Video Transcript: The Causes of the Need for Coaching Part 2

Hi, my name is Steve Elzinga, and again, we're in the coaching class. Hopefully, you're getting something out of this. I hope you can see some of the potential of this; it really is a different approach to helping someone. It's a different approach to leadership, and it really, really works. It really does.

Most of my life I spent trying to teach people by giving people advice. People are amazed by the advice I give. They're thankful for the advice I give, but often they just don't do it. In part, it's because it's advice. It doesn't come from the heart and soul of the person. Coaching is really about helping a person discover what they want to do. If they can discover what they really want to do, and they discover how they're going to do it, they're more likely to follow through and actually make it happen.

What we're talking about is why this coaching thing has become more of an issue. 100 years ago, it wasn't a big issue. There are things that have happened in our culture that have eroded this sense of people taking ownership, and people sitting back, not taking ownership for their own lives.

The causes of the need for coaching. What I want to look at with you now is the loss of a biblical positive work ethic. I grew up with parents that were raised, in part, during the Depression here in the United States, and people were poor, and people had to work hard. There was no social net, to save them. And people had to really figure out how to scrounge and make a living.

My father-in-law died some 10 years ago. And I've one thing from all the things that he owned. It's a pencil that is about this big and the pencil is sharpened. It has an eraser. He used his pencils right down to nothing. That was the mentality. He got up at five o'clock every morning.

When I was 15 years old, my father decided he wanted to teach his three boys a work ethic. He sold our house in the city and we moved out to a farm. I went from living in the city to milking cows on a farm. The next day, he wanted to teach us how to work and to take responsibility. He wanted to build a barn and instead of bringing in the ready-mix truck with all the concrete already mixed in. You know, you just throw it down. He bought a big pile of stones, a big pile of gravel, and he bought bags of cement. He bought two shovels and a wheelbarrow and a cement mixer. We had to build the barn shovel full by shovel full, make our own cement, and pour one wheelbarrow after another. He wanted us to work. He wanted us to see that when you work hard at something, even if it may seem like nothing, if you keep going little by little, it actually accomplishes something.

This whole notion of work ethic because is this: somebody should do it. For me, culture has sort of been eroding. People don't have that same work ethic, that if you work hard, good things will happen. In part, because of our culture, because of political things, and because of economic situations that are beyond our control, all of a sudden the economy takes a dive and all the hard work you did for the last three years is gone.

People have sort of given up on the notion that if you just work hard, you're actually going to get somewhere. Because of all of that, people feel lost. What we need is a biblical, positive work ethic.

But before we get into that, there's a there's a couple questions I need to ask. Why should a person work hard? We have to try to figure out what's behind this good positive work ethic and how we've lost it.

So why should a person work? Is work good or bad? Is work part of the good thing that God created? Or is it a bad thing? In some ways, it's part of the bad. iI you if you go to Genesis chapter three, sin comes into the world. When God comes and deals with the consequences of sin, he says to Adam and Eve, because you have done this, because you have rebelled, because you have sinned, work is going to be hard. There's going to be thorns and thistles. By the sweat of your brow, you will work until you die, until you return to the dust from which you were taken. In some sense, either the hard part of work tor that he work is hard and not getting anywhere, that's certainly a result of sin. But work in and of itself is not the result of sin.

If you go to Genesis chapter two, where we still have paradise and sin has not had its influence, Adam and Eve are there doing things. God sees that and places this man in the garden He's commanded to work it and to till it. The word work is actually used in paradise. Adam names all the animals. There's stuff to do.

I believe when we get to heaven, there'll be stuff to do, there'll be work. It's part of how God made us. It's part of who we are, to take things and make things, to build things and to solve problems. If you think about it, that's the fun of life. We do it all day at work. When we don't have work, we make up games, sports. Sports are just a problem that you have to solve.

Games on the internet. They're all about solving some kind of a problem. We love problems. We love solving problems, it gives us a reason to get up and do things. It's a part of the good world.

What is needed for a biblical positive work ethic?

Number one need. Proverbs 16:26 the appetite of the laborers works for them, their hunger drives them on, there's nothing like need to drive you to work. That's why when Paul said to the Thessalonians look, the one who does not work doesn't eat. If you don't work, after you don't eat for three or four days, you're going to be motivated to do something about it. So need drives people on.

Paul said that we give you this rule, that the one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.

The problem with need driving us to our work ethic is, in our modern world, need is becoming less and less a force in the United States. I don't work to eat. I don't work to put shelter over my head. If I didn't do anything, I would still have things to eat, and I would have shelter over my head. I work to have better shelter. I work to have better food. But I don't work because I need these things.

Most of what I do is not because of what I need. Most of what I do is because of what I want. Exodus 20:17, You shall not covet your neighbor's house, you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male or his male servant, his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Need is what really drives us. It's amazing when you're, if you don't eat for an entire day, when you finally eat, it's like this is the one thing that's on your mind. And then you eat until you can't eat at all. You eat till you’re stuffed. You don't even want to look at food, the thought of food makes you sick.

All you have to do is wait one more day of not eating. And it will be the only thing that you think about. So it's this need that keeps coming back over and over again. And it drives you to do stuff.

Number two: want. Okay, so but if you take need away, again, now we're not motivated by need. We're motivated by want. Want is not as strong as need. I want this, but do I need it? We end up wanting a bunch of stuff that we don't need.

The problem in our culture today, especially here in the west where we have credit cards. You can just buy whatever you want right away. If you want it, you can get it and then you can pay for it later. That doesn't help you with a work ethic, because you already have the thing that you now have to work for.

In the past, when you didn't have credit, you had to work really hard for something. Finally, the reward of working really hard was to get the thing that you wanted. You're motivated the whole time you're working.

Now you already have the thing that you want. Now you have to work hard just to pay for it. People have a hard time getting motivated to work for something that they already have.

In most cases, because it's not a need, that thing we want, we get it one week later, we don't even care about it. It wasn't that big deal. It wasn't the thing that we really needed.

What I'm trying to illustrate is the eroding of this work ethic. Without a work ethic, people can't get anything done. Their lives are broken, their marriage is falling apart, their family is not working, the church thing is not working.

You're trying to lead, you're pastor, you're a church worker, you're trying to make things happen, no one shows up, you can't get anyone motivated. Why? Because this work ethic is being eroded. People don't have the sense of working hard towards something and eventually getting rewarded for it.

Number three. We have a made-up need. Go to the end: oh, sluggard consider her ways and be wise without having any chief officer ruler, she prepares her bread in the summer and gathers her food in harvest.

A made up need is when you buy something on credit. For example, I buy a car, I don't have all the money. So, I borrow money from the bank, and then I buy the car. Now I need to work to pay for the car. It's not a real need, it's a made up need is a need that I put on myself. I didn't have that need before I put that need.

It's not like hunger, where it's a natural thing every day I need to eat. Now it's so all these things that we buy on credit are just made-up needs. I owe the bank money. I’ve got to get up on Monday morning and work really hard at a job that maybe I don't even like, because I have a need. But it's a made-up need.

It's hard to get motivated to work hard for something made up. It's not a real need, it is something that I imposed on myself. I'm always thinking, how can I get out of this? How can I escape from the debt? Maybe some of you are in debt right now. It's just this cloud sitting over you. It keeps you from actually doing anything about it. The weight of the debt keeps you from actively doing something.

Here in the United States, we have different courses. I think in the enterprise class, I talk about how you get out of debt, how you can positively divide up your debt and attack it little by little, just like pouring cement, one wheelbarrow after another. Little by little you can accomplish a big thing.

That's where a coach comes in. A coach comes in and helps you get past the these things that we bogged ourselves down in.

Number four obligation. Obligation is actually a great way to get a sense of a good work ethic. I Timothy 5:8, if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever obligation.

I got married about 40 years ago, and I made promises to my wife, I promised to provide for her. So I didn't have that need before. But now I have made an obligation to her. Tthat obligation pushes me to work, it pushes me to do things. Because I care for her, I'm gladly doing these things.

And then we have four children. Again, I have got to take care of these children I get to provide for these children. And I want to see it's an obligation that I have, but I want to do it.

I joined a church. I feel like I'm a part of that community. I want to help with that community. I'm obligated to the community that I joined. I made promises to use the gifts that God has given me for the vision of that church. I'm obligated to this group of people. That helps me get out of bed. It helps me accomplish things.

That's what a work ethic can do for us. What's happening in our culture is that people don't want obligation. They don't want to get married. They don't want to make a commitment to a company, they want to bounce around and see what's best.

People don't want to make a commitment to a friend: you're my friend now, but who knows? You're my spouse right now, but who knows? Everyone has this we'll-see-how-it-goes mentality. People don't want to be obligated. Because they don't want to be obligated, they don't have the motivation to stick with anything, to  have a good solid work ethic.

Number five: Opportunity, and grabbing onto an opportunity, is a great way to get this sense of a work ethic. Ecclesiastes, I love this verse: sow your seed in the morning, and at evening, Let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed.

I love that. It should say sow you're seed in the morning and at evening, Let not your hands be idle, because sowing your seed in the morning might not work. Don't just do one thing. You know, try this and then try that. And maybe this one will work and this one won't.

But the writer here is so optimistic. He says do this, but also do that and maybe both will work. If you don't know which will succeed whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well.

Opportunity is starting something. Many of you are here at Christian Leaders Institute, because you're thinking about something that you might want to do. You might want to volunteer at your church, you might want to start your own coaching business. On the side, you might want to start a church, you might want to be a better leader and take more ownership and leadership in your church.

You're seeing some kind of opportunity out there. What is seeing that opportunity does is it motivates you. It motivates you to take ownership. Here you are listening to this, then you have to take a quiz. Then you have to listen again. Then you have to get this certificate that you're doing all these things. Why? Because you're being driven by an opportunity.

It's creating a sense of work ethic in you. See, that's what our culture is missing. That's why this need for a coach is becoming more important.

Number six, riches. People work to have a work ethic because they want to get rich Proverbs 10:4, lazy people are soon poor, hard workers get rich. Proverbs 14:23 all hard work brings a profit but mere talk leads only to poverty.

This is probably the driving force for most people. They want to work and they work hard, so that they can get rich.

What's the purpose of riches according to the Bible? Proverbs 10:4, this kind of the negative reason but the leech has two daughters: give, give they cry. There are people that are takers. It's in that mentality, someone should do it for me, someone should provide for me. Someone owes me, the world owes me, the government owes me, my parents owe me ,the school owes me, the church owes me, the pastor owes me, my spouse owes me, my kids owe me, my parents owe me. I mean, it's about me. Everything is about me. Someone should be giving me stuff. Gve, give, give, give! That's becoming more of a mentality out there.

Because of that mentality, people's lives are falling apart. Because no one owes you anything. You've been given the greatest gift the world has ever known, the gift of life. Then you get life again. Knowing Jesus Christ gives you the Holy Spirit gives you a purpose. You get all eternity. You don't deserve anything, everything you get is a gift.

If you saw everything as a gift, then every day would be an opportunity. Instead, no. I'm old. Other people are getting stuff and I'm not getting it. So I'm unhappy. That leads to not doing anything.

One of the purposes of working hard and getting money is so that you don't have to be dependent on everybody, so that you can actually take care of yourself, that you can take care of your own children rather than other people having to work hard for you.

Ephesians 4:28 Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer but must work doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.

One of the obligations that we should tie into hat will help us work hard is we're here to help others. It's not about you. It's not about me. Life is not about me. It's about me trying to be used by God to help others. That's the whole goal of everything.

You're learning all this stuff at Christian Leaders Institute because you want to help someone. It's not just so that you can look good.

Satisfaction. A work ethic gives satisfaction Ecclesiastes 2:24-25, a man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see is from the hand of God, for without him who can eat and, or find enjoyment.

So, working hard and accomplishing things is actually the joy of life. It's where the fun is. If you find something that you really enjoy doing, and it makes a difference, real work makes a difference in someone's life, even a business, your business is not going to succeed unless your business is designed to help somebody do something, or get something, or to improve something, or to make someone's life better.

If it doesn't do that, no one's going to buy your product or your service. That's the fun of it: to see someone's life changed because of what you did. That pushes us. But we're losing that sense of being here to help others.

Instead, in our modern world, it's more, what can I get? It is all about me, it's all about my happiness. I'm not happy in this marriage, I want out. I'm not happy being a parent, I'm not happy with this job, I'm not happy in this church, so I'm going to go to another church. The focus is on ourselves. Everything is breaking and falling apart, and people are tired of it.

This whole coaching thing comes along, where someone says, You know what, I can help get you back on track, and stop blaming everything else, and take ownership for your own life.

Finally, this really is the essence of a work ethic. Everything I've said is important, but this trumps everything. God's purpose. I Corinthians 9:26. Paul says, I run with purpose in every step. I'm not just shadowboxing. I'm not just spending time doing things. What I'm doing is important.

How can he say that? Colossians 3:17. Whatever you do, doesn't matter what you do for work. Whatever you do, whether in word or deed do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father through him. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward it is the Lord Christ you are serving.

In our world today, we're moving away from this. People don't know why they're working. They don't know why they're having children. They don't know why they're doing whatever they're doing, because they don't have a sense of ultimate purpose. The purpose in life now, for many people, is just to be happy, to enjoy this day, to get stuff, to buy stuff thinking that that will make them happy, but there's no big purpose for which it all goes under. So people don't stick with anything. They're hopping from one thing to the next. Maybe this will make me happy. Maybe that will make me happy. The minute they have a problem, they shift to something else.

We really need to get back to this idea that there is a God. That's why Christian Leaders trying to help you to reach people, because that's what's going to change the world. We need people to believe that there is a God number one, and that God has a purpose for every single person, that God gives gifts and abilities to every single person and he wants to use every single person to make and grow his kingdom. There's a plan. And it's an eternal plan.

What you do today is not just for your happiness today, it's for all eternity. What you do as a parent, what you do in your marriage, what you do in your church, what you do with your friendship, what you do with your job. All of these things have an influence on all eternity.

You see, if people had that sense, they would get up and do stuff. They would be motivated to work hard. For right now people are floundering. Why? Because I'm just working for a car,  to pay off debt, I'm working to be like the people around me, I don't know why I'm doing all these things. So people stop. Everything is halfhearted. then they wonder why everything is falling apart.

That's why this coaching thing is become more and more important, because people are lost. They're like sheep without a shepherd. They're wandering about the field, and they don't know what to do. Then a coach comes and says, I can help show you the way. I can help you get back on track, whether it's in the business world, or whether it's in the getting in shape world, or whether it's in the spiritual growth,  doing something for God world.

You see what's happened. We've lost the sense of purpose. With the loss of the sense of purpose, we lost this work ethic. There was something called, in church history, the Protestant work ethic, this sense that God has ordained, every option of work, that everything that we do is a calling of God. We're not doing it to sell this product, or to create this service. We're doing this work to serve God in the best way that we can. We do our best, and it's not for the boss. It's not for the client. It's not for the people that buy this. No! We do it because we're serving God.

People need to come back to that. They don't know that they need to come back to that which is why they're searching for something. That's why I think this whole coaching thing has become the phenomenon that it's become.