Transcript: Forgiving and Restoring (David Feddes)

Video Transcript: Forgiving and Restoring (David Feddes)

Hi, I'm David Feddes. And this talk is about forgiving, and restoring. When I was just about finished preparing this talk, I received an email from someone who's been a friend for a long time, and who was part of a church that I ministered in years ago. I'll just call her Amy. She's given me permission to share this letter. She writes, good morning, Dave, my dad passed away Thursday morning after a week of pain and suffering because of a fall. And when you hear the news of a father passing away, that, of course, is a hard thing for people to bear. But this was a little different. Her father years earlier, had severely abused her physically. And it also abused her sexually. When I got to know her, she was in her early 30s. She was a very competent professional, in, in medicine, and from the outside, look to have it all together. But she was really struggling, she was struggling with addiction. She was struggling with depression. 

One time I went out to the cemetery where she was with razor blades, considering slashing her wrists, she was in really bad shape. And through all of that, the Lord worked in her life, and set her free from her addiction and gave her sobriety and also helped her to start facing up to some of the things that had happened to her. At any rate, that's the kind of father that she had the kind of father who had just passed away. And years later, he began to slip into dementia and to lose part of his memory. At any rate, Amy writes, I promised my mom that I would take care of him, never knowing how God would use that promise to bring healing and restoration to my heart, because her mom had died more than six years ago. And before her mom died, she said, Okay, I'll take care of him. They knew his mind was slipping. Over the six and a half years since mom passed, I've taken care of him done my best to do what was for his best. And through that God has caused a softening of my heart toward him. He brought healing to that relationship. So the kindness she sewed to her father, who had not been kind to her, really brought healing to her own heart to a considerable degree through those years. 

Then a week ago, last Saturday morning, I just finished feeding my dad has breakfast through breakfast, he had his eyes closed, but would respond with a yes or no. Then suddenly, he opened his eyes looked at me and said, You're Amy. I responded, yes, he took my hand looks straight at me and said, I'm sorry, Amy. She writes, Dave, you know how I struggled. But in that moment, the healing in my relationship with him was complete. Those simple words covered a multitude of sins, wrongs committed. And God released me to finally truly love him as my dad. I've apologized to him many times over the years for my actions and behaviors, but never had he done the same. This was the only apology I'd ever gotten. I cannot know for certain what my dad's intent was. But God used those words, to bring completeness. So somehow this old man whose mind had slipped away, in his last days, God gave him the ability to recognize his daughter again. And to say he was sorry. She says, while I was with him, in that week, before he died, I was putting up some Christmas cards again, he appeared to be sleeping. He moaned out and I asked what was wrong. 

His response was, I am so lonely. And I saw my dad and his entire humanity. And I knew two things. First, I will do whatever it takes to mend relationships, so that I don't end up that alone person that he was. And second, I'm blessed beyond words that the Lord has filled my life with friends and family that I can love and be loved by. Remember our first meeting Dave, she writes, I'd lost my best friend and my grandpa, the two people who I had allowed in to my life. Never did I foresee that the Lord blessed me so greatly with such a multitude of people who are in our Lord has given me many great gifts and blessings over the years that I've experienced what I've experienced this week or two of the largest and the greatest. I turned 62 weeks ago. Next week, I celebrate 29 years in recovery. I'm humbled that my life is worth the Lord's time and attention. So that's someone who endured great sin, and the great sorrow at the hands of her father and found the Lord restoring her life through the power of forgiveness. 

Scripture says Get rid of all bitter rage and anger, brawling and slander along with every form of malice be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other. Just as in Christ. God forgave you. When we're forgiven by the Lord, because of the blood of his cross, then the power of forgiveness becomes the way that we deal with others as well. No matter how severe and terrible the sin against us may have been. And when we forgive, we're seeking restoration to forgive another means to cancel the debt of what is owed, in order to provide a door of opportunity for repentance, and restoration of the broken relationship. Forgiveness isn't just an emotional transaction within me, but it's also a desire for a relationship to become what it ought to be, and to give the other person a chance to repent. As we think about forgiveness, I want to highlight three things. They're also kind of highlighted by Dr. Dan Allander. In his books, first forgiveness involves wanting restoration. It involves revoking revenge and not seeking to punish the other. And it involves pursuing goodness and pursuing goodness positively and actively. And we'll see what that means. 

First of all, forgiveness involves wanting restoration. And that's not the same as just saying, oh, we're going to get along just fine. We're going to have reunion with a wicked person in a warped relationship. No, that's not what it means to want restoration to forgive. You want the offender to be restored, and you want the relationship to be restored. And you want that to happen in the right way you want the offender to be repentant, and restored in God's image to become the kind of person he or she was meant to be. And you want the relationship restored to a relationship of healthy love and respect for one another. So when you talk about forgiving and restoring that's not saying Oh, yeah, I'm just going to keep on getting along fine with the person is wicked and unrepentant and twisted as they are. And even if our relationship is really sick, and there's some really dysfunctional things going on, forgiveness means just, it's okay. No, it means you want restoration of the person who they ought to be and restoration of the relationship to who to the way it ought to be. And not just going on with business as usual with a wicked person in a work relationship. 

Forgiveness can sometimes be twisted and let me just mention a few of the ways that forgiveness can be twisted. First, you have the Exaggerator, everything that irritates me is a huge sin, a major sin for me to forgive. And so if you're a person who squeezes the toothpaste tube in the middle, and not someone who squeezes it from the bottom as it ought to be, then you're sitting and I need to forgive you are if you're one of those depraved people who puts the toilet paper on backward, and it comes out behind the roll instead of in front of the roll as all right thinking people would have it, then I need to forgive you for doing such a wicked and irritating thing. Well, I'm exaggerating a little bit, but that's how exaggerator is operate. Anything you do that they find a little bit offensive is a big, big sin that you're doing to deliberately anger them and you're wrong and they will forgive you. But it's going to take tremendous power to forgive. Don't be an exaggerator who makes a mountain out of a molehill. Then you have the superstar and the superstar is ready to forgive. 

Others are always wrong, and they must admit how wrong they are. I'm always right. And I am superb at forgiving if you beg me. If you bow on the ground and kiss my feet while I'll be happy to forgive you. Since you're always wrong, just make sure you apologized properly, and then I'll be the one who forgives. And so you have the superstars of forgiveness, who've never learned to say I'm sorry, or I'm wrong. Then there's the manipulator who uses forgiveness as a way to just keep on getting his way or keep on hurting people. My job is to keep hurting you and your job is to keep forgiving me maybe they're even religious, and they'll quote you some verses about forgiveness and how you owe it to them to forgive them. And then they proceed with business as usual and never seek to change and are never truly sorry. And if you're living with a manipulator sometimes you might be tempted to become a doormat where I'm too weak. I'm afraid to insist that you repent and change so I forgive. I just keep putting up with all kinds of horrible stuff. Because I'm afraid that if I stood up and urged you to repent or told you, you were wrong, it might ruin the relationship or you might harm me. And so I'll be your doormat and allow you to get continue being the manipulator. 

That's not real forgiveness. All of these are very self centered. The exaggerator is thinking only of his opinions of what needs to be forgiven and what's right. The superstar thinks he's always right. The manipulator thinks I'm in charge, I get to do what I want, you got to put up with it and forgive it. And the doormat is self centered too, because he or she is afraid of what might happen. If you actually stood up for yourself, developed a backbone and insisted that some things need to change. These are not real, healthy forgiveness. These are ways of twisting forgiveness. Forgiveness is an invitation to reconciliation. It's not the blind, cheap, granting of it and say, Oh, yeah, we're gonna get along fine. It's an invitation to restore the relationship. But some things may need to change before it can really be restored. Forgiveness involves a heart that cancels the debt, but does not lend new money until repentance occurs. The other person, if it's a real sin does need to repent or the relationship can't really be healthy and be restored. So forgiveness is a willingness not to hold things against others, and at the same time, realizing that the relationship can't truly be restored until they repent. So forgiveness is wanting restoration. And then it's revoking revenge. 

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. If it's possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Now, sometimes, it's not just depending on you, but to the degree that it depends on you live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge. My friends, here's the revoking revenge part, do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, as it is written in his mind to avenge I will repay says the Lord. On the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him, if he's thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil, with good. Don't take revenge. That doesn't mean vengeance is a bad thing. It's a good thing. Vengeance is something that God Himself does. So vengeance is a good thing. In some circumstances. It is not right, that evil should continue to increase, that evil should be committed, and that there are no consequences whatsoever for it. It's good when evil gets punished. But it's not the best thing. Salvation is even better than vengeance. God has two ways of getting rid of enemies. One of them is to destroy them. 

The other is to turn them into his friends. And so we shouldn't be in a hurry to get the vengeance because perhaps God's plan for that person is not so much the vengeance as the salvation. We revoke revenge, now is not the right time for it. I'm going to wait patiently for judgment day. And I'm not the right judge. God is the final judge. And earthly punishment is the task of the proper authority. So if you're a child in a family, it's not your job to punish your siblings when you're mad at them. That's mom and dad's job. When you're a citizen in society, it's not your job as a vigilante to get back at somebody and harm them. That's the job of the proper authorities. Because of ourselves, our desire for revenge usually gets carried away. We're self centered. And we don't have a really good perspective on the seriousness of the harm. And we don't have a good way of limiting the harm within just balance when we're just following our own temper and getting our own revenge. So now's not the time, and I'm not the judge. I'm going to leave it to God, leave room for God's wrath, as the apostle says, and don't take revenge yourself. 

And all of this comes in line with the fact that the Bible says that we relate to God and to other people in the terms of a package policy. I'll tell you what I mean, or what Jesus means. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. People who show mercy to others are shown mercy by God. Or as Jesus said, do not judge her you to will be judged for the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Jesus says, If you forgive men, when they sinned against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your father will not forgive your sins. Jesus made that point in his unforgettable story about a servant who owed a king a vast, vast amount of money, unbelievable amount of money that he could never pay back. And the king cancel the debt and let him go. And then that man went out and grabbed somebody by the throat who owed him only a little bit and demanded that he paid right away. Well, when the king found out about it, he had the guy arrested and said, You're not getting out of prison until you've paid the last penny. Because I had mercy on you, you should have had mercy on your fellow servant. Jesus is saying that forgiveness is a package policy. You cannot choose grace as God's policy toward you, but grudges as your policy toward others, you have just two options, two choices. 

You can live under a policy where all debts are canceled, and all sins are forgiven, where God forgives all your debts and cancels all your sins. Or you can live under a policy where no debts are canceled, and nothing is forgiven. But you can't say Lord, I want you to deal with me and grace and forgive all my sins and cancel all my debts. But I want revenge against those who have sinned against me, and who owe me. Can't do that. Jesus says it's a package policy. If you want forgiveness from God, be forgiving towards others. You might remember the story of Jonah in the Bible, where he disobeyed God. And then he is in a great storm at sea is thrown into the sea, swallowed by a great fish. And from the belly of the fish, he prays to God for mercy. And he praises God that he's a God of grace. And the fish spits him out on the shore, and he's safe again. And Jonah is praising God for His grace. But then God forgives the city of Nineveh, which Jonah hates. And when God forgives Nineveh and shows them grace, Jonah says, I am so angry, I could die. 

He praises God, when he receives grace. He is furious with God, when God forgives the city that he hates. And God teaches Jonah a lesson. We need to learn that lesson. It's a it's a package policy. We if we want to relate to God, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, abounding in steadfast love, then God calls us to be people who are merciful and full of steadfast love and quick to forgive. When we think about forgiveness, we need to also deal with some ways of misunderstanding it. forgiving is not forgetting. And it's not being totally free of pain and anger. Sometimes people say well, if you really forgave you would not remember even that offense anymore, because God says I will remember their sins no more. Well, what does God mean when he says he will not remember people's sins anymore? Does that mean God trashes his omniscience, his all knowing nature that he no longer knows what people did? Of course not. God always knows every sin that was ever committed, he doesn't push a button and forget them all. It's just that he doesn't remember them against us, or remember them in a way that he intends to punish us for them. 

But he doesn't forget them in the literal sense of not having them in his memory anymore. And when we forgive, we're going to continue to remember things that were wrong sometimes. And we shouldn't feel guilty that it's still in our memory because we have a memory. And it also doesn't mean even being free of negative emotions, being free of pain, being free of anger about the wrong that was committed, you might forgive somebody and still feel some of the pain of the hurt that was caused, you might still feel a bit angry about what happened. Another thing to keep in mind, forgiving a serious wrong is not just a one time event, but it's a process. So it might be a one time event that Lord, I forgive them, I'm determined to keep forgiving. And there may be a decisive moment like that. But it's also an unfolding process. Because again, and again, something may come to memory or we may feel the impact of someone sin if it was a really damaging thing to us, we may feel it again and again. And then it's a process to keep on forgiving that CS Lewis said when Jesus said to forgive 70 times seven, he might not just mean forgiving 490 different sins, he may mean forgiving the same thing 490 times because it comes back to us again and we need to let go of it and forgive it all over again. And sometimes just at a at a an emotional level as harm is more fully faced. 

It takes deeper forgiveness to overcome. My friend Amy whom I mentioned earlier, when her father had committed those sins against her as a child, she didn't fully realize the damage it had done. She was in her 30s by the time she realized how much of a wreck had made of some of her relationships how she had become addicted as kind of reaction to things that had happened to her earlier. And when all of that happened, she really needed to fully face the harm that had been done and then to forgive it all over again. So, sometimes we move into deeper levels of forgiveness as we move into deeper levels of understanding or experience of the harm that was done. So forgiving is not just snap your fingers, it's all over. Now, I'm going to pretend that it's not an issue anymore. Sometimes even when you forgive, it still is kind of an issue. And you have to forgive more and more deeply and keep dealing with it as a process. What are the benefits of forgiving? Well, one benefit is that it deepens your experience of mercy, assurance of God's forgiveness of you grows, as you forgive others. 

If someone sins against you in a really serious way, and you have grace to forgive them, then you realize a fresh, how great God's grace is towards you, and that he has forgiven you great sins, if you have to forgive somebody, something that they repeat again and again, because it's been a harmful habit and, and they're fighting against it, maybe, but they've still done it again and again, and you forgive them, then you have a deeper experience of mercy. Because you know, in your own life, there are habits you've been fighting, and you've sincerely want to overcome them. But you committed that sin repeatedly. And you know that God forgives you repeatedly and your willingness to forgive other people, deepens your forgiveness deepens your sense of God forgiving you. Now the tremendous benefit of forgiving is it repairs, relationships, forgiving, keeps Satan out, keeps the spirit happy, and it keeps the loved ones close to each other. When the Bible says, forgive as God and Christ forgave you, it comes in the context of saying, don't be bitter. And don't give Satan don't give the devil a foothold. And don't grieve the Holy Spirit of God. When we are bitter and refuse to forgive, we give Satan a foothold. we grieve the Holy Spirit so that he pulls back and withdraws and isn't as active in our lives. 

But when we forgive, Satan loses his foothold, the spirit comes near, and rejoices and causes us to rejoice and we're brought closer and closer to our loved ones. If we keep holding things against those whom we love, it can drive us apart. So the repairing of relationships is so vital. And forgiveness is the way to do that. It even helps us defeat our enemies, forgiving those who harm you, and keep harming you and have malice against you. forgiving them keeps their cruelty from controlling you, and leaves them to God. If you refuse, forgive, somebody else is dominating you. Somebody else's wrongs are dominating your mind, they're controlling you, the only way to defeat them. The only way to get them out of your head in the sense of being the controlling factor in your life, is to let go what they did to you. Pray that God will do them well do good things for them, and bless them and move forward. And you know what, when you do that, you have just cut off their cruelty from controlling you, and you're free from their grip, and you're leaving them in God's hands. 

Well, it's important to forgive, it's a package policy, and there are many benefits, but how in the world that we do it, we receive power to forgive, because God's grace is flowing to you. And God's grace isn't just flowing to you. It's flowing through you as you become a more gracious person. You're born again. And you're reborn self, the life of Christ in you. That reborn self loves and forgives. You're in God's kingdom, and God's kingdom is in you. You're under God's reign, and God is reining in you. And because that so he's forgiving you and you're forgiving others. You're in Christ as the Apostle Paul like to put it you're in Christ, Christ is in you. And Jesus who said on the cross, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do that same Christ is living inside you. When you belong to Him, when you put your faith in Him, then you have power to forgive. Then Highlander gives us a good picture of what's involved in revoking revenge. He was talking to a woman who had suffered sexual abuse at the hands of her father. And he's he said, What would you do if God gave you the choice between pushing a button on your left which would utterly destroy your father this minute or a button on your right, which would lead to radical deep repentance and the kind of change that would make him the Father God intended him to be? 

You notice he didn't ask. Do you like your father just the way he is? Are you content with him the way he is? He's just saying, do you really really want revenge and the absolute destruction of that pity of a wicked man, or do you wish that God would change him, that he'd repent and become the man God meant them to be. If you take that attitude towards somebody, if you say, you know what my biggest preference for somebody would not be their destruction and their total suffering, but for them to be transformed to be who God meant them to be, then you've revoked revenge, you're already a long way down the road to forgiving. And then, when you're wanting restoration, when you've revoked revenge, then also forgiveness involves pursuing goodness. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult but with blessing. Romans 12 says, hate what is evil, cling to what is good, do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good forgiveness is not approving evil. Forgiveness is not just accepting and putting up with evil, hate, what is evil, cling to what is good. And even as you hate what is evil, that doesn't mean that you just pour out your hatred on every person who is evil. No, the way to deal with them is you overcome their evil with good, with the power of love with the power of forgiveness with the power of God given courage, overcome evil with good. In the Old Testament, were sometimes told that it was fine to hate your enemies and the new tests that we finally learned that you're supposed to love your enemies, but that's just not so. 

Here's what the Old Testament teaches. If you meet your enemies ox or his donkey going astray, you should bring it back to him. If you find that his donkey has collapsed under a burden, you don't just say, oh serves me right. I hope that donkey dies and my enemy suffers. Instead, says the scripture you go and you help your enemy to get his donkey back up again. In Proverbs 25, it says, if your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat. If he is thirsty, give him water to drink. Another passage from the Old Testament, do not hate your brother in your heart, rebuke your neighbor, frankly, so that you will not share in his guilt. do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people. But love your neighbor as yourself. You see how the Old Testament part of God's word is so consistent with the New Testament, Jesus wasn't inventing something brand new, when he said love your enemies, or when he said don't take revenge. When the Old Testament teaches us to love our neighbor, it's saying, Don't hate your brother, help your enemy. And the new testament of course, says similar things. If your brother sins rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, if he sins against you seven times in a day and seven times comes back to you and says I repent, forgive him. 

Now notice this is different from what we saw earlier of the manipulators as it's my job to hurt you. And it's your job to forgive me. This is a person who truly does repent, but they've got these deadly habits ingrained in their nature and they keep repenting and they they keep trying to change and then you keep forgiving them. you pursue goodness by being bold, bold, love is the tenacious, irrepressible energy to do good in order to surprise and conquer evil, love may demand change, love may bring consequences for a failure to change. Love may withhold involvement until beauty is pursued, love may hurt the other for the sake of a greater good. Now when it's saying hurt, the other doesn't mean punch or try to destroy. But it may mean taking an action that will be very unpleasant for the other person. I know another woman who was sexually mistreated by her father and years later, she confronted him. And he would not admit it, he wouldn't apologize. And she said, well, if that's how you want to be, then you're not going to see much of me anymore. And you're going to have nothing to do with my children, your grandchildren. He was very upset by that. And some other family members were upset by that they thought she was being too harsh and too vengeful. But here's a man who can't be trusted. He won't admit what he did. And yet he thinks that he should be left alone with his grandchildren. 

Well, she's pursuing goodness and she wants the relationship to improve. She wants her father to face up to what he did and become a better man, but she's not going to pay a place or children at risk in order to please him. And she's not going to keep hurting herself like hanging out with him a lot if he's not even willing to admit what he did when she was younger. So sometimes pursuing goodness may cause some pain to the other person. It may mean that you withhold being as involved as you otherwise might be if they were truly transformed. But the goal is still restoration. The goal is still to overcome evil with good, brothers if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore them gently. But watch yourself or you also may be tempted. And James tells us whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way, will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins. That's the blessing of being straightforward with people of showing them areas in which they need to repent and seek forgiveness. They can be saved from death, they can be saved from hell. And so restore people gently. Sometimes, no matter what you do, no matter how much you love, no matter how gentle you are, people remain stuck and refused to repent. And then you don't need to normalize a wicked relationship or pretend that a wicked person is okay. 

A refusal to normalize a wicked relationship is a gift of excommunication. That waits for the sinners return, but does not offer deep relationship until he acknowledges and deals with his sin. The church sometimes excommunicate people who are unrepentant and says you cannot come and participate in the Lord's Supper anymore until you repent. And that's not because the church hates the sinner. It's because the church longs for their restoration. But it can't offer that restoration. It can't offer that relationship until the sin is admitted and dealt with. And just as there's excommunication, sometimes in healthy church discipline, there's also a distancing in relationships with people who refuse to deal with their sin. If you and we've talked about this, when it comes to separate spouse abuse, you're not helping an abusive spouse, by continuing to go along with it and put up with it. The only thing that helps an abusive spouse is if they are faced with consequences that they are either left by their partner, or they are arrested and imprisoned. And then and only then do they really have the proper incentive to make the changes that are necessary. 

So sometimes your blessing a person by facing them with consequences that otherwise they would not deal with. Love your enemy. And keep a few things in mind as you love your enemy. The enemy you love is still your enemy, not your friend, you can love somebody. But that does not mean that they're truly your friend. Loving an enemy doesn't mean liking his personality doesn't mean liking his behavior, it means seeking as good. As we saw, in those old testament stories, it may mean helping him get his donkey back up, it may help mean giving him some food when he's hungry. It doesn't mean saying, boy, I just feel warm and fuzzy. When I'm around that guy. It means you want what's good for him, and you'll do what's best for him. And you'll pray that God will bless him. And in the meantime, you don't have to like that rotten personality, or that evil behavior. Seek the good of a wicked fool or a mocker by challenging his evil. Now we've been talking about forgiveness, and there's a lot of different areas to forgive. Sometimes you're forgiving your spouse, you already love each other, you already have a close relationship perhaps. And yet, there's things you've done that were wrong towards each other. And you need to let go of those. And that's one kind of forgiveness, maintaining the love that you already have in healthy relationships. 

But there's another kind of forgiveness and that's dealing with a wicked fool or a mocker as the book of Proverbs calls them people who make fun of your attempts to restore the relationships who are hardened and are wise in their own eyes. And to seek their good means directly challenging their evil and confronting it and refusing to put up with it. So loving your enemy is consistent sometimes with confrontation with very direct honesty, and sometimes with imposing consequences on someone who refuses to repent. Forgiveness also means and I trust I've made this clear in my talks on child abuse and spouse abuse, sometimes forgiving, you might forgive personally and still let the person experience the consequences, the full consequences of the law. If a child is molested, it is not a requirement that now forgiveness means just letting the molester go. That's happened all too often. And they go out and continue to commit those terrible crimes. So loving an enemy is consistent with challenging the evil and doing everything in your power to put a stop to it. So that good overcomes evil. Do good to your enemy. And that means among other things, you have the power of forgiveness. Stay joyful, don't go around as a grump and act like your whole life has been ruined and poisoned. It may have been a terrible crime that they committed against you, but you have the joy the Lord and you you have Jesus Christ. So count yourself blessed when you suffer for doing right as Jesus follower. 

Do what pleases God and do what helps your enemy you don't let his sin control you. And your challenge sinful patterns, even if it means sometimes reject risking rejection, and attack. But your goal is to do good to those who persecute you to those who wronged you, to those who need God's mercy and grace in your life, the grace and mercy that you've already received. Forgiveness, you want restoration, restoration of the person restoration of the relationship if possible. And if not, it's not going to be because of grudges, or a desire to punish on your part. But because of refusal to repent on their part, you're revoking revenge. You're saying they deserve punishment. But I'm not the one to give it. It's not the time to give it it is God's to avenge and judgment today is his day for vengeance. And in the meantime, I pray that God will have mercy on them. I pray that God will bless my enemies and rescue them from their evils, and then pursue goodness by being kind, by being helpful, by being honest by being firm. By establishing what is right and what's wrong and all of that. you're relying on the power of the Lord Jesus Christ. You forgive because God first forgave you.