Video Transcript: The Causes of the Need for Coaching Part 2

Hi, my name is Steve Elzinga. And again, we're in the coaching class, hopefully, you're getting something out of this, I hope you can see some of the potential of this, it really is a different  approach to helping someone, it's a different approach to leadership. And it really, really  works. It really does. You know, most of my life I spent trying to teach people giving people  advice. And, you know, people are amazed with the advice I give. they're thankful for the  advice I give, but often they just don't do it. And in part it's because it's advice. It doesn't  come from the heart and soul of the person. And so coaching is really about helping a person  discover what they want to do. And if they can discover what they really want to do, and they  discover how they're going to do it, they're more likely to follow through and actually make it  happen. So what we're talking about why this coaching thing has become more of an issue,  you know, 100 years ago, it wasn't a big issue. And but there are things that have happened  in our culture that have have eroded this sense of people taking ownership, and people sitting back and not taking ownership for their own lives. So so the causes of the need for coaching,  when I want to look at with you now is the loss of a biblical positive work ethic. Okay, I grew  up with parents that that, you know, were raised in part during the Depression here in the  United States, and people were poor, and people had to work hard. There was no social net,  to save them. And people had to really figure out how to scrounge and make a living. My  father in law died some 10 years ago. And I've one thing you know, from all the things that he owned, I have one thing, and it's a pencil that is about this big and this pencil is sharpened.  And it has an eraser, I mean, so he used his pencils right down to nothing. Because that was  the mentality. He got up at five o'clock every morning. When I was 15 years old, my father  decided he wanted to teach his his three boys a work ethic. So he sold our house in the city.  And we moved out to a farm and I went from living in the city to milking cows on a farm. The  next day, he wanted to teach us how to work and to take responsibility. He wanted to build a  barn and instead of bringing in the ready mix truck with all the concrete already mixed in, you know, you just throw it down, he bought a big pile of stones and a big pile of gravel, and he  bought bags of cement. And he bought two shovels and a wheelbarrow, and a cement mixer  that we had to you know, build the barn shovel full by shovel full and make our own cement,  and pour one wheelbarrow after another. Because he wanted us to work, he wanted us to see  that when you work hard at something, it may seem like nothing, but if you keep going little  by little by little by little by little by little, it actually accomplishes something. Okay, so this  whole notion of work ethic because of this, somebody should do it. For me, culture has sort of  been eroding. People don't have that same work ethic that if you work hard, good things will  happen. And in part, because of our culture, because of political things. And because of  economic situations that are beyond our control, all of a sudden the economy takes a dive  and all the hard work you did for the last three years is gone. So people have sort of given up  on this notion that if you just work hard, you're actually going to get somewhere and so again, because of all of that people feel lost. So what we need is a biblical, positive work ethic. But  before we get into that, there's a there's a couple questions I need to ask, Why should a  person work hard? You know, so, we have to get, you know, trying to figure out what's behind  this good positive work ethic and how we've lost it. So why should a person work? is work  good or bad? Is is work part of the good thing that God created? Or is it a bad thing? In some  ways, it's part of the bad if you if you go to Genesis chapter three sin comes into the world.  And and and when God comes and you know deals with the consequences of sin, he says to  Adam and Eve, you know, because you have done this because you have rebelled, because  you have sinned, that work is going to be hard, there's going to be thorns and thistles. And by the sweat of your brow, you will work until you die until you return to the dust from which you  were taken. So in some sense, either the hard part of work the the the work is hard and not  getting anywhere. That's certainly a result of sin. But work in and of itself is not the result of  sin. Because if you go to Genesis chapter two, where we still have paradise and sin has not  had its influence, Adam and Eve are there doing things God sees, you know, that the, you  know, places this man in the garden, and he's commanded to work it and to till it. I mean, the  word work is actually used in paradise. Adam names all the animals, there's stuff to do. I  believe when we get to heaven, there'll be stuff to do, there'll be work. It's part of how God  made us. It's part of who we are, to take things and make things, to build things and to solve 

problems. That if you think about it, that's the fun of life. We do it all day at work. And then  when we don't have work, we make up games in sports, sports is just a problem that you  have to solve. Or, you know, the games on the internet. They're all about solving some kind of a problem. We love problems. We love solving problems, it gives us a reason to get up and do  things. So it's a part of the good world. What is needed and what is needed for a biblical  positive work ethic. Number one need proverbs 16:26 the appetite of the laborers works for  them, their hunger drives them on, there's nothing like need to drive you to work. That's why  when Paul, you know he said to the Corinthians look, the one who does not work doesn't eat.  You know, if you don't work if you don't eat for three or four days, you're going to be  motivated to do something about it. So need drives people on. Paul said that there it is  Thessalonians we are worth you we give you this rule that the one who is unwilling to work  shall not eat. Okay. The problem with need driving us to our work ethic is in our modern world  need is becoming less and less like it are in the United States. I don't work to eat, I don't work  to put shelter over my head. If I didn't do anything, I would still have things to eat, and I  would have shelter over my head. I work to have a better shelter. I work to have better food.  But I don't work because I need these things. Most of what I do is not because of what I need.  Most of what I do is because of what I want. Exodus 20:17, You shall not covet your neighbor's house, you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male or his male servant, his ox or his  donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor. Okay, need is what really drives us. I mean, it's amazing when you're, if you don't eat for an entire day, when you finally eat, it's like this  is the one thing that's on your mind. And then you eat until you can't eat at all you eat till  your stuffed. You don't even want to look at food, the thought of food makes you sick. All you  have to do is wait one more day of not eating. And it will be the only thing that you think  about. So it's this need that keeps coming back over and over and over again. And it drives  you to do stuff. Okay, so but if you take need away, again, now we're not we're not. We're  motivated by want. And want is not as strong as need. I want this, but do I need it. And we  end up wanting a bunch of stuff that we don't need. And the problem in our culture today,  especially here in the west where we have credit cards, you can just buy whatever you want  right away. If you want it you can get it and then you can later pay for it. But see that doesn't  help you with a work ethic, because you already have the thing that you now have to work  for. In the past, when you didn't have credit, you had to work really hard for something. And  finally, the reward of working really hard was to get the thing that you wanted. So you're  motivated the whole time you're working. Now you already have the thing that you want. And  now you have to work hard for what, just to pay for it. And people have a hard time getting  motivated to work for something that they already have. And in most cases, because it's not a need, that thing we want, we want it, we want it, we want it, then we get it one week later,  we don't even care about it. It wasn't that big deal. It wasn't the thing that we really needed.  So what I'm trying to illustrate is the eroding of this work ethic. And without a work ethic,  people can't get anything done. Their lives are broken, their marriage is falling apart, their  family is not working, the church thing is not working. And you're trying to lead your a pastor,  your a church worker, you're trying to make things happen, no one shows up, you can't get  anyone motivated. Why? Because this work ethic is being eroded. People don't have the  sense of working hard towards something and eventually getting rewarded for it. Okay, we  have a made up need, okay, made up need, go to the end, oh, sluggard consider her ways  and be wise without having any chief officer ruler, she prepares her bread in the summer and  gathers her food in harvest. Okay, a made up need is when you buy something on credit, for  example, I buy a car, I don't have all the money. So I borrow money from the bank, and then I  buy the car. So now I need to work to pay for the car. But it's not a real need, it's a made up  need is a need that I put on myself. I didn't have that need before I put that need. It's not like  hunger, where it's a natural thing every day I need to eat. You know. So now it's so all these  things that we buy on credit are just made up needs. And now I owe the bank money. And  now I got to get up on Monday morning and work really hard at a job maybe I don't even like  because I have a need. But it's a made up need. And again, it's hard to get motivated to work  hard for something made up. It's not a real need is something that I imposed on myself. And  I'm always thinking, how can I get out of this? How can I escape from the debt, maybe some 

of you are in debt right now. And it's just this cloud sitting over you. And it keeps you from  actually doing anything about it, the weight of the debt keeps you from actively doing  something. So here in the United States, we have different courses, I think in the enterprise  class, I talk about how you get out of debt, how you can positively you know, divide up your  dead and attack at Little by little by little by little, it just like you know pouring cement, one  wheelbarrow after another little by little by little you can accomplish a big thing. But you see,  that's where a coach comes in. Right? A coach comes in and helps you get past the these  things that we bogged ourselves down in. Number four obligation. obligation is actually a  great way to get a sense of a good work ethic. I Timothy 5:8, if anyone does not provide for  his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is  worse than an unbeliever obligation. So I got married about 40 years ago, and I made  promises to my wife, I promised to provide for her. So I didn't have that need before. But now  I have made an obligation to her. And that obligation pushes me to work, it pushes me to do  things. And because I care for her, I'm gladly doing these things. And then we have four  children. Again, I have got to take care of these children I get to provide for these children.  And I want to see it's an obligation that I have, but I want to do it. I joined a church. I feel like  I'm a part of that community. I want to help with that community. I'm obligated to the  community I joined, I made promises to use the gifts that God has given me. For for the vision of that church. I'm obligated to this group of people. And that helps me it helps me get out of  bed. It helps me accomplish things. See, that's what a work ethic can do for us. But when  people are so what's happening in our culture is people are they don't want obligation. They  don't want to get married. They don't want to Make a commitment to a company, they want  to bounce around and see what's best. People don't want to make a commitment to a friend,  you're my friend now, but who knows, you're my spouse right now. But who knows? Everyone  has this sort of, we'll see how it goes mentality. People don't want to be obligated. And  because they don't want to be obligated, they don't have the motivation to stick with  anything. To have a good solid work ethic. opportunity, opportunity, and grabbing onto an  opportunity is a great way to get this sense of, of a work ethic. Ecclesiastes, I love this verse,  sow your seed in the morning, and at evening, Let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed. I love that. It should say sow you're seed in the morning and at evening,  Let not your hands be idle, because sowing your seed in the morning might not work. Don't  just do one thing. You know, try this and then try that. And maybe this one will work and this  one won't. But this, the writer here is so optimistic. He says well do this, but also do this and  maybe both will work. If you don't know which will succeed whether this or that, or whether  both will do equally well. Okay. Opportunity is starting something. Many of you are here at  Christian Leaders Institute, because you're thinking about something that you might want to  do. You might want to volunteer at your church, you might want to start your own coaching  business. On the side, you might want to start a church, you might want to be a better leader  and take more ownership and leadership in your church. You you're seeing some kind of  opportunity out there. And what is seeing that opportunity do it motivates you. It motivates  you to take ownership. And here you are listening to this. And then you have to take a quiz.  And then you have to listen again. Then you have to get this certificate and that certificate  you're doing all these things. Why? Because you're being driven by an opportunity. It's  creating a sense of work ethic in you see what that's what our culture is missing. And that's  why this need for a coach is becoming more important. Number six riches. People work to  have a work ethic because they want to get rich Proverbs 10:4, lazy people are soon poor,  hard workers get rich. Proverbs 14:23 all hard work brings a profit but mere talk leads only to  poverty. So this is probably the driving force for most people, they want to work and they  work hard, so that they can get rich. But what's the purpose of riches according to the Bible,  Proverbs 10:4, this kind of the negative reason but the leech has two daughters give give they cry. Okay, there's there are people that are takers, it's sorta in that mentality, someone should do it for me, someone should provide for me. Someone owes me the world owes me the  government owes me my parents owe me the school owes me. You know, the church owes  me the pastor owes me my spouse owes me my kids owe me my parents owe me. I mean,  it's, you know, it's about me. You know, everything is about me. And someone should be 

giving me stuff, give, give, give, give, okay, that's becoming more of a mentality out there.  And because of that mentality, people's lives are falling apart. Because you know what, no  one owes you anything. You've been given the greatest gift the world has ever known the gift  of life. And then you get life again. And knowing Jesus Christ gives you the Holy Spirit gives  you a purpose, that you get all eternity and it's that you don't, you don't deserve anything,  everything you get is a gift. If you saw everything as a gift, then every day would be an  opportunity. Instead, no. I'm old. I'm being, you know, other people are getting stuff and I'm  not getting it. And so I'm unhappy. And that leads to not doing anything. So one of the  purposes of working hard and getting money is so that you don't have to be dependent on  everybody. So that you can actually take care of yourself that you can take care of your own  children rather than other people having to work hard for you. Ephesians 4:28 Anyone who  has been stealing must steal no longer but must work doing something useful with their own  hands, that they may have something to share with those in need. So one of the obligations  that we should tie into is that will help us work hard, is we're here to help others. It's not  about you. It's not about me. Life is not about me. It's about me trying to be used by God to  help others. That's the whole goal of everything. That's, you're learning all this stuff at  Christian Leaders Institute because because you want to help someone. It's not just so that  you can look good. satisfaction. A work ethic gives satisfaction Ecclesiastes 2:24-25, a man  can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see is  from the hand of God, for without him who can eat and, or find enjoyment. So working hard,  and accomplishing things is actually the joy of life. It's where the fun is, isn't I mean, if you  find something that you really enjoy doing, and it makes a difference, you know, real work  makes a difference in someone's life, even a business, your business is not going to succeed  unless your business is designed to help somebody do something, or get something, or to  improve something, or to make someone's life better. If it doesn't do that, no one's gonna buy your product or your service. So, and that's the fun of it, to see, someone's life changed  because of what you did see, that pushes, okay, but we're losing that we're losing that sense  of, you know, I'm here to help others. Instead, in our modern world, it's more, you know, what  can I get is all about me, it's all about my happiness. You know, I'm not happy in this  marriage. So I want out, I'm not happy being a parent, I'm not happy with this job. I'm not  happy in this church. So I'm going to go to another church it's the focus is on ourselves. And  so everything is breaking and falling apart, and people are tired of it. And so this whole  coaching thing comes along, where someone says, You know what, I can help get you back on track, and stop blaming everything else, and take ownership for your own life. Finally, this  really is the essence of a work ethic. If this is probably, you know, everything I've said is  important. But this is like trumps everything. God's purpose. I Corinthians 9:26. Paul says, I  run with purpose in every step. I'm not just shadowboxing. I'm not just, I'm not just spending  time doing things. What I'm doing is important. Well, how can he say that Colossians 3:17.  Whatever you do, doesn't matter what you do for work. Whatever you do, whether in word or  deed do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God, the Father through him.  Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward it is the Lord Christ you  are serving. This is, I think, in our culture today, in our world today, we're moving away from  this. People don't know why they're working. They don't know why they're having children.  They don't know why they're doing whatever they're doing, because they don't have a sense  of ultimate purpose. The purpose in life now for many people is just to be happy to enjoy this  day, to get stuff to buy stuff, thinking that that will make them happy. But there's no big  purpose for which it all goes under. And so people don't stick with anything. They're like  hopping from one thing to the next. Maybe this will make me happy. Maybe that will make me  happy. The minute they have a problem, they they shift to something else. We really need to  get back to this idea that there is a God. That's why That's why you know, Christian Leaders  trying to help you to to reach people, because that's what's going to change the world. We  need people to believe that there is a God number one, and that God has a purpose for every  single person, that God gives gifts and abilities to every single person and he wants to use  every single person to make and grow his kingdom. There's a plan. And it's an eternal plan. 

What you do today is not just for your happiness today, it's for all eternity. What you do as a  parent, what you do in your marriage, what you do in your church, what you do with your  friendship, what you do with your job. All of these things have an influence on all eternity. You  see, if people had that sense, see then they would get up and do stuff. They would be  motivated to work hard. For right now people are floundering why because I'm just working  for a car or I'm just working for Well, I don't know why I'm working working for to pay off debt, I'm working to be like the people around me, I don't know why I'm doing all these things. And  so people stop. Everything is half hearted. And then they wonder why everything is falling  apart. And that's why this coaching thing is become more and more important because  people are lost. They're like sheep without a shepherd. And they're wandering about the field,  and they don't know what to do. And so then a coach comes and says, I can help show you  the way I can help you get back on track, whether it's, you know, whether it's in the business  world, or whether it's in the getting in shape world, or whether it's in the spiritual growth, you  know, doing something for God world, see, see, see so you see what's happened. We've lost  the sense of purpose. With the loss of the sense of purpose, we lost his work ethic, the there  was something called in church history and the Protestant work ethic, this sense that God has  ordained, every every option of work, it's everything that we do is a calling of God. We're not  doing it to sell this product, or to create this service. We're doing this work to serve God in the best way that we can. We do our best, and it's not for the boss. It's not for the client. It's not  for the people that buy this. No, we do it because we're serving God. Okay. People need to  come back to that. And they don't know that they need to come back to that and that's why  they're searching for something. And that's why I think this whole coaching thing is become  the phenomenon that it's become