Transcript: Lesson 17 - Being the Family of God
Friends, welcome. In this unit we're thinking about singleness. And how singleness is integrated into the story of Jesus. How how singleness points to the reality of the self giving love of Jesus. And part of what we talked about last time was the biblical view of celibacy, understanding a little bit more about what it is and what it isn't. One of the things that is striking about the celibacy, as Paul talks about it is that there is this sense in which it recognizes that the kingdom of God is ultimate, and has this kind of undivided focus on the kingdom of God. This is part of why Jesus himself embraces singleness, because he has a mission, he has a focus. And it's not that having a spouse is wrong or bad, or having children is wrong or bad that they're good. But that in his life and mission, in his calling, he recognized that the only way he could fulfill that mission and calling was in through the mode of singleness. And through that motive of celibacy and commitment to the kingdom of God. Paul himself recognizes that in his life, it's, it's being single, that actually gives him the freedom to do what he does to travel around on these missionary journeys, planting churches and, and having this sort of singular laser focus on the kingdom of God. And so this is important to recognize that for those who are called to singleness, those who are called to celibacy, their life points to the reality of Jesus and His mission and his focus on the kingdom of God. Well, in this video, I want to reflect a little bit more than on what it means to be the family of God. And how it is that we are called to married and single be the family of God together. So I want you to see that there's a shared vocation, what do married and single people have in common? They have in common this vocation of bearing witness to God's kingdom, that, that for single folks like Jesus, like Paul, there's a sense in which they're able to do this as their sort of first focus, without having to think about how is this going to affect my spouse? How is this going to affect my child? Now, I want to be clear that that doesn't mean married people put the kingdom of God second, but it means that the way they seek the kingdom of God is going to have to be on through that mode of marriage, where they they are concerned with, am I taking good care of my spouse, am I taking good care of my children, and recognizing that as they take care of their spouse and children, that that is putting on display this Christ like self sacrificial love, but then it takes married and single people working together to bear witness to God's kingdom. Part of what this also means is that we have to reflect on how we set up our households. Oftentimes, we, at least in North American context, our households are very much limited to the folks, you know, our spouses and our children, the nuclear family. And so I wonder if part of really being the family of God involves a kind of hospitality that recognizes that if, if we truly are the family of God, then our households need to be open, they need to be hospitable, they need to be places where other people feel comfortable, where they where they feel at home. So this is, this is something that we have to reflect on. Do we need to structure our households so that our meals are open that there's actual table fellowship that is happening as we invite folks in to to celebrate with us who we are in Christ and what Jesus has done? That if there are people who are on holidays, or who on special occasions, don't have family don't have spouses to connect with are those people on our radar so that we are welcoming, welcoming them into our family, welcoming them into to how we live, and how we function. And maybe that goes beyond even just including people from time to time in meals or having times of fellowship in the home. Maybe that includes even thinking about having people live with you. This is something that our family has done at certain times throughout our life is have college students who actually will live with our family, we try to be hospitable and open our homes, recognizing that this is both a way that that we can minister to them and that they end up ministering to us in that context, as well. That Jesus calls us I think in that way to do something different where people are going to look and say, well, that's that's kind of strange. Your household isn't just for your immediate family, the household isn't just about you. But there's something else going on here that can then point to the reality of the gospel. So as we give and receive hospitality, this, I think, helps form these bonds as the new family of God, and helps show the world what it looks like to experience the love and grace of Jesus. This is something that we we have to figure out how to do I think, in everyday Patterns of Life. In other words, it can't just be a Sunday morning thing. It can't just be how do we incorporate people better into the Sunday morning church experience? Or how do we incorporate people better into small groups, but it does have to be something where we think about what are the rhythms of everyday life. Part of the rhythms of of everyday life might include things like sporting events might include recreational events, things we do for fun, might include your work housework things we do around the house yard work, how is it that that our lives can become more intertwined with our brothers and sisters in Christ? So that again, this isn't it's not just a once a week? How do we be more inclusive? Maybe in a broader church setting? But it has to do with how are we each individually and in our family? How are we finding ways to connect, and to grow and to build each other up so that we actually are functioning as the family of God? Right, when I think about how how family operates, part of that part of what it means to be a family is that you are with each other day in and day out. It's it's not just something that you kind of do every every so often. Maybe it is with extended family, but with your brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, those are folks that you do life with that you spend your life together. And so when scripture talks about who we are as a family of God, it really forces us, I think, to think about what are these patterns, everyday Patterns of Life, that are going to draw people in and that are going to make people both married and single function better as members of the Body of Christ. Because, you know, quite honestly, we, we might talk about, we might tend to stereotypically think of single people, as single people are alone or single people struggle with loneliness, people struggle with, you know, feeling maybe left out or not included. But the truth is what I've seen in my own marriage, in my experience of talking to others in marriages that marriage, and family can also be isolating. If you're, you know, if you're a parent with young children, a lot of times you feel alone, there's only so much you can do because you're you're caring for children, you're just trying to maintain and survive daily life you can, you can feel very lonely, very disconnected. And so part of what we have to do here is recognize that we all have needs, and we all need to be open to how we can be more hospitable, how we can connect in in deeper ways. So that as married folks, as single folks, we are being the family of God, helping people understand who Jesus really is and his love for us, by the way that our lives are interconnected with each other. And so as we think about being the family of God, I do want to reflect a little bit on marriage, and celibacy. And, you know, maybe think about a little bit more about when should somebody consider marriage? Part of what Paul says in I Corinthians 7 is, is interesting, okay, he says, When should somebody consider marriage, if they are single, and if they are not exercising, control, self control, verse 9, his point here is not, it's actually important to see it's a present state, it's not just somebody who's like struggling or thinking about not exercising self control. He's essentially saying, Look, if you are, this is basically a little bit nicer way of saying, if you're sexually active with somebody, then you're not exercising self control, you need to actually get married to them, not just be sexually active with them, because again, as we talked about sexual sexual union marriage go together. So he's saying, Look, if this is where you are, then you need to not just not just speak this body language of sexual union, but you need to actually make this life commitment of marriage. It's also interesting to see what he says a little bit further on this passage, because he says, It's better to marry than to burn with passion. Now, it's really important. And its really interesting to see what he doesn't say He doesn't say, What's better to have sex than the burn with passion. Like, if you're just burning with passion, okay? You need an outlet. So just have sex. That's what a lot of people thought in their culture. That's why in I Corinthians 6, there's a lot of men who are just going to have sex with prostitutes. He says, No, it's better to marry than to burn with passion. Remember, marriage involves this, this, in essence, is dying to self as Christ like, self sacrificial love. So, Paul, I want to be clear, he's not saying this. flippantly like, oh, just get married. Instead of burning with passion, he's, he's saying, Okay, if if you find yourself in this position, recognize that you need to enter in this state that's calling you to come and die. You know, Paul's not giving somebody an easy outlet here, he's he's saying, recognize that you need to enter into marriage, if this is where you find yourself in this state of being sexually active with somebody. commit your life to them, commit yourself to them. take that next step. One commentator, though pointed out, Paul says it's better to marry than to burn with passion. But he also says it's better to burn with passion than to sin. And so he's not saying here in any way, shape or form, he's never saying, just give into sin, just just go ahead and do this. He's saying, recognize the proper context, recognize what marriage really means recognize what sex really means. And enter into that. But if you're not, if you will look at that and say, I'm not ready for marriage. That's not right. For me, that's what not what God is calling me to do. Then it's better to stay single. He's not saying just get married no matter what. And so the solution here. For somebody who he says, if they're not exercising self control, the solution is not sex. But marriage, it's actually calling you into this relationship of coming to die to self. And so I want to be, I want to be really careful here and really clear. He's not saying just anybody get married, he's also not, you know, he's not saying that if your problem is lack of self control in marriages, because it's just going to solve your self control problem. But he is saying, get married, embrace this call to come and die to yourself. Because this is what this is what Jesus is calling you to remember Jesus teaching on marriage, Jesus says, this is, this is hard. This is laying down your life, for somebody. And so. So there's something here, as I think, to recognize to reflect on a little bit, when is, when might I be called to marriage. He wants to be clear, you're if you are failing to exercise, self control, then you you're called to grow in your self control, you're called or your called to get married. And in the process of of marriage, understand what self control really is, understand what it means to give yourself totally to somebody. And in that way, overcome that kind of passion. That is just a very much a self centered passion that's maybe seeking what I can get out of this. Now we think about how marriage and celibacy play off each other, I want to highlight just a couple things, again, to see how they're connected. First is a both participate in the spousal meaning of the body, that single people, even if they are not, spouses, participate in the spousal meaning of the body, the spousal meaning of the body is that I come to truly understand who Jesus caused me to be, when I give myself away, when I serve in this way that Jesus does. Now, as a husband, my wife is going to be the main outlet for that in my relationship, but for a single person, if you don't have a spouse, you are still called to serve to give yourself away. And so this is where we have to see singleness doesn't mean it doesn't mean shoo, I'm off the hook, I can kind of just do what I want, I can make myself the center of my life, I can serve myself, please myself, because here's what I want to do. You know, nobody else is going to tell me what to watch on Netflix, or where I'm going to go out for dinner that that's all in my control. Both participate in the spousal meaning of the body. So a single person no less than a married person is called to understand what does it mean to give myself away? What does it mean to serve? What does it mean to care for others in the kingdom of God? Now, as a celibate person, you're not going to participate in sexual union, because you're not married. But you are still called to intimacy and deep personal connection with other Christians. You're still called to, to love and to be loved. You're still called to be that remember that brother and sister in the body of Christ. I would also like to point out that in in North American culture, especially when when sexuality is devalued, both marriage and celibacy are devalued. And so the way we look at sex is just kind of a purely physical thing or something where everybody just kind of makes up their own meaning of what it is or what it's about. You know, when that happens, when sexuality gets devalued, we don't really, really value marriage, which explains in part why the numbers are declining in terms of people being married. We also don't value celibacy, though either. I said before, people like oh, you're celibate, that doesn't even I don't really have a grid or a framework to, to fit that in. Because our culture is so much about seeking pleasure through sex, seeking fulfillment through sex, oftentimes using other people through sex for what that might do for me. And so we need to recognize as Christians, that we hold both of these up that that marriage is good that we understand how that points to the love of Jesus, that singleness is good that if we understand what celibate singleness is, in a lot of ways, it's, it's participating in this reality of Christ's self giving love, right, following the steps of the single savior. And then finally, I think it's important to see that both of these things mutually interpret one another. What do I mean by that? I mean, partly that we need both marriage and celibacy to really give us this full picture of the Gospel story of Jesus. And so, you know, as a married person, when I give myself to my spouse, when I devote myself to them, you know, this is part of what it means to be married, or what a good marriage should look like is that I'm thinking, what's good for my wife, what's best for her, how can I love her serve her care for her, that always has to be on my radar, that should always be on my radar. And so when a single person looks at me, part of what they say, is, wow, being single doesn't just mean I'm free of responsibility. There's a sense in which as I see, my married friends, who are loving and giving themselves for their spouse, I realized as a single person, then that I am supposed to have that kind of love and devotion and service to the body of Christ to the kingdom of God. Now, similarly, as a married person, when I see a celibate single person, and I recognize that they're living out this this way of life that we see in Jesus, this way of life that Paul calls people to that says, Man, if you're single, there's a sense in which you can be laser focused on the kingdom of God of seeking first the kingdom. That that's important for me as a married person, because I realized that even my marriage needs to be oriented by Christ's kingdom. But ultimately, what I am seeking first is not just the good of my marriage, reading go to my spouse, it's that I'm seeking first the kingdom of God, and that I'm doing that in this mode of marriage, but that my marriage has to be oriented toward that. That's why Paul actually says a little bit later in I Corinthians 7:29, he says, you know, those who are married should live as if not his point, there is not that you just ignore your spouse, or you're like, Oh, I'm not I'm just ignoring them. Paul says, live as if you're not married. But part of what he's saying there is that if we recognize the kingdom of God, if we recognize where we're at, that Jesus has come, that he has made all things new, and that he's at work in His Spirit, then my marriage is not the be all and end all. So that's what I mean when I say that marriage and celibacy mutually interpret each other that my marriage is not the be all and end all because the soul of that person who's seeking first the Kingdom, helps me understand the way that my marriage needs to be oriented by the kingdom. And in the same way, my devotion to my spouse, helps the celibate single person understand what it means for them, to be oriented toward the kingdom to be fully devoted to the kingdom not just to be to be free or seeking their own good but to be oriented buy something beyond them. Now, in the next video, we're going to spend a little bit of time thinking about how celibacy actually points us ahead to the life to come to the life of the resurrection, and reflect a little bit on that as we think more about how celibacy and singleness are woven into the story of Jesus. Until next time, blessings