Video Transcript: Prerequisites to Christian Coaching

All right, welcome back, Steve Elzinga. Here again, this is the coaching class. And I want to  deal with some prerequisites for Christian coaching. Coaching is a big deal in the secular  world. And it's client directed. And the coach really just enables the client to sort of pursue  whatever goals that they have in mind. And they can fall in to the Christian worldview or not.  But when Christians do Christian counseling, we believe that it works only because there's  certain certain prerequisites that the client meets. So I want to go over these prerequisites.  And it you may be coaching someone that doesn't have all these prerequisites. But then that  that might be the area that you need to start and and it wouldn't technically be coaching, it  would be more like discipling, or mentoring, or at least teaching and training. And you may  have to do a little bit of teaching and training before you can actually do the coaching, at  least when it comes to Christian coaching. So the first prerequisite is sort of obvious, I guess.  It's a saving connection to Jesus. If you're going to do this client centered, sort of therapy or  coaching, whatever you want to call it, where you're really, you're not trying to have an  influence on the person that you're trying to help. You're trying to bring something out of  them. You want to make sure that the something that is in them is Christ. Without Christ being there, you know, who knows what direction you're going to help your client go. So this is  criteria number one saving connection to Jesus Acts 16:30-31. He the Philippian jailer then  brought them out. And asked this is Paul and Silas, they were thrown in prison. And all of a  sudden, the Holy Spirit came and the prison doors were flung wide open, and the jailer came  running, and he thought everyone had escaped. And Paul and Silas were still there. But he  was still afraid he was afraid for his life. If the prisoners would escape, perhaps the jailer  would have to pay for that with his own life. So he's either afraid the Philippian jailer then  brought them out of the prison and asked Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And probably the  Philippian jailer is thinking saved from the, you know, the people in charge of the jail, saved  his own skin. But Paul, Paul answers this way. Paul, and Silas answered this way, they replied,  Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household, they're talking not  just about saving your physical life. They're talking about how to actually get saved for this  life and for all eternity. So you may have to deal with your client and actually talk about that,  you know, are you saved? Do you have a saving relationship with Jesus? And if they don't, this might be the time to lead them to faith, John 15:4-6, Jesus said, Remain in me. This is part of  the criteria of why you want Jesus in their heart already before you do the coaching process.  Jesus says Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself. See, that's the whole premise of coaching is the fruit is inside of the client already. Okay? The good stuff  is already there. And the coach is there to bring it out. It's like a coach in a sporting venue  too. The ability to play a certain sport like soccer, the ability physically and mentally all these  things are there and the coach is now going to help bring all these things out. Well it's the  same thing here Jesus is you know, sort of the the thing inside that you want to bring to life  no branch can bear fruit by itself. So what's needed? It must remain in the vine. Neither can  you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine You are the branches. If you remain in  me and I in you, you will bear much fruit apart from me. You can do nothing, okay? The whole  goal of the coaching thing is to help a client identify, you know, a problem in their life or  something that they want to change. And then to help them make a goal, and then make a  plan to reach that goal and then to help manage that plan so that they actually succeed. But  apart from Jesus, you can do nothing. Or another way to say it is well, you you might be able  to do things but who knows whether it's serving the Lord or not are serving his kingdom.  Philippians 4:13, Paul says, I can do all things. Okay, again, this whole coaching thing is I'm  trying to help you do something, you know, are you able to do something? Are you able to  change your life? Are you able to make? Or to become a better parent? Or to start a business  or to plant a church? Or are you able to do these things? Is all the capabilities within you?  Well, yes, if Jesus is inside of you, I can do all things through him. Who gives me strength  Ephesians 3:20. Now to Him, Jesus, who was able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. To Him be the glory in the church,  and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen. This is quite a well  known. Verse, now to him who was able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,  a lot of times, you'll hear people talk about this verse. And how they tend to use it is you need

to imagine greater things. You Your dreams have to be bigger than they are right now. You  have dreams, but there there. They're not God sized dreams. And so according to this verse,  you should have like big God sized dreams. So if you're going to plant a church, it should be a  big church. Or if you're going to go to CLI you should be taking these classes and you will  become a professor or I don't know some grand view of what, what you can do. But that's not  really what this verse says. This verse doesn't encourage people to imagine things to imagine. immeasurably more. That's not what it says. This says that now on to him, who was able to do immeasurably more than you imagined. In other words, you didn't think of any of these  things. You're just trying to do a small thing. You know, Mother, Teresa didn't start out trying  to be Mother Teresa. She, she saw someone who was dying on the street, and thought a  person shouldn't have to die alone. And so see, help that person, you know, she was  alongside of that person. And then she helped more, and then other people started helping  her and then she became Mother Teresa. In other words, God took the small, tiny little thing  that she did, and did immeasurably more than she could ever ask or imagine. She wasn't  asking for what she couldn't imagine. So it's not that we have to get people to dream, these  huge big dreams, we just have to get them to do anything. And we leave it up to God, in  terms of what it's going to be the pressure is not on us. So, so, with your client, it's not like  you have to get him to have some big huge dream, he just has to do something. The goal is to get him to do something, but we trust that God can take whatever that is, and make it into  something. John 14:5-7, Thomas, one of the disciples after, you know, Jesus, they're having a  discourse and Thomas said to him, Lord, we don't know where you're going. So how can we  know the way And Jesus answered, I am the WAY and the TRUTH and the LIFE. Okay? So in  this client centered coaching, where I'm not trying to lead the person that I'm trying to help,  I'm the coach, but I'm not trying to lead this person. I'm trying to help this person try to figure out what it is that they should do. Okay. But you want someone That is sort of connected to a  good way. Right? So, so if a person is a Christian, then they have Jesus in their heart and in  their life, they're talking and listening to him every day. And then, you know, there's a way  and there's the truth. And there's, there's a life inside of the person that you're coaching. If  there isn't the way, the truth in the life inside of them, then as I'm coaching them, who knows  what they're going to do something that is, you know, anti Christian, and you know, as a  coach, as a Christian coach, that's not what I want to do. I want to help people become the  best servant of Christ, that they can be not a servant of the devil. Philippians 3:10-11, I want  to know Christ says Paul, yes, to know the power of his resurrection, and participation in his  sufferings becoming like him in his death. And so somehow attaining to the resurrection from  the dead, I want to know, the power of Christ's resurrection. So you're trying to help someone, you know, overcome something, to help help them form formulate goals, action goals, that  that might transform his life change his marriage, change, what he's doing in work, or  ministry, or whatever, whatever the issue might be. And we'll talk about that in future lessons about how to treat try to figure out what that thing is, when you're trying to help them and  how were they going to succeed. And the reason that they've come to you as a coach is they  haven't succeeded. They have not succeeded in the past. So they have a lot of failure, and  how are they now going to succeed is it just because you're such an awesome coach. You  don't want the whole thing resting on your ability. Because again, you're just trying to help  them do what's already there. You're not making it happen. You're not making phone calls,  you're not the one making connections for this person. You're only there to help them do the  thing that they should be doing. So how are they going to succeed if they don't have a power  within them to do it? So So you want someone who has a connection to Jesus, so that they  can have this resurrection power of power, they can take things that that are dead, things  that have failed, and turn them into successes. I Peter 2:1, his divine power, God's divine  power has given us everything we need for godly life for a godly life, through our knowledge  of Him, who called us by His own glory and goodness. His divine power has given us  everything we need for a godly life, a godly life. Okay. In some ways, that is what we're  coaching this person to, to have to have a godly life, a godly directed life, a life that serves  the purpose of God. And we're trying to help this person, this this client, this person, we're  trying to coach, we're trying to help them figure out what God's purpose is for them. What is 

God's purpose in their, their family, their marriage, in parenting, in their community, in their  friendship, circle, in the church, in their business, in the world. Okay, so a connection to Jesus. Secondly, they need to have received the gift of the Holy Spirit. Okay, there's three aspects of the Holy Spirit. I want to just go over briefly, the fruits of the spirit, the gifts of the Spirit, and  the guidance of the Spirit. So start with the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22. But the fruit of  the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. When the Spirit of God is in someone, the spirit exhibits Himself in these qualities. Love, joy, peace,  forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, gentleness, and self control. These are the kinds of things that people need to succeed. When they set out goals. They need love. Otherwise, people become selfish and they do things just for themselves. They need Joy. Joy is the thing that motivates us. Peace, a forbearance or endurance whatever you make a goal in  life, you're going to come up against obstacles and you're you're going to have to endure it's  the Holy Spirit that gives people the the the ability to endure the hard things, kindness,  goodness, all these faithfulness, sticking with something and even when you don't have all  the evidence that it's going to be a success, you want your client, you know, not just giving up the first time he, he hits an obstacle or a wall, he's got this goal and then he goes out and  then it doesn't work, and then he wants to quit. No, you want someone that is faithful, that  that has some endurance. And these are gifts that the Holy Spirit gives. So when you become  a Christian, God puts the power of His Holy Spirit inside of you. And it the Holy Spirit exhibits  Himself in these kinds of things. These are the things that a person needs to succeed. The  gifts of the Holy Spirit, so there's the fruit of the Holy Spirit, that's sort of the result of the Holy Spirit inside of you. The gifts of the Spirit are specific abilities, that that the Holy Spirit gives a  person Romans 12:4-8, for just as each of us has one body, with many members, he's talking  about his physical, physical body. And these members do not all have the same function. So  in Christ, we though many form one body and each member belongs to all the others, we  have different gifts, according to the grace given each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then  prophesy in accordance with your faith, if it's serving then serve, if it's teaching then teach, if  it is to encourage then give encouragement, if it is giving, then give generously, if it is to lead, do it diligently, if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully, okay, this is Romans, the gifts of the  Spirit are also talked about in I Corinthians 12. So Romans 12, and I Corinthians 12, now to  each one, each person, a manifestation, a, an evidence of the Spirit is given for the common  good. So he's saying that the Holy Spirit gives different gifts to different people in the church.  And all those gifts work together, for the building up of the of the whole body, to one is given  through the spirit of message of wisdom to another the message of knowledge by means of  the same spirit, To another faith, by the same spirit to another gifts of healing by that one  Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophesy to another distinguishing between  spirits to another, speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues, all these are the work of one and the same spirit. And he district district  distributes them to each one, just as He determines. So there's all these different gifts. And  and, you know, if your client doesn't know, I mean, one of the things you might discuss before you get into the whole coaching thing is you might discuss the gifts of the Holy Spirit, or and  the fruits, you know, do you see evidence of the fruits of the Spirit in your life, the gifts of the  Spirit, you'll be surprised at how many Christians have no idea what their gift is. And in fact,  they'd never really thought about it or even talked about it. So you may have to spend some  time looking at the gifts of the Spirit to figure out what gifts they have, because what gifts  they may have, may sort of relate to the goals that they come out with. If your gift is  leadership, if that's the the spiritual gifts that God has given you, then you know some of the  things that you're thinking about what you want to do might involve leadership, or if your gift  is serving, or the gift of mercy, you really care for people. And you're really, you know,  kindness is the thing that drives you, then, you know, that might be used in some of the  things that you're pursuing. The guidance of the Spirit, John 16:12-13, I have much more to  say to you more than you can now bear. But when he the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide  you into all the truth. Okay, so you're trying to help your clients figure out what they should  do with their life. You're, you're just opening the door, but but you're trusting that there's  something inside the client that will help direct him in the right, right way. You're going to ask 

questions, and set up scenarios and use different models to help them figure out how to think  about their own life, you're not going to influence and try to push them in any one direction.  So you have to trust that the client is going to go in a good direction. And the only way to do  that is to be talking and helping someone who has Christ in them and the Holy Spirit in them,  the Holy Spirit that will guide them into all truth. So I'm going to trust my client I'm going to  trust that he's going to, you know, come up with the right things and pursue the right things.  Why? Because I trust that the Holy Spirit will guide him into the truth. If the Holy Spirit wasn't  there, I don't know what direction this client is going to go. John 14:26, Jesus said, but the  Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things,  and will remind you of everything I have said to you. So there, there it is, again. Again, the  whole point of this is, the prerequisite is that there is actually something good Remember, I  talked about Rogerian therapy as sort of the, you know, maybe the foundational thing that's  behind this whole coaching thing. And the problem with that whole view of working people is  that Carl Rogers thought that, that people are basically good. And there's goodness in them.  And all the coach has to do is help bring that goodness out. But as Christians, we believe well, that's not really true. It's not goodness, at the heart of it, it's sin at the heart of it. And unless  we deal with the sin problem, you know, sin is in there and that, somehow it's going to come  out. And people will have goals of self, selfish goals or self absorbed goals. And not goals to  be used in God's kingdom. So So again, the starting point is a person of faith. Someone who  believes in Jesus and someone who has received the gift of the Holy Spirit. Maybe they have,  maybe they haven't if they haven't then that really is what you should be discussing