Transcript: Eight Principle - Prayer

Video Transcript: Eighth Principle – Prayer

This is the eighth principle and it is in the class on conflict resolution. Certainly meaning to include prayer with the right attitude. Up start out with a couple of actual scripture verses that can support this because please know that the Lord God wants to send protection to your marriage. And this protection could be with specific intervention by God's army. Please reference the following Bible verses to assist you Philippians four, six and seven do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. And this next verse, Psalm 91, and I do have an example of the power of this verse in a marriage whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. 

I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust. Surely he will save you from the fall or snare from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings, you will find refuge His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart, you will not fear the terror of night nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilences that stalk in the darkness or the plague that destroys at midday 1,000 may fall into your side 10,000 it's your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of your wicked. And if you say The Lord is my refuge, and you make the most higher F dwelling no harm will overtake you know disaster will come near your tent, he will command his angels concerning you to guard you all your ways and they will lift up you in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against the stone you will tread in the line and the Cobra you will trample the great right in the serpent, because he loves me says the Lord, I will rescue him. I will rescue this marriage, I will protect them for they acknowledge my name. He will call on me and I will answer him I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him and honor him with long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation. 

This prayer was used in a very specific way. I remember my father telling me a situation and it was before I was born. But he had a brother and his wife and my father only had one brother. And they very much walked with the Lord Jesus and loved each other immensely. Well, this wife, who she was she was my aunt had a very severe car accident. And she was in a coma. And her husband went every day and into the evening hours and sat by her bed and would pray this prayer over her that there was no harm that was going to come to her. And the Lord would restore her. That was his prayer. He did this for six weeks straight and truly against some of the recommendations of the doctors not feeling she would come out of her coma, against recommendations of other medical personnel. And he felt so prompted by the word to continue to pray, covering upon her and to pray for that protection, and that a long life would then be given. At the end of six weeks, she woke up. And she knew everyone. And I remembered my aunt, she was somewhat disabled, but still, with some a little bit with her speech and a little bit with her gait. But she did go on to live an incredibly full life lived into her 70s. And this happened when she was in her 30s. So there was much to be said about the fervency of prayer and thinking in a spiritual warfare manner. 

Because that husbands, my uncle covered his wife, and even in a medical emergency type of situation she woke up. Now I'd like to go on with this particular step, you have a battle plan in place now. But I'd like to talk about some ways to think about how you are going to approach your spouse in prayer. Because this is specifically when there's been conflict. And I would like to give you some ideas for some prayers at the end of this to pray when there's conflict. So these would be some attitudes and some emotions, and some tools for how to approach prayer when there's been conflict, be open. There is no one righteous not even one during times of conflict. It's tempting to be closed minded, believing that you are always right. Be open to the idea of negotiation and working together in a solution rather than being ultimately up committed to having your own way. Openness allows the Holy Spirit to work on both hearts towards an agreement. 

And this will be working in a prayer time as well. How about be selfless and unfriendly person pursues selfish and that against awesome judgment starts quarrels. Most conference began with couples seeking to get their own way. The most selfless act comes out of a willingness to actively listen to your spouse's concerns without the worry of losing an argument. Practice at least one selfless act for your husband or wife every day to help you continue to do so in conflict. And specifically in the prayer realm. How about bringing to the Lord the needs of your spouse, and specifically asking what the Lord would want to show you about the needs of your spouse, or even saying this in front of your spouse. Definitely not being in a selfish way, but looking for what is going to bring healing and comfort to your spouse. 

About be forgiving, be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other just as in Christ, God, you were forgiven. marital conflict is a perfect breeding ground for faultfinding. No one knows you better than your spouse, the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Choosing forgiveness rather than allowing bitterness to take root will bring blessed longevity to your marriage and keep intense conflicts to a minimum. That is extremely important. And because forgiveness is such a necessary fundamental part, to resolve conflict, and to certainly be able to be in a frame of mind to go into prayer with your spouse. There's going to be a whole class later on, just on forgiveness. And that will help much more if this is a place where there is a stronghold. How about the loving, dear children let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. Love is never more evident when you show it in action during a conflict. The agape or unconditional love revealed through you can penetrate through the worst disagreements, showing love disarms an unrepentant and stubborn heart to submit to God's convictions. Know that with a hardened heart, it will be again very difficult to be able to pray and bring that warmth. 

I know when one of my situations, there had been lots and lots of conflict in this relationship. And I so much wanted to get the couple to get to a point to be able to have prayer together. And absolutely, the husband was willing and the wife would have nothing to do with it. The husband had a very strong personality at times, came across controlling, and with some pretty bitter words. I was able to finally allow those folks to be open it was with conversations in our therapy to have some silent prayer. That's the only way the wife would do it. And we actually created a posture where they sat down on the couch together, and he put his arm around her. And then he took a hold of her hand and was just silence. 

She knew that he was praying. But in that moment, his actions were very loving. And she allowed him then to pray. And that's the only way it was able to start with a prayer to help them through conflict. How about be wise, by wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established within as the application of knowledge from the Word of God. When husbands and wives seek our wisdom in a conflict, there's renewed hope for restoration. The Lord generously pours out what needs to be said and what needs to remain unspoken. And how much do we need that when we are having prayer time, because there are certainly things that can be just taken to the Lord.

But there are other things and issues that need to be prayed about and spoken together. So that is extremely important to pray for that wisdom about being gentle. Let your gentleness be evident to all the Lord is near harsh words and attitudes build up anger on both sides. gentleness demonstrated and posture and language makes your spouse feel safe. Safety brings her openness, honesty and transparency because there is not fear of retribution. And thinking of that man earlier. Just the posture of the comfort also brought gentleness and love when he put his arm around his wife and then just held her hand in the silent prayer. Be honest and honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. 

Proverbs 24:26 sometimes sharing truth is difficult because it may stir up conflict or anger. However truth spoken and love can bring the healing necessary for a relationship to grow deeper. The Holy Spirit will always prompt you towards giving an honest answer. And the Holy Spirit will let you know when these issues can be brought up in prayer as well. be transparent nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give a town Hebrews 4:13. Be careful of hidden agendas. No one likes the feeling of being manipulated in a disagreement. Stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit and He will reveal your true heart mode and during the conflict. Your transparency gives evidence of godly character because you have nothing to hide and be brief and is that ended by multiplying words but the pruden hold their tongue, talking in the favor of giving your partner an opportunity to communicate fuels frustration and conflict. Be mindful of sticking to the main issue rather than diverting to unimportant. irritation, self control is integral for couples to share their concerns equally. 

Now, these two together, number eight being transparent. And number nine, being brief, this can create healing for conflict and change and bring such powerful prayers. I was aware of a situation and it happened years ago, but it was because I was working with a woman who had went through a divorce. And how this had happened is she had been married to a man who was in Christian service. And he was an extremely strong personality. And they had two children together. And she had felt that she wanted to definitely be in her marriage and understand her role in this Christian ministry. However, she felt she did not have a say, she was told how to dress, she was told what to speak, she was told what to cook and how to prepare for if they had some hospitality needs. Well, she became involved with a man who was connected to this ministry, and ended up having an affair. Well, when the affair was found out, the husband of this woman would say things like we are going to go to prayer. And we are going to pray because there is going to be repentance. And there is going to be the knowledge. And I'm going to be asking God, to make sure that this is never done again, and to bring some type of retribution. 

That's how it was handled. And every time there was prayer, that's the feeling that she got, then it ended up being known to the people that were associated with this Christian ministry. And it was the same type of thing. In fact, she was brought before the board with this Christian ministry. And she was asked to take some time away and not even be able to come to church. That was part of the consequence. And they said to her, we'll be praying about this. But there was never any personal prayer, with being honest, loving, brief from the people in this organization, or from her husband, that marriage went down. 

She ended up leaving her husband and years later, looking back in a conversation, in a therapy time with me realized that there could have been some very key moments where discussion and prayer in a loving, honest, transparent and gentle way could have changed that situation. She realized her part in that but she also realized how much her heart would have received that. And there could have been healing for the conflict on their marriage that ended in divorce. It would have been with humbleness to that particular situation. So rather in humility, value others above yourself, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to interest of others. 

Philippians 2:3-4, your spouse is the easiest target from this place, anger and frustration. When you humbly allow your spouse's best interest to take first place. There's grace from God to work things out. A humble husband or wife reveals the true nature of a reborn spirit during times of controversy. And again, that marriage I was just speaking about, I do believe with now my years of being a Christian therapist, it could have been saved. Now I'd like to share a couple of prayers that specifically can be given to the folks that you are working with it is as a pastor and working with your couple or as a counselor. This one is when there is miscommunication in marriage, dear Lord, you know what path I am on right now and that I'm in agony, I'm having disharmony in my married life. You have instituted marriage since you found that it is not good for man to be alone. I deeply believe that you have given me my wife or husband to love and to hold for the rest of my days. 

The Bible has taught me that a three fold cord is not quickly broken. Come and be with us Lord, for only you can make two broken hearts understand each other. You are the king of peace. And I know you're able to change any sad situation in my life. Father, I noticed your will that we should lead a loving and peaceful life with one another. Hear me dear God, to fill us both with more love and to understand each other better to bring unity to our relationship help me become more understanding to my wife, or husband's needs and feelings. 

And here's another one prayer to heal a relationship. Dear Lord, I offer you this prayer to help me with my current marriage situation. Please take away all the pain and hurt in my heart. Fill it with love, joy, patience and understanding. Bless me and my spouse so that we may never surrender to whatever challenges that come our way. fill our hearts with love for each other and may you make each one of us realize each other's worth. Please touch the heart of my spouse, Fill it was much love for me, make our complicated relationship become uncomplicated. I seek for your mercy and blessing that you may allow us to spend the rest of our lives with each other. Please make this feeling mutual for both of us, lead us not into temptations, guide us wherever we go. Allow and always put us in each other's heart and mind. Thank you, Lord, for hearing my prayer. I love you. 

Now those are purse specifically for when there is conflict and issues in the relationship. And please feel free to reference. These are a couple of prayers in the PDF file that are more just for covering in general marriage concerns. But all of these as a way to bring final healing and to bring fulfillment and resolution and those conflict issues and the covering that prayer can bring, Thank you