Video Transcript: The Powerful Phrases For Positive People (Part 2) (Edited Verson)

We're going to delve further into the topic of "Ten Powerful Phrases for Positive People," a foundational guide for developing "people smarts." This course aims to teach us how to express love and understanding towards others.

Our next focus is on the phrase "Thank You." As Rich DeVos elaborates in his book, saying "Thank You" is more than just good manners; it's an acknowledgment of someone else's kindness and effort. It's a way of showing appreciation for a job well done. Therefore, try to be specific when you express thanks, such as sending a thank-you card or giving a small gift. This simple gesture can mean the world to the giver.

In the Bible, Jesus healed ten lepers, but only one returned to thank Him. Even Jesus appreciated this acknowledgment. So it's clear that saying "Thank You" holds power, whether in a spiritual or everyday context.

Now let's discuss the phrase "I Need You." Often, we take it for granted that people know they're needed, but explicitly saying "I need you" can have a significant emotional impact. We all need various people in our lives—parents, spouses, colleagues, and so forth. Acknowledging this need fosters respect and engagement within any community, including the church.

I've consulted with church leaders for many years, and a common issue in declining congregations is that members don't feel needed. Neglecting to communicate this simple yet powerful phrase can drive people away from your community, possibly to places where they might feel more valued.

In leadership roles, this concept holds weight. Leaders should never forget that they need their team; failing to recognize this can be a grave mistake. Organizations where people don't feel valued are doomed for instability and dissatisfaction.

To summarize, "Thank You" and "I Need You" are not just phrases. They are fundamental expressions of gratitude and mutual respect, vital for positive interactions in any community, whether it's a church, a workplace, or a family.

In our continuing discussion of "Ten Powerful Phrases for Positive People," as outlined by Rich DeVos, we'll examine the foundational phrase "I trust you." This phrase is akin to "I believe in you," but serves as a crucial, real-time affirmation of faith in others. Trust forms the bedrock of our society, governing our interactions with family, co-workers, and even leaders.

When we declare "I trust you," we offer a powerful vote of confidence that influences how people behave. For instance, children are often affected by self-fulfilling prophecies: If you label a child as "naughty," they may continue to act out. However, when we express trust, people are inclined to live up to that expectation.

Trust permeates nearly every aspect of life, including professional and personal relationships, community interactions, and even governance. A society without trust would grind to a halt; contracts would become meaningless, traffic rules disregarded, and educational systems dismantled due to mistrust in teachers. Therefore, trust is not just an interpersonal need but also a societal essential.

While it's vital to communicate that we trust others, it is equally important to be trustworthy ourselves. Trustworthiness begins at home and extends to every aspect of life, including leadership roles. For example, employees need to trust that their bosses are running the company ethically, just as citizens need to trust their governmental leaders. A lack of trust can lead to systemic failures.

It's not just about uttering the phrase "I trust you," but also about backing it up with integrity and honest communication. Growing up, my parents would honestly say, "We can't afford that" when I requested something unattainable. Honesty fortifies trust; if people can rely on your word, your claim of trust becomes credible.

Let's now move on to the next powerful phrase, "I respect you." This phrase is not merely a declaration but a commitment to recognizing the inherent value in others. Rich DeVos learned through his experience at Amway, a company he co-founded with Jay Van Andel, that respect is a cornerstone of any successful community.

The essence of respect is to treat everyone as creations of God, imbued with a purpose. The concept of respect transcends mere tolerance or comparison of talents. It allows us to appreciate the rich tapestry of God's creation. Just as trust is a two-way street, showing respect earns you respect in return. Being genuinely interested in others, listening to them, and acknowledging their achievements cultivates a culture of respect.

In this class, we'll delve further into skills like listening and effective communication, all aimed at fostering greater respect for others. This leads us to our next topic, which we'll explore shortly.

Another powerful phrase Rich DeVos emphasizes is "I love you." This phrase encapsulates all other expressions of feeling. Whether it's romantic love, familial bonds, or close friendships, saying "I love you" is a profound way to articulate our admiration and appreciation for others. The Bible also instructs us to love one another, making love an essential aspect of human interaction.

Saying "I love you" goes beyond saying "I respect you" or "I believe in you." It's a deeper, more tender form of expression. While some people limit this phrase to marital or romantic contexts, being emotionally intelligent means being comfortable expressing love in various relationships. As a pastor, I've often told my congregation, "I love you," which has a significant impact when said publicly.

The New Testament describes different types of love: familial love, romantic love, and agape love—unconditional love. If you feel love, don't hesitate to express it. Unfortunately, some people never tell their children or loved ones that they love them, either because they can't articulate their feelings or don't make the effort.

Being emotionally intelligent means loving God and your neighbors. It's not enough just to feel love; it must be expressed. Love can be conveyed in many forms and to different people.

Rich DeVos, for example, would often end his letters to me with "Love ya, Rich." That simple phrase always warmed my heart.

The phrase "I love you" encapsulates what emotional intelligence is all about. You may possess great oratory skills, have faith that can move mountains, or give all you have to the poor. But if you lack love, all these things mean nothing.

In this class, we'll explore various skills such as listening, speaking, humor, and dealing with opposition. However, remember that without love, emotional intelligence is mere manipulation. All the powerful phrases we discuss ultimately come down to one: "I love you." So as we proceed, let's focus on genuinely loving our neighbors. This is the true essence of being emotionally intelligent, as love is the cornerstone for meaningful human interaction.