Transcript: Prayer Ideas from Tony Ruesing

Video Transcript: Prayer Ideas from Tony Ruesing 

Welcome to this special time where we're going to talk about the importance of delivering a message as an officiant or a minister. In those special occasions, that you'll be asked and called upon to be the person in charge of that event. It's time for us to think about some of the mechanics that would go into that. So we're going to be talking about funerals, we're gonna be talking about dedications, visits to hospitals, visitations to nursing homes, those kinds of occasions, where it's important for us to be there and help people through various transformations and changes that are taking place in their lives. So we're going to begin by talking about bereavement. It's that place where people are really raw emotionally in many instances, and we want to help them through that process. So we're going to look at some prayers. And I'm going to read these prayers. And I want to share with you how they came about. Peter Marshall was a minister back in the middle of the 20th century, who wrote some beautiful words and prayers that were published. And with the permission of his son, I was asked to go ahead and change some of the verbiage to bring it up to the 21st century. 

And in doing that, I had the privilege of reading through those prayers. And here are just a portion of what was written, but what you're going to notice is that they have a very specific sequence of events that happens in the prayer, and they are paired messages. And this is what is required. When you are in a situation that is new to you, yet been attended by those that are very familiar, for example, with the deceased, and their friends, family, coworkers, and you have to bring them together in their grief. And you want to help them do that. And part of that is what is prayed in these times. So I'm going to give you about six examples. Each one of them is labeled so that you can use them in your ministry and in your being at the role of efficient to to better serve the community that you'll be working with. When asked and need to be ready. That means having material that is there that you've reflected on set aside and are now ready to offer when called upon. So this first prayer is titled, blinded by sorrow. And you're going to find that there are people that are almost unconsolable in some of these situations. And what we're going to do is pray this prayer, read it out loud. And then what we're going to suggest are ways that you can use this and incorporate and integrate your own words. 

So it fits the occasion. blinded by sorrow, Father, sometimes eyes blinded by the symbols of sorrow cannot see the stars. Even so, there are moments like this one. When nothing is beyond personal grief. We come face to face with misery and loneliness and these days since the death of and you put the name of the deceased with the strangeness of life and death that takes away a loved one we sometimes feel at a loss with no explanation. This is the mystery of the providence I have tried to understand and it's sometimes have a difficult time understanding. Your Holy Spirit is with us in sorrow. You are acquainted with our human tears and broken hearts. We need to comfort you provide because our heart is sore. The knot in our stomach can make us feel like shutting the door to our heart. Help us push and keep it open. Take away the sense of withdrawal that are sometimes used to dull feelings. 

It is not the way toward healing. Help now to open wide the pathway to the comfort of your loving spirit. Help us to be afraid of any depth or height or intensity of overflowing emotion. In your scripture, you promised to wipe away all tears from our eyes, I asked you not to fulfill that promise for those gathered here, bind up wounded spirit, during this troubled time. And thank you for your promise to be here, in this time and always, in Jesus name, Amen. Now that prayer is written with about 220 words 20, to 25 words 220 to 25 words. You could use our craft as much of that or as little as you wish. But it gives you a sense of what needs to take place in the prayer that you are putting together for these loved ones who have gathered in this celebration of life. The first portion of this acknowledges that there is grieving. The second portion reinforces the fact that there's grieving over this person is this individual, this unique creature of God. They had a life, they lived it well. And you're identifying the fact that the Holy Spirit is the comfort that we seek, in this occasion. It then moves to taking away the sense of withdrawal that sometimes occurs when people are at a loss. They they've lost this level, what do I do next? They're not sure. And it ends with, I asked you now to fulfill your promises. 

There are so many promises God makes. And all those promises are available to us. We need to call on them and ask for them. Here's another example a second prayer. Lonely Earth trails are Jesus you have walked Earth trails, you know the nostalgia of the human life, and how we cling to it. You have been alone in the wilderness. Blessed now the members of this family and in their loneliness over the loss of their loved one. To all who are bewildered home sick are ready to desert their posts. Please give them new courage. And may they here in the portals of their very soul, the bugle call announcing the arrival of reinforcements by letting the Holy Spirit shine his light on them, in this time of grief. Made a friendship of Jesus of Nazareth be made known to them and made a find a welcome in this company of God's people that surround them now in this time, will you guide and inspire them, keep them for me, and a low an angry spirited person who says something that is inappropriate, because they don't know what to say. Point them ever, to the plans of the fellowship with you and add the value of having you as their guide. We asked now father to transform them in their home sickness and new endeavors. enable them to translate the affection of the heart into a new zest in their lives, direct their hearts, so that all of us will be kindly and affectionate toward one another. Let us abound in love and sympathy. 

Help us renounce unkind words, checking the hastiness of our judgment. In all things Lord, we ask that we be gentle and full of compassion in the world of confusion and hate. May we walk softly before you and deal gently with one another, being able to do so through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen. See, there are so much emotion going and there is people pointing at themselves as opposed at the occasion. And they say things that just come out of their mouth. And what we want to do is acknowledge that it'll happen but we also have to be clear on the fact that they should not be judged in those times of grief and suffering. But they need to be acknowledged. We hope that these words can give you some examples of where you might position what you're trying to share with them. This third prayer is called the room of sorrow. Father God, we think of that inner room of a family sorrow into which only you can truly enter. Sympathy cannot bind up the broken heart and time of loss. Only through you can we find a piece that goes beyond understanding. 

We ask You now for that gracious and healing comfort that Jesus made possible. His sacrifice gave us this opportunity to grieve, knowing that He is there with us. And we ask that You help those who walk beside us in this time, in this hour of grief and party, let us redirect ourselves to You in a way that will bring forth more than a troubled heart due to our loss. We ask You, Father to provide the joy and peace. And we asked for joyful memories and peaceful hearts. We asked all of this in the name who conquered death, Jesus, the Christ, who intercedes for us. In Jesus name we pray, Amen. It's a shorter prayer, and what it is, and can be helpful with his the rhythm of the of the service, the rhythm of the interaction that you're having in this environment. And sometimes it calls for more prayer. And sometimes it calls for a shorter prayer. And the first one takes a minute and a half, two minutes, if it's said slowly, this one is approximately a minute long. This fourth prayer is heavy hearts, Lord Jesus, you've been despised and rejected of men, I asked you to be merciful to the disillusion. And for all those whose hearts have been wounded. 

Everyone sitting in that memorial service has a room of some kind, some are closer to God than others. And what we're helping people understand that through this rejection that some people feel for anything associated with faithfulness, holiness, God, and and the connection he has to all of us needs to be acknowledged, and they see it as a wound, and you're helping them transform that wound into a better understanding of the health that God gives us. This prayer goes on to say, there are some there are some for whom skies are dark, whose future seems uncertain. These are your children with nameless griefs, weighed down in the bitterness of sorrow, living sorrows, that have no grave and cannot be buried. There are hearts heavy with suspense, who wait in the twilight, of an excruciating uncertainty. There will be times when people just are so overwhelmed. They struggle with trying to put the sense of this death all together. The prayer goes on, You are the one true God who knows our every sin, and the chains that hold us back, yet You still love us. Be gracious now to everyone in this time of loss. Let everyone feel the strength and power of Your grace that grants us the ability to endure Your grace and comfort. We asked all of this in the name of Your son Jesus. 

Now, you'll be sharing these prayers, and teaching your fellow students those that are walking through life with you, how to pray. And what my hope is, is that these words will give you some guidance and some direction as to crafting a prayer that aligns with the situation that you will find yourself in. As we look at this particular one, Lord Jesus, you have been despised and rejected. And then we're making a statement that is true. There are many who do just that. We also then say that for those who reject God, their skies are darker, their uncertainty is more uncertain. And these are your children. Still God created us all. And these nameless griefs that weigh them down, create struggles for them that we know nothing about. But in their struggle, and they're heavy hearts, that keeps them in a situation of uncertainty. 

You in the last paragraph of that prayer, offer them hope by saying, you are the one true God who knows our every sin and chains that hold us back. Yet You still love us. That's a promise. That's something that we know our heavenly Father does. He waits on us. That's what free will gives us the opportunity to choose. And when we choose to surrender to Him, the benefit to us is we can participate in all these blessings. Be gracious now to everyone in this time of loss. Let everyone feel the strength and power of Your grace, that grants us the ability to endure. And that's where they may find hope, in this moment, where they come into this moment, so sorrowful, so, so grieving that they just can't put things together. And when You make a statement, let everyone feel the strength and power of Your grace that grants us the ability to endure, let them know that this too shall pass. seeking Your grace and comfort, we asked all of this in the name of Jesus. So this brief prayer, another one that that's about a minute long, would be something that you might do at the cemetery, or in the little chapel that might be on the premises, where they've now taken the deceased, and you're ready for those last few moments. And you're bringing the the the service to a close, that you would use a prayer that talks about the heavy hearts and lifts it at the end, to know that God is there with us to Holy Spirit. 

Our faith can be tested at times. And I'm certain that there are going to be situations where we're wondering how did this happen? Where are we in this? I, I'm just at a loss. It's a testing of faith. And so, here again, we've positioned this prayer in a way that starts with acknowledgement of what that testing might feel like. And then it ends with the uplifting component that needs to be there. It's necessary to help this person through this struggle. Father, we pray that when our faith is tested, we become by patience, and the grace you afforded us. In all your promises closer to you. Let us through your Holy Spirit. And let us feel your presence. Jesus, you made it possible through your sacrifice on the cross for our sins. When you try and over death to comfort us in times like these. You raise up all of us who believe in everlasting life, letting us feel Your presence. We claim to Your presence in loss, grief and sadness, or missing loved ones taken from our midst. Poor Your strength and courage into our pain and sorrow. Give us the peace that comes with knowing You are the one true God and on that day. When You come for the second time, we will join the loved ones and all be together again. It is that promise we hold on too tight right now. And Your presence and Your precious name we pray, Amen. 

Again, this prayer is crafted. And for you when you're asked to make this commitment to, to being there as the officiant of the service, you want to prepare remarks that are appropriate for that person. And sometimes you'll be in situations where you're not as familiar with one person than you might need to be. And while there's some generalization there, the grieving is the same. They're feeling the same pains. If you had known the person, well, it would make a difference. But at the same time, you were there as that guiding comfort, the physical prototype of presence and Holy Spirit through you helping them through this devastation, this grief, this loss. This final prayer this sixth one is titled broken melodies. Jesus you are this Savior of the world, provide those gathered here to celebrate the life of, and you would name the person who has passed. But in his very first sentence, she says, You are the Savior of the world, you are giving hope to those that sit, waiting for this message in prayer. Comfort us, as we grieve this loss, made the tokens of loveliness taken from the memories they share be reminders of the good times and struggles they experienced together in life. So you're connecting them to this loved one who has died. 

We request You grant these friends, family and loved ones, the peace and knowing they will someday be reunited. Life live to glorify You is a testament to and you name the person and say, life in the sorrow of loss, may all present me start again, in the sorrow of loss by all present, discover the wonderful comfort You provide, through the Holy Spirit that dwells within us, there for us, even in our grief, we know and hold on to You Lord, that at the last when the cords of Earth are silent, we will be found in heaven. All the broken melodies of our lives will be blended in the harmony and beauty of Your glory. By this very hope. We are upheld and sustained. In this life, we live in the strongest name on Earth, we pray in Jesus Christ, our Lord's name, Amen. That last prayer for the bereavement section of this session is about a minute and a half, to almost two minutes, based upon your taking that prayer and crafting it in a way that includes the words that you want to put in, in the appropriate places. As you use this model or example of how to put a prayer together, that brings a message into that prayer, and gives comfort to those who are in emotional pain. 

You're going to be called upon to go to a hospital, visit a sick person in their home, or to an assisted living or maybe a nursing home. The people that you'll be interacting with are not at their best, they're uncomfortable, they've they've been taking in been giving tests, and they have had shots, they are medicated. And so they are not at their very best. And they are looking for hope. They're looking for the touch of another human being that connectedness that comes with your visit. And so we put together some prayers for these situations that are different than the first we've put together for bereavement. And again, each of these are crafted structures that you can use to make them appropriate for the situation that you will be having and be experiencing. Here's the first one healer of my infirmities. Now, I'm going to take this prayer and I'm going to pray it as though it applies to me as it applies to me by I'm going to use the word by. And then what I'll do is I'll give you an example of how this might be prayed if you were praying for someone else. And we're going to take this prayer and use some adjustments to it. 

But at the same time, you'll notice there are differences that are the kind of differences I'm describing. You want to use to make this unique, and make this for and fit the occasion. Healer of my infirmities I confess that in my desperation in my need, I have wondered about the providence of God. Forgive I pray this lack of trust in His power, and in His love. I acknowledged by unworthiness to ask You for any good gifts. Yep, I asked not on my merit but because of the claims purchased for me at the cross. So this is someone who is having a challenge with their faith because it's one operation after another it's it's one malady after another, it's a pain and discomfort that they live with all the time. It's the aging process. It's the loss of memory, it's the not being a certain as you one time were. Jesus, you yourself, explored all the vast treasures of pain on that cross, and you did so to bestow on me, Grace, you saved me from myself. You took my place, and made a way for me, You're the savior of my soul. And now I would know You as the savior of my body, please take these infirmities away from me, I asked You, Father, for Your grace, as the great physician, to heal me of all of my maladies, both spiritually and physically. 

Now, if you took that prayer, and you prayed that prayer, for someone who would add their name, and you would speak in terms of you, and how that might be impacting them. So let's take this paragraph Jesus, you yourself explored all the vast treasures of pain on that cross, and you did so to bestow grace on and you put that person's name right there. You know, Father, that you saved, and you put their person name in there from themselves. You took their place, and You made them whole, You were the savior of their soul. And now I would ask You, as the savior of their soul, to save their body, I asked Father, Your Grace, as the great physician to heal them, of all their maladies, both spiritual and physically. So by my taking that paragraph of that prayer, you, you pray that prayer with this person. So it's the preparation that you that you put together before the visitations that will give you the confidence, the strength and the courage that you need to deal with these situations. You see, the preparation prepares you and it may not go in that direction at all. But the preparation gives you the confidence you need to deal with and manage that situation. 

I'm going to go through this next couple of prayers. And then I'll stop and share with you an example of something that did not go the way I anticipated it would go and what we did with that experience. Lord Jesus, You are the Lord of lords, the King of kings, You are still the ruler of this universe from the beginning to the end, You are the great, I am, the great architect and creator of this world. In the beginning, You designed every part of it, from the twinkling of the great stars, to the molding of petals of the wayside flowers. You created the coloring of the heavens to the 10th of the butterfly's wings, even to the creation of and You name this person, and You associate them with Adam and Eve. If You know their spiritual life and their spiritual walk, that's what You would do. So I'll use a name. And we'll say her name is Virginia. So the line would be; You created the coloring of the heavens to the 10th of the butterfly's wings, even to the creation of Virginia's ancestors, Adam and Eve. You created Virginia, and now dwell in her through the temple of Your Holy Spirit. So by putting the name in this, you transfer this from a gathering to an individual. 

But if we go on and pray this, as it fits for a gathering, it sounds like this. You indwell us all yet some do not recognize or acknowledge Your sovereignty overall. Hear me as I pray, who knows and trust You even in illness that I pray they be released from it. Hold on their physical body. I pray for Your healing touch as the great physician who heals in sickness and in health, may Your will be done in your kingdom glorified, as Jesus taught us to pray. So that may sound a little stumbling. And the stumbling is that you go back. And you rework that. So it fits the occasion. If it were prayed in a group, it would be all in us. If it were prayed individually, you would add the name and put you if it's prayed for yourself, it would be me, just as we did in that first prayer we described here. Take the next one. Your approval is peace of mind, forgive me, oh, God for getting so caught up in my own importance, that there are times I am so interested in all I say and do I long for the approval of other people, forgetting that it is your approval, and Yours alone. That brings me peace of mind and clear conscience. 

So this is another prayer that would be in alignment. In some situations where you feel someone whose self esteem and discomfort with themselves is so great that you want to help them create a bridge from where they are, to where God wants them to be. And you're helping them get where God wants them to be. And that's love themselves enough to love other people. And God created them. They are lovable. God demonstrates that every single day, and it may be your responsibility, No. It may be your encouragement. To help them get to that place. Remind me to strive for personal integrity based upon Your presence in my life, rather than on my own ego centered self. So if you prayed that, for them, it would be remind me to strive for personal integrity based upon well, I'm reading and again, the way I read it the first time let me go back, remind put their their name and remind. We'll use the name Virginia again, remind Virginia to strive for personal integrity, based upon your presence in her life, rather than on her own ego, power and or self centeredness, period. 

Now, that may sound like a harsh prayer is not is being truthful, and at the same time giving hope. I pray for Your grace to fall upon Virginia, and help her do better and be better in making decisions that impact not just her life, but the lives of those she loves, and who love her. Instead of I prayed for Your grace, Your help to do better and be better and making decisions that impact not just my life, but the lives of those I love and who loves me. So that's how you take this prayer, and you tailor it to meet the occasion. This next prayer is titled melt the coldness of our hearts. Lord Jesus in the harsh of this moment. We pray that Your tender Spirit may seal into our hearts and reveal to us how near and how dear You are to us. There are times when You are not real to us. And we know why it is not because You have withdrawn from us that because we have wandered away from You. Not because You are not speaking but because we are not listening. Not because Your love for us is cool. But because we have fallen in love with things instead of other people. 

Oh Lord, melt the coldness of our hearts, that we may again fall in love with You who did and still does love us. In Jesus name we pray, Amen. So I hope this has been helpful to you. As we look at these prayers, and I've given you three here that are for different kinds of occasions. Again, only guides you're certainly welcome to use what you see here on the page. But if you care to tailor it for that specific event, you may do so. 

Lord Jesus we know of no better way to begin another day then by redirecting our lives to You, resolving to trust You and to obey You, and to do our very best to serve You, by serving our fellow man. In these days that call for understanding for mercy for the salvation of men, souls, and the healing of their bodies, may we have Your spirit that we may work to that end, for You are the Savior of the world. And we have no hope, apart from You, hear our prayers for Your mercy sake, Amen. 

Now, would you do this for a men's group? I think so. Would you do it for a women's group? I think so. I think the word men, women are appropriate. If you're doing it with a group, and there are men and women there, then that word men would change. And it would sound like this, You by serving our fellow men and women, Your creations, in these days, call for understanding for mercy for the salvation of our souls, and the healing of our bodies. May we have Your Spirits that we may work to that end, for You are the Savior of the world, and we have no hope apart from You. The way this connects with people, is by you taking this exemplary prayer and using it in a way that helps you form your thoughts, your heartfelt feelings for these moments. And it's not to memorize, it's to prepare, and then let God take over and give you the words through the Holy Spirit. For our problems beyond measure, our Father, we stand to join our hearts in prayer, in our knowledge, of our great need of Your guidance. 

We know that by ourselves, we are not enough for these days, or for the problems beyond the measure of our best wisdom. We are finding out we need more than the government more than ourselves. We need You, then and only then shall we achieve the true measure of what we see here our prayer to God and grant unto us Your guidance to everlasting peace, we humbly ask in Jesus name. This is a prayer that is been prayed since the beginning of time, because it applies to those situations, those struggles are the places where we find ourselves, or when we depend on government and government can't provide when we depend on ourselves. And we're not all that we need to depend on. When we recognize we need you God in our lives. That's what this prayer speaks. Father, we stand to join our hearts in prayer and our knowledge of our greatest need of Your guidance. That first line is describing the challenge we all face. We know that by ourselves. what that says is we need each other. We live in a competitive world. But we also have a cooperative spirit. Don't let your cooperative spirit go away, and only your cooperative spirit surface. You need both. And we want you to hear us and hear our prayer. Oh God. That's what this says. Have you ever felt like you just didn't know what was going to happen next? Have you ever been a little bewildered? 

That's what this next prayer is about? Our Eternal Father whose kindness and love whose patience is infinite. Hear us again as we pray not because of what we say but because of the deep need that drives us to you. We rest in the thought that Your Love knows no change, else it would not be love at all. We are burdened by things that do not matter. bewildered by problems of our own creation. You have made us heirs of a great heritage and trustees of priceless things yet. We forget the price that was paid by your son Jesus for this heritage and need only acknowledge our shortcomings, and accept the gift of your grace. Make us strong, oh God and conviction, with insight for our times and courage for our testing. Give us the strength that can only come from You to endure and bring our lives in the time with what You want for us, not what You want, not what we want for ourselves, through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen. 

This prayer, I believe, is a message that can be expanded or shortened, as long as it does what this prayer is designed to do, and what it's trying to help us understand we need to do. We need to acknowledge God's kindness, and his patience, and his infinite spirit that has been since the beginning of time, and will be there at the end of time. We know God hears us, we sometimes think he doesn't. But God hears us. And when we pray, we are in fellowship with Him. Not because of what we say, but because of the deep need, that drives us to God. And that's what this is describing. We rest in the thought that Your Love knows no change. It is so something we count on. It helps us more clearly understand that his love for us is so much greater than any love that we can give back. But we strive we try to demonstrate that love by loving others, as we love ourselves. So those are examples of situations, bereavement, and hospital visits, visiting the sick in home in a nursing home, and assisted living, all of those places. The last section here that we're going to talk about is on blessings. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to stop here on this lesson, and we'll pick up on the very next one. Talk to you and see you then, thank you.