Video Transcript: Father and King

Part of our family Bible reading plan as a congregation has been taking us through the book of Second Samuel and today, I want to look at kind of the culmination of those events of David's reign in which three of the main characters, David, and Joab, and Absalom figure very prominently. And in a sense, it's the saddest section of what we read about King David. And so, let's review some of those and then we'll be focusing especially on Second Samuel 18, verse 19, and then reading through chapter 19, verse eight. The whole sequence of events begins with David committing adultery with Bathsheba. He happens to spot her in the distance, bathing and calls for her, takes her into his bed and she becomes pregnant. David has to deal with that situation one way or another. And he sends orders to Joab to have Bathsheba’s husband Uriah killed. And so, Joab sends Uriah on a suicide mission, and Uriah is killed in battle. This displeased the Lord, of course, and the prophet Nathan was sent to David and told David a story which got David really angry about the injustice that was described in the story. And then Nathan said, “You are the man.” And he told David, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the light of this sun.’” And he did tell David, “You are forgiven” when David repented, but also, there were consequences that were going to unfold publicly in the life of David's family and the life of the nation because of the terrible sin that David had committed. 

One of the consequences, the most immediate one was the child that had been born to David and Bathsheba died. A little later, David's son Amnon, raped his half-sister, Tamar and Absalom’s full sister, and Absalom didn't say a word about it. He just told Tamar to hush. David was furious, did nothing about it. And two years went by. Absalom invited all of the king's sons to a big feast, and then he gave orders to his man, “When Amnon has drunk quite a bit and is in high spirits take him out.” And they did. They killed him, and Absalom fled to the land of Geshur, where he stayed for about three years. Well, he was missed by his father. And Joab being a man who is close to David, one of his relatives, as well as a general and a top aide, noticed that David really longed for Absalom. So Joab thought, “I'll do a favor to both of them.” And he arranges for a wise woman to come in and tell a story. And once she's done with her story, David says, “Okay, I'll take care of it.” She tells about two sons, one who killed the other, and now they want to hunt down the other son and kill him. She says, “Oh, please protect my other son. He’s all I've got.” He says, “Okay, I'll take care of it.” And she says, “Well, what about your own situation? You have got one son who killed another. Do you want to just lose the other son too?” And David says, “Tell me something: isn't the hand of Joab with you in all this?” David was no dummy, and he knew who the string pullers in his kingdom were and he says, “I can see Joab’s fingerprints all over this one.” And Joab is standing right there the whole time, and Joab says, “Well, yeah, my lord; you want to bring him back.” And so David did. He allowed Absalom to come back to Jerusalem, but he refused to let Absalom come into the palace, or into his own presence. And two years went by. Absalom got sick of that. And so, he sent to Joab and he says to Joab, “Please, you've got to help me out here.” 

And Absalom was a guy who was used to getting his way. He was one of these great looking guys. “In all Israel, there was no one so much to be praised for his handsome appearance as Absalom. From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.” He even had good hair. I mean, great hair! He'd have his annual haircut, and they would weigh the hair, and it weighed more than anybody else could produce in a year of hair growing. So, you know, he's Prince Good Hair, and he looks fabulous. And when he wants something, he gets what he wants. And so, he says the Joab, “You got me back here. But what's the use? I can't go see the king I can't get into the palace.” Job says, “Well, sorry. No can do. I've done about all I can.” And Absalom says, “I don't think so.” So, he sends his servants out, and when Joab wouldn't come, he says to his servants, “See, Joab’s field is next to mine, and he has barley there. Go and set it on fire.” So Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.

Now, if you've been reading about Joab, you might not want to set his field on fire. But anyway, Absalom’s servants did and the immediate result was what he wanted. Joab did go to David and told him that Absalom wanted to come into His presence and David summoned Absalom. Absalom came to the king, he bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king. And the king embraced Absalom and kissed him. And they were together again. Kind of a heartwarming scene, from David's point of view, because he did want to embrace his son. Absalom’s only reason for wanting to get back into the palace was to lay the groundwork for taking over the palace. 

So Absalom is meeting people. He's gets himself 50 people to run before and make him look important. He gets his own chariot. And then he greets people who are coming to see the king and says, “The king is too busy, way too busy. He’s always too busy. It seems like, man, if only I were king, I would be giving you justice and you’d be getting what you wanted.” And so the Israelites say, “This guy's great, He looks like a king. He doesn't make us bow to him. He just takes us and embraces us. And he tells us he'll give us whatever he wants. He's a superb politician.” And Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel. 

Now, just a quick timeline: from the rape of Tamar, it was about two years till Amnon was killed on Absalom’s orders. Then another three years were Absalom lived in Geshur. Then two years Absalom lived in Jerusalem without being allowed to see David. And he takes about four years to build up his campaign and make lots of friends in high places and low places and make them wish he was king as much as he wished he was king. So, a total of eleven years have passed in these chapters that have unfolded. And finally, the day comes, and Absalom says, “As soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then say Absalom is king at Hebron!” And he has resulted some pretty important people, including a genius of a counselor who worked for David, Ahithophel. 

And Ahithophel gives him advice. It's smart advice, in a sense, although it's not always godly advice, obviously. He says, “Grab your father’s wives, set up a tent on the top of the highest building and go rape your father's wives. Then there's no going back. Everybody on your side knows your father is not going to be making a treaty with you. Next thing you do, you send all your guys after your father now and I mean NOW and kill him before he can get organized again.” 

Well, David's got a double agent, his own buddy Hushai who didn't turn against him. And he told Hushai, “Hey, you're a bureaucrat. If you go with us, you're just going to slow us down. You are no good as a soldier. You go back there, you can do me some good there. See if you can undo a Ahithophel’s advice.” So Hushai says, “Well, Ahithophel, he's almost always right. But this time, not. Your father is a very dangerous guy. And the guys with him are very dangerous.”. And this, of course, is true. They're dangerous, all right. But he says, “What you got to do, don't just try to kill your father. Get all of Israel together. So you got an army like the sand of the seashore and then go wherever he is, and wipe him out, wipe his army out, wipe out whatever city he's in.” 

Well, this really appeals to Absalom’s ego, and the Lord also has a hand in it. The Bible says, “The Lord has had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to bring disaster on Absalom.” Well, Ahithophel sees that his advice isn't followed. And he knows that they're toast. He knows that if David and Joab and Abishai and all those old lions get everything organized again and get their troops together and get all their weapons in order, it doesn't matter how big a gang of young guys that Absalom can gather; they're not going to win. And so, he goes out and hangs himself. 

The king, they finally get down to the battle. They're going to be facing each other. And the king, David stands at the gate as his troops are going out. While all the army marched out by hundreds and by thousands. And the king ordered Joab and Abishai and Ittai, “Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.” And all the people heard when the king gave orders to all the commanders about Absalom. Well, there's a battle that day, more than 20,000 men fall, Absalom see some of David's troops coming at him and so he turns on his mule and flees. “Absalom was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the thick branches of a great oak, and his head caught fast in the oak, and he was suspended between heaven and earth, while the mule that was under him went on.” Maybe some of you remember the Incredibles, and that stylist who said, “No capes! No capes!” 

And sometimes there are disadvantages to being Prince Good Hair. And so, Absalom is dangling in this tree. Somebody spots him and runs off and tells Joab. And Joab says, “Well, did you kill him? Did you kill him?” And the guy says, “No, I wouldn't kill him for a thousand coins! We all heard what the king said. I'd be dead if I killed him!” Joab snorts and heads off to Absalom. “He took three javelins in his hand, thrust them in the heart of Absalom, while he was still alive in the oak.” “Still want to burn my grainfields?” Well, he didn't say that. But Joab knew what needed doing and he did it. Then he had 10 of his men just come in there and stab Absalom too, just to make good and sure that he wasn’t going to be getting up. And then they buried him under a big pile of rocks. And that was the end of Absalom. 

And then we come to the passage, where David learns the news. “Then Ahimaaz, the son of Zadok the priest said, “Let me run and carry news to the king that the Lord has delivered him from the hand of his enemies.” And Joab said to him, “You are not to carry news today. You may carry news another day. But today you should carry no news because the king’s son is dead.” Then Joab said to the Cushite, who’s a non-Israelite, and maybe Joab thinks he's a little more dispensable. If David does ge’ mad and kill the messenger, or maybe he just figured, “Well, I won’t be sending David a false signal, if I send one of the messengers of good news, when it’s not all good news.” Anyway, he says, “Go tell the king what you’ve seen.” The Cushite bowed before Joab and ran. Then Ahimaaz son of Zadok said again to Joab, “Come what may, let me also run after the Cushite.” And Joab said, “Why will you run, my son, seeing that you will have no reward for the news?” “Come what may,” he said, “I will run.” So he said to him, “Run.” Then Ahimaaz ran by way of the plain, and outran the Cushite. 

Now David, was sitting between the two gates and the watchman went up to the roof of the gate by the wall. And when he lifted up his eyes and looked, he saw a man running alone. The watchman called out and told the king, and the king said, “If he is alone, there is news in his mouth.” Because if they saw a whole bunch of people running, that would mean they lost the battle, and they were all fleeing. So, if there's just one, he's a messenger coming. And he drew nearer and nearer. The watchman saw another man running, and the watchman called to the gate and said, “See, another man running alone.” The king said, “He also brings news.” The watchman said, “I think the running of the first is like the running of Ahimaaz the son of Zadok.” And the king said, “He is a good man and comes with good news.” Then Ahimaaz cried out to the king, “All as well!” And he bowed before the king with his face to the earth and said, “Blessed be the Lord your God, who has delivered up the men who raised their hand against my lord, the king.” And the king said, “Is it well, with the young man Absalom? Ahimaaz answered, he knew the answer. Ahimaaz answered, “When Joab sent the king’s servant, your servant, I saw a great commotion, but I do not know what it was.” And the king said, “Turn aside and stand here.” So he turned aside and stood still. 

And behold, the Cushite came and the Cushite said, “Good news for my lord the king, for the Lord has delivered you this day from the hand of all who rose up against you.” The king said to the Cushite, “Is it well with the young man Absalom?” And the Cushite answered, “May the enemies of my lord the king, and all who rise up against you for evil, be like that young man.” And the king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he went, he said, “Oh, my son, Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you! Oh, Absalom, my son, my son!” 

It was told Joab, “Behold, the king is weeping and mourning for Absalom.” So the victory that day was turned into mourning for all the people. For the people heard that day, “The king is grieving for his son.” And the people stole into the city that day as people steal in who are ashamed when they flee in battle. The king covered his face and the king cried out with a loud voice, “Oh my son Absalom, oh, Absalom my son, my son.”

Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, “You have today covered with shame the faces of all your servants who have this day saved your life, and the lives of your sons, and your daughters, and the lives of your wives, and your concubines, because you love those who hate you, and hate those who love you. For you have made it clear today that commanders and servants are nothing to you. For I know that if Absalom were alive, and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. Now therefore arise, go out, and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the Lord, if you do not go, not a man will stay with you this night. And this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.” Then the king arose and took his seat in the gate, and the people were all told, “Behold, the king is sitting in the gate.” And all the people came before the king. This ends the reading of God's Word. And God always blesses His Word to those who listen. 

We want to think about David, the king, and father. But before looking more closely at David, and that tremendous tug of war between his role as father and his role as king. I want to take a few moments just to look again at Joab. Joab is a very major character throughout all of these chapters, and a very important man in the history of Israel. Joab was the son of Zeruiah. Now, who is Zeruiah? Well, Zeruiah was David's sister. And she had three sons: Abishai, Joab, and Asahel. And they were all tough. Abishai and Asahel were members of David's elite of the elite, the 30 and Joab was the commander of David's whole army. This was one tough bunch of brothers. Abishai was the guy who always wanted to kill Saul. Whenever David was able to sneak up to Saul then Abishai would say, “Now's your chance! Hey, this is your God given opportunity. Kill him, kill him!” When David was coming back with his people after the victory over Absalom, then Shimei, the man who had been pelting David with rocks and dirt and cursing him, comes out and says, “Oh, my lord the king, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” And Abishai says, “Let me cut the head off this dead dog.” So Abishai is one of those guys who is ready to take you out if you have offended the king in any way. He was chief of the 30. And he was a general.

And we read later in Second Samuel that in the middle of a battle when David was aging and no longer quite the warrior, he had been, a Philistine giant came at him and Abishai killed the giant and saved David's life. On another campaign, Abishai killed 300 guys himself in the campaign. And he's not as tough as Joab. Well, the other brother was one of the 30. So he was one of the SEALS or the elite, but he was killed in battle by Saul's general Abner. 

You remember the story where Abner had lost the battle and he was running away. And Asahel is coming after him and he says, “Go chase somebody else! I don't want to have to kill you.” Because tough as Asahel was, Abner was still tougher. He knew if they thought he'd have to kill him. And he says, “I don't want to face your brother Joab!” Well, yeah, nobody wants to face your brother Joab. And he knew that even if he killed him fair and square in the battle that was not going to sit well with Joab. And it didn't. And even worse, after the battle, when David wanted to unify the kingdom politically, he appointed Abner to be commander of his army instead of Joab. So Joab thought, “I think I'd like to be commander again. And I'd like that guy that killed my brother to be dead.” And so without battle, just treacherously he murdered Abner and got rid of him. Anyway, Abishai and Asahel were two of the brothers. And the third was Joab, who had a long history of dealing with enemies. 

Now he did what was necessary. I think it's very hard to read this passage and think that David was right, that Absalom should survive while 20,000 men fall. “Go out there kill, maim, destroy, wipe out that army… and deal gently with the young man Absalom for my sake. I don't think so. That's what Joab thinks. He's got personal motives for revenge because he was the one who got Absalom back into the country in the first place. He was the one who helped get Absalom back into the palace. His only payment from Absalom was to have his fields burned. He didn't like Absalom very much, personally, but he also was a very shrewd politician. Why do you fight a battle and spare the one man who started it all, so he can start trouble all over again? Well, three javelins to the heart will take care of that. We won't have any more rebellions from Absalom, now will we? 

And he also does the necessary intervention. He says, “You love those who hate you, you hate those who love you. You better buck up and start acting like a king. We won a great victory today. You're making everybody feel ashamed. You want to have a kingdom by tomorrow morning? You better get out there and act like a king and quit bawling your eyes out over this sucker who ruined the kingdom.” Well, that's pretty necessary advice. It's not very easy to hear when you're a grieving father. But Joab was one of these necessary people. He did what was necessary, whether it was a necessary execution, or a necessary intervention. But when you read about Joab, you might also think, “Yeah, he's necessary, but kind of a necessary evil. 

Joab the general. He was brave and deadly. How to get to be general in the first place? Well, when they had to invade Jerusalem and take it over and conquer the Jebusites, David said, “Whoever is the first guy in the attack gets to be commander, if he lives.” Well, Joab was the first guy in the attack. They took the city and Joab became general. He was very quick to eliminate any enemy of David. He was shrewd and political. You can see that a number of times in the stories we've read: how he'd hire somebody to go and tell a story and how he'd see what the king wanted and make sure the king got what he wanted. He knew how to be very diplomatic. He also knew how to get right in your face, like he did with David there when he said, “Get out there and act like a king!” He just had a sense of what needed doing as a politician. He was decisive and very practical. 

We're going to read a little later in Second Samuel 20, about another rebel named Sheba. And Joab goes after him with his army and Sheba holes up in a city. And in that city, somebody comes to the wall, a wise woman, and says, “Joab, do you want to wipe everybody out?” And Joab says, “Oh, far be it from me! Far be it that I should swallow up and destroy! Perish the thought!” Would Joab ever lay his finger on a fly? Such a nice guy. But he said, “No, I don't want to wipe anybody out.” Of course, he already had the siege works up and he was ready to take down the whole city. And then the woman says,” Well, what if we…” Joab says, “Just hand over that guy, Sheba and then we'll go away. And so she goes back in and tells the townspeople, “Now you got a choice here. Do you want to face Joab and his whole army, or do you want to cut off Sheba’s head and  toss it over the wall?” They didn't think very long about that one. And so Joab went away with Sheba’s head, and that was the end of that. But he did what was necessary. If you had to wipe out of town, he would. If he could get the one guy he was after he do that. He was ruthless and selfish. He killed anybody who wronged him or took his position. He killed Abner as we've already seen. He killed Absalom. 

After the victory over Absalom’s army, David decided to appoint Amasa, the commander of Absalom’s army, as commander of the whole army, instead of Joab. Maybe he had two reasons. One was he was mad at Joab for killing Absalom; the other might have been well, this is a way to unite the kingdom again: you bring people from the opposition into the government and we'll have a unity government again. Joab doesn't really go for that sort of thing, having the enemy commander replacing him. And so, Joab goes out to meet Amasa and he says, “Is it well with you, my brother? And Joab took Amasa by the beard with his right hand to kiss him. But Amasa did not observe the sword that was in Joab’s hand. So Joab struck him with it in the stomach and spilled his entrails to the ground without striking a second blow. And he died.” I guess Joab is commander of the army again. That's how the man operated. 

So you say, “Well, yeah, I guess he was a necessary man. And David could never fire him or completely get rid of him because he was too tough. And he had too many soldiers that were loyal to him.” And you say, “Yeah, that's just one of those guys that you read about and you don't want to think about too much”.

Well, here's Joab the believer. That may not sound so hot after you've heard some of the things, he's pulled. When Joab and his brother Abishai are commanding two different segments of David's army. They're facing hostile troops. Joab gives a speech: “Be of good courage and let us be courageous for all our people and for the cities of our God, and may the Lord do what seems good to him.” And they win the victory. He trusts in the Lord, and he tells the people to fight for their people and for the cities and for God, and then let God decide what happens. 

A little later, David wants to number all the troops of Israel. And this is a very sinful thing, because David's doing it in pride, and he's going to count on his own strength and success and Joab says, “No, no, no, no, no!” He says, “May the Lord your God add to the people a hundred times as many as they are, while the eyes of my lord the king see it. But why does my lord the king delight in this thing?” He understood that it was wrong. It would be offensive to God. And he told David not to do it. Well, David did it anyway, and you'll read about what happened in all of that. 

And finally, those who lived by the sword, die by the sword Joab picked the wrong side in the end when it came to a tussle between David’s son Adonijah and another son, Solomon. Joab sided with Adonijah, and that cooked his goose, because Solomon was very powerful. Solomon sent his hatchet-man Benaiah, another David's mighty men, to hunt down Joab and he finds Joab. And Joab flees to the tabernacle, and he grabs hold of the horns of the altar of the tabernacle. And maybe he was hoping to be spared when he did that. But they said, “No, you're going down, you're dying, and get out of there.” And Joab says, “No, I will die here.” 

It's very strange yesterday, when I was finishing all of this, I read that and all of a sudden, I just had tears coming down my face. You read about Joab and you think, “Man, what a nasty individual!” Well, am I more worthy of salvation than Joab? I’m going to do the same thing when death comes for me. I'm going to grab the horns of that altar and hold on and say, “I'm dying here.” If you want to approach God on the day of your death, and say, “I got a pretty good track record, I've had a pretty clean, calm good life.” Good luck with that. You hold on to the altar, the place of sacrifice, the place of atonement, the cross of our Savior that that altar was pointing to and say, “I'm dying here, and I'm not budging an inch.” 

So Joab, he had all the heroic traits of a warrior, and a very tough guy. He had the sins that sometimes go with that kind of character. But at the end, he was holding on to the horns of God's altar. 

Well enough about Joab. Let's look at David in this story. The story unfolds from that sin against Bathsheba. And so, we shouldn't launch too many moralistic stories about good child rearing and bad child rearing. And, now if you do this, here's how it turns out. You do that, that's how it turns out. We'll see some insights from the story that that are related to fathering, but we do need to understand that first of all, he had just sinned grievously against his family, his kingdom, against God, and his kingdom suffered for it, his family suffered for it. his Lord suffered for it. There's only one reason why David is with God in heaven forever is because his Lord suffered for it, too. 

And so, as we read that story, we need to understand that the basic truth about it is that these things came upon David as a judgment upon him and not just because he had a little glitch here and there in his child-rearing practices that could have turned everything around. But it is true that David had thrown himself into building his kingdom and didn't do a whole lot to build his family. We'll see a bit of evidence for that. 

Later on, we read about Adonijah, and I suspect the same was true with others of the king’s sons. He had no direction from his father, no discipline from his father. “His father had never at any time displeased Adonijah by asking, “Why have you done thus and so?” And Adonijah was also a very handsome man, and he was born next after Absalom. So, it probably was a pattern that David had these fabulous-looking, talented sons that he just kind of let run and do whatever they wanted. He was a flawed father, and he was distant. 

He was distant by not being involved through discipline, but he was also distant in not letting them know his feelings and his affection. He bottled up his feelings for his sons until it was too late. When Absalom was in another country, the Bible says David yearned for Absalom to be with him. He yearned for him and left him there at a distance. After Absalom returned to Jerusalem, David shunned him for two years and wouldn't embrace him. He wouldn't punish him, but he wouldn't fully forgive him and be reconciled to him either. So as a father, he let his sons run loose. He didn't show his affection for them. And as king, he didn't apply justice to his sons. When one is a rapist, he doesn't do anything about it. When one is a murderer, he doesn't do anything about it. When he sees things happening that aren't quite right, he does nothing about it. He did not apply justice to his sons or protect his kingdom from them when they became loose cannons. Even Absalom has gotten 20,000 people killed, he wants them to deal gently with the young man Absalom. 

And yet despite his flawed, fathering David had a great heart of love for his son Absalom. There are a lot of fathers with some really serious problems in their life and in their fathering, and you may say, “Yeah, they're just, they're a waste.” And they have a tremendous heart of love. The spirit of the king, even when Absalom was in another country, he longed to go out to Absalom. When Absalom came back, the king embraced him and kissed him and he loved Absalom. And when Absalom died, he just cried and broke down, “My son, my son, my son, I wish I had died instead of you.” And maybe though we don't want to moralize too much from the details of the passage, we could gather at least this much: let your son see your heart for him and your heart for God before it's too late. David had a great heart of love and I'm not sure his sons quite knew it.

And if some of the fault was with David, let's not pretend that the sons were just pure as the driven snow and that their rebellion they could just say, “Oh, I had a rotten dad. What do you expect?” Well, David's rebel sons, maybe they didn't know their father's love for them. They sure didn't show love for him. David wept at Absalom’s death even after Absalom had been seeking David's death. If David had been killed by Absalom’s forces, would Absalom have been going, “Oh, my father, David. David, oh, my father, I wish I had died instead of you!” I don't think so. So whatever David's faults were, Absalom just did not have that heart at all. 

Absalom and later, at Adonijah, that other son who rebelled and tried to replace Solomon. They inherited David's looks and his charm and some of his political skills and his ambition. But they seem not to have had his heart and that was the true greatness of David. Whatever his faults were, he had a great heart for God. And he had, despite all of his errors, a heart for his own children. The father is flawed, but the sons are still responsible when they rebel and just miss out on the godly loving heart of a flawed father. I've seen it, not just in the Bible. I've seen tears rolling down a father's face, knowing a lot of the problems are his fault. And I've talked with sons, very dry eyed, and very angry at dad. There's kind of an asymmetry where the father is brokenhearted, and he knows a good bit of it's his fault. And the sons they know a good bit of it's his fault, too, and are very angry and very cold. And just read this story again. And if you're one of those sons, maybe it's time to talk to your dad. Maybe it's time to get in touch with his real heart again. 

King and Father. It's very hard to be both at the same time. Building a kingdom, instead of his family had a very negative impact on David's family. But then that came back to bite him. David's violation of marriage and his neglect of family nearly destroyed his kingship, and that needs to be paid attention to because you can throw yourself so much into one part of your calling, and if you neglect your family, and say, “Well, at least I was good at this or I did well at that.” But when your family collapses, it can sometimes take everything down with it. And with his family in jeopardy and his kingdom in jeopardy, David's favoritism and his grief over one family member almost destroyed everything. That's that keeping that balance between king and father, David finally just collapsed under the load of it all. He melted down, went to pieces and Joab stepped in. 

But one thing I think we can all agree on: it is hard to do justice both to your family duties and to the duties of God’s calling beyond your family. And you cannot just take one or the other. Your family is not your whole life, or your whole calling. David couldn't say, “Well, family first! Family matters. I don't need to worry about this kingship thing.” When you're appointed king, you got to be king. And you have to pay a lot of attention to your kingly duties. But you can't neglect your family duties entirely. And it is hard to do justice to both. But you need to keep seeking to do justice to both every single day, where you don't neglect one and you don't neglect the other, and you just pray to God to forgive the failings in both areas, and to help you to do better in all the different aspects of your life. 

Well, Absalom did have to be stopped. We've seen that. He endangered everyone in David's family and his kingdom. David could not afford to be soft with him because the rebel could ruin everything. And before that battle he ordered them to deal gently, but God had decided what was going to happen with Absalom. The Lord had determined to bring disaster on Absalom and there's a sense in which Joab was the sword of the Lord, or the javelin of the Lord on that one, because he did have to be stopped. 

There's a similar story from earlier in Israel's history: the story of Eli, the sons of Eli, who was the high priest. His sons were worthless men. They didn't know the Lord, but they were still in their offices, as priests, and they treated the offering of the Lord with contempt. They lay with the women who served at the entrance of the tent of meeting, his sons were blaspheming God, and Eli didn't stop them. 

Now, sometimes I've heard sermons where people say, “Now you've got to be a good disciplinarian, and make sure you discipline your kids when they're little or they'll turn out like Eli's rotten sons!” Well, maybe that's true. But the emphasis here is not on how to discipline your little children. The emphasis here is that Eli, as high priest of God had two sons who needed to be fired in a hurry, and he didn't fire them. He didn't remove them from their position when they prove to be men who did not know the Lord. His main fault was in letting his fatherly affection overcome his duties as high priest, who had to fire bad priests. And so Eli’s sons wouldn't listen to the voice of their father. He did try to talk them out of doing what they were doing, but he wouldn't just can them and get them out of the priesthood. And they wouldn't listen to him because they had passed the point of no return. It was the will of the Lord to put them to death. 

This is another very important thing for us to take to heart from this passage. The Bible says in Proverbs, “A man who will not listen after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed without remedy.” You can play your game and play your game and maybe your daddy is high priest, and he plays along with you. Maybe your daddy is king, and he plays along with you. And you figure, “As long as my dad is king, I can burn Joab’s fields, I can do this or that. I can replace Dad as king and do a better job than him.” And then suddenly comes that day when you're hanging in the tree and there's somebody standing in front of you with three javelins, and that's it. So, we do need to realize from this whole story that as things unfold, there comes a point and the point of no return had come before the man with the three javelins was standing in front of the tree. There was a point at which the Lord had determined, “Okay, the sons of Eli are going down. They've had their warnings. They're gone. Absalom’s going down. He's had his warnings, he's gone.” And we need to understand that God will deal with us in that manner. 

A king or a high priest, they had a duty to put a rebel son out of commission regardless of how tender his feelings were toward his son. David couldn't bring himself to destroy Absalom. So Joab did what had to be done, and he killed Absalom to prevent further trouble. And when David, this is just the synopsis of all that’s happened, and David fell apart when he heard about Absalom's death. And so Joab pushed David to do what had to be done: stop acting like a grieving father and start acting like a victorious king. 

So, he went out to the gate, and did what a victorious king is supposed to do and received his army and his people and acted like he had won a great victory, even though his heart was broken. And there are times when you do what you've got to do, even when your feelings are entirely the contrary. It is very, very hard to be a king and a father. And David, he couldn't handle it. He disintegrated and he couldn't do justice to at all. 

The Son of David was also a king. And when Jesus drew near and saw the city of Jerusalem, He wept over it and He said, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! Your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation.” This is a heart that encompasses all the roles of a loving father, and mighty king and a terrible judge. He knows what has happened. Jerusalem has refused Him has rejected Him, is about to crucify Him. And He weeps over what He knows He's going to bring upon them. 

God says, “I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked. I would rather they would turn to me and live. But if they don't, don't think that My tears and My compassion will prevent My justice and My wisdom from doing what they deserve, and what is necessary for the advancement of My kingdom. On that last day when Jesus comes again, He will judge and He will welcome and He can balance the roles of King and the Father. 

When we read about David's tears, “Would I had died instead of you O Absalom, my son, my son,” he couldn't do it. Jesus did die for the rebels against Him. And He did something else David wasn't very good at: He rose again from the dead. And after dying at the hands of His rebel children, He rose again in victory. And so, He's gone beyond what David or anybody else could ever do, in dying for His enemies and then giving His enemies yet another opportunity, having paid for the sins they've committed. And another thing to notice, in this passage: David's roles of king and father were in conflict sometimes and his feelings were in terrible conflict. And he just couldn't manage all of that. When we understand who God is, and what God's attributes are, and what God's various activities are. Sometimes the theologians use the term “the simplicity of God”, that God doesn't actually have a whole bunch of different attributes. We talk about it that way. But He is simply God, who unites all of those things that we may call anger, and justice and wisdom and love. And when we think about God, we use those descriptions. But at the same time, we realize they're never out of balance, and they never destroy one another in the being of God. His attributes are in harmony. And that means that Jesus reveals to us the loving heart of the Father, but also His justice as king and judge. He is as tender and loving, more tender and loving than David. He is as tough and deadly, more tough and deadly than Joab. And you had better take both of those aspects and many other truths about God to heart. 

Jesus told parables. And in one of His parables, He told about somebody kind of like Absalom who wanted his inheritance even before his father was dead. Basically, when that younger son in the story of the prodigal son says, “I want my inheritance,” he’s saying, “Dad, I wish you were dead, because I want it now.” And yet, after the son has taken it, squandered it, ruined everything, and hung out with the pigs, and then comes crawling back, his father is kind of like David on the walls of Jerusalem looking, “Is that him, is that him? Is that runner maybe bringing some good news?” And he's watching and when he sees that it's his son, when he's still a long way off, the father rushes out and feels compassion for him and embraced him and kissed him. And what a beautiful picture of the heart of the Father and of His great love and eagerness and willingness to welcome back any who will return to Him and turn away from the far country and turn away from their sins. 

But that's not the only parable Jesus told. He told the parable of a king who went to another country, left talents with a few of his servants. But there were many in that country who would not have him as their king at all. But he turned out to be king anyway and he came back even though they didn't want him to be king. He came back in all his power and became king. And he, after dealing with the servants who had been given various amounts of stuff, he said, “Now for these enemies of mine who did not want me to reign over them, bring them in here and slaughter them before me.” That is not the warmest and fuzziest statement in Jesus’ parables. But it is there just as much as the father who ran out to embrace his son and kiss him and the Bible tells us if you want to turn to God, you should never fear that His arms are not wide open to welcome you. You can come to Him, and you can seek him and enjoy His love and know that Jesus has fully paid the price by dying in your place. 

If you will not have that price that He paid, and if you will not have Jesus rule over you, then you can only hear the voice, “Bring them here and slaughter them before Me. Away from Me, you cursed into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.” You find yourself dangling in the tree with the javelins aimed at your heart. And so today, I can just say two things: take with utmost seriousness, the tremendous love of the Father. Take with equal seriousness, the deadly justice of the king.

We ask Lord, that You will apply to our hearts what we need from You today. Some of us, Lord, have a tender and trembling and fearful heart. And we need to know the greatness of Your love and the warmth of Your embrace and the kindness of a Father whom we've never really known, one that we've feared, perhaps all too often, and yet never known that great heart of tenderness that You have for us and Lord, if that's our situation, please pour that love upon seeking hearts today, and draw them into the peace and assurance that Jesus is their Savior, and that You are indeed their Father. And Lord, if there are some of us who have been playing games with You, who have not taken seriously Your warnings, who did not realize the justice and the fierce vengeance of the King of kings, help us today to have our hearts shattered by the reality of Your power, of Your vengeance against Your enemies and against those who refuse to be ruled by You. Father, You know the medicine that each heart needs. And so I asked that by Your Holy Spirit, You will apply that to our needs, and bring us Lord into living relationship with You. We pray too Lord for those of us who are fathers who have to balance the obligations to our family with other obligations of our calling. We pray for those who are mothers. We pray for each of the children and young people who are seeking, Lord, their place, and seeking how they can be good family members and at the same time flourish as individuals and into the callings that you put upon their lives. We ask Father, that each of us by the direction and wisdom of Your Holy Spirit living within us will be able to walk with Christ and find in Him our sufficiency. We pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.