Transcript: Blessings from Tony Ruesing

Video Transcript: Blessings from Tony Ruesing (Tony Ruesing)

Welcome to this special session that focuses on officiant ministry roles that go along with all the things you'll be asked to do. All the celebrations, the funerals, the weddings, the openings, all those places where people want a blessing. For example, someone may have a new home, and they want you to come and bless the home, they may want you to come and bless their office, it may be a ribbon cutting ceremony, maybe the opening of a building, but you were now there and this official capacity to help them make this celebration, one that's memorable. And those seven pages that you have in front of you cover some various subjects. And what we want to do is with these pages, give you some examples of what you can do that will help you make this celebration, meaningful and impactful for those attending. If we take a look at this first page, we see here that we have blinded by sorrow, lonely Earth trails, and the room of sorrow. 

These are three prayers that came from the prayers of Peter Marshall, who I have permission to, to use this material that was written a number of years ago, and his son gave me permission to change some of the language so that it would be more 21st century, because it was in the middle of the 20th century that most of these prayers were prayed. And the beauty of it is is they are as timeless as the prayers themselves, because they focus on how we conduct ourselves in these various circumstances. The fact we find ourselves in, for example, you'll be officiating at a funeral. And you'll want to be able to say something that's meaningful for those in attendance. And want to give you just a couple of examples from each. There are a total of six, various prayer examples here for bereavement, but we're going to work with one or two of them. And then we'll go on to the next piece that focuses on dedications and christenings, and then we'll go to a piece on anointing. But this format, this fundamental format, is something you can follow. Regardless of what the situation is, for example, wedding vows are all out there, they're very well apparent. There are times when someone at a wedding will ask you to write a poem for the bride and groom or read a poem that they have written for themselves. 

Many bride and groom couples, many couples today are writing their own vows. And you were there to bring the community the people that attend the family, the friends, the coworkers who are celebrating this great event with them, your to bring them all together and make it joyous and wonderful. With regard to a funeral, where some there's some loss, you're going to have a more solemn demeanor, but at the same time, it has to be a demeanor that helps uplift those that are attending this memorial service. And so these first couple of prayers, we're gonna pray Our prayers from a bereavement and and I want to show you the structure of why this structure is so important. So we're going to take this first one, blinded by sorrow, and you can read along if you'd like, but I'm going to read it and then break it down for you. 

Father, sometimes eyes blinded by the symbols of sorrow cannot see the stars. Even so, there are moments like this one. When nothing is beyond personal grief. We come face to face with misery and loneliness in these days since the death of ________ (you put the person's name) with the strangeness of life and the depth that takes away a loved one we sometimes feel at a loss with no explanation. This is the mystery of the providence I've tried to understand and cannot understand. Your Holy Spirit is with us in sorrow. You are acquainted with our human tears and broken hearts we need the comfort you provide. Because our heart is sore. The knot in our stomach can make us feel like shattering and closing the door of our heart. Help us push and keep it open. Take away the sense of withdrawal that are sometimes used to dull our feelings. It is not the way toward healing, help now to open wide the pathway to the comfort of your loving spirit. Help us to be unafraid of any depth or height or intensity of overflowing emotions. And in your scripture, you promise to wipe away all tears, I asked you now to fulfill that promise, bind up wounded spirits during this troubled time. And thank you for your promise to be here in this time. And always, in Jesus name, Amen. 

If you put a timer on that prayer, it would take somewhere between a minute and a half to two and a half minutes, based upon the cadence of your voice, and the speed with which you use these words, and the energy that you put into it. And I have to say that it's structured in a way to help you more clearly be present to the moment that they are experiencing. 

Father, sometimes eyes blinded by the symbols of sorrow cannot see the stars. And that's a fact. They are so wounded by this loss, that they can't think or see anything. Because they are blinded in that moment. Even so, there are moments like this one, when nothing is beyond our personal grief. And it is the personal grief that they experienced, that you want to acknowledge, can't run away from it, you can't hide from it. You want them to be able to reach inside themselves and say yes, yes. That second paragraph we come face to face with the misery and loneliness in these days since the death of ________ (you put the person's name), and you're acknowledging this dear person who is no longer on this earth. With the strangeness of life and death that takes away a loved one, we sometimes feel a little lost. Sometimes death is unexplainable, and especially in the depth of a very young person, in the depth of someone who suddenly became ill and dies, all of these circumstances are going to put people in various stages of grief, the person who's been long suffering, those in attendance are going to feel the relief that that they know this person has been given. Because of their passing. 

These first two paragraphs, identify those emotions, those feelings. And then in that third paragraph, you'll notice something it says, Your Holy Spirit is with us in sorrow. Now, that's acknowledging that Holy Spirit, God within you, is helping us through this. And you make the statement, that Holy Spirit is acquainted with our human tears and our broken hearts. And we also know that comfort that Holy Spirit can provide, because our heart really is sore. The knot in our stomach, and be aware that that emotions and feelings don't just hit us in our heart. They come from that gut reaction that that that churning in our stomach that upsets our stomach and, and causes us the anxiety that we may experience. We asked them, for God to do something for us. And it will happen for some in that moment. And for others, it will take more time. But what you're asking for is this, take away the sense of withdrawal that are some times used to dull feelings. 

People have a tendency to take what inward and hang on to it. And it's not the way toward feeling. That's what we say. It's not the way toward healing. That's what we're saying. It's not the way to feel. Because with with that feeling you won't heal. The way to healings is helped now to open wide the pathway to comfort and to the comfort of your loving spirit. Help us to be unafraid of any depth or height or intensity of our overflowing emotions. And then you say it's a promise. So you're reinforcing what they know. It's some very core of who they are. In this prayer. I asked you now to fulfill the promise. So you're asking God very specifically to help you in this moment, and to help these listeners these these mourners in that moment. Bend up wounded spirit during this troubled time. Thank you for your promise to be here in this time, and always, in Jesus name, Amen. 

So when you pray this prayer or a prayer similar to this, or take this in its entirety, or break it all apart, just be reminded that you have to acknowledge their grief, you have to acknowledge the pain in the room is the big elephant in the room. It's the sorrow, it's the grief, it's the overflow of emotion that has to be acknowledged. And then you find the hope, and the prayer as it continues. And that's how you want to craft that message that you want to share in this grieving time. I am going to give you one more example of this, and we're going to do this from the end of this section, which is there's actually six prayers here. But let's look at number five. 

Father, we pray, that when our faith is tested, we become by patience, and the grace afforded us and all your promises closer to you. So we're, we're saying that, yes, sometimes these events, test our faith. But when they do, we ask that they actually, over time, bring us closer to you, and bring us the understanding that we need. And it goes on to say that let us through your Holy Spirit, feel your presence. Jesus, you made it possible through your sacrifice on the cross for our sins. When you triumphed over death, to comfort us in times like these, Jesus paid a horrible price of painful price for you and me, he walked a path that we do not have to walk to save us from ourselves. And all of that grief, all of that suffering that he did for us, when he died, was buried and rose from the dead. All of that comes to play in this event that's happened to this audience to these folks who have gathered to celebrate someone's life. We claim to your presence in loss, grief and sadness. Over missing loved ones, taken from our midst. And then we asked for something again, very specifically in this prayer, pour your strength and courage into our pain and sorrow. Give us the peace that comes with knowing you were the one true God. And on that day, when you come for the second time, we will join loved ones and all be together again. It is that promise we hold on too tight. In your precious name we pray Amen. 

I chose this prayer number five and the first prayer to give you two contrasting examples. The first prayer is about a minute and a half to two and a half minutes long. This prayer is shorter. It's about a minute long to a minute and a half long, depending on what you add or subtract from it. To give you an example of how long it takes to deliver a prayer like that. It's about 230 minutes to deliver two and a half minutes of prayer. And it's about 150 to 160 words to deliver a minute to a minute and a half of prayers. So keep in mind that this group of people who were there to celebrate a life and the passing of a loved one, also, one to hear a message of hope. And that's what you are there to provide by turning to the scripture, finding the appropriate scriptures and making that a time of hope. 

I want to share an example with you. My mother in law's Bible was given to the pastor who did her eulogy. And the beautiful part of what he said was, I found in reading through Betty's Bible that she was there often. And it was a true statement. She was in her Bible every day and had been since the time she was 22 years old. She died at 93, he found a little note in the Bible. And in that note, she had said she bended it doctor, the doctor said you have a heart condition and this could shorten your life. And he told her that when she was 60 And the notes she put in her Bible, describe that. And at the bottom of the note, she said, "we'll see". Well, the pastor read that at her memorial service. And everyone laughed. We're uplifted, because that was Betty. That's how Betty lived her life. She lost two children in her lifetime. She went through a very ugly time in her life. And found in a remarriage of beautiful, lovely 42 year experience with her second husband, she passed away before he did. And all of us who sat there knew that this pastor, this minister is officiant. And taking the time to talk about Betty in a way that all of us could relate to. 

She spoke her mind, always, always told it like she felt it. And that's what needs to happen. That kind of a service. So let's go to this next piece. This next piece is describing a hospital visitation, or assisted living, same thing, you may be going to a home to visit a sick person, you may be going periodically to see the same person and they're struggling. They're not their past, they're getting shots, they're taking tests, they're being poked on and they're being just bothered, it's interesting that you don't get much sleep in the hospital. Because in the middle of the night, there's somebody there with a cough, and they're putting it on and pumping up and taking your blood pressure, or they're putting a thermometer on your thumb, or they're slipping it under your tongue. All of these things are going on, and there's all this activity. And so you're not at your best. And here comes you. And you are there with a smile on your face, trying to encourage this person who may feel really miserable. 

But your presence there is so important to them in this moment. They may be facing death, they may be trying to recover from a surgery that's going to transform and change their life. And so they look at you. And they realize that you care enough to be there with them. Now, let's take a look at a prayer that you might pray for them. We have several here, six actually healer of my infirmities. And I wrote this prayer out in a way that it could be changed for you to pray for someone or to pray for yourself. And you're going to be teaching people how to pray. And you're going to be using the scripture to do that. You're going to be using scripture references to that. You're also going to be charged with keeping a journal for yourself so that you can have a prayer that that becomes so comfortable is so familiar to you that you're able to use it and express it in a way that helps people understand that our emotions and our feelings and bring life to the moment. And all feelings all emotions are that way. If we recognize that God put him there for a purpose. And sometimes in our humaneness, we need to be reminded to that. So I'm going to take one of these. Your approval is peace of mind. So I'm going to pray this prayer and I'm going to pray it as an eye prayer. And then I'll turn it around and give you an example of what it might sound like. If you prayed for someone. 

Forgive me, oh God for getting so caught up in my own importance. That there are times I am so anxious, in all I say and do that I long for the approval of other people, forgetting that it is your approval and yours alone. That brings me peace of mind and clear conscience. Make me aware of the record you were writing the record that one day will be read by the judge of all the universe and remind me to strive for personal integrity based upon your presence in my real life, rather than my own ego centered self. I pray for your grace, and your help to do better and be better in making decisions that impact not just my life, but the lives of those I love and who loves me. I pray for your strength and guidance and I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

That prayer is what someone who you will be standing next to sitting next to holding their hand, reaching out to them, putting your hands on their shoulder, that prayer will be the kind of prayer that they need. So the language of this prayer would be transformed. If it's a prayer, you're praying for yourself. And we all need to have prayer and we pray for ourselves, we can look at that prayer in a different light, and recognize that what we're feeling is what others feel. And so we transform it, forgive me oh God, for getting so caught up in my own importance would be Father, we ask, as we sit here with Fred, that you help him recognize, as we all recognize, that we get caught up in our own importance. You take that sentence, and you adjust it. So it applies to Fred. Make Fred aware of the record, that you're writing down the record, that one day, we'll be read by the judge of the universe. Because Fred knows that all his sin is covered by knowing you as his personal Savior. And you would add that, if you know that about friend. Remind him to strive for personal integrity based upon your presence in his life. So you see how you take words. And you reflect on the person that you're encouraging. The person you're there to visit the person, you're there to uplift because they feel lonely, sad, and disappointed. And you help them through that process. 

So another prayer here, I want to just look at briefly with you. It's number nine, melt the coldness of our hearts. This might be a prayer, that is for a group. And they may be feeling the frustration of being at having to visit and be together as a family. And so the family is all in the waiting room together. And you've been asked to come and visit and pray with them together. And so listen to this, and see if it's information that can be adapted by you to speak just the right words, in that moment, with that gathered family to help them through this circumstance. This hospital visitation is this nursing home that, that their grandma or grandpa or their mother and father are in. I titled the prayer, melt the coldness of our hearts. 

Lord Jesus in the harsh of this moment, we pray, that your tender spirit may steal into our hearts, and reveal to us how near and how dear, you are to us. There are times when you are not real to us and we know why. It's not because you have withdrawn from us. But because we have wandered away from you. Not because you are not speaking, but because we are not listening. Not because your love for us is cool. But because we have fallen in love with things instead of your person. Your strength, your courage, your salvation, your sovereignty. 

Put the words there that are meaningful for you in that moment and meaningful for this family? Oh, Lord, melt the coldness of our hearts, that we may again fall in love with you, who did and still do love us. Beyond how we love back, we'll never be able to love God, as much as God loves us but we can try. And we try when we recognize that people who are sick in a hospital and in a recovery unit. When they're in a nursing home or an assisted living. They're not at their best and yet they are there and need the encouragement you can provide using Holy Spirit's in you, to deliver God's message to them. All right. So those are examples of how you might conduct yourself in one of those settings. Let's go on to another setting this valuable and helpful to us. Let's look at a dedication or a christening. And this is kind of written in a script form. And there's a lot more that can be added to this by you from your experiences in this environment. And as you teach this to others, you'll be adding to these notes. So they become precious to you, helpful to you, so that you can pass this along. And let's just look at three scriptures here. Matthew 19:13, through 14, Mark 10:13, through 15. And then finally, Luke 18 through 16. 

It's all about this event that occurred when Jesus was preaching. And children started coming to him because the parents wanted Jesus to bless these children for disciples got indignant for where these kids were going here. And they became indignant. They became push-back, Jesus stopped them, he stopped them in their tracks. And this is what he said. Jesus said, let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Now in each of those scriptures, it's said slightly different. But it's the same message. And it's written in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. It's saying that we, as humans need to always be childlike, because we are children of God. And if we are, what we want to be able to do is recognize that your authority for christening, for officiating, for ministering at a dedication or christening, or a blessing, or an anointing, all of that's covered by this verse, because we're told if you do not approach God, in a childlike spirit, you may not get there, let me be clear here. 

When you ask for forgiveness of sins, and surrender to Jesus, you are in His presence. And Holy Spirit is now alive in you, Holy Spirit has always been there, but now is alive in you, and you are transformed and your life changes. What we are emphasizing here is, that's what brings mom and dad to want to have their child dedicated. That's what brings mom and dad to wanting to anoint a 16 year old or a 17 year old. That's what brings us to the celebrations. It's the same thing that takes us to the altar. When a man and a woman want to be united in Christ, they want to be married, they want to be part of that spirit filled community. And when we are dedicating or trying to bless the child, it's usually at the request of a parent. So I'm going to read through just a little bit of this, and you have it in front of you. And we're going to see that you that you have enough information to fully put this together. And then some of this same information and the same structure will apply to other gatherings and other appointments that you might have with regard to your officiating duties. It's usually at the request of parents. It is a way for them to say they will raise this child up in a way that is in alignment with God's word. Raising up a child is another way of saying we will parent this child using God's word as the guide. 

So that's kind of self explanatory, but it's the thoughtful thing that you want to say to these parents. Now, we're so glad that you've come here and you want to dedicate your child and just so we're clear, this is making the statement that you plan to use God's Bible, the scripture to bring this child up. Can we all agree on that and you shake your head as you do it? This commitment is what the family gathers along with friends and possibly a grant parent, a godparent. A couple that that becomes godparents, they all come to observe this, and taking part in this christening or dedication, blessing what whatever it's being referred to as, his offer on behalf of his child. So the parents are making this decision for this child at this time. It could be an infant, it could be a newborn, it could be a child, a two year old, a three year old, it could be a child that stands in front of you, when this child is presented, for this blessing, and for this, this dedication, your mind these folks that are there that God is the giver of life and asked for obedience from all who surrendered to sovereignty. And then I would suggest, or are offered that when you say Jesus paid the price for us with His sacrifice on the cross, and resurrection from the tomb where he was placed. 

After dying for our sins. We know He rose from the dead and commissioned the disciples to preach the gospel, and all the world. And he asked them to bless others, just as you are now going out to bless others, and teach others how to bless. It's that constant, never ending process of all of us being in this together, helping each other build the kind of relationships that we want to build with a heavenly Father, through Jesus Christ's example. And he pulled these 12 disciples together, he was with them for three years. And then he said to them, go and preach the gospel, and they did. To offer the blessing you as the officiant will ask everyone to join you around this child. And as you can read here, typically, this blessing is offered, when a child has an infant that is not limited to infants and can be administered at any age. There's another anointing and blessing. And the parents may decide it more fitting, it would be more fitting than the one that we're describing here. And I'm going to take a few minutes and explain that one as well. But for now, let's just stay with this one. 

You're going to put your hands on the child's head, if they're standing in front of you, you're going to hold your hand on the child if you're holding the child, or you're going to reach out and touch the child on the forehead, if the parents are holding the child. Either parent are a parent, the mother for a portion of it, and the father for another portion of it, is another way to manage that environment, that situation that dedication. But the idea is that something is going to occur that requires you to touch and lay your hands on this person who's been dedicated or Christen. I was Christen when I was five years old. And then as an adult, I was baptized. And there were people who said, well, if you're a Christian, you can't be baptized? Well, the answer is, that's not true. See, the christening and the dedication are what parents do for us, that we can't do for ourselves. And baptism is the decision we make for ourselves to tell the world that we have Jesus as our Savior. And we believe in His message. And we attempt to go out and help others recognize that Jesus is Lord. So, when we take this message, and we take this to this blessing ceremony, we have a prayer. And I would suggest that as you start the addressing the dedication ceremony itself and you've invited everyone up to baptism reef or you invited them up to a table and they're all around the table, and the parents are with you on one side of the table. And the guests are around the table, whatever that setting might look like or be like, and however you position it is appropriate based upon the conversation that you have with a mom and dad. 

But you would start by recognizing Father, Father God or gracious Heavenly Father, all of those names of God are important and appropriate. As are all the other names of God in the Bible, God is our sovereign Lord and Savior, you may refer to God as Abba it's another name, Yahweh, Yahshua, Jesus Christ, all of those are appropriate, and this beginning can be discussed with parents as they enter this commitment that they're making. And they are with you in a meeting, setting a date, preparing for this event. And by having this pre blessing conversation, you're allowing your parents to become an integral part of a certain way, you're including them, you're inviting them in, and they're being part of that process, with things to say, and things to respond to. And we'll give you an example in a moment. This would take place before the date. And this is a celebration, it's a joyful time. And that's what you want to bring to this moment. You want to bring this to that moment, by engaging everyone who's present. 

You may qualify the event by saying something like this, this blessing is being given by the authority of Jesus Christ, his father, and the Holy Spirit, our comforter, put that in your own words, but make a declaration that this is being done. And it's Scripturally based. And you name the parents, and ask them for the given name of this child. So you would say, Lisa and Robert has parents, what name do you give this child, and they would say it out loud. And this is where in that meeting that you have you help them understand it's not mumble, it's proclaimed. And they proclaim the life of the child, the name of the child, and their life is connected to that name, repeated back for all to hear, this child's given name is now you as the officiant in that moment, take the lead from the parents, and you repeat the name. So it's repeated a second time. And you state to follow this child presented this day, the 27th of April in the year, and you've put the year in there is hereby christened in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, you give their full name a third time. So the parents have said it, you said it. And then this third reference to it. 

Your name was written, you say their name. And then you say your name was written in the book of life before you were conceived. And may you grow up knowing your parents committed to raising you, being guided by the sovereign God of the universe, creator of all things, your parents in these gathered, friends and family all join in celebrating your special day of dedication, and the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. Now, think about this. The reference that we just described is for a dedication of a child, a dedication of a building would use the same format, the dedication of an office, a home would use a similar format. And by you taking this and crafting this in such a way that it helps you have something at the ready, believe me you'll be called upon. And an hour later have to show up at some place because somebody forgot to call you and they're there and they need you. They want you and you are there to respond. There's a prayer here as well. And you can read this. But again, you want to emphasize now this is all about this child, it's just been dedicated, or Christen. And so there's a line in the prayer that says, and it's a blank here, as and you put their name in here continues to grow. 

Give them always the desire to seek your word encouragement is found in your everlasting love. Let them as they grow, become seekers after your commandments. So they love others like they are loved by all present here today. Let's all join in praying the prayer offered in your Holy Book, and then you would pray the Lord's Prayer suggestion, a thought but my point is that has a coming to closure. sense and feel to it. Because the structure that above that prayer is so beautiful. It's the structure of all of our prayers. If you think about how its structured, and there are several books written on this subject, the beauty of that prayer is how we can craft the prayer that we pray to God. This last prayer on this page is for your, your ever loving Father, and you can pray this as a single parent, you can pray this as a couple. And again, you change the verbiage just slightly, to make it personal for you. And for the couple who will be praying. 

I suggest that one or both of the parents have a common in the form of prayer that you include in the actual unrelenting dedication or christening portion of the event. Now, we said there was something for an older child and we say, just casually, between ages 12 13 14, somewhere in there, there are older and they're understanding the gospel. They're understanding the commitment that they're making a little bit more. But there's an anointing service that can be conducted. And here's how it works. You have in front of you a script was used for my grandson's anointing on his 16th birthday. And you'll notice in the first paragraph, there's real personal things here. That happened. He was born because his mother Hannah prayed for a child. No, that's because Samuel was a great prophet who his legacy has lasted 3000 years. And he was born because his mother had a pray for a child. And so he was given back to the to levy, he was giving back to the priests before him. He was giving back to the priests before him, and that priest. 

This is the anointing service that I mentioned to you earlier. Samuel was a prophet whose legacy has lasted 3000 years. And his mother asked and prayed for a child, and he was dedicated to the service of God. And then it goes on with some very personal information. It is like you Christian, praying for a sister and being blessed with both a brother and a sister at the same time. The story behind that is that he started praying for a sister, and he would get discouraged at times. But he, he was diligent in his prayers. And he prayed for a very long time. And in fact, by the time he was eight years old, he'd been praying three or four years for a sister. And when he was told that he was going to have a sister and a brother, he was shocked. He was absolutely shocked. And fast forward now on his 16th birthday, his eight year old brother, and sister Landon, and Brooklyn are there as part of this celebration. And there are parts for each of these participants, as well as for grandma, as well as for Grandpa, his brother and sister and then father and mother. So this is an example of a script that might be put together for the anointing of someone in their teenage years. And the actual anointing part of this can be laid out in a way that's scriptural. And you can enjoy this person, this this young person, male or female, young man, young lady, so that they feel the presence of God by this officiating that you do to make this a formal event. 

A formal celebration, that is, is bringing this person to the realization that their life has meaning. And that meaning comes from how well you follow God's guidance, direction, how willing you are to be obedient to your heavenly Father. When You anoint someone you ignite their forehead you anoint their fingertips and you will note their toe. You can also anoint their heart by placing their hand over their heart. As you read through this, you'll read how each participant in this became part of this process that I'm going to read just the father the mother's prayer. But as you read through this, you'll be able to come to your own steps that will take you through this process. Christian is your Father, I give you my blessing. we anoint you asking God to grant you the powerful presence of the Holy Spirit. with infinite mercy, may God hold you forever in his life, in this life and the next in his hand. May you be released to live a life that God has in store for you, given the gifts and talents he has bestowed, and may He preserve you and all the goodness and bring you to everlasting life through Jesus Christ our Savior. 

Now, these two prayers and one from the Father, the one from the Mother, are prayed as they are holding on to their son, and the grandparents and his brother and sister all have laid hands on him. He can be standing or he can be seated. What makes that person you and this gathering comfortable, and what makes this memorable is the way you would conduct this anointing ceremony. I hope this has been helpful to you with your handout should give you some valuable information as to how to manage these very special events. God bless you and thank you for listening.