Transcript: Lesson 36 - Pastoral Care

Friends, welcome. We are thinking about our sexuality and God's story understanding and  reflecting on how we are called to embody the Good News of the Gospel story of Jesus and  make that visible through our sexuality through our marriage through our singleness and  celibacy. And in this final video, we're going to reflect just a little bit on pastoral care, thinking  about what it means to walk well with LGBT+ people, as we seek God's kingdom first, a  couple of things I want to note here first is that consistency is really important. And what I  mean by that is, we need to make sure that we are treating all sexual sin the same, so that  we're not singling out gay people, specifically, in our churches, in our congregations or in our  friendships in the way that we interact with people. And so, you know, what I've noticed is  that oftentimes, people can be, can be pretty patient with those who are struggling with  straight sexual sin. And so whether it's, you know, somebody who's cohabiting or involved in  sex before marriage, or somebody who's struggling with, with pornography, we tend to okay,  that, you know, yeah, we all have struggles, we're all learning and growing, we're all walking  alongside each other. But then if somebody even not even says that they're involved in a  same sex, sexual relationship, but even just comes out as gay, that person continue to be  ostracized or pushed aside or seen as just, again, inherently worse or more sinful because of  that. And so, you know, if, if two gay people move in together, and clearly have a romantic  and sexual relationship, just ask yourself, How would your church treat them in comparison to a man and woman who move in together, obviously, have a sexual relationship outside of  marriage? And think about would people respond and interact the same way? Or imagine if  somebody came to you and said, I've really been struggling with pornography, and maybe,  okay, wow, that's, that's tough. We're going to, we're going to walk alongside you. But what if  it's gay pornography? Does that make it worse does that does that somehow make that  person more untouchable or a worse sinner. And so we have to be really careful here that we  are being consistent in our pastoral care. Walking alongside one another, I think this also then take hospitality and patience. You're journeying together with all people gay or straight, is a  process. And oftentimes, we we sort of want people to be at the end process sooner, rather  than later, I want to fix people, I want to make sure they're all doing what they should do. And in fact, when we walk alongside people, when we're ministering to people, it takes time, it  takes patience. Several times in the course, I've referenced St. Augustine, probably the  greatest theologian in the history of Christianity. In his book Confessions, he talks about how  he wrestled with the faith, he grew up in a home where his mom was a Christian, but his dad  wasn't. And all throughout his late teens and his 20s he's involved in in a sexual relationship,  that that we would say this, this doesn't align with God's Will this, this doesn't match his  intentions. But Augustine, his mother kept praying for him and, and even as he was in that  relationship, he was on this journey of trying to understand who God was and wrestling with  some some deep philosophical and theological and spiritual concerns. And so you're when I  read the Augustine's Confessions, what you realize is that God is at work in people through all kinds of circumstances. And so you'll get we want things oftentimes to be nice and neat and  tidy, and be able to wrap it up and put a bow on top and say, you know, this is all simple and  clean and clear. And in fact, what you often see is that it's complicated. One of my friends  who is a pastor, and who himself was in a same sex relationship, and in again, in his late  teens, early 20s, said, you know, for four years, while I was in this same sex relationship, I  was, you know, I was also at the same time somehow growing spiritually and, and God  brought him to the point where he realized this same sex relationship is, is not God's  intentions for me. It's not God's best for me. But throughout the four years of that  relationship, again, he was in that relationship while God is working in him moving him and  he's growing spiritually. And so we need to be careful here that we often have our own picture of what it looks like for somebody to be following Jesus fully and completely. And I think a lot  of times need to exercise hospitality exercise patience. Not trying to make people exactly how we wish they were right now, but be willing to come alongside and journey with them. I would  also emphasize that as I approach this topic, the goal here is not to change somebody's  orientation. Again, I would distinguish orientation from actual sexual activity. And so I think  it's, it's really important for people to say my goal is not to change somebody's predisposition  or or who you're, in general attracted to, again, recognizing that that's different from lusting 

after a particular person in a particular instance. And so the goal isn't to make gay or lesbian  people straight, but to say, what does it mean to submit and to surrender your sexuality to  Jesus, just as I, as a straight person, have to submit and surrender my sexuality to Jesus that,  that I recognize that what people think of as sort of a normal straight person is not the biblical sexual ethic. I think about this a lot. In fact, you know, when I think about different  workplaces, where I've been employed, working long, especially oftentimes working alongside other straight men, and the way that they talked about women, the way that they referenced  women, the way they treated women, you know, it was just to say, this is how normal straight guys behave. But I look at that and think, Well, that's not scripture. So what Scripture calls me to, and so I have to recognize as a straight person, that, that as well. But my goal is not to  just be a normal, straight person, my goal is to surrender my sexuality to Jesus. So that in and through my marriage and in and through my life, how I express my sexuality. God is glorified.  And people start to see some of the self giving, self sacrificial love of Jesus. And that's a good  place to end. I think, because throughout this course, this is the call and my hope and prayers that this has been helpful for you to reflect on how the story of your singleness, how a story of your marriage, how the story of your sexuality can put the Gospel story of Jesus, on display.  There is a world that is that is looking for something, a world that's hungry for something  deeper for something more, and a lot of ways, we substitute our sexuality for a deeper  spirituality that we try to find in our sexuality, the meaning of life, we try to live out this  individualism that that says, I'm going to do what makes me happy, I'm going to, I'm going to  be my authentic self, and I'm going to find real fulfillment there or, or if I can only find this  romantic connection with somebody else, then I'll be complete and fulfilled. And I think part of what we've seen is that Jesus enters into our world, He gives of himself he gives himself fully  and completely for us, to redeem us, to rescue us to to transform us. And so as I see the way  that he gives himself that challenges me to understand my sexuality through that lens to  understand my body through that lens, my to understand my marriage or my singleness  through that lens that I am called to that kind of self giving, self sacrificial love. And that as I  do that, I put the Gospel story of Jesus on display. Well, I'm thankful for your participation in  this course. I hope and pray that it's been helpful for you and I pray that God will continue to  use it, both in your own life and as you minister to others. So until next time, blessings