Transcript: Lesson 17 - Being the Family of God

Friends, welcome. In this unit we're thinking about singleness. And how singleness is  integrated into the story of Jesus. How how singleness points to the reality of the self giving  love of Jesus. And part of what we talked about last time was the biblical view of celibacy,  understanding a little bit more about what it is and what it isn't. One of the things that is  striking about the celibacy, as Paul talks about it is that there is this sense in which it  recognizes that the kingdom of God is ultimate, and has this kind of undivided focus on the  kingdom of God. This is part of why Jesus himself embraces singleness, because he has a  mission, he has a focus. And it's not that having a spouse is wrong or bad, or having children  is wrong or bad that they're good. But that in his life and mission, in his calling, he recognized  that the only way he could fulfill that mission and calling was in through the mode of  singleness. And through that motive of celibacy and commitment to the kingdom of God. Paul  himself recognizes that in his life, it's, it's being single, that actually gives him the freedom to  do what he does to travel around on these missionary journeys, planting churches and, and  having this sort of singular laser focus on the kingdom of God. And so this is important to  recognize that for those who are called to singleness, those who are called to celibacy, their  life points to the reality of Jesus and His mission and his focus on the kingdom of God. Well, in  this video, I want to reflect a little bit more than on what it means to be the family of God.  And how it is that we are called to married and single be the family of God together. So I want  you to see that there's a shared vocation, what do married and single people have in  common? They have in common this vocation of bearing witness to God's kingdom, that, that  for single folks like Jesus, like Paul, there's a sense in which they're able to do this as their sort of first focus, without having to think about how is this going to affect my spouse? How is this  going to affect my child? Now, I want to be clear that that doesn't mean married people put  the kingdom of God second, but it means that the way they seek the kingdom of God is going  to have to be on through that mode of marriage, where they they are concerned with, am I  taking good care of my spouse, am I taking good care of my children, and recognizing that as  they take care of their spouse and children, that that is putting on display this Christ like self  sacrificial love, but then it takes married and single people working together to bear witness  to God's kingdom. Part of what this also means is that we have to reflect on how we set up  our households. Oftentimes, we, at least in North American context, our households are very  much limited to the folks, you know, our spouses and our children, the nuclear family. And so I wonder if part of really being the family of God involves a kind of hospitality that recognizes  that if, if we truly are the family of God, then our households need to be open, they need to  be hospitable, they need to be places where other people feel comfortable, where they where  they feel at home. So this is, this is something that we have to reflect on. Do we need to  structure our households so that our meals are open that there's actual table fellowship that  is happening as we invite folks in to to celebrate with us who we are in Christ and what Jesus  has done? That if there are people who are on holidays, or who on special occasions, don't  have family don't have spouses to connect with are those people on our radar so that we are  welcoming, welcoming them into our family, welcoming them into to how we live, and how we function. And maybe that goes beyond even just including people from time to time in meals  or having times of fellowship in the home. Maybe that includes even thinking about having  people live with you. This is something that our family has done at certain times throughout  our life is have college students who actually will live with our family, we try to be hospitable  and open our homes, recognizing that this is both a way that that we can minister to them  and that they end up ministering to us in that context, as well. That Jesus calls us I think in  that way to do something different where people are going to look and say, well, that's that's  kind of strange. Your household isn't just for your immediate family, the household isn't just  about you. But there's something else going on here that can then point to the reality of the  gospel. So as we give and receive hospitality, this, I think, helps form these bonds as the new  family of God, and helps show the world what it looks like to experience the love and grace of  Jesus. This is something that we we have to figure out how to do I think, in everyday Patterns  of Life. In other words, it can't just be a Sunday morning thing. It can't just be how do we  incorporate people better into the Sunday morning church experience? Or how do we  incorporate people better into small groups, but it does have to be something where we think 

about what are the rhythms of everyday life. Part of the rhythms of of everyday life might  include things like sporting events might include recreational events, things we do for fun,  might include your work housework things we do around the house yard work, how is it that  that our lives can become more intertwined with our brothers and sisters in Christ? So that  again, this isn't it's not just a once a week? How do we be more inclusive? Maybe in a broader  church setting? But it has to do with how are we each individually and in our family? How are  we finding ways to connect, and to grow and to build each other up so that we actually are  functioning as the family of God? Right, when I think about how how family operates, part of  that part of what it means to be a family is that you are with each other day in and day out.  It's it's not just something that you kind of do every every so often. Maybe it is with extended  family, but with your brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, those are folks that you do life with  that you spend your life together. And so when scripture talks about who we are as a family of God, it really forces us, I think, to think about what are these patterns, everyday Patterns of  Life, that are going to draw people in and that are going to make people both married and  single function better as members of the Body of Christ. Because, you know, quite honestly,  we, we might talk about, we might tend to stereotypically think of single people, as single  people are alone or single people struggle with loneliness, people struggle with, you know,  feeling maybe left out or not included. But the truth is what I've seen in my own marriage, in  my experience of talking to others in marriages that marriage, and family can also be  isolating. If you're, you know, if you're a parent with young children, a lot of times you feel  alone, there's only so much you can do because you're you're caring for children, you're just  trying to maintain and survive daily life you can, you can feel very lonely, very disconnected.  And so part of what we have to do here is recognize that we all have needs, and we all need  to be open to how we can be more hospitable, how we can connect in in deeper ways. So that as married folks, as single folks, we are being the family of God, helping people understand  who Jesus really is and his love for us, by the way that our lives are interconnected with each  other. And so as we think about being the family of God, I do want to reflect a little bit on  marriage, and celibacy. And, you know, maybe think about a little bit more about when should somebody consider marriage? Part of what Paul says in I Corinthians 7 is, is interesting, okay,  he says, When should somebody consider marriage, if they are single, and if they are not  exercising, control, self control, verse 9, his point here is not, it's actually important to see it's  a present state, it's not just somebody who's like struggling or thinking about not exercising  self control. He's essentially saying, Look, if you are, this is basically a little bit nicer way of  saying, if you're sexually active with somebody, then you're not exercising self control, you  need to actually get married to them, not just be sexually active with them, because again, as we talked about sexual sexual union marriage go together. So he's saying, Look, if this is  where you are, then you need to not just not just speak this body language of sexual union,  but you need to actually make this life commitment of marriage. It's also interesting to see  what he says a little bit further on this passage, because he says, It's better to marry than to  burn with passion. Now, it's really important. And its really interesting to see what he doesn't  say He doesn't say, What's better to have sex than the burn with passion. Like, if you're just  burning with passion, okay? You need an outlet. So just have sex. That's what a lot of people  thought in their culture. That's why in I Corinthians 6, there's a lot of men who are just going  to have sex with prostitutes. He says, No, it's better to marry than to burn with passion.  Remember, marriage involves this, this, in essence, is dying to self as Christ like, self  sacrificial love. So, Paul, I want to be clear, he's not saying this. flippantly like, oh, just get  married. Instead of burning with passion, he's, he's saying, Okay, if if you find yourself in this  position, recognize that you need to enter in this state that's calling you to come and die. You  know, Paul's not giving somebody an easy outlet here, he's he's saying, recognize that you  need to enter into marriage, if this is where you find yourself in this state of being sexually  active with somebody. commit your life to them, commit yourself to them. take that next step. One commentator, though pointed out, Paul says it's better to marry than to burn with  passion. But he also says it's better to burn with passion than to sin. And so he's not saying  here in any way, shape or form, he's never saying, just give into sin, just just go ahead and do this. He's saying, recognize the proper context, recognize what marriage really means 

recognize what sex really means. And enter into that. But if you're not, if you will look at that  and say, I'm not ready for marriage. That's not right. For me, that's what not what God is  calling me to do. Then it's better to stay single. He's not saying just get married no matter  what. And so the solution here. For somebody who he says, if they're not exercising self  control, the solution is not sex. But marriage, it's actually calling you into this relationship of  coming to die to self. And so I want to be, I want to be really careful here and really clear. He's not saying just anybody get married, he's also not, you know, he's not saying that if your  problem is lack of self control in marriages, because it's just going to solve your self control  problem. But he is saying, get married, embrace this call to come and die to yourself. Because this is what this is what Jesus is calling you to remember Jesus teaching on marriage, Jesus  says, this is, this is hard. This is laying down your life, for somebody. And so. So there's  something here, as I think, to recognize to reflect on a little bit, when is, when might I be  called to marriage. He wants to be clear, you're if you are failing to exercise, self control, then  you you're called to grow in your self control, you're called or your called to get married. And  in the process of of marriage, understand what self control really is, understand what it means to give yourself totally to somebody. And in that way, overcome that kind of passion. That is  just a very much a self centered passion that's maybe seeking what I can get out of this. Now  we think about how marriage and celibacy play off each other, I want to highlight just a  couple things, again, to see how they're connected. First is a both participate in the spousal  meaning of the body, that single people, even if they are not, spouses, participate in the  spousal meaning of the body, the spousal meaning of the body is that I come to truly  understand who Jesus caused me to be, when I give myself away, when I serve in this way  that Jesus does. Now, as a husband, my wife is going to be the main outlet for that in my  relationship, but for a single person, if you don't have a spouse, you are still called to serve to  give yourself away. And so this is where we have to see singleness doesn't mean it doesn't  mean shoo, I'm off the hook, I can kind of just do what I want, I can make myself the center of my life, I can serve myself, please myself, because here's what I want to do. You know,  nobody else is going to tell me what to watch on Netflix, or where I'm going to go out for  dinner that that's all in my control. Both participate in the spousal meaning of the body. So a  single person no less than a married person is called to understand what does it mean to give myself away? What does it mean to serve? What does it mean to care for others in the  kingdom of God? Now, as a celibate person, you're not going to participate in sexual union,  because you're not married. But you are still called to intimacy and deep personal connection  with other Christians. You're still called to, to love and to be loved. You're still called to be that  remember that brother and sister in the body of Christ. I would also like to point out that in in  North American culture, especially when when sexuality is devalued, both marriage and  celibacy are devalued. And so the way we look at sex is just kind of a purely physical thing or  something where everybody just kind of makes up their own meaning of what it is or what it's  about. You know, when that happens, when sexuality gets devalued, we don't really, really  value marriage, which explains in part why the numbers are declining in terms of people  being married. We also don't value celibacy, though either. I said before, people like oh, you're celibate, that doesn't even I don't really have a grid or a framework to, to fit that in. Because  our culture is so much about seeking pleasure through sex, seeking fulfillment through sex,  oftentimes using other people through sex for what that might do for me. And so we need to  recognize as Christians, that we hold both of these up that that marriage is good that we  understand how that points to the love of Jesus, that singleness is good that if we understand  what celibate singleness is, in a lot of ways, it's, it's participating in this reality of Christ's self  giving love, right, following the steps of the single savior. And then finally, I think it's  important to see that both of these things mutually interpret one another. What do I mean by  that? I mean, partly that we need both marriage and celibacy to really give us this full picture  of the Gospel story of Jesus. And so, you know, as a married person, when I give myself to my  spouse, when I devote myself to them, you know, this is part of what it means to be married,  or what a good marriage should look like is that I'm thinking, what's good for my wife, what's  best for her, how can I love her serve her care for her, that always has to be on my radar, that should always be on my radar. And so when a single person looks at me, part of what they 

say, is, wow, being single doesn't just mean I'm free of responsibility. There's a sense in which as I see, my married friends, who are loving and giving themselves for their spouse, I realized  as a single person, then that I am supposed to have that kind of love and devotion and  service to the body of Christ to the kingdom of God. Now, similarly, as a married person, when I see a celibate single person, and I recognize that they're living out this this way of life that  we see in Jesus, this way of life that Paul calls people to that says, Man, if you're single,  there's a sense in which you can be laser focused on the kingdom of God of seeking first the  kingdom. That that's important for me as a married person, because I realized that even my  marriage needs to be oriented by Christ's kingdom. But ultimately, what I am seeking first is  not just the good of my marriage, reading go to my spouse, it's that I'm seeking first the  kingdom of God, and that I'm doing that in this mode of marriage, but that my marriage has  to be oriented toward that. That's why Paul actually says a little bit later in I Corinthians 7:29,  he says, you know, those who are married should live as if not his point, there is not that you  just ignore your spouse, or you're like, Oh, I'm not I'm just ignoring them. Paul says, live as if  you're not married. But part of what he's saying there is that if we recognize the kingdom of  God, if we recognize where we're at, that Jesus has come, that he has made all things new,  and that he's at work in His Spirit, then my marriage is not the be all and end all. So that's  what I mean when I say that marriage and celibacy mutually interpret each other that my  marriage is not the be all and end all because the soul of that person who's seeking first the  Kingdom, helps me understand the way that my marriage needs to be oriented by the  kingdom. And in the same way, my devotion to my spouse, helps the celibate single person  understand what it means for them, to be oriented toward the kingdom to be fully devoted to  the kingdom not just to be to be free or seeking their own good but to be oriented buy  something beyond them. Now, in the next video, we're going to spend a little bit of time  thinking about how celibacy actually points us ahead to the life to come to the life of the  resurrection, and reflect a little bit on that as we think more about how celibacy and  singleness are woven into the story of Jesus. Until next time, blessings