Transcript: Lesson 21 - Common Questions and Objections

Friends, welcome. We are thinking about procreation and contraception, thinking about how  our bodies communicate something of the Gospel story, and how the tendency that many  people have in our culture to treat our bodies as our own to do with whatever we want,  oftentimes actually falls into the story of naturalism, the story of technology that really says  we're nothing but biology, we're nothing but matter. And if we recognize that there is this  deep meaning to sexual union and marriage, that we need to ask, can we just alter our  bodies, so that we're not so we don't have procreative capabilities in sexual union? Well, I  want to in this video deal with a couple of questions and objections that I can see somebody  raising, again, it's, I would say, more common than not in our culture that even Christians use  contraception. And so I want to think about some potential questions that people might ask.  One is, this is a common one. Does this mean then that infertile couples, couples who  struggle struggle with infertility? Are they immoral? Or do they have illegitimate marriages?  You know, maybe maybe something is, is wrong biologically or physically that they can't  procreate? Does this mean that they can't have sex or that their marriages is not legitimate?  The answer here is, I want to be very clear, is that no, they are not in the world. No, they do  not have illegitimate marriages, we recognize that one of the ways that we are affected by sin in the fall includes our physical capabilities. And so if there is something that's gone wrong in  our bodies, that affects our procreative abilities, that doesn't mean you can't have sex with  your spouse. Right? Because you're not, you're not intentionally closing down those  capabilities, but rather, something has gone wrong in the natural processes there. And so I  think it's, it's important to recognize this, in our next unit will actually come back and talk a  little bit more about infertility and struggles with that and pastoral care around that, that that  can be done. Because that is an enormous struggle that folks often walk through. Second  question, Does this mean the main goal of intercourse is to have a child? My answer to this  would be? No, I'm not saying that. Well, the the main, or here's how a lot of people misread  this and take this in a problematic direction. People will say, Well, so are you telling me that  my main goal is it's not to enjoy my spouse or to enjoy the physical pleasure of sexual union,  but that really, maybe we also have to be thinking about oh, really, I really hope a child  results from this act. No, I'm not saying I'm not saying that the main goal, or and I'm  especially not saying the only goal of intercourse is to have a child that sexual union unifies  husband and wife, sexual union does bring pleasure. But I'm saying that one goal of  intercourse, one part of the meaning of intercourse of sexual union, is this openness to  children. But I'm not saying that has to be the main goal. That has to be the main focus. So I  think it's really important to to make that distinction. Third question, does this mean both  spouses must desire a child in order to make sex within marriage morally right? Does that  make sense? Does this mean both spouses must desire a child in order to make sex within  marriage? Morally, right? No, no. So here's what I'm not saying. I'm not saying again, that you  have to go into every time I'm gonna have sex with my spouse. I have to like subjectively,  internally desire that now, I really hope and pray that a child results from this act of sexual  union. I'm not saying that right. In fact, part of what I'm saying here is that maybe even  subjectively, you're like, Oh, I actually kind of hope the child doesn't result from this. I, you  know, I don't think maybe we can handle it right now, it seems, seems too difficult. I don't  think God is calling us to have children right now. But there's a difference between the  subjective sense of like, wow, I hope a child, you know, maybe we're not, we're not in a place  for children right now. It's different. I'm not saying that subjective sense is wrong. But I am  saying there's something to the objective reality of our bodies, that what I'm saying is that  maybe we need to consider that it could be wrong to actually close down the procreative  possibilities of our body to actually to interrupt to stop the process that will lead to  procreation. And so, so I'm not saying that we have to have this internal subjective desire just  to have like a bunch of kids have more kids all the time. But I'm saying that the actual act of  sexual union needs to remain objectively open that we don't close down our procreative  capabilities. And then finally, some people might ask, Does this mean that every act of  intercourse should lead to a child? Again, the answer here is no, I'm not saying that sexual  union to be to be really truly valid, it has to lead to children. I'm not saying that. I'm saying  that what I am saying is part of the meaning of sexual union, part of the meaning of marriage 

is this openness and hospitality is that we allow the fruitfulness of our bodies to, to essentially work as our bodies should. And so we're not saying every act of intercourse should lead to a  child, we can even see from the way God designed our bodies, specifically, women's bodies,  that not every act of intercourse does lead to a child that women are not fertile all the time.  And so the point here is not that every single act of intercourse should lead to a child, but  rather that every act of intercourse should remain open to the possibility of children because  that's part of the meaning of our sexuality, that's part of the meaning of marriage is that life  giving love leads to new life? A couple common objections to this and um, you know, if you  find yourself in a spot where like, I'm just trying to absorb all this, I don't even know what to  think. That's fine. Like I said, In the beginning, this is this, I think, is really food for thought  where I would I would love it, if you would just contemplate this a little bit more, you know,  prayerfully. Think about, you know, what is the meaning of our bodies? What is the meaning  of marriage, and sexuality? But a few objections that I sometimes hear one. So people will  say, look, human control, and technology is not bad. Like if, for example, if you have a  headache, you pop a couple aspirin, right? But that's not that's not a problem. That's not an  issue. I would, I would totally agree with that point. But here's where we go back to the earlier slide about medical technology, I think it's totally legitimate to take a couple aspirin, if  something is going wrong, right? If you had a headache, something's going wrong in your  body. So you seek to correct that. I would just raise the question. Is it legitimate to do that  even in areas where your body's working fine? Do you have do you think you have the right to just sort of freely do whatever you want with your body, even if it's even if it's working fine.  So the point here, that I'm making is not that healing controller technology is bad. That's,  that's not the point of this argument. The point is that we have to be clear about when we can and should intervene in our bodies, or when we should not intervene in our bodies. A second  objection is one that this is more a philosophical label, the principles totality. And part of the  idea here is that if the totality of somebody's marriage or sexual relationship is, is open to  children, then it's okay, if some of the specific sexual encounters are not. In other words, you  could say, well, maybe this, this couples getting married, and for the first couple years of their life, they just really don't think they're called have kids. So they're going to use contraception, but they're open to children down the road. And so because their their marriage as a whole is  open at certain points to children, then, then that's okay. I see the point there. And I think I  mean, I would certainly agree that that is better than somebody who would get married and  say, you know, we're never having kids. We're not doing that. Because I think, personally, at  least where I'm at on this, I have a hard time looking at Scripture and saying, I'm going to get  married, but I'm gonna choose to have no kids. I think Scripture connects children and  marriage and sexual union in this way. But the principle of totality. You know, I kind of wonder, if you think back to the previous slide, I kind of wonder how people would approach some of  these other qualities I've mentioned sexual union should be free, total faithful, fruitful, you  know, I think, I think was something like say freedom. People would pretty clearly recognize  that applies to every single act of sexual union within marriage. Like if you if your spouse  does, it does not consent and you force sex on them. That is That is wrong. And so it was well  every other time I, you know, I wasn't forceful. So principle of totality says you in general I'm,  I'm, I fit that category, but maybe this once or twice or we can say like, well, principle of  totality of faithfulness, like I'm faithful to my spouse most of the time, but maybe it's been  one or two instances, I'm not faithful sexually, then it's still as a whole. I'm so mostly faithful. I think, at least when I think about those different criteria, I think we would look at those and  say, No, it's not something that just applies to the whole big picture. But something that  applies to each and every act of sexual union has to fit these criteria for it to really be what  God intended it to be. For it really to function as this, this sign and pointer. The third  objection, is this. Does the Bible really speak to this? And this is something that I hear, I think, rightly, people want to make sure. And I want to make sure that if I'm, if I'm saying to people,  Hey, this is what I think Scripture teaches, we want to be sure that Scripture is clear on this,  that there's not a kind of gray area, or it's not like, well, each person can just just pick and  choose. And so, you know, here's where I'm at when I think about this question. At this point,  you know, I recognize that the Bible doesn't come out and have this sort of direct command, 

like we like you find in the Ten Commandments, Thou shalt not kill. Bible doesn't come right  out and say, Thou shall not use birth control, well, you'll probably wouldn't use that to a  language because it's, it's written in a different time and place. So I recognize that it might  not speak directly to this. But I think you could still say that if you look at what we've covered  so far, in this course, when we think about what marriage is, what sexual union is, the  meaning of that, and especially if we take our bodies seriously that, that our bodies matter,  they're they're not purely physical, purely biological entities that we can just kind of shape  and warp or do with whenever we want. And then I think you start to see how, with the broad  biblical story as a background, why you would conclude that procreation is a central part of  sexual union, part of marriage part of our sexuality, is that it's something that is we enter into life giving love with our spouse, that new life actually results from that. And so you know, I'll  freely acknowledge if you're looking for direct command, that you're not going to find that.  But I would just encourage you, again, to continue to reflect on the material that we've looked at so far. And think about that, and even think about the overall, I think there's an overall  posture of openness and hospitality in our marriage and sexual union. That is, it's a pretty  powerful spiritual discipline that says, At the end of the day, I'm not in control. It's not about  what I want to do with my body. But rather, I'm recognizing that just as Jesus gave himself  fully to me, so as I give myself fully to my spouse, this, this has the reality of bringing forth  new life. And so when I think about the story of procreation in the story of Jesus, I see them  tied together in this way that as I've just said, self giving love, and life goes together. That,  especially when we think about this specific relationship of marriage, where I'm called to give  myself to my spouse, body and soul, and if I give, if I give myself to them totally, that includes the procreative capabilities of my body. And so a total self giving includes the total giving of  my body to them, just as Jesus gave himself totally and completely for us. And so this leads  us then into this, this overall life posture, this overall practice of, of hospitality and this  willingness to give myself for another to, to realize that in a lot of ways, I think about why do  we? Why why do we embrace contraception in our culture, largely because it's, it is a lot to  take care of children. I hope I can get an amen out there some somewhere as you're listening  to this, I think about my five kids between ages 2 and 10. That takes a lot out of me. It takes a lot out of my wife to invest time and effort and energy and love into their lives. And so in  some ways it would be on one hand, you might think, Well, it'd be easier just to avoid that.  Right? But part of what at least what I'm constantly learning as a parent is that it is suffering  it is painful, it does draw you out of yourself beyond yourself. But you also find that there is  real Christ centered joy in that, that there is real power that there really to live that way of  life, you do have to surrender to the Spirit, to really allow God to give you the strength to do  what you can't do on your own. And so this kind of openness, this kind of hospitality, I think,  not only calls parents to raise children, but it calls us to see how God uses children to really  continue to mature and grow and raise up parents as well in our life in our walk with him.  Well, in the next unit that we're going to think about this from a little bit different direction in  this unit we have reflected on how our bodies and the meaning of sexual union and marriage  are connected to procreation. In the next unit, we're going to shift gears a little bit and think  about this from from another angle, and that is producing new life apart from the reality of  sexual union and marriage of using assisted reproductive technologies in some different  ways. And again, thinking about that what what that says about our bodies, and what that  says about who God is as creator, and what it means to in our bodies and our lives without  the story of who Jesus is and of His love for us. So until next time, blessings