Transcript: Officiating a Funeral Ceremony

Video Transcript: Officiating a Funeral Ceremony (Henry Reyenga)

The Bible says that the last enemy to be destroyed is death. Jesus Christ, raising from the dead, destroyed that enemy. But it is true that until Christ comes again, and with our resurrected bodies, we need him, we still deal with that enemy. But we do not deal with it in despair. We have an underlying hope, as a Christian minister or officiant, when asked to conduct a funeral, to leave a ceremony to give a funeral message, we have that hope deep inside of us. Today, we're going to talk about conducting a funeral ceremony, we're going to talk about the methods. I'm going to share with you some of the truth, the experiences, the ministry training practices, that over the years I've gathered, that I've observed, and others, and give you as an option, as you consider how you are called to do a funeral ceremony or a funeral message. first of all, let's talk about the big picture. In many ways, the funeral is more about the living and breathing. Sometimes, ministers will talk all about the diseased, and to the point where there's no mention of anybody in the audience. When the deceased person is with the Lord, the audience, they're the ones that are grieving. 

keep always in mind that the audience is those that you're sharing that message for. I've also seen like, sometimes, that the minister talks about the biblical hope, which is wonderful, but doesn't even mention the deceased or the audience. what I've observed, the best practices are to have that balance between the audience, the deceased, and the biblical content. We're going to talk about that. But remember, the big picture is still you are ministering to people, the funeral is more about the living and grieving. when you start thinking about preparing a ceremony or a message, remember this there is not a one size fits all funeral message or ceremony. In many times in Christian, there's been a shift to a liturgy where it's the same liturgy, no matter what, no matter even what the occasion is. Honestly, that has worked to because the power of the hope is that the gospel is amazing. What we've noticed in recent times, is that there's much more of a personalization of Scripture to local families, local greeting families, a good example of that is in weddings. Once upon a time, the wedding liturgy was very simple. This is what it was. For some people, and maybe that's in your situation, that is the audience expectation. 

But for many and more, it seems like there is a move toward that personalization. in this case, too, there's not a one size fits all type of funeral ceremony or message. how do you personalize this is a good question. it means that you interview, especially if you don't know the family very well. You may be called upon to be officiant and know the family somewhat. You can base your message and ceremony and what you know, but I always believe in interviewing the family again. Even as a pastor, I've had it where I thought I knew the deceased really well and found I didn't. I had been a minister for many years. I just practiced, do the interview, meet with the spouse, meet with the children. Just have a meeting and start asking curious questions. What you're looking for as you ask curious questions is light themes, common experiences, a common vocation, a time when there was a family crisis and everyone got through the crisis together a humorous moment, endearing qualities, examples of faith. Write them down. put them in a sense, in that first level of message preparation. Do not do this when you're thinking about the message, keep these types of things away from the message or ceremony. Preach someone into heaven, do not preach someone in heaven, when evidence of faith exists do share it. 

Do not joke about struggle areas of the deceased. This could be issues in families that have caused pain. You don't need to somehow joke about that, and you will not help the audience grieve the deceased. Do not talk long about your experiences with the deceased or your experience with the deceased. I will talk about that real quick. A lot of times I've seen ceremonies; being now almost 60, as I give this video, I've been to lots and lots and lots and lots of funerals and seen a minister or an officiant as if they can't think of anything to talk about or they're too worried that it's dangerous, or they didn't do their efforts and work to interview. they'll give a 15 to 20 Minute Message. 10 minutes will be recounting the stories of the deceased with the officiant or minister. Yes, Scripture is brought in and a little bit about the grieving. But always remember, be very careful, if you're going to talk an experience, make it one short experience. George and I went fishing three weeks before he passed away, suddenly on that heart attack and George shared how much he loves his wife, and said she is everything. Now notice what's happened there is Yes, you've shared a little bit, you're bringing that rapport and that authenticity. But you're immediately taking that and blessing the audience. 

That is the life of George, where then she feels loved. What it does is it takes your experience and puts it into the lives and experiences of those in the audience. Do not use the message to preach as someone in the audience. In my early ministry, I did stuff like that. I can tell you that all I did was create, hurt, and offence. It was not necessary. My goal was not to take the death of someone and preach with someone else. Back in the 1980s and 90s. That was some of the convention. At least I understood the convention, maybe I got it all wrong. that's very possible. But do not preach at someone in the audience. 

Do not happy talk. That happy talk is, is talking about inconsequential things that don't really relate to why you're there. I'll give you an example of that. you start a message and you started something like that as well. in my devotions this morning, I came upon a passage that talks about our hope in Jesus Christ. I thought that was neat. I'm doing a funeral today about that. Then when I got into the car, driving here, you know, I saw on the road that the sun was rising, and it was just beautiful. As I was seeing the sunrise, I saw that you know God is bringing a new day. 

Okay, now, that's happy talk. It's is all beautiful stuff. Hey, you're talking about yourself is talking about yourself in no relationship to the deceased. You're offered taking precious time on something that does not specifically relate to why you're there. be very careful about not doing the happy talk thing, it's very easy to do. Also, do not go longer than 15 to 20 minutes, unless that's the local expectation. That could be true. Sometimes there are local expectations that it needs to be a half hour. In honoring that, I would strongly suggest that you write out your message. Funeral messages are usually written out. Why? It helps with your emotions. Sometimes it is fascinating, when you are giving a message, a funeral message of emotions strikes you: you see the widow, or widower breaking down in tears or a family member or a family, and it hits you. If something's not written out, all your thoughts that you want to give, thoughts in the notes, cross and disappear just like that with the emotion of a moment, and can just wipe away stuff that you prepared to give. Here's the other thing is you want ultimately, to bless people, and you don't want to make it about your emotions in your sadness. 

You're there to bless people. yes, your message will elicit much emotion, part of a funeral experience is part of the grieving process, where people do share things but even if you're close to the deceased, maybe you're preaching a message or sharing a message is a better way to put it. If you know the deceased very well, it can be very emotional. But when writing something out, you can have that moment of your emotion, we can also move on and keep the focus of why you're there. Write on a message keeps you from happy talk. When you write that message, you're going to keep happy talk to the minimum anyway; it helps you evaluate the words chosen for the occasion, and in to get feedback before you give the message. One of the things that I do is I write the message out and then I share it with my wife, Pam. I'll share it with others, too. I do not share it with those that I'm ministering to. Because in that moment, you don't want them to sort of like see it ahead of time, then have them in the evaluation mode. You want them to just receive that message as comfort and encouragement. You don't want to bring them into your process and be evaluators of your process. Writing out the message helps you not forget to mention her name. I remember when I was less disciplined about right on messages early in my ministry, and I'm sharing with you some of the mistakes that I am mini officiants and officiating ministers have made, you know, we sort of wrote our notes down, and we think we can wing it. 

What I would do is, is I missed a name, or I mispronounce a name horribly. It wasn't written down. Or I missed something that that the audience consider is very important that was in my notes but somehow it did not get mentioned. Again, writing out your message helps you not forget some important detail or name. It helps you get the story right. sometimes what you're doing is you're sharing someone's life and connecting them to the Word of God and a little detail can change a lot in it for me In the end, I found it really helps me feel more confident to do the message. In a funeral message, you don't have to be that impressive. You know what I mean by that: you don't need to be banging it out of the park as a big communicator. What's more important is a sincere heart. There are times if you're just reading the message, without even making great eye contact, so be it. It's the heart, it's the authenticity of the message. It's the words a lot of times when people are at a funeral message, what I'm doing is this, there's her looking down anyway. For, in some traditions, the casket is right up front. They're looking at the casket, not at me. They're reflecting on things. In a lot of ways, your message is more being there to help someone process this event, the event of a funeral, that only happened once in a life, a person who is deceased. That is when the life is no longer there, and the person's body is there. everybody, you know, we get it that the last enemy is death, that we understand that, but this is that type of occasion. we write things out your, the words are more carefully chosen for the occasion and thought through ahead of time. write out your message. Here's just a few things to keep in mind. 

When writing the message as a Christian officiant or minister, there are three key factors to consider in writing the message. I mentioned them earlier, but I'm going to mention them again: the audience, the deceased, the biblical comfort, those are the three pillars, three sources of content that your message will include. let's talk specifically about each of these. 

First of all, each audience is different. Each funeral presents a different challenge. You will never get this perfectly. Why would you not get this perfectly? Well? Because each family is very different as well. Is the family in conflict? Does the family have siblings? Who are in an envious conflict with each other? Did the father or mother favor one and not the other? Were there some new wrinkles thrown into the inheritance? All of those things? Is the family at peace with the deceased, loved by all or they're hated by some ignored by others? What about the culture of the family? Was this family just a very hugging and loving family and he could just feel their warmth? Do they exude warmth? Or was the family much more boundary driven? Where people were more separated in social distance? What about the type of death? Was this a tragic death of someone young, a child an accident? Was it a death of somebody who lived a well lived life now in their 80s or 90s? The death is like a comfort because there was suffering was it cancer, what all of those factors, all factor in the audience was the person that person impact that the community knows and loves, and the audience is filled with community leaders. In many ways, this is the most challenging factor. You will not get this perfectly. That's just the way it is. But what you can do is that you can sincerely do an interview with those who are closest to the deceased. You can learn curious questions and learn themes about that person's life while you're doing the interview, you can also parse or discern the culture that's going to be at the funeral. One of the things that I do when I do interviews and curious questions, who do you think is going to come to the to the memorial service or the funeral? Those that you're doing the interview with will say and things will come out? 

I think that Bobby is going to be there, and Bobby and my father have not got along in 30 years, but he's coming. Okay, now you know that somebody is there who had a detached relationship with the deceased; factor that in, now what happens when you're curious and you consider that first pillar of the audience is the Holy Spirit gives you insight at the tone, the types of message that you're going to give those comments that might cause offense, that comments that might bring people back together. at funerals in these types of occasions, God can work in ways that we don't get. But God brings people in God does the uniting God does the helping someone through grief. But as an officiant, this is extremely challenging, and we do not get it perfectly. But what we do is we bring to the table a concern about the audience. Remember, each audience is different, and each funeral presents a different challenge. Another key factor to consider while you're writing the message is the deceased in your interviews. Did you find an angle? I have a sample methods written by a pastor who shared a method by his dad, and he had an angle in there about a favorite family pet that was close to his father, and how that pet exuded, traits of the deceased and how the Bible said that so I just you can just look that over in your reading. 

But what would be an angle, you know, did this person have a life of generosity was that person wise discerning was he or she a faithful father or mother. Maybe it's a very tragic type of funeral was a thoughtful child who loved life. All of those things about the deceased are now factored in as you're writing the funeral message. then the biblical comfort. The Bible is filled with stories of life lived that may connect to the themes of the deceased. Again, check the sample message. Make sure that gospel comfort is woven in, in such things as Jesus defeated death, God forgives sin, God is here for us when we hurt, He's the God of all comfort, heaven is now the dwelling place of the deceased, we will meet again in the bye sweet by and by: all of this, weave together in the message, knowing the audience has seen an angle about the deceased, the biblical comfort in keeping the content appropriate for those three factors. Now the message itself to keep a beautiful balance between the deceased and the biblical comfort. What I like to see in person that I've seen very effective is sort of a half & half balance, where it's not all about the deceased. Then there's one Bible verse, or it's just not all Bible verse with a cup, a little bit about the deceased loved. Remember, in your local tradition, there will be local expectations. 

Some Christian traditions are 80% of the Bible, and 20% of deceased; in some I notice that they are the opposite. You have your local context by which to make that decision. another thing to know about when you're writing a message here, too, is that this is one of your first messages for a funeral. Seek to do less, rather than to do more. Seek to hit out a park at 10 minutes, where you really see a theme. That really applies. Another thing is, don't do 1000 themes (I exaggerated there!). In other words, don't do many different themes, and then try to make it all work. Try to find some dominant themes. Remember, it's not about writing the history of the deceased. It's not about recounting the details of their life. It is about the audience by just giving, you know one theme, one, maybe experience one angle that illustrates that this person is loved or this person is significant or this person deserves to be given to the Lord at a funeral That life is ending. Maybe there's something to gain from this moment. That's really what you’re here to do. you're not you don't want to overdo it and make this such an incredible message that, that allow, that is the best message I've ever heard. 

it is, what you're doing is lending some comfort, some encouragement to those who are grieving, never forget that. I don't like next to talk about the actual ceremony, the ceremony elements. Again, I want to say local customs apply. What I've seen is basically, the elements go like this, there's somehow a welcome and prayer. Whether you do the welcome or even you do the welcome, and then someone else does the prayer, you know, and that's just your elements, you may do the welcome, and we're welcome everybody, to George's funeral. I'd like to ask George's grandson, Jason to come up here and lead an opening prayer. it might be something like that we include some people. When you include people, be very careful to give them clear expectations of you know, how long something should be, you know, like, just give us a Jason just give a little prayer, again, also to is Jason somebody that wants to do this? Is Jason someone who's capable of doing this? Those are all factors while you're putting the ceremony together, then the reading of the official obituary, you can do this. Or you can have someone within the family do this. why is that so important? The official obituary was written by the family. first of all, it's important because the family is now in a sense on the stage; the writer of the obituary took a lot of time to put this together. You may say, well, just read the obituary. I've seen that too, where the obituary is not even mentioned, and that's fine. But there is something about grief, the stages of grief. At Christian Leaders Institute, we have a class that talks about the stages of grief in classes that talk about grief. But in a funeral message, the finality of an obituary is healthy for those who are grieving. have the obituary read by you or read by a family member. But remember, the obituary is a very important piece of a funeral ceremony. Then sharing of Scripture passages, these could be read by family members, you could read them. In the passages are those familiar passages were therefore now. there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Passages like Psalm 23, The Lord is my shepherd as someone one leads me through the shadow of death. Passages such a second Corinthians chapter, you know, for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us the glory that far outweighs them off, we fix our eyes, not on what is seen but what is unseen, for what is seen is temporary, what is unseen is eternal. After you do the ceremony, these many of the Bible passages will be memorized by you. Most times, the Holy Spirit we'll just put them in your mind. 

Even if they're read by someone from one of the loved ones of the deceased or something, you know, a line, we'll come back in the message or even sharing interpersonally at the funeral visitation and so forth afterwards or the brunch or if there's a you know, some coffee afterwards, whatever that is, you know, as you yourself. I guess what I'm saying is memorize some of these key passages, which really become very powerful in a ceremony. anyway, so you have the sharing of Scripture passages. Then in many traditions a song is very appropriate here a well loved hymn, Abide with Me, Amazing Grace, It Is Well with My Soul, or maybe a lot of times I've seen a song that isn't played on the sound system if there is one, and that's an opportunity, then after that is a good time for family or friend memorials. Many families want to do this, many families do not want to do this. Here's how that works in the interview process. When you're interviewing the closest one to the deceased, you you'll ask them, if they want anyone to share a memorial, anyone to share at the funeral? What I've seen is that they find a representative, you know, maybe suggested, would you like to represent the children to share a representative of the grandchildren to share? 

Would you like a representative of the community leader, a community leader to share so you have a representative? This is the person of impact I noticed that it works really well. In sometimes is, the grandchildren may read some of the Scripture passages, and then then a child will share something about dad, and then a community leader will share something about dad's impact. Now that's in like a very public type of funeral. I've also seen where what's shared is something that's written out. I would recommend that when someone's asked to share, and they asked you what do I do? What you'd say is write out about two, three and most five minutes of sharing. Now, here's why. Sometimes what happens is, somebody takes that opportunity, and then writes a funeral message. A funeral message goes long and then by the time you're ready to give a very prepared comment of the officiant. Everybody's tired. Now, somebody may say, well, you know, you're more worried about your ceremony and your message than worried about the family sharing in that can be somebody may say that, but what I have seen over the years, is that if one of the family members who is asked to give a memorial or a eulogy or something, turns it into a message, when it happened is that that message is often out of balance. It often goes into violating the principle of the audience violating the principle of biblical comfort or violating the theme of the light. What happens is the theme of the interviews, the process gets put into someone else's narrative. 

But that narrative is not considering the whole audience. you'll have somebody preach a message sort of, or their eulogy goes on for 15 minutes. It goes into something that actually creates more pain where my life with the deceased, in the audience is there and, you know, they're trying to share what's common to all of them, they're trying to grieve. Then the person does this individual grieving process, that he takes everybody at the funeral through. Now, it sounds like I'm being clinical or mean toward one person or something like that. I'm not. As an officiant, we want to keep it about the audience that's there, not one person in the audience. It does not mean that we don't respect that one person's journey. But what it means is that we're sensitive to the entire audience, that one person's reflection, this is the same for like you if you talk about yourself only, and your experience of the deceased, you're really not being sensitive to all who are there that are sharing that experience of comfort from the funeral. I make this big point to get back to this point is when asking someone to share a eulogy if that's the sort of what the family wants. As an officiant, give some guidelines: say, well, will you write out your comments? Will you share things that everyone can relate to in your thinking about the deceased and you're sharing good things? Be careful not to make it only about your own things. Remember, the audience includes a lot of people. generally, these are some of the best practices that you can pass on. Because in the end, you want the person giving the eulogy for the family member, or wherever you want them to be confident you want them to do, do some that they feel good about. I've seen, having decades of ministry experience, that when someone's left to just launch into their personal journey or preach another method, years later, that comes back as one of their regrets. in a lot of ways, you're coaching them, while not telling them, it can be a little bit dicey, as we call it. But you got the idea that you want to include others. Which is awesome. While making sure or trying to help the sermon go in such a way that it impacts everybody who's there. One more item, sometimes, when you're doing interviews, some of those say, why don't we just open the mic up, and people can walk up and say different things. That also runs the risk. I've seen that too, with family once and early in ministry, I was just all that sounds really nice. Let's do that. 

Let's try that. What happens is, somebody comes up, and shares something, and then somebody else shares something that's got to be better. All of sudden, somebody raises their hand, and then they go on for 15 minutes. After they go on for 15 minutes, somebody doesn't want to be outdone. We look at that, I looked back at it, and I created that because I basically put together the program. Now, I can say to myself, well, this is what they wanted, and therefore it's okay. But then what I've noticed when they wanted that, when the family wanted that for the interviews, and then I would do that we would go back. After the funeral, everybody's really tired and everything in somehow the family feels that you are responsible for letting that happen. They were just suggesting something. again, here's where leadership comes in. If somebody really wanted, then shares some of the risks, you know, well, we can open the mic. But here are some other risks. Maybe we want to open the mic at the reception later on. As a funeral let's keep it shorter, because some people are traveling in and they have work to do and so forth. But at the reception, we're more intimate, and we want to have a like at that time. I think I'm going on long in too long in this point. 

let me just move on to the next point. There may be a thought, then then your message. We've already talked about the message, and then the dismissal, which might include a few more scriptural passages. What usually happens, at least in the United States, is that the funeral director comes walking up, and they sort of have their funeral director dismissal and explain if there's going to be a graveside funeral. What happens next? That goes on to the next thing, then. Let's talk about the graveside, funeral ones. what does that look like? No, I have to say that local customs apply. I would if you're in a local area, see if things are done a little differently. I've observed and have done. These are the basic elements that go into the ones that I've been at, and the ones that I've shared, and the ones that I've researched. Most of the graveside ceremonies begin with a prayer. Actually, I'm going to back up a little bit and just talk about something. let's back up a little bit. the funeral is done. The dismissal the funeral director dismisses, and he will describe how you're going to get to the gravesite if there's a graveside ceremony. Now, I mentioned that there's different values on this that are occurring. sometimes there's cremation involved. There's not going to be a graveside service or there's going to be a graveside funeral later, or there's going to be an ash general etc. 

Personally, I just want to make a little plug. I hope that we keep graveside funerals. It is what we can do to bury bodies. I feel that that is a beautiful thing. What about the resurrection? I believe it's a beautiful teaching moment to what some parish believes in Hurtsville. I've got my little plug there. But I understand that, that God knows each person and I don't want to get into the controversy of whether cremation is the thing to do, or the graveside. I personally prefer that the biblical worldview is that we bury bodies, and that we look forward to the resurrection. Okay, I have had my little say about that here. let me go back to this other slide. when we go to the graveside, if that's the ways chosen, everybody kind of gathers around the casket, and then ultimately, the prayer. In this is usually something you alone as the officiant do. open in prayer, and then share a Scripture such as 1 Corinthians chapter 15:42- 44. it will be with the resurrection of the dead. The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable, it is sown in dishonor is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power is sown and the natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. here at the, at the graveside, everybody's there. I will do zero happy talk. We're all there. I won't even do much of I want to welcome you to the graveside funeral of so and so. We're all there to look around. I have my Bible with me. It's open to 1 Corinthians chapter 15. It's quiet. We hear the birds singing or it may be winter. We hear that. If it's a northern climate, we hear that cold when we hear trees it's quiet. If there's a rain or sprinkling rain, sometimes as if the tears of the Lord are there, and there's umbrellas. We hear the pitter patter of rain. We're solemn. We pray. Lord, we are here to commit our dear brother, our dear sister, their body to the grave pitter patter of rain or in a since what I'm saying is right there. There is a dramatic moment. No rushing. Let the Holy Spirit come in each person as you're praying. Lord, we ask you to fill us with your Holy Spirit right now. In Jesus name, amen. Then, look down. it will be with a resurrection of the dead. The body that is so perishable, it is raised imperishable is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness. It is raised in power. It is sown a natural body is raised a spiritual body. Then you look up. and in many traditions, they will say the Apostles' Creed right there. If you want that to happen, you might want to ask, you might want to mention as a family that you'd like to do that. If there's no objections, maybe you have the word on printed or a little card that the funeral director will pass out that might have the Apostles Creed on it and might have the Lord's Prayer which you're going to do a little later. Then, without much announcement, without much going on very little or no happy talk, say, let's profess, the Apostles Creed. I believe in God the Father, maker of the heaven and earth and have people repeat it with you. Now, you can also do, where they're just there and use the Apostles' Creed, they soak it in. I've seen both, I've done both. They're both are very powerful. the ones where people are just soaking in some of them know it by heart, and they say with you, others just listen, I would say what I prefer is that way, is that here are the words of the Apostles Creed. I believe in God the Father, maker of the heavens and earth, and in Jesus Christ, his only begotten Son, our Lord, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate was crucified, dead and buried. He descended to the grave. On the third day, he rose again from the dead, he is sitting on high, and seated at the right hand of God the Father, he will come to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Catholic Church. That's the whole universal church. the communion of saints, the resurrection of the dead and life everlasting. 

Now, you can have that written out and just read it. I've read it so many times, I practically have it memorized. If you do the memorization and you're misaligned, so what the idea is here at this graveside funeral, there, the power of our faith, our Christian faith, that even in death, here's our profession, our confession of faith. without any more comments, so do not do happy to hear what the comfort of the Apostles Creed is for us all as we grieve, you say that everybody's grieving, the comfort is there. Then as the body is lower, and in again, this is local customs, and, and so forth. We commit in the name, that person's George's body, to be sown is perishable. We await the Resurrection Day when his body will be raised from the dead, a spiritual body. Again, if this can be changed in different ways, but really pointed, and in some places, the body is not lower in the Bible, you buried later, but it's just a transition from the apostles creed, where it's very simple transition. Then conclusion after the transition. Let's share the Lord's Prayer. 

It might be that you just say, Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our debts or our trespasses or our sins as we forgive those who sin against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever, Amen. Now, know your tradition and in your interview, you might want to ask, do people all know the doxology to you know, people know Amazing Grace. Very familiar song, and this has been so powerful over the years, where the Lord's Prayer is spoken, and then after the Amen. Just start singing praise God from blessings flow when everybody starts singing and whether it's cold whether there's a pitter patter of rain, whether the birds are singing, beautiful day, praise Him all creatures here below. In that moment, the body may be lowered been waiting there for burial praise Him above the Heavenly Host, Father, Son and Holy, Amen. What happens next? Often people are in tears, they put flower on the casket or to take a flower and throw it down if the body of the lowered, and people one by one leave, and often the last people. 

Sometimes the spouse or the dear loved ones are the first that leave. Sometimes is the last to leave and then you are with them. then you might throw a flower down or look down at the capture look at the casket. What I do and when I do this, I just am so moved is also I will say, George till we meet again. Then I walk away and go back to where I'm supposed to go. People get back to their cars. What often happens somewhere along the line. Actually, I should really say this. After you sing that doxology are your last thing a lot of times the funeral director interview actually will come in there. I'm missing that little piece. Because the funeral directors, this concludes, he will say this concludes the graveside funeral or committal of the deceased and as the name, everybody's invited back to the church or to this restaurant or to someone's house for refreshments. They will say that there and then then go back to. Them they will leave and then that's when people put a flower on the casket or in the grave. That's where I might say, you know, till we see you again, George. Again, I missed that little point. But it's it will probably be there was zero director. this concludes the graveside funeral. Again, you know, it's just something to think about all these elements. I want to conclude by saying, you're going to do fine. 

and it doesn't have to be perfect. Don't worry about getting it perfect, you can't get it perfect. What's perfect is the way the Lord will show up. Your encouragement is to, to lead in a way that brings blessing to those who are grieving and glory and honor to the God of the universe. In your first one, you're going to learn things. If you do another one, another ceremony, another message, and you'll get experienced and over time, you'll see the blessing. as Christians, we don't fear death. When we grieve, we grieve with hope. When we lead a funeral, there is an underlying hope strength that's in our leadership. It's the hope strength is not to put on a show. But to be connected in connect everyone, to the God of the universe who raises the dead. as you do in officiate funerals, you do it in the hope of Jesus Christ, and I know that you'll do just fine as you are learning and growing and leading others into the hope of Jesus Christ.