Transcript: Types of Confession Ceremonies

In our last presentation, we talked about how there's a ceremonial aspect to confession. Today we're talking about the types of confession ceremonies. Now, we're going to refer back to some of the Bible passages. This is more how to do, how to take it to that next level, as a Christian officiant minister, so whether you're a licensed ordained through this, this is, in some ways, one of the most gratifying things to do is to have a little ceremonies of confession. let's get started. 

Now, the first thing I want to do is be real clear again, the connection of confession to ongoing confessing, confessing faith in Jesus, that we are not the God of our lives, we confess that we have offended God, and we confess our sins, I find that fascinating. We need a savior to forgive our past, present and future, the blood of Jesus is enough. confessing faith, his confession in Jesus, that we are not the God of our own lives, that we bow our knee to Him, who is Lord. That is enough, our past sins our present sins are forgiven. In order to really get at this, so let's look at the role of sin in our lives. Then we're going to bring that into our officiating service to others. First of all, we all set for 1 John 1:8. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. We also let it be very clear that no one can stand apart from that truth. Number two, we need to confess our sins to unburden our souls. 1 John 1:9-10 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 

If we say we haven't sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us. we all sin. We need to confess our sins. We're not confessing to get a better standing with God; we have no standing. This is for us. We need to unburden people that we ministered to who need to unburden themselves from the heavy-laden pain, hurt, bitterness of sin. Number three, God allows us to continue to struggle with sin, even though our sin is covered by the blood of Jesus Christ. Romans 7:23-25, the apostle Paul says, but I see a different one than members, warring against the law in my mind and bringing me into captivity, or the law of sin which is in my members. What a wretched man, I am! Who will deliver me out of the body of the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Paul said also in Romans seven that good I want to do this I do not do. the reality is, is God still allows ministers, believers, to struggle with the next truth. The thorns that struggle with sin, keep us humble, so we can love and reach others. The apostle Paul continues to write in 2 Corinthians 12, seven through nine, by reasonably exceeding greatness of the revelations that should not be exalted excessively. 

There was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, that I should not be exalted excessively. Concerning this thing. I begged the Lord three times that I might depart from me. He said to me, my grace sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I would rather glory in my weakness, that the power of Christ may rest in me. I find this to be incredibly encouraging that we sin. We continue to send even after we're believers at all ministers, like unison is frustrating. I wish I can be perfect; I wish you can be perfect on one level. But then in the fourth one, we see the thorns keep us humble. I can see what happened to the Pharisees. In my imagination, as I interpret the Pharisees. I believe that they lost the fact that the brokenness of their sin was truly there. They, you know, were deceiving themselves. Then they would start becoming like self-righteous, because, you know, they thought, I'm better than that person. They will start justifying themselves in all of these things. The more justification occurs, the more you put yourself higher than somebody else. God in His sovereignty, mercy. 

Imagine a place where, even though we are fully redeemed, sins still have a role in our life, and must be dealt with, we are still going to be tempted. But tempter is was passed down to the earth and allowed to continue, though he is weakened. He's still a demon, seeking to tempt, to kill, to destroy, and I am that target. It's not, ‘the devil made me do it.’ Only if I, in my rebellious sinful nature, have done it, and will continue to do it. The more I grow in my relationship with God, the more I see the truth about me. I realized desperately I need a savior. confession is a regular need in relation to God. In relation to the other seven connections of our lives, with myself, with my spouse in that relationship with my family. I think about family, you know, as we have adult children, to be able to show them that we're wrong, that you know, I'm sorry, I was wrong, in relationship to her friends, relationships, church, and work associates and in other people, and even when we're witnessing people who are seeking God to see that we are so perfect, and we never do something wrong. It's actually discouraging. I find it fascinating that a lot of people talk about showing people your best foot forward, and don't show your dirty laundry, or you could hurt your witness. 

We have to think about that a little bit. I've observed that when I give off phony baloney, it's not true. I am pretending I have got it all figured out. I don't need to stay here. I'm never going to confess my struggles because I don't want them to think I'm struggling. It hurts my witness, and I've seen it. But when I am a transparent person in Hey, I struggle with that sometimes. Yeah, you know this, I see how God has helped me and that has been something I'm still being helped on. If I, you know, say something that wronged someone, especially unbeliever was a good witness is to go to the unbeliever and ask for forgiveness and say, you know, I was convicted in my purse last night that I offended you. Oh, no. No, I just want to ask for forgiveness. That's powerful. Because what they're seeing is that you have a confessional part of them. You're confessing for wanting to learn. In you're okay with that. You're doing a security. You confess to the Lord, that he's your Savior and Lord and now you confess to him your sins, you know, you're in a process of major change, and that's changing your game.

As I mature, and get more experienced in ministry, I do realize that the church has a role in the ceremonies of confession. when I grew up in Wisconsin, in our church, every single week, in the service, we were a Protestant church that broke away from the Catholic Church, in the Dutch culture so well as part of the Christian reformers. We had a little ceremony in every service and a little ceremony was called confession. In the prayer of confession, in the assurance of pardon, my entire childhood, we went through those steps. I found that every week I was reminded to look honestly, just like the 12-step program, to look honestly at your life. Then there was always encouragement to make amends. In fact, when we would do communion, once a quarter, there is a section of do you have to make amends to anybody. But there was always that you are a sinner, in need of the grace of God. Now, confessing didn't make me get grace more than the guy who didn't confess that day, but it what it did was it allowed me to continue to be unburdened. 

Also, knowing simultaneously, and the ministers were very clear about it, that we still are fallen. Without Christ, we cannot get up. We are broken. when we think about confession as ceremony, in the church, I grew up, they had that ceremony every week. No, they the Reformation church, split from the Catholic Church, and they had, yes, they had some ceremony of this in their liturgy on Sunday. But they also had the confession booth, and I've met many believers, Catholics, who have just been so blessed. They'll tell me their stories about how it inverted their soul in the confession. But I've also heard people that for them is just a ritual, they are forced to go there. They don't want to confess anything, but they're forced to go so they will go, you know, Father, forgive me for I have sinned. It's been two years since my last confession. They'll say the whole time just didn't mean anything. but the fact that the Bible is so insistent on confession, and it was made into ceremonies in the Catholic Church, and still is to this day, in many Protestant churches, there's a ceremony of it. I actually believe that ceremony of confession comes in many worship songs, where the authors talk about their sin and ask God to forgive their sins, you know, that acts prayer is adoration, confession, thanksgiving, and supplication. 

you'll see that woven in on different elements of service. In the communion services, you'll see it woven in and confession is vitally important. I believe as an officiant, you bring confession to those that God is calling you to serve. In some ways, you bring a confession booth ceremony, when you bring a one on one personal confession the ceremony to someone is like the one on one booth, and I'm using the confession that you find the Catholic church as sort of a metaphor here. Why call it a booth, with a confession of the confessional the booth creates a clear indication of the confidentiality nature of the discussion with the ordained minister. I'm going to talk about why that's so important later. when someone goes into that booth is a clergy parishioner privilege. That whatever is said in that booth stays in that booth. let's talk now about the steps on how to bring a personal confession ceremony as an officiant when asked to do so. 

the counseling profession is booming in America and worldwide. The Christian counseling profession will see confession that's operating. But in many, it's about finding those harms and those hurts from your childhood. It almost becomes, we are going to make you really good at blaming someone else. Now, I'm not judgmental of counseling or therapy. I'm talking over three decades of experience. Many times, somebody will come in, they have seen one counselor after another, and they have not seen the wrongs in their own life and are not taking responsibility. the narrative that offered here will be like, well, I before I can take responsibility after really unpack what was done to me. I think that's all important, all the unpacking. I've noticed a lot of times when they come to you, the Minister, they're looking for a different option. They're not looking for more therapy, they're looking for, what does God have to say to me about my situations, my bitterness, my lack of forgiveness. What is it, and I find that many times their soul is burdened. it could be from something from his from holding on a bitterness, or it could be something they did. They've never really just let it go. 

if you in the relationship, whether it's online, or whether it's, you know, in meeting with them talking on the phone, or by zoom, or add in a personal encounter one on one, in a sense, you bring a ceremony, a confessional booth, like the biblical understanding of confession, confess our sins to one another, that you may be healed type of thing to people. let's talk about the steps. Step one, the personal confession ceremony. What I do when talking to someone, and I'll say, you know, as an ordained minister in a deemed officiant or as a licensed minister, one of the things I asked people who see me, is there anything you want to unburden? Do you feel bad about anything in your relationship to God or others? Sometimes people want to know, like, well, what do you mean by that? Let me share some Bible passages with you. Now, many people know the Bible passages raised their Christians, but I'm surprised as some people want to know, what are you talking about? You can quote Psalm 32:4-6 today now, as I said to you, and did not cover up my iniquity, I said, I will confess my transgression to the Lord and you forgave the guilt of my sin. 

I say, in the Bible, Bible characters, have done some pretty rotten things and the Bible is honest about them. This is a perfect one about David sitting with Bathsheba. You can talk about them. Usually somebody thinks like, well, why is David's such a great man of faith, and when he sinned like this with the Bathsheba, and I always say, it's great, the Bible's honest about that. I'm glad that we see that somebody who made it with God was someone who had a conscience and someone who felt bad about their sin and humbled themselves and unburden themselves, so they can be right with God. yes, there was still restitution. There was still punishment. David lost a baby. All of those things still occurred. But there's something powerful about the unburdening. my wife and I have watched Father Brown mysteries, we've even bought the CD pact and I always love that BBC portrayal that was created by based on stories by G.K. Chesterton. 

 I just love that when Father Brown says, you know, would you like to unburden your soul and, and they have a confession booth in there. That's something I really have seen in with talking to some Godly Catholics about what confession has done for them to turn the story of their life much better. I have seen those examples. It's fascinating. It really is about acknowledging your sin that you need a savior. I am fascinated by how people get interested in this subject. what I would also do is then say, okay, so there's also Psalm 38:17, for I'm about to fall in my pain is ever with me, I confess my iniquity and troubled by my sin, and I talked about how these are some of the passages in the Bible. The Bible is one to really encourage people to unburden themselves, like in Hebrews 12:15, see to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble in the file many, too many live with so much bitterness. There's something about confession that helps people get over their bitterness. Or, 1 Corinthians 6:6-8, but instead, one brother takes another to court, and this in front of unbelievers! The very fact that you have lost its among you means you have they completely defeated already? Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourself, cheat and do wrong. You do this to your brother? I just see that. people will come to you and they are. They're hated their brother. 1 John 4:20. If a man says I love God, but hates his brother, he is a liar. For he who doesn't love his brother, whom he has seen, how can he love God, whom he has not seen? Often, in step one, what we're doing is we're just asking the question, like when somebody says, would you like to know what it's like to be a believer in Christ so you give them the gospel. I signed and I found that as an officiant as a minister. I'll talk to people and sometimes I just help you, I am a minister, is there anything you want to unburden yourself about your total confidence? 

What does that mean? I will state what is in the law that often they don't know about? Let's go back to step one, that personal confession ceremony. Is there anything you want to unburden? Do you feel bad about anything in relation to God or others? I often those days and I didn't mention this before, but I'll state it again, as a licensed ordained minister, with in the state and you say Christian Leaders Alliance or Christian Leaders Church Domination, I pledge myself to confidentiality. The clergy confidentiality, privilege applies to this conversation. I have reporting requirements for those abusing children. Is there anything you want to unburden? Do you feel bad about anything in your relationship to God? The states have child abuse reporting in most states, and you probably to check your own government about reporting suspicion of child abuse. Now, what I found is no one has ever, ever unburdened their soul inside that they did that to anyone, and unless they were convicted of it, and they wanted to unburden themselves before they went to prison, or you know, so I find that that could happen, but know that there are laws about that. 

The other thing that this communicates in step one, is that this is a safe place for healing of the cancer of sin. As an ordained minister, you're not going to break confidentiality, you're not going to tell anybody about what was said. Now when you read the fine print about these laws, and I have a writing from an insurance company, A.G. that really gets into this, because they insure ministers, you know, you can read that for yourself. like, for instance, you hold your confidentiality, and then the person who confess you start sharing what they have done? Yes, that breaks that relationship. Look at those details like that, but you will not be called to testify because of that clergy privilege, on confidentiality privilege. This is a very serious thing in this ceremony, and these steps of confession. Now, if somebody and I find it really interesting, Hey, would you like to unburden yourself to anybody you know, as a minister, or dating minister, I am clergy client privilege here, and I promise confidentiality. I would hold to that. Are you interested in talking to me about this? Again, I would go to step one would be to, you know, give that I really just show you that again. If Is there anything you want unburdened? You feel bad about anything in relation to God or others, also stated or licensed or the ministry, I pledge myself to confidentiality? 

The clergy confidentiality privilege applies to this conversation. I would say, that's something really to keep in mind too, is this conversation, the clergy confidence, the privilege does not apply to casual conversations and observations. It's when you ask this question, is there anything you want to unburden? Again, it's like, you're in a confessional booth, there's a boundary that is created here. Again, I can't say this enough. It doesn't apply to every conversation, but it applies the ceremony, the official conversation, the confession booth moment. Again, you will be surprised when people know that you're licensed, ordained, and then trained, you know, if you just get the ordination in the mail, that's just like $150, you will not be respected. But if someone knows that you've gone to ministry school, that you've taken classes, that you are licensed, ordained, as a minister, it's totally different in again, I am surprised, just surprised at how many people I say, do you want to unburden yourself? I am surprised at how many people have said, Yes. Do you want to confess or reveal to unburden yourself? They say yes. what do you do then? Hear the confession, listen, do not interrupt, or try to do counseling, pastoring or life coaching. 

Do not come judgmental with size and such, you know, they may say something but try not to respond unless it's to a question. Just listen, and if there's a question to ask, do it extremely nonjudgmentally. When did you first do this? Again, be very careful about that, in fact, that I almost felt I was judgmental. Here, a lot of ways what over the years I've learned is let them talk their unburdening their soul. They don't need your help in doing that. Now, I have done this with an instant bless, I'll say, Would you like me to get to the bottom of this confession more? Or would you just like me to listen to what you have to say? God will be hearing it to, and this is an official unburdening of this sin, or this struggle. step one is to ask the question. If the answer is yes, then you can go to step two. Now, if the answer is no, you're pretty much done. Move on. one more thing, if you ask them if they would like to unburden, they go, no. Move on to the next subject, natural and informally. Now what is also going to become out, I guess, make those plans for interesting to unseen this, is that once people know that you officiate confessions, like you know, says in the Bible, confess your sins to one another and be healed for a righteous man. 

said that as an ordained minister, prayer is effective, the once people find out, people will not tell what they unburdened, but they tell how much better they felt. You might have people just come calling me up and saying, you know, I just really feel a burden. I'd like to meet with you, Pastor be with you. Talk about some of these things and word spreads, is one of the minister roles that you have been ordained to participate with. step two, the prayers. let's say they send in offending God. I would do something like this. Lord, George has confessed that he has just taken your name in vain, so much, and used words, and really, he has a problem with you. He realized that he wants to confess that he's offended you. we're asking you to hear his confession, and then say, George is with you, George repeat after me, George says, Lord I've sinned against you, and then George says, Lord, I sinned against you, forgive my sins. George says, forgive my sins, that you need to be specific here, forgive my sin of taking your name in vain. Then he says, taking your name in vain. I claim your forgiveness in one on the cross. George, I claim your units were on the cross. I promise to surrender my life. I promise to surrender my life, in this area of brokenness, in this area of brokenness, fill me with your Holy Spirit, in Jesus name, Amen. 

In a lot of ways, it's like a wedding vow. as an officiant, you're asking people to do a wedding vow, that's a ceremony, you're asking someone to do a confession vow here. people say, well, is confession, something that you do all the time, all the time all the time, like, once upon a time in the Catholic Church, that was a practice. I'm not going to speak to that. To some people, less is better, or more than to maybe other people more and better. I know that growing up, when the pastor do that every week, I found it helpful to keep in mind mindful of my sinfulness and mindful of my asking God to help me and, you know, in you might find that your officiant minister practice in this area may continue to grow. let's say someone confesses to offending others. here's a prayer that you might go with them. Lord, Bob has confessed that he has harmed Jack, then repeat after me Lord, I've sinned against you and Jack, please forgive my sin. Be specific, and it's that basic summer, I claim your forgiveness one on the cross, I promise to surrender my life in this area, and help people repeat that. Nothing sometimes you will confess that they have a hard time forgiving someone else. In another previous presentation, I talked more about this. 

But here's the prayer just written down. Prayer about forgiving someone and holding on to the offense, or bitterness. Lord, Susan has confessed that she is burdened by bitterness or offensive done to her. Then say, Susan, repeat after me, Lord, I feel that I've been sinned against, did I've been honest, you know, by Jessica, please help me forgive her, as I am forgiven. I claim the forgiveness you won on the cross helped me to forgive I promise to surrender my life in this area of brokenness. Fill me with the Holy Spirit in Jesus name, Amen. you could apply that basic format to a lot of different situations. step two, in this sort of takes it beyond the confession, the personal confession booth, sort of speak. Are they open to a plan to follow up? Have a life coach ministerial have a conversation with someone who feels that he or she should make amends to anyone. Does the penitence of this ceremony or conversation elicit a letter, an email a phone call? You may want to coach this. that more offenses are not created. my experience with this is that when somebody confesses, they feel so great. Then sometimes it's short lived because there's a response and the response brings more harm. I'll give you some examples of that. 

Okay, so George comes in and confess that he's looked at pornography. he confesses this and he unburden himself. Then he right away, goes to his wife and talks about this, and, and she takes offense, and next thing, you know, they're divorced. Okay, now, in three decades, I've seen this. instead, I've learned over the years, as George comes, he confesses to struggle with pornography. We go through prayer of confession. Then a faithful George, you know, what do I do now? What do you want to do about this? Is this done now? Are you on a different path? Do you have an open relationship with your wife on subjects like this? George says: yeah, you know I confess to her in the past, and she's really glad that I'm coming to see you, and just kind of get, you know, great. But if it's something that would bring harm to their marriage and their family, there might be some other steps. I would, today, encourage George to not go blurting out, hey, I went to see the Minister and, you know, I confess that I did this. I'm just going to tell you now. Maybe that needs another conversation. Maybe we need to get into the dynamics thing, do some life coaching, maybe did some distance with the habits not occurring for life coaching on this area. 

I think I was at the school and I think I was in the school. That was everything on the open, but I've come to realize that I'm in you may disagree with this. Okay. This isn't just like pornography. It's like so many things. That the role of a minister was about unburdening and the shift that reprint repentance was bringing along and is not my work to get activist after repentance occurred. Try to say, Okay, now that you've repented this pornography and go talk to your wife, Bob, and confess to her, I'm more and more of a school like, you know, George, congratulations for repenting this. We're going to pray the Lord heals you have this and that. Maybe your plan is to, you know, find some more accountability in your life. Maybe, and I know, in the case of pornography is always good that men have accountability partners. I do measure that accountability partners. Things like pornography should be more and more aware all the time. To say that men or women don't start with things like pornography isn't that realistic is better to have that freedom of unburdening and that growth or sanctification in that place where people are growing without getting shamed and all of those things, and that's the really confession type of things were already saved. We are already, free, and we confess to be more and more like Christ. 

Now, this can go in a lot of different subjects that are hard subjects where somebody comes in and they confess to anger and malice and they confess to all sorts of things. Then when it is time to deal with the plan. Be careful about that plan. Because in some ways that plan can create all sorts of new wrongs. I've seen that in the AA (Alcohol Anonymous) program sometimes where somebody who's an alcoholic, you know, does the 12 step program, and in this one area, makes amends for harm that was caused through that through alcohol, but it comes off like alcohol made me do it. But then often, what still true in our lives, is they're angry. They snap from one area. they I confessed in there coming clean this one area. again, it's like when the plan is made to help people to realize that, you know, there's a thorn in your flesh, in my flesh, and you are on a road. That road is changing everything for you, you are unburdening your soul. as a life coach, what do you want to do about it? Does the penitence of the ceremony of conversation elicit responses letter phone call or email, you still want to be very careful to coach so that more offense is not created. 

Then what about follow up? Ask your penitence believer if they want you to follow up with them on this matter or not, do not take upon yourself to do this unsolicited ministry in this area is usually not welcome. what I find is that confession is a powerful necessity for people. It really does help them in the more open, that they can become with God, about the truth of their sin, and even their spouse or other people that better. Not every spouse relationship is that open right away, and there's sensitivity there. But from that one on one perspective, your goal is to help them unburden their sin and be refreshed. If someone is faithful to confess, God is faithful, and just and will forgive someone their sin. Now in general, I would conclude by saying a couple more things. In general, the Bible says to confess your sin to God. this is not replacing someone who's doing that. Second, I'm not endorsing any one ceremony. 

I'm not saying that you do a Catholic booth. But the metaphor of a clear boundary is so clear that it is this is a confidential place. I think that that piece is very important. Three, be very careful as a minister to don't do that I found it syndrome here in this area, where you will see when some people unburden how it changes some people's lives. If you're not careful, you can start promoting this all the time. People will be like. What's he doing? I don't understand what she's doing here. instead be one who is kind of in your conversation. Like, hey, where's your honor minister, if you ever want to talk about anything and burden yourself, we can have a low confidence conversation, not a little prayer that you can say, to ask God's forgiveness to a certain area. Oh, really? I just might do that. and what happens is, many people do it. Because they have things to be unburdened, they're things that need to be unburdened. They have confession that needs to occur in a long time, since they had a confession, where they're speaking from their soul and there is something you know, when we confess our faith, it says to confess, in public, when we confess our sin, this is very private, but still public while the person is there. That person is a representative of God through ordained leader. 

My final words on this is, personally be careful, but know that people carry a lot of burdens. As a minister, you can help them be more and more free, of the freedom of Christ, the living in the grace, living in the hope, more and more when someone's unburdened, it does change things. I encourage you to study this. Or remember that passage in Galatians if someone's cognizant in Galatians one read that, and maybe after this presentation, read that passage of someone's cognizant be gentle. When someone confesses, be gentle, be encouraging, encourage them, say, you know, awesome, what an awesome thing that you came to give to the Lord in the formal way, your desire to live for God. He is faithful and just and will forgive you as he has forgiven you completely for the blood of Jesus.