things we did when our kids were like seven, eight years old, we got the expository thoughts on the gospel variety. We read through all four of those volumes and it talked to them about it. I simplified the language, but an eight year old can understand, right? It's amazing, and he's not shallow. But he's simple. Find good books like that to help you and direct you and be direct. Spread your needs before God pleases your case. Ask for mercy. Name your teenagers by name and all your children and spread their needs out one by one before God and ask them before you pray. You know, you guys got a test tomorrow. Oh, you got it. Okay. Okay. So you got to test the algebra. 

Okay. Everyone's feeling well, okay, everyone's feeling well, you got any friends that are needed right now. And you just bring all these things in prayer. Now when you're direct, and when your children know that you're going to pray for every need they have, and you want to know their needs, because you want to pray not just in family, but you tell them, I want to pray for you privately, please tell me what's going on in your mind in your heart. I want to know your needs, I can pray for you. And whenever they get in trouble, when they get any problem, the very first thing to do is to get alongside them and say, Okay, let's pray. First of all, let's pray. And so they know that dad is going to be there to pray for them in every need, they have. So after a while, what's going to happen when they have a need, they're going to come to you and say, Dad, I've got this need, will you pray with me? That's beautiful. It's beautiful. When your children come to you and say, Please pray, please pray with me. That's great. Now the Power of that is when they get old. It's like putting money in the bank. You know, you put it up in reserve, when they get older and they're tempted to sin they are tempted to go into places they shouldn't be. Maybe the power of prayer, and your example and your concern and your appeal to their conscience, maybe it will hold them back even if they're not saved yet. You know, when I was 12 years old, I was tempted to go to a place with a friend. And I mean, this sounds crazy, but this actually happened. I was going to go into a place I shouldn't go. And it was like Sunday, before I got into the door, hey, it's like I saw my mother on her knees in front of me. I was so funny I sent my friend. You know, I can't do this. And I didn't have the courage to tell him why I can't do this.

I was unconverted. So you never know the power you have with your children when you set examples for them. Now be varied in your prayers as well. Obviously, you need to teach your congregation you men pray every Sunday. So it shouldn't be difficult for you but teach your people to use the ACTS acronym. adoration, confession, thanksgiving supplication. It's so easy for them to remember. And just teach them, model it for them. And give variety to your prayers and bring in the church people, the sick ones, let your children grow up feeling they're part of the congregation. They need to pray through the bulletins sick as well as you do. So begin with a family when it comes to your supplication begin with your immediate family, but then move to move to the congregation and be a trainer. By that I mean, train your children to pray when they're very, very young. What I did was I took them on my lap when I was three. And we have I pray, by the way, before the meal, and then at the end of the family worship. My wife takes a turn with the three children. That's just the way I've always done it. And when my children are three years old, I let them pray the closing prayer, but I first take them on my lap of course, and I say, Now Daddy's gonna whisper in your ear, What to say? 

What to pray and whisper for a few years, few words, they repeat it. When they're about four. I say, why don't you try to start, they do a couple sentences, I say and just poke me in the stomach when you're stuck. And I'll continue with it for some more. Well, my youngest daughter really poked me, but okay, she poked me, I kept going. By the time they're seven, they're eight. They're praying the whole prayer by themselves. Their friends come over when they're nine and 10 and say okay, so it's your turn to pray, no embarrassment to pray in front of their friends. You've been doing this for five years, six years. This is ordinary, you see. So you train them in this way. Then of course, once in a while you'll have to correct their unreformed doctrine. But do that very tenderly. Do that privately and do that only as a last resort. One of my daughters prayed. When our house was built for four months in a row, every time that the people building the roof would not fall off the roof and the house was long built. So eventually I had to say, you know, you don't need to pray that anymore. Now for singing, sing doctrinally pure songs. And don't forget the Psalms. Calvin said the Psalms are an anatomy of all parts of the soul. Whenever you think about the Psalms, they were God's original book for singing, and they have a wonderful LIVING GOD centered, scriptural experiential piety available to us in them, and teach your children to sing heartily and with feeling whatsoever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not unto men. Colossians 3:23

Oh, you say but my thighs. My son would never sing. Well, that's simple. Son No singing, no food. they'll sing. And then after family worship, when you get down on your knees together at night with your wife, just the two of you. Store in the mercy seat for blessing on your family worship that day. pray, Lord, use our poor stammering instructions to save our children to cause them to grow in grace that they may put their hope in The and use the family worship today. Lord Jesus breeds this family worship with I word and with I spirit and makes these life giving times for our children. All right, what about objections? Well, let me go through these very briefly. Our family doesn't have time for this. Well, Samuel Davies answers that one Well, were you formed for this world only there would be some force in this objection. But how strange does such an objection sound come From an era of eternity pray, what is your time given to you for? Is it not principally that you may prepare for eternity? And have you known time to invest in your family for what is the greatest business of your and their lives? Another objection, there's no regular time when we can all meet together. Well, maybe you have to have two family worships. Or maybe you have to teach your family priorities. When my son was 12 years old, he loved to play soccer and he played soccer when season four team and the next season he came to me and said that soccer this year is going to be from 6:30 to 7:30. Every night, or every, every time there's a game. I said, Oh, he said, That's family worship time, isn't it?

I said yeah. He said, What can I just do it? Can I just do it this year, just this year, next year. I think the time will be different. I said, Well, what do you think? What do you think I should say? Yeah, he said, Yeah, yeah. Yeah, family worship is more important. Maybe I can do soccer next year. I never told him. He was great. I was actually debating myself. Another objection our families have to small Richard Baxter says where two or three are gathered in my name. I will be in the midst of them. I was telling the, the speaking group here at around the supper table. I was in Singapore recently there was there was a man whose house I stayed and said, I'm going to do family worship now. Would you like to join us and he had no children? I said, Sure. So we went upstairs and lo and behold, there was a pulpit up there. And there were two church pews, ministers going really over the top. And there his wife's came in and sat down and she put a head covering on and he began to preach to I said the second pew. Our families too diverse to profit, not really. You see, you all need to pray young and old. You all can understand singing, youngest child can memorize a song. And as far as the instruction part, you just tailor make it according to each one. And when you talk to the youngest children, the oldest ones are listening. If you're talking to a five year old, the 19 year old is listening. And you say to the 19 year old, you listen as I talk to this five year old now, because you're soon, God willing, probably have the head of a home yourself, and you've got to, you've got to be able to take this over. So they're learning as they're listening to you.

Other than the last objection, I'm not good at leading family worship. That's a common one. Get these simple books. I'm not the only one that wrote a simple book and family worship but Jerry Marcelino has one. Don Whitney has one. Then there's the old ones, James, Alexander, Matthew Henry and so on. And teach your people to, to read one of the simple ones, 50 pages, takes them an hour and a half to read it. And then try it. And even if you do it for two minutes, and the next day, three minutes, it will build. It's like learning how to swim, you can do it. George Whitfield said, where the heart is rightly disposed, that does not demand any uncommon abilities to discharge family worship in a decent and edifying manner. The greater problem is not ability but commitment to do it and realizing how important it is. What are the motivations let me conclude with those. Well, let me give you four or five of them. Number one, the eternal welfare of your loved ones. God often uses family religion to save souls. You know, churches are wonderful and God uses and blesses preaching. Of course, that's his primary means of grace. But you know what, there's only something in the mind of a teenager in particular, a little bit artificial about church even about the school environment. But Home is where the rubber hits the road. And if they see reality in you, and in your wife in the home, and they hear it from your lips, and they see it with your godly walk of life, as you lay down as you rise up, as you talk about the things of God throughout the day, even reinforcing your family worship, they feel the reality. 

That is the most powerful thing you can possibly imagine. I was in Italy recently, and they were 300 ministers, and they asked the question, how many of you had God fearing mothers who made a deep impression upon you about Christianity? And I turned around and looked into it. I don't think It was so but it looked to me like every hand in the whole place went up was amazing. Our mothers and fathers are incredibly important. You want your church to grow, you want solid, stalwart sons and daughters of the Church of Jesus Christ. you train your church to engage in daily family worship. That's probably the best guarantee under the spirits blessing of solid growth. Spurgeon said, I remember my mother tearfully praying over me, saying, Lord, they'll notice that these prayers and unanswered and Charles's conversions he's very prayers will bear against me, against him in the Judgment Day. Spurgeon wrote, the thought that my mother's prayers would serve as witness against me on the Day of Judgment sent terror into my heart, but God used it. God used it in family worship in Spurgeon his life to make him soft and tender for the things of God. Dear father's use every means you have and teach your fathers to do so as well? To have your children snatched as brands from the burning, pray with them, teach them, sing with them, weep over them, admonish them, plead with them. And remember it every family worship, you are ushering your children into the very presence of the Most High God. You are talking with Joshua. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, seek then to bring down God's benediction on your family, seek their eternal welfare number to the satisfaction of a good conscience. satisfaction of a good conscience one of the Puritans Robert Bolton was perfectly healthy. One morning when he rose, he gathered all his children around them and he said, Dear children, don't ask me how he knew this. The Lord must have shown somehow I'm breakfasting with you this morning. And tonight I will be supping with the Lord Jesus Christ. I'm saying farewell to you today.

You know, I haven't been a perfect father. I've had my shortcomings, my flaws, my faults, and I asked for your forgiveness. But one thing you know, I have taught you, I have prayed with you. I have wept with you. I have offered Jesus Christ to you every day in this family. You have not been without witness, you know the gospel. And now children don't one you dare to meet me on the wrong side of Jesus Christ on the great day. Wow. Free conscience alone could make a man have the boldness to say that Matthew Henry had much the same kind of deathbed God has shown him around him said something very similar. And JC Ryle said this, I charge you father's take every pain to train your children through family worship, not just for the welfare of their own souls, but for the sake of your own future comfort in peace. Your own happiness depends on it. Children have caused the sadness, tears that a man has ever had to shed who can bear the reproach of the steaming conscience that condemns us, because we haven't brought up our own children and the fear of God when we were preaching to the masses.

Thirdly, assistance in child rearing. You know, family worship helps promote family harmony, in times of affliction, sickness, death. It offers greater knowledge of the Scriptures. It helps our families grow in personal piety. It makes them more open to speak about things You know, you can speak if you can speak about the most intimate spiritual experiences with your children, and about sacred things, tender things in family worship, then you can speak to them naturally about religious things during the day as you're going on a trip as you're walking through the woods or whatever you're doing comes naturally then because family worship sets the pattern, then you can speak to them about anything. You can explain the facts of life to them. You don't have to be embarrassed. You've talked about more intimate things, spiritually intimate things. So it gives you open communication, it helps you in all kinds of ways.

Fourth, the shortness of time, the shortness of time. My son is turning 20 tomorrow. Where the time goes, you know, most of us have just a short window of 20 years. That's if we live to train our children, it's gone in a moment for what is our life, says James. It's a vapor that appears for little time and vanishes away. We ought to conduct family worship in the consciousness of the brevity of time and see every day as a gift of God to bring the Word of God to them. Well, let me conclude now. And I want to conclude in two ways: First of all, what if I failed, some of you are going to say I've failed miserably. And I didn't even know about these things. And I'm just feeling terribly guilty right now. My kids are too old. Well, begin today. God knows our weaknesses, mindful of our human frailty, don't beat up on yourself. But begin today confess to your wife, confess any children you still have in the home, perhaps confess to married children, I've come short. Give them a little book. Help them to do differently than you've done, but just don't sit and wallow but confess and begin. If you can't do with your children, begin with your grandchildren, pray for them, take them on your lap. speak to them about the ways of God JW Alexander put it this way. If you've never done it before, fly at once with your household to the throne of grace.

And don't become discouraged if your children don't take to it right away. And don't give up. And if you're if you didn't in the past and you're growing lukewarm in it, pass it to your family but grow to look warm. Begin Again with fresh eagerness. Go forward. Be realistic. Don't expect perfection, but do it. And you will find you will find Yes, you won't have perfect children. Yes, you'll have problems. But you will find that family worship will set the tone for your entire home and your communication and will help you In every way, God blessing them. Now the last thing I want to do is I want to read something to you from the life of John Payton. This has moved me, this has been a mentor for me. This is my model of what I want my children to think about me. John Payton served as a missionary to cannibalistic people in the islands of the South Pacific Ocean, he faced enormous difficulties and sorrows, but he persevered as a missionary in the name of Jesus Christ. Later in his life, when he looked back, he said it was his father that had the influence on him. It says, Our Father, when daily, often several times a day, to retire to shut the door, and we children got to understand that prayers were being poured out there for us, as of old by the high priest within the veil and the most high place But it wasn't only in the intervale. He also engaged them in family worship every single day. 

And Payton wrote, when the day came after he had to leave when he had to leave home to go to Glasgow to study theology and to do urban evangelism, he had to walk 40 miles before coming to a train station. His father walked within the first six miles of the way. And this is what he writes. His consul's in tears and heavy conversation are fresh as it were yesterday, tears are on my cheeks as freely as then whenever memory steals me away to the scene. For the last half mile, we walked almost in silence. My father, as was this custom carrying hat in hand with long flowing hair. His lips kept moving in prayer from me, I'm sure his tears fell fast. When our eyes met each other. It looks for which all speech was vain. We hold it on reaching the departed. The appointed party in place, he grabbed my hand firmly. For a moment, he was silent. And he looked me in the eyes and solid lean. affectionately said, God bless you, my son, your father's god bless you and keep you from evil. Unable to say more, his lips kept moving in silent prayer. In tears, we embraced and parted . I ran as fast as I could, and when about to turn a corner in the road where he would lose sight of me. I looked back and saw him still standing with his head uncovered, where I left him gazing after me, waving my hat.

I was around the corner in an instant, but my heart was too full and sore to carry me further. So I darted into the side road and wept for a while, and then rising cautiously, I climbed the dike to see if he had stood there. And at that moment, I caught a glimpse of him climbing the dike on the other side, looking for me. He had not seen me, and after he gazed my direction for a while he got down, he said his face towards home, his head still uncovered. His heart I know therefore, was still rising in prayer for me. I watched through blinding tears until this form faded from my gaze. And then I hasten on my way volleying deeply and often by the help of God to live and act so as never to grieve and dishonor such a father and such a mother as he had given me.

The appearance of my father, when we parted, his advice, his tears, the prayers, the road, the dikes, the family worship, the climbing up on it, the walking away head uncovered have often all throughout life risen before my mind, and do so now I'm writing as if it was an hour ago. It is no faricy ism. But deep gratitude, which makes me here testify that the memory of that scene not only helped me by God's grace to keep me pure from prevailing sins, but stimulated me all through my years of studies, that I might not fall short of his hopes and all my Christian duties. I might faithfully follow his shining example. How much did it lead him to have such love for his father and for his father's faith? He goes on to say this, how much my father's prayers at this time impressed me. I can never explain, nor can any stranger understand. But when on his knees and all of us kneeling around him and family worship, he would pour out His whole soul in tears, for the conversion of the hidden world, to the service of Jesus. And for every personal need. We all felt as if we were in the presence of the living Savior. And we learned to love and to know Him as our divine friend. And as we would rise from our knees, I used to look at the light to my father's face, and wish I were like him in spirit, and I would secretly pray that I might somehow someday be privileged to be part of an answer to his prayers to carry the gospel to the heathen world in some way.

I went to the cannibals . His wife died, his child died and he had to sit on their grave so that the cannibals won't eat their bodies. What gave him the strength? God bless his father's family worship and his father's shining. Example. Oh God, make us such fathers. Give us wisdom. Give us a heart for family worship. Help us to pray with Alexander White over our own children, Almighty God our Father. Give us a seed that is right with us and give us our children a second time by a far better birth or better have we never been troughed? Better we had never set our days solitary unless our children are to be right with Thee The fallow guard art thyself a father, thou hast in thyself a father's heart hear us then, for our children, our Father in season out of season. We would lift up our children daily in secret in family worship, that we and all our children may be vain right with The. Lord, we commend every father gathered here tonight. And we pray Forgive us our every sin, cleanse us in Emanuel's blood. We're all guilty Lord, but we bring our guilt to thy blood. And we pray washes clean, and give us vows to go out to engage our children, our wives, in serious, daily prayerful Bible centered family worship. Amen